I was forced to turn away, but not before I allowed the golden haired boy into my view. Gerald was where I knew he would be, hoping to see me. He stood across from me, alone on his veranda. His hair fanned away from his face with the gentle and early evening breeze. He waved and I waved back.
Then I walked back into my room. I could totally see how I could fall for a guy like that. Besides the fact that the boy was gorgeous, his kindness and vulnerability was evident, even with the distance of the two gardens between us. Gerald was beautiful inside out. I automatically felt guilty for the way I had treated him before I was thrust into the future. I had used him, knowing that a relationship with him could never go anywhere.
Gerald may have brought about the much needed illusion of normalcy, but I no longer knew what normal was. At some point I knew that I would have to make things right with him, and tell him how I feel once I knew what I was feeling. But right now I had to plan a visit, and use him again. I had no other way of making contact with Winston. Winston was the real enigma. I was dying to find out what he knew and he seemed just as eager to tell it.
Another visit to the Bergnum estate was crucial in gaining the knowledge I believed would ultimately get my memory back and essentially save my soul.
But I’m scared to death of leaving this house. I wasn’t so sure that the Apolluon couldn’t hurt me after hearing Athena’s warning. I couldn’t shake her words. The probability of running into the Apolluon again was a certainty.
Dinner was quiet tonight. Bethany decided to have dinner in her sitting room. She complained of a headache. I knew better. If I were her, I guess I would want as little contact with everyone for one night. The children ate quickly and were sent up to their rooms as usual. Thaddeus and Alexandria barely spoke to me, anyone at the table, or to each other. I couldn’t help but wonder what that was about. To no fault of my own, I was beginning to feel like a selfcentered person; believing that everything had something to do with me. I couldn’t help wondering if their lack of banter had to do with their evident disappointment of me returning as a disobedient amnesiac. It was pointless to worry about how they felt at the moment. It can’t be any worse than the rollercoaster of emotions I’m riding, and have been on for the past three days. Has it only been three days?
It was obvious that Evan’s mind was preoccupied as he played with the food on his plate. I guess it can't be easy to have the love of your life reject you.
Like a little boy forced to eat veggies, he continued to play hockey with his Brussels sprouts.
I wanted to talk to Evan about my encounter with Athena, but every time I thought to bring it up, Thaddeus would begin talking about the mines, and how much silver they were extracting each day. The man seemed a little obsessed with the lucrative minerals. I chewed my food quickly as I tuned in and out of the conversation regarding all the silver that was being hauled to Bedwyn City through Gold Hill on the Bergnum railroad. It was a different side of Thaddeus that even Evan appeared to be tuning out. After dinner, Thaddeus and Alexandria excused themselves as did Evan and Nikolas, so I never got the chance to divulge what Athena had proclaimed. I wondered, with the sensation of icicles slipping down my back, if my memory would return before my soul could be snatched.
TwentyThree
The Femme Fatale
I fell asleep quickly, every ligament exhausted, to wake up from my slumber with the room still dark. The wispy fingers of the moon’s haze delicately clawed through the lace curtain panels, bringing in inadequate light. I peered at the marble and gold clock, and was surprised to read that it was only three in the morning. Lying still for a moment, no longer feeling sleepy at all, but strangely full of energy, I wonder what, if anything had awakened me.
I didn't hear anything; not a sound. The house was tranquil. The dead silence was only broken by my own uneven breathing. It's not unusual for me to wake in the middle of the night but whenever I did, I’d be groggy and desperate to fall back to sleep. This night was antithetic because I was bursting with unexplainable energy.
I jumped out of bed and began to pace the wooden floor. Athena’s words rang like chimes in my head. I was running out of time. My memory should have been restored an hour after I got here, and it has been three days since I time travelled, and only bits and pieces have returned; nothing substantial. I’ve prayed every night that I would wake up the next morning either back in the future with this nightmare long forgotten, or if I woke up in the past I would wake knowing everything about myself. I prayed that when I woke I would have all my hopes, fears, emotions in check. Instead I’ve awakened every morning with neither prayer answered. Existing in a fog for months or years like some terminal amnesiac is not what I considered to be living. That’s if I got to live. According to Athena, I was doomed. Hades had plans for the strongest Ischeros once the Apolluon figured out whom that was.
