by Amelia Jade
“Lonely? You’re surrounded by hundreds of other women.”
Kelly grimaced. “All of whom are pregnant like me. It can be great to share war stories as we go through it, to find out what others are doing for certain parts of it. But sometimes it would be nice to hang out with women who aren’t pregnant, so we can talk about something else for once.”
“Ah.” He didn’t know what else to say.
“That’s why I enjoy coming out here so much,” she continued, indicating the house behind them. “Hanging out with the Koches and their mates. It’s such a different atmosphere. I wish I could live out here like Erika,” she said, her voice tinged with a bit of jealousy.
“Maybe one day you can,” he said neutrally.
“Maybe,” she agreed, her eyes staring out into the water as it sparkled under the midday sun. “It’s not that I dislike Cloud Lake. It’s nice; I love the slow pace to everything. It’s probably better for me and for the baby.”
He watched her gently rub one hand over her swollen stomach.
“How far along are you?”
“Twenty-seven weeks,” she said. “Couple of months to go.”
His eyes were still on her stomach.
“Would you like to touch it?”
Gray looked up to find her brown eyes staring at him, the gold flecks within her irises dancing with gentle laughter.
“Um, okay,” he said, tentatively reaching out a hand.
Kelly snared it and pressed his palm to her bump, forcing him to rub it back and forth in gentle circular motions.
“Fascinating,” he murmured.
“More so when it’s active and you can feel it kicking or whatever,” she said. “That’s an interesting experience.”
He smiled. “I can bet it is.”
“That doesn’t throw you off at all?”
“Does what throw me off?”
“That I’m pregnant,” she said. “That I’m carrying someone else’s child within me.”
Gray almost immediately shook his head, then decided better of it. This was a serious question she was asking him, and it deserved a serious thought from him. Did the fact that she was carrying a child not of his blood bother him? Would it matter if he did pursue her? Could he look after the child as if it were his own, without prejudice or a predisposition to dislike it?
Of course I can. I may not be the child’s biological father, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be its dad. The father figure, even.
“No,” he said slowly. “It does not throw me off. Children are a precious resource amongst shifters, and they should all be cherished, regardless of who sired them.”
Kelly considered his answer for a long second, and then nodded. “I see.”
Gray had no idea what that meant, but she didn’t get up to leave or ask him to take her back, so his answer couldn’t have been that terrible. Had he missed something? Or taken it too seriously perhaps? Was he just supposed to have said no instead? He yelled at himself internally. Of course that’s what she’d expected him to say. A quick, simple “nope, not at all.” Light and airy. Instead he’d gone for the deep, thoughtful, serious answer. Something she wasn’t looking for yet.
He stared out into the river and wondered if there was a way he could salvage things, or if he’d already screwed up any chance he might have had with Kelly.
Chapter Six
Kelly
“I’m serious, you should look into starting up an event-planning business once you pop that child,” Kelly said. “You did a phenomenal job of putting that together today.”
She stretched back onto the single couch in her little unit, feet up on the far armrest, big, luxurious pillow behind her head. It was bliss, her aching feet finally telling her that she was doing the right thing. The phone was propped on her stomach, the speaker function enabled so she didn’t have to hold it to her ear.
“Thanks, but I dunno. Maybe. It’s definitely something I’ll consider though.” Erika’s voice came back with a slightly metallic edge to it, courtesy of the speaker.
“Good. It’ll be easier with a kid too, I think. Because you can set your own hours and what not, do it more for fun when you need something to do, and be with the child when you don’t. Flexibility.”
Erika was silent for a moment as she thought that through. “That’s a really good point, actually. I hadn’t thought of it that way. And as the child gets older I could ramp it up too.”
“Exactly.”
“Hmm, thanks, Kel. I’m going to have to put some serious thought into that.”
She laughed. “Good. You should. How’s Harden doing by the way?”
Kelly could sense the happiness coming through the phone before her friend even spoke.
“Fantastic. He and his cronies are out in the backyard now, having a bonfire and drinking beers, telling old stories and you know…being guys. Probably burping, farting, and finding it all extremely hilarious.”
The two women laughed. “Ain’t that the truth,” Kelly agreed. “Oh well, keeps him out of your hair for now.”
“Yeah, until he comes and wakes me up later looking to get some,” she said with a sigh.
“Ha,” Kelly said dryly. “’Cause you sooo dislike that.”
“You know, sometimes a girl just wants to sleep,” Erika shot back. “I’m not always down to sleep with him.” There was a pause. “Just most of the time.”
They giggled.
“Speaking of sleeping with people…”
“Excuse me?” Kelly asked. “What are you trying to imply here?”
“Nothing,” Erika said innocently. “Just that you and Gray disappeared for several hours today. Nobody knew where either of you were. Care to comment?”
Kelly laughed. “What is this, an interview? Am I under arrest, officer? Gonna take me to the interrogation room?”
“So you do admit to being with him yesterday!”
“No!” she protested. “I mean, yes, we were with each other, but we didn’t sleep together, you filthy-minded slut!”
