“I can’t believe you drive a bike. I thought at any moment you’d go flying off and get sucked under the wheels of my SUV.”
I stopped abruptly outside the door of my apartment and glared at him.
“Listen up” I said exasperated and louder than necessary. “I can handle my bike just fine. I flew into a tree once and then it never happened again. Why were you even worried about it? You know it wouldn’t hurt me.” Then I stomped into my apartment. He entered slowly, probably afraid I was going to yell at him some more, but my earlier thoughts about my apartment had been correct. I could feel myself calming down as I saw Valentine sleeping in the middle of my bed, and the pile of old books teetering on the edge of my desk. I had been trying to organize my thoughts on the drive home and I knew which question I was going to start with. I gestured for him to have a seat on the couch while I curled up on the overstuffed armchair across from him. I was trying to calm myself down when Valentine jumped into my lap.
“Awww you have a cat LiLi.” He sounded surprised by the normalcy of the situation. As he spoke, Valentine arched his back and hissed before settling himself in a more comfortable position to glower at Billy.
“Awww LiLi, you have an evil cat.” He had more humor in his voice now.
“He just doesn’t like new people, especially ones who judge his Mother’s mode of transportation.” He was chuckling now and I tried to pull my crap together.
“I have a million questions, but before I get to all of them, how is it we can even be sitting here like this? We have been in the same room all day. Olexander said it would be painful, practically impossible.”
He looked instantly uneasy, like he was hoping this was the one question I wasn’t going to ask him. He shifted his weight around on the cushions, fidgeting and re-adjusting his shirt before he answered.
“I’ve never done the ritual LiLi, not once. I don’t have sins of others in me like Collectors usually do. If I did, I probably wouldn’t have even been able to sit in the library with you.”
“How is that possible? Clara was your Mentor wasn’t she. She didn’t teach you? Did something happen to her?”
He squirmed again tugging at the bottom of his shirt.
“Clara was my Mentor, but she was also my Mother, she didn’t want this life for me, she didn’t want me to see death. I think part of her was selfish. She knew that once I began Collecting that we couldn’t be together anymore. She taught me the ritual of course. I know the mechanics of it, but I’ve just never practiced it. Clara is just fine. We visit often, and she lives in Dublin now. There are still people there that believe in the old ways.”
I could feel the shock on my face. “How is Clara your Mother? Sin-Eaters can’t have children. Didn’t you ever want to practice?”
“She doesn’t know how it happened, just that it did. She has never told me who my father is. I was selfish too, I didn’t want to never see my Mother again, but more than that I don’t think it’s my place. I’m not God LiLi. Who am I to decide whose sins are taken? What if I took unforgivable sins and let a monster sleep in peace? I couldn’t live with myself for all eternity like that.”
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I got up from the chair to pace back and forth. Of course, I had thought the same thing over the years. I had voiced the same concerns before I’d ever even reached my 20th birthday. Olexander said it was why I was born. It was my destiny; I didn’t have a choice. I was horribly furious. All the things I’d seen. All the sins I’d felt. I could have avoided it all if I hadn’t believed everything I had been told.
“Maybe you should sit down and take a few deep breaths,” he said in an uneasy voice.
“Why are you here Billy? Why are you researching Sin-Eaters? What do you want from me?” I plopped back down and Valentine instantly jumped back into my lap. Apparently, he was acting as my guard dog today. Billy started speaking again, but very slowly, almost like he was talking to a child. It was irritating as all hell.
“Your boss, he has a reputation for being able to find rare books. I found his credentials on a website and I contacted him, but he never emailed me back. I was in the area and so I thought I would stop by to see him. I didn’t know you were there, but when I saw you last night my heart nearly stopped. I wasn’t looking for you. I wasn’t sure it was you at first, but you were so careful to not look me in the eyes, and then I heard your voice.”
“That still doesn’t explain why you are here researching at all.” I said weakly.
“I have spent the better part of fifteen years trying to learn everything about us that I could. Most of my life I have tried to pretend I wasn’t different from everyone else. I could feel their sins, but without practicing the ritual, I don’t think I feel them as forcibly as you do. I wanted to know why we exist. Haven’t you ever wanted to know where you came from LiLi?”
I was indignant. I didn’t like how he seemed so sure I had been an unquestioning drone for 100 years. Just because I had accepted my fate more readily than he had didn’t mean I was an idiot.
“Of course I wanted to know,” I said with fury lacing my voice. “Where was I supposed to look? There is more information in comic books than in the real world. I didn’t even know where to find another Collector. It’s not like we are on Match.com.”
He stood up to put his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged away.