I stopped pacing and sat on the bench at the foot of my bed. I held my head in my hands, and pressed my elbows into my thighs. I had contemplated mentioning my brief encounter with Athena to Evan last night, but thanks to the long winded and silver boasting Thaddeus Capius, I never got the chance. Evan should be privy to the timetable of my capture and death. I expected that he would know what to do. Evan would protect me. Surely he had a plan. Perhaps Zeus will jump in and save me from his evil brother. Surely a father wouldn’t hesitate to defend his daughter. He wouldn’t allow his daughter to die and be sent to the Land of the Shadows. Had I been praying to the wrong God?
Now that I’ve accepted the idea of Zeus as my father, it’s brought on thoughts of my fake parents and the ill feeling that wouldn’t subside. They won't remember my existence, and would probably not acknowledge me if they saw me now. I still missed my fake parents terribly; more so the normalcy that comes with powerless, nondeities as parents.
Damn it. Here I go again.
The tears rolled, and my cheeks were damp. I held my face in my hands and cried. I would have wailed, but that would risk waking the entire household. Stop it, I scolded myself. I’m tired of crying about things that I couldn't change.
Evan came to mind; Evan, my resurrector. Evan, my powerful werewolf slayer. Evan, my soul mate. Evan, my fiancé. Could I fall in love with someone I genuinely felt I didn’t know? Was that even possible? I knew that I felt something, and it was dangerously surfacing. A part of me wanted to express what I was feeling for him, yet the other part of me, the stronger part of me, that wanted to know more; a lot more, fought for control.
During dinner last night, it was obvious how I had hurt Evan. He had sat wounded, not saying a word. He had kept his eyes on his plate, and his hands busily shifting his food around. Making amends was a concern but not a chief one. I knew if I tried to make amends now, he might that as a sign to start wherever we had left off two years ago. Because I didn’t remember being in a relationship with him, I felt inexperienced since I had never really had a real boyfriend. I felt like a nervous kid learning to ride a bike with training wheels, and beside me was an impatient parent who kept suggesting that the training wheels be taken off. I wasn't ready to remove my training wheels. Evan would have to wait if his feelings were sincere. At this time I wasn't able to offer him any other choice.
I watched the lace curtains on my windows as they lifted gently in the faint breeze that was barely a breeze at all. It made the lack of air conditioners in this point in time almost unlivable. Usually, during autumn, the days were still very warm, and the evenings only slightly cooler, but pleasant. This night was as antithetic as the last. I was thirsty, so I decided to get a drink of water. I stretched upward with my arms extended above my head, and my feet taut like a ballerinas as I got up from the bench, and slipped my feet into my uncomfortably toasty slippers. I threw on my silk robe, padded across the large room to the double doors, and cracked one of them open. I was halted immediately by what I saw in the aperture. Quickly minimizing the open space between the two doors, so that I wouldn't be noticed, I slyly peered through, and saw Betha
ny quietly making her way to her bedroom.
She was wearing the same dress she had worn yesterday and the matching bonnet to her dress, so I presumed that she must be coming home from somewhere. At three in the morning? She moved at a snail's pace, and appeared to be gliding on a slow motion belt similar to the ones you grab your luggage off of at the airport. She disappeared into her room through her doors without ever opening them.
I stood at my door for a long moment wondering where she could be coming from at this hour. I finally closed both my doors when I couldn't come up with a conclusion. I opened the doors to my veranda and the aroma of the roses, freesia, lilac, and orange blossoms wrapped around me like a tender hug, and flooded my senses. I focused, and looked down at the dim town below.
The light posts were all lit, but I was too far above town to see anything, or hear any sounds coming from C Street. The only places known to be open on the main street at this time of night, were the saloons. Bethany wasn’t the type that hung out at all hours of the night at a saloon.