Erika just snorted into the phone, not even bothering to acknowledge the comment. “Sure sure.”
“Shut up!” she said with a laugh. “We didn’t even kiss, okay?”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously!”
“Why the hell not?” Erika asked, sounding confused. “You spent hours somewhere alone together, and you didn’t even kiss him?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“But you did spend time together. After all this time you’ve been avoiding him.”
“I wasn’t avoiding him,” she said lamely, knowing how pathetic it sounded.
“Right. Spare me,” Erika said.
“Okay, so I was avoiding him.”
“Why?”
She looked up at the smooth ceiling. “You know, he asked me the same question.”
“What did you say?” Erika asked eagerly.
“I told him to shut up and let me talk if he wanted to know the story,” she said.
Erika sighed, but didn’t say anything, taking the hint.
“I didn’t have an answer immediately. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was because I thought he was too good to be true. And if something appears to be too good to be true, then it usually is. So I decided not to bother.”
Erika was silent as she considered her friend’s answer. “That’s an interesting way of thinking about it,” she said at last.
“Maybe. But I regret listening to it now,” she said truthfully. “I had a really good time with him.”
“But?” Erika prompted, sensing the unfinished sentence from her friend.
“But I don’t know, Erika. I mean, shouldn’t I be, like, focusing on my child and stuff? Making them a priority in my life?”
“Yes,” came the instant reply. “That should definitely be a priority. No argument there. You’re creating new life; it’s going to need lots of attention. But consider for a moment that if that’s all you’re focusing on
, you’re actually becoming obsessive. Not to mention you can get blinded by things and you might not see something in time.”
Kelly nodded to herself. That made sense.
“That’s not to say you couldn’t do it all on your own of course. I happen to think you’re a strong enough woman that you’ll be just fine. But just because you can do it, Kel, doesn’t mean you have to do it. Don’t become so focused on being a single mother that you throw a decent man to the side, just because you’ve convinced yourself you have to do it on your own.”
“Am I doing that?” she asked aloud.
“I’m not sure. But Gray is a good man from what I’ve heard. You should give him a chance.”
“You think so?”
“It’s your choice in the end, my friend. I’m not your boss on this matter. But I can see the way he looks at you. And I noticed the way you looked at him a few times.”
“Well duh, he’s gorgeous! Who wouldn’t look at him like that?”
“There was more to it than that. Even if you won’t admit that, you’ve already admitted to spending hours with him somewhere secluded. That alone tells me you’re interested in the guy.”
“Okay, fine! He’s cute and kind of fun to hang around. But I dunno, Erika. There’s such a short time until the baby is born. Is that enough time to get to know him?”
Erika snorted loudly this time. “Seriously? You saw how fast things moved between Harden and me. From what I understand, that’s how shifters are, Kel. There’s some sort of connection there, different from what I’d ever felt with another human. It’s strong, more powerful. Almost undeniable. Two or three months is plenty of time!”
“You say that, but I really don’t think I believe you,” she snorted. “You’re just crazy, really. Moving in with Harden that quickly. I could never do something like that!”
“It might seem crazy to you now,” Erika said, not insulted at all by a conversation they’d had many times before. “But if you end up meeting a shifter and realizing he’s your mate, then it’ll seem perfectly normal. If it’s Gray, you’re going to be kicking yourself for not giving him a chance sooner. Trust me! There’s nothing like it, Kel. It’s just so…oh, I wish I could find the words to describe it to you. It’s like finding someone who complements you in all the ways you never knew you needed.”
“Sounds wonderful,” she said, not believing her friend for an instant.
Erika was her best friend, but she was crazy as far as Kelly was concerned. Harden seemed like a good guy, and there was no doubt about that either. But they’d only been together for a few short weeks now, and yet her friend was acting like they’d been dating and married for a decade! It wasn’t that easy to find that one person, the one you knew you could spend forever with. Was it? Erika had to be just living in the honeymoon stage, where everything was perfect.
When the child arrived, things would be different, she was sure about it. The cracks would appear, and though she didn’t want anyone to get hurt, she wondered just how they might hold up under the pressure of having a child introduced to a union so new. It was going to be difficult for them, that was for sure. Kelly wasn’t sure she would be interested in doing the same thing. Not so quickly at least. More time would be necessary to integrate anyone, be it Gray or otherwise, into her life.
“It is, you nonbeliever!” Erika said, laughing.
“You sound like someone from a cult, upset that I won’t magically believe in your voodoo magic.”
More laughter ensued, from both sides of the phone this time.
“This is why you’re my best friend,” Erika said through the giggles.
“Because I’m a skeptic?”
“And you have a talent for making up wild accusations.”
Kelly grinned. “Aww, that’s the nicest thing you’ve said about me all day!”
“So,” Erika said, settling the conversation back down. “Are you going to see him again?”
“I don’t know.”
“What? What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I mean, I don’t know. We didn’t talk about that.”
There was a moment of silence. “What did you talk about then?”
“How to avoid being lured into a cult.”
“You’re not going to give me anything, are you?” Erika asked unhappily.