“Maybe we should wait a bit before I answer any more questions. Do you want me to leave? Or I could crash here…”
“Crash into the side of a mountain for all I care.” I grabbed my jacket and purse off of the hook by the door, not even bothering to get my helmet and stomped out. I drove around town trying to get past the annoying desire to rip Billy’s head off. I hadn’t seen him in 112 years, but I had thought we were friends once. Why hadn’t he been looking for me? Why didn’t he find me when we were much younger and tell me I had a choice? My rational mind knew that he probably hadn’t thought of me much after he had left our town, and that it wasn’t his job to inform those of us too full of blind faith. I knew all the feelings I was having weren’t his fault, but I still wanted to smack him.
I suddenly realized I was driving very fast, in a hurry to get home. What if he wasn’t there? What if my infantile behavior had caused him to leave and I would never see him again. I had been gone for hours; it was just starting to get dark outside. I wasn’t paying attention going around the final curve to my apartment and skidded on the gravel. I went flying off into a pile of leaves and brush. I lay there. Nothing hurt but my pride, and prayed no one had seen me. After not hearing any movement for several minutes, I trudged back to my bike, stood it upright, and pushed it the rest of the way home. Walking back into my apartment I was relieved to see him sitting in my armchair reading a book of Shakespeare’s Sonnets. His stared at me wide-eyed as I walked in, a quick glance at the hall mirror told me why. My hair was full of leaves, twigs, and a piece of a broken daisy. I sighed and plopped down on the couch.
“Do.Not.Say.A.Word,” I said staring him right in the eyes.
He stifled his laughter as best he could, “I see where your cat gets his glare.”
I threw a pillow at this head and propped my feet up on the coffee table. I pulled yesterday’s unfinished bottle of cherry cola out of my bag and took a swig. He watched my action confused.
“You don’t have to pretend to have human idiosyncrasies around me, remember?”
“I’m not pretending. I like the taste of it.”
“I’m very sorry about your friend. You seemed very close to him.”
His eyes were apologetic. I also noticed for the first time they were their real color, he had taken his contacts out. In all the new information, I had pushed George to the back of my mind. Now I could feel the tug of my heart. My voice only came out in a whisper.
“He was a very good man. One of the best I’ve ever met. I’m going to miss him.”
“He’s in a better place now LiLi, I’m sure of it.” The feroc
ity of his voice was very convincing and so I took comfort in the thought for a little while and again we sat in silence.
“I lied.” He whispered the words so low I nearly missed them.
“You lied? You aren’t Billy the immortal non-Collector?”
“No, well yes, I am, but I lied earlier. When I said I wasn’t looking for you. I have looked for you before. I heard a rumor about a female Collector in Paris in 1911, then again in 1918 in Russia. Both times obviously it wasn’t you. The last time I’d heard of one of our kind at all was in Louisville, 1937, but I had missed that Collector as well.”
I gasped. “I was in Louisville. There were over 350 dead from the flood.” I was angry that I had missed him. I remembered it all though, and I knew why I had to miss him. I couldn’t linger in one place too long, especially after I had performed the ritual. I couldn’t be identified. Again the anger overtook me that I had not felt like I had another choice.
“You haven’t performed the ritual in a long time though,” he said. It was phrased more like a statement than a question.
“How would you know that?”
“I can still feel the sins, and I can tell they are old. Why did you stop?”
I didn’t want to admit my reasons. Mine weren’t as noble as his. God had nothing to do with my decision. Nor did right and wrong.
“I became too attached to them. The humans I mean, it hurt too much to watch them die. It wasn’t hard to stop, no one really believed in Collectors anymore.” I shrugged.
“That’s nothing to be ashamed of.” He got up and came to sit next to me on the couch throwing his muscular arm around my neck.
“So what do you think LiLi? Do you want to help me? You could help me search. I would love to have you with me.”
His offer stunned me. I thought myself lucky he was still sitting in my lackluster apartment. I had never considered that he would want me to go with him. Valentine jumped down from the bookshelf and hissed again in Billy’s general direction.
“Come on LiLi, it will be fun. I bet you haven’t even been out of the states in decades. I’m going back to Dublin to see Clara, then on to follow a lead in Greece.”
“Aren’t you forgetting? I can’t see Clara.”
“I haven’t forgotten. You’ll love Dublin it’s beautiful.” Valentine hissed again. “You can even bring your evil cat if you want. Luckily I don’t sleep so he won’t have a chance to claw my eyes out.”
My excitement at the idea surprised me. It would be nice to have a friend, to travel to beautiful places with someone. I could find answers. I thought of all the things I would say to Olexander if we were to come across him. I suddenly couldn’t wait to leave.
My voice was so chipper when I answered him I hardly even recognized it. “I would need a few days, just to get my things in order. Can you wait a few days?”
“Of course, it’s no problem, and I am still hoping to talk to your boss tomorrow.”