I left the veranda, and cracked my bedroom doors open once more. I stuck my head out this time, and noticed the light coming from under Nikolas’
bedroom door. I couldn’t be sure if his light had been on when I saw Bethany come in. There was light streaming out from under Bethany's as well. I looked down the opposite end of the long and wide hallway to Evan's room, and saw that his lights were out.
The silence was abolished when I began to hear faint voices. I tried not to breathe so that I could be sure. Even though they were muffled, I was absolutely certain I heard voices. I tiptoed out into the hallway, and stopped when I was right outside Bethany's doors. Once I realized that the voices weren't coming from there, I cautiously tiptoed in the direction of Nikolas’ room. With my ear against one of the double doors to his bedroom, I heard Bethany’s and Nikolas’ voices clearly.
“Why were you with that whore?” Bethany hissed.
“Calm down Beth, or you will alert everyone in this house.” Nikolas demanded, in a gruff whisper.
“Calm down? I will not calm down.” Bethany challenged angrily. “That harlot has been stalking Cordelia and I.” When I heard my name mentioned I almost ran back to my room, but eavesdropping was quickly becoming a passion of mine. I felt guilty doing it, but it seemed to be the only way I ever found anything out. Everyone seemed hell bent on keeping me out of the loop.
“I know,” Nikolas said, sounding exhausted. “But, right now, you're behaving like a child. It's not what you think Beth.” Nikolas tried to explain defensively. He didn’t appreciate Bethany’s accusatory questioning, and I could tell that he was getting angrier as his tone dropped about forty degrees.
“And what am I thinking Niko?” It was obvious that Bethany was irritated by Nikolas' icy tone, because hers sent chills down my spine. “Your gifts don’t include mind reading therefore, don't presume to know what I think Nikolas! I saw you leave her house!”
“Did you follow me?” Nikolas demanded.
“No... I didn’t follow you. My visions, when they do come, have never betrayed me. So tell me, why are you paying her visits?”
“Your visions you say? Well then you should have all the answers.” Nikolas acknowledged sarcastically.
“Ugh!” Bethany screamed. “I’m thoroughly disgusted with you. The vision was only of you ascending from her house, and nothing else. ”
“That’s because there is nothing more.”
“May I remind you that she is panthoras. If she had shifted, she could have had the advantage. You took an unnecessary risk. She would not have known she had killed you until she was human again.” Bethany explained. I wasn’t so sure that Bethany’s angst was only motivated by Nikolas speaking to Sacha and the threat against the family. Bethany may be fearing what Sacha may disclose to Nikolas about his beloved.
“First of all, Sacha would never have had the advantage. I’m a lot stronger than I look.” Nikolas’ soft chuckle cut through the air. “She would never have had an advantage over me. My strength is ten times her strength – which she only has after she has shifted. Therefore, I thank you for the vote of confidence. Besides, she was drunk. There wasn’t a chance of her transforming into a panther.” Nikolas paused to gulp something, and I shuddered just hearing Nikolas’ reference of Sacha shifting into that huge black panther.
“Secondly, it had nothing to do with Sacha’s attempted attack on Cordelia and yourself.” Another gulp. “And lastly, I didn't pay her a visit. I just took her to her home. It was an entirely different matter.” Nikolas added, in a controlled and low voice that I had to really strain to hear.
“And what entirely different matter may I ask was Sacha privy too?”
“You know that I was on my way to meet with Matthias, at his saloon, to discuss the death of his beloved, Driella. I ran into Sacha on my way into the saloon.”
“And…”
“If you will let me finish,” Nikolas snapped.
“Please do,” Bethany sighed.
“As I was saying, I was on my way into the Bucket o’ Blood, and Sacha stumbled out of the saloon and practically fell on top of me as I was about to enter.” Nikolas sighed heavily. “Sacha was rambling. She wasn’t making very much sense. Then she realized that it was me.” Nikolas paused.
“Go on,” Bethany prodded.