Kelly laughed. “We talked about me, and about him. What he does. How I was adjusting to life in Cloud Lake. Things like that.”
“Oh I see.”
“Yeah. Sorry, no fun stuff involved this time around.”
“Boorrringggggg.”
Kelly started to reply, but a sudden giggle over the line followed by what sounded like skin-on-skin contact silenced her.
“Umm, hey, Kel, I gotta go,” Erika said abruptly.
She rolled her eyes, knowing exactly what was going on. “All right. Have fun girl. Tell Harden to be gentle.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” came a male voice seconds before the phone clicked dead.
Kelly sighed. Where was the fun indeed? Locking her phone, she shoved it into her pocket and got up as her stomach rumbled. It was time to eat. Climbing to her achy feet, she looked around the unit that was designated as hers. It wasn’t big, but it had all the necessities. The front entrance opened right into the living room, complete with couch and wall-mounted television. A coffee table and two end tables were the extent of the furniture.
The open-concept rectangle moved right into the kitchen. Cabinets and stove along one side, counter and fridge along the other. Past that was the bathroom on the right, with a short hallway on the left leading into the bedroom at the end of the unit. It wasn’t much, but it was home. For now. She’d seen the massive house that Harden was building for Erika, and it dwarfed anything she could imagine.
If there was one talking point that hadn’t been addressed yet about getting more involved with Gray, it was the fact that she would have something like that one day as well. Not that Erika or her needed anywhere near that much space, but you never knew. Her friend had recently gone baby crazy, and was talking about having five or six kids with her “mate.”
Mate. Now there was an interesting concept, something she’d never considered before. It was something born from the shifter’s animal side, a bond that it formed with a single person, pairing the shifter up with that person for life. Human or shifter, it didn’t seem to discriminate all that much as far as she knew.
Not that Kelly was an expert on the subject, but after agreeing to voluntarily bear the child of a shifter, and spending the next six months carrying one, she’d learned a little bit about the way they worked, of their culture, things like that. Whether she ended up finding herself mated to one of them or not, her child was going to know as much about their heritage as possible.
That was another angle to think about. Her child would only have a role model from his or her human lineage. Not their shifter’s. Was it fair of her to deprive them of that? She wasn’t going to go shack up with one of them just so there would be a parental shifter presence in their life, but it was something that bore thinking about. What if she was denying them access to that cultural heritage simply by being stubborn about accepting it?
Ugh, who would have thought having a child would be so complicated!
Kelly considered that thought and found herself laughing. She still didn’t know what she was going to do, but the more she thought about it, the more she decided to stop fighting it, and just let whatever was going to happen, happen.
Besides, spending more time with Gray couldn’t be that bad. Could it? After all, he was rather attractive. Hot, even. Steaming, smoldering, sizzling hot. She could imagine his arms, the way they flexed as he lifted something. Or the bulges in his back as he stretched without a shirt on. The way his abs rolled and rippled like something carved from steel. Like—
Okay, I think it’s time for a bath.
Kelly headed toward the bathroom, clothing flying free, thoughts of Gray on her mind.
Chapter Seven
Gray
I hope this works.
He paused at the bottom of the stairs to Kelly’s unit. The buildings that housed all the former “Institute Women” as they were often called, were two stories high. Each one was self-contained, with everything they would need to survive. Talk had been made about making full apartment buildings, but the duplexes were faster, cheaper, and easier to build, without the eyesore that a full-on building would have been. The winding spaces between buildings were little more than one-lane pathways. Paving them wasn’t part of the plan, since it was hoped that within a few years they could begin to tear some of the buildings down and return the land back to something more natural, as the women birthed the children, found jobs, mates, or both, and moved on to something new.
Locating Kelly’s unit amongst the warren of hundreds hadn’t been easy, but it hadn’t stopped him either. Gray had friends in high places, including the ambassador to Cloud Lake. Andrew wasn’t just his boss, but also his friend. When he’d mentioned his plan, Andrew had been on board, and had found the necessary information. He’d confirmed that with Erika, who had only been too willing to help.
He’d not told Kelly’s best friend what he intended to do now, though. He didn’t want to risk word getting to her. Women could say they wouldn’t tell, but that often meant nothing when it came to one’s best friend. Gray knew they told each other everything. So he simply didn’t give an option.
Now he stood at the bottom of the stairs to unit G-7U. That meant it was in the G-block, one of sixteen lettered buildings. Each building contained twenty identical units. Ten per level. The U stood for the seventh unit, upper level. It was somewhat confusing, but easy enough to pick up at the same time. Finding it had been fun, but by now he’d begun to get used to finding his way through the maze. It was one of the places he had patrolled a few times when not on personal guard duty for Andrew.
Stop stalling, get up there and knock on her door.
Slowly, almost grudgingly, he overcame his nerves and lifted a foot, placing it on the bottom stair. The second came easier, and the third was barely an effort. He climbed the stairs and approached her door, his heart hammering like a heavy-metal drummer on a double bass, a constant thundering staccato more akin to gunfire than the traditional thump-thump one might expect.