I was smiling, rare for me in general. Valentine jumped in my lap. I was happy, and I wanted the feeling to last. I decided I should get started packing right away.
“I am going to go to the store and get some things in order.” I jumped up and grabbed my bag.
He smiled too. It really did look like he wanted me to go with him.
“I am going to get some things from my SUV. Do you mind if I did some research here?”
“Use anything you need.” I was almost out the door when he grabbed my arm. In his hand was my shiny purple helmet.
“You better take this with you; I don’t think your hairstyle could handle another crash.”
I glared at him, in my head this time, but then I took my helmet willingly and kissed Valentine on the head. “Be nice to Billy” I instructed him and ran out the door.
I went to Walburgs, the store that had everything, was always open, and picked up two new thick duffel bags for the trip. There wasn’t too much I could do until sunrise. I sat outside Café et Scones waiting for Sofie. I was trying to weave a lie in my head that didn’t make it sound like I’d gone crazy and was running off with a complete stranger. Luckily, today she was early and she came over and sat down next to me.
“Well this is a surprise.” She said pleasantly.
Sofie always looked genuinely happy to see me. I never understood why. I never thought I was particularly knowledgeable about girl things like clothes and makeup. I mostly just tried to let her be herself and listen to what she said. In all my years, it seemed to be the one thing everyone needed most, but rarely ever found. I had planned to add excitement and giddiness to my voice but I was surprised when I spoke it was already there. I started the story I had been writing in my head.
“Sofie you won’t believe what happened.” I gushed. “There’s a guy, well he’s not a new guy he’s an old guy.”
Sofie’s nose wrinkled in disapproval and I realized that she didn’t understand what I meant.
“No, not an old guy. What I mean is it’s a guy I knew when I was little. We grew up together. His name is William, well Billy is what he goes by now. Anyway I haven’t talked to him in years and he showed up at the library the other day.” Sofie was salivating with the little information I was giving her, she demanded a physical description, which I gave, then asked if we would be seeing each other again. This is where it got tricky.
“Actually Sofie, Billy is a historian, and he needs a new research assistant, he asked me if I would like to work with him.”
“Lily that is amazing. I know how much you hate that boring old library. This is kismet.”
I was twisting the napkin into shreds in my hand and it seemed to alert Sofie that there was even more to the story.
“Oh there’s more, please continue.” She was as excited as a kid on Christmas morning to hear my whole story. She really was a good friend, a good person.
“Well Sofie the thing is, he travels and if I take the job I will be going to Ireland with him…leaving in a day or two.”
I picked up a new napkin and began twisting again. I don’t know why I was nervous of her reaction, but I was. Without the whole, ‘Billy and I are over 100 years old and pre-ordained to eat peoples sins’ part, the story sounded somewhat incomplete and crazy. Ok, even with that part it sounded crazy.
Sofie lowered her voice to a soothing whisper and looked me in the eye. I didn’t look away, her eyes were so kind.
“It definitely sounds crazy, spontaneous, and possibly reckless. Nevertheless, it also sounds like an amazing opportunity, adventurous and romantic. I suppose the question then becomes do you want this enough to drop everything in your life and go sort through ancient history with him?”
Her phrasing made me laugh. Ancient history, my ancient history, the thought of how accurate her wording was made me smile.
“I suppose we have our answer then,” and she grinned widely. “So I guess there is a favor you’re planning on asking me now.”
I looked at her confused, I couldn’t think of anything I would need from her, other than my strange desire to have her blessing.
“Oh I’m sorry I thought maybe you might need someone to take Valentine, until you get back of course.”
It caught me off guard, but it made sense. I couldn’t drag poor Valentine all over the globe. It wasn’t practical and I would feel awful if something happened to him. The thought of leaving him behind made me sad and I felt my tears begin to ooze out of my eyes.
“Oh Sofie would you. Would you take him and look after him? Billy said I could bring him along but he would be miserable, and what if he got lost?”
“Of course I’ll take him, he’s an angel.”
I got up and threw my arms around Sofie’s neck.
“You, Sofie, have been the very best friend a girl could ever have.”
She looked sad too. “Should I come pick Valentine up after work tonight?”
I nodded, sniffling. “I’m going to really miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, and I better get to
see this Billy tonight you hear me?”
“I’ll see you tonight.” She hollered and ran inside.
Chapter 4
I parked my bike in the lot and lugged the duffel bags into my apartment dropping them by the door. Billy was working on his laptop at my kitchen table. Valentine was perched precariously on the bookshelf occasionally sending harsh looks at Billy. I scooped him up and held him close to my chest sitting on the couch.
“I hope you don’t mind, I took a quick shower while you were gone,” Billy said apologetically.
The Sin Collector Page 4