“She began to fight me, but was too inebriated to even mount her horse. I saw an opportunity therefore, I transported her to her house. There, I gave her a warning. I told her that she will end up dead if she continues to follow Victor's commands. I told her that this was her chance to defect. She broke down and admitted to being under some sort of spell by Victor.” Nikolas concluded.
“I handled the situation. Neither Cordelia nor I was hurt. I don’t see why you felt it necessary to escort her to her home. She can take care of herself,”
Bethany said, raising her voice slightly. She seemed beside herself with anger.
Wanting to see as well as hear, I went beyond eavesdropping, and took the position of a peepingtom. I crouched down low enough to comfortably peer through the keyhole. I could see Nikolas pacing, disappearing every so often as he went too far to the left or right of my view from my peephole.
Bethany stood in the center of the room with her back towards the doors. I could only see her expressions when she turned either left or right to follow Nikolas’ pacing. I prayed that I didn’t get caught snooping. It would be utterly embarrassing, yet the thought of that happening wasn’t mortifying enough to get me up from where I knelt. I didn't move an inch away from the doors. I was barely breathing as I anticipated what would be said next.
“Why are her reasons of devotion to Victor now your concern? She is the enemy whether she is the leader or working for him. I don't care if she is miserable. Her dilemmas are not yours. You are to stay away from her, Nikolas.” Bethany demanded, and was on the verge of screaming.
“You have no reason to be jealous, Bethany?” Nikolas assured.
“JEALOUS?” Bethany screamed, as she clenched her fists. This was going to be bad, I thought.
“Indeed.” Nikolas confirmed, no longer pacing, now face to face with Bethany, and facing his bedroom doors. I hoped he couldn’t see my peeping eye taking in the dramatic lover's quarrel.
“I have no reason to be jealous of Sacha, and I’m not. I’m looking out for this family. I wish you would do the same.” Bethany said, now sounding like she was in tears.
“Look.” Nikolas said, as the lights in the room suddenly went out, transforming the room into a modern day cinema atmosphere, as a mirage emerged, and played on the wall directly across from the doors I knelt behind. Bethany and Nikolas stood side by side, but at the left of the mirage, allowing me a camera man's view.
The image of the main street was dim, lit only by the incandescent gaslights. I was looking at the entrance to the rowdy Bucket o’ Blood saloon, still famous in the future due to the rumors surrounding a nocturnal outlaw who built it around
this time. Trickling out from the saloon, was loud ragtime music, lively laughter, and sudden growls from men either winning or losing their hand in whatever card game they were playing.
I watched as a tall guy dressed in a suit, with long dark hair tied in a ponytail, made his way to the front doors of the saloon. It was Nikolas. As he was about to enter the tavern, Sacha, scantily dressed in a black lace trimmed red dress, revealing too much cleavage and not enough modesty, stumbled out, nearly knocking Nikolas down. Nikolas looked as if he were carrying her. He put her down as she looked up at him, and then began swearing.
Apparently, she was drunker than a sailor on his last night before heading out to sea. She called him a murderer, I think. She was loud, and her words slurred so much that it was difficult to make out a single word, let alone an entire sentence.
Several of the town folk stood by laughing as this strange spectacle drew unwanted attention for Nikolas. Like a flip of a switch, Sacha began crying and explaining to Nikolas as to why she hated Bethany and me. She went on for a moment about how we thought we were better than she was, and that we’re trying to take the only boy she’s ever loved away from her. I watched Bethany’s reaction carefully. Since knowing her secret, I could detect the fear that was slowly enveloping her. She feared Sacha saying too much.
“That’s enough Nikolas, I’ve seen enough.” The anxiety in Bethany’s voice surprised Nikolas.
“No, you wanted to know what happened. I’m showing you. Now watch.”
By now the crowd had grown bored, waved her off, and had begun retreating back into the saloon. Nikolas stood on the wooden planked side walk alone with Sacha. Evidently, no one seemed to care if a girl like Sacha wept in the street. While Sacha knelt on the sidewalk with her hands covering her face as she cried, Nikolas noticed that there was no one around – no one to witness a display of power.
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