Instant Prairie Family (Love Inspired Historical)

by Navarro, Bonnie

  By the end of the service, Abby dreaded speaking with Colin because she suspected he held news from the East.

  “Good morning, Abby, Will,” Colin greeted them as they exited, Will right behind her. “Before you go...” He reached out, stopping her, and didn’t let go of her hand. “I just wanted to tell you I will continue to pray for...for what we talked about last time. I’m sure God has a plan and it’s just His timing, but...keep in touch.” He finally looked up into her eyes and she knew he was saying goodbye.

  She didn’t trust her voice. She swung away and fled down the steps to the wagon. The boys were playing with their friends and ignored her. She was almost to the sanctuary of the wagon when Mrs. Scotts called out to her.

  “Hello, Mrs. Hopkins. How are you doing, my dear?”

  The older woman had always been pleasant with Abby even though Abby had chosen to marry Will instead of one of her sons. Abby swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to force a smile, as if her life weren’t falling apart once again.

  “Hello, Mrs. Scotts.”

  “How have you been?” The older woman’s eyes were sharp and she looked Abby over from head to toes. “Do you need me to help you into the shade?”

  “No, thank you. I’m fine. I’ve been busy. This is the first year I’ve been on a farm. It’s a little different than what I’m used to.” Abby found herself blurting out anything that came to mind.

  “Have you been feeling all right? You look a little pale.” Mrs. Scotts eyes looked more merry than concerned. “You aren’t nauseated in the mornings or light-headed? Do you get extra tired?”

  For a moment, Abby wondered what Mrs. Scotts meant. Then realization hit. She felt her face turn crimson and swallowed back the taste of tears. If only she could be concerned about being in the family way.

  “There you are, Abby.” Will’s deep voice called out from behind her, making her heart speed up and her stomach flip. He came to stand beside her, resting a hand on her shoulder. It was odd that he should do that now, after weeks of avoiding her, especially when he must now hold in his hands the letter that would send her away.

  “Good afternoon, Mrs. Scotts,” he greeted the other woman. “You’ll have to excuse us. We need to get home to the chores. We’ll see you next week.” He didn’t even wait for a reply before he was leading Abby toward their wagon, calling out to Jake and the boys to say goodbye to their friends and come along.

  He lifted her up by the waist. Though he released her as soon as she was seated, she could still feel the heat of his hands halfway home. Why did the letter have to come now? Her heart and mind raged at God even as she sat silently on the wagon bench, mindlessly gazing out at the prairie. She couldn’t help noticing its changes since she had arrived all those months before.

  Now everything was dry and brittle. The plants that were light green spouts when Will brought her home from Twin Oaks in May had already grown, flowered, given their fruits and seeds and were now dying. The breeze that would have brought cool relief from the scorching sun just a few months ago now tore through her like a sheet of ice, numbing her face and fingers. She pulled her woolen shawl tighter around her shoulders.

  Strange how her life mirrored the plants. She had been here just for a while, growing to love Tommy, Willy, Jake and especially Will, but that love seemed only to have planted seeds to what would never be. The plants, though, were fortunate enough to be staying in Nebraska. Next spring they would once again burst out of the seemingly dead ground, but Abby would be miles away. It would be only a memory, the prairie and her instant family.... The one her heart claimed as its own even though Will never wanted her.

  * * *

  It had finally come. Will hadn’t realized what Colin was handing him until he glanced down and saw his mother’s flowing script on the envelope. Now it all made sense. All those looks that Colin sent Abby during the service this morning were because Colin knew that Ma had finally written back. It was a good thing the letter had come today. He wasn’t sure if he could have made it through another week. Each day had been harder than the last to get through without seeking her out and confessing that his life was never going to be the same once she left.

  Abby hadn’t said a word since they’d left church. At first, Will thought she was just in a quiet mood, but when she didn’t even answer the boys’ constant chatter, it dawned on him that she must have realized he’d be receiving the letter, too. His glace at her confirmed his thoughts. She was looking out at the landscape, turning her face away from him, her shoulders slumped and her chin down. An urge to fix it, make things better almost loosened his tongue. Almost. But maybe it would be better this way.

  He was going to get home and read the letter and then tell her that she could leave during the week...assuming his mother had found a place for her to work. It had better be a good place, where they would treat her right and pay her well. Abby worked hard and deserved much more than what he could offer.

  His barn came into view, then the rest of the property, and without too much thought he pulled up by the house, tethered the brake and jumped down, ready to help Abby from the wagon. It was a habit formed from good training on his mother’s part and had never meant much to him before. But as he stood next to the wagon, waiting for Abby to stand up, he found himself looking up into her eyes. They were red rimmed and her nose was also red as if she were getting sick.

  “Do you feel okay, Abby?” Concern colored his voice and his words.

  Instead of answering right away, she looked away, cleared her throat and nodded.

  “Were you cold on the ride?” he tried again. “You should have said.”

  “No, I’m...” Her voice sounded husky and cracked before she could finish her sentence.

  He reached up and caught her around the waist, stepping forward to examine her more closely. He studied her eyes carefully, sure something was wrong.

  Her face was drawn, as if she was tired and hadn’t been sleeping enough lately. Under her eyes were dark, purple smudges, reminding him of the time she had nursed the boys through the chicken pox and in the process, worn herself completely out. Seeing them made him want to send her to her room to rest, as he had done back then. Who would pay attention to her when she needed rest if she went back to Philly?

  “I, um, need to get down.” Her voice brought his wandering thoughts back to the present.

  He lifted her down, yet even when she was planted on solid ground, he couldn’t take his hands away. He held his wife, the one he had come to love, knowing that she would be going within the week. Something caught in his throat. His arms ached with the longing to pull her closer and hide her in his chest, letting her find comfort in his tenderness. He tried to remind himself that he was sending her away for her own good, but the reminder was no comfort now.

  She pulled away and fled up the stairs, leaving him to wonder if she was fleeing from his touch. Just before the door shut, he heard her sniffle and then she was gone. What had just happened? She had looked so forlorn. Turning away, he found three pairs of eyes watching him with accusing looks.

  He pulled the wagon around and put it away in the barn. Jake and the boys played horseshoes out in the yard, but Will puttered around the barn, looking for something to do with his hands. A part of him was tempted to read the letter from Ma once and for all. He had impatiently waited for it for so long, but now that it was finally in his hands, doubts filled his head.

  What if the employment his mother arranged for Abby didn’t meet his approval? Should he take her back to Philadelphia himself to make sure that she arrived safely? It would be almost impossible to leave the farm for that long unless Colin was willing to stay with Jake. In his mind he started to plan what needed to be done. Until that moment, he hadn’t really considered that he was planning on sending a beautiful young woman on a train without anyone to see to her welfare. It was amazing that n
othing had happened to her on her trip out.

  “You’re too busy playing God.” Her words echoed in his ears again. He was forgetting that God would be with her. God would take care of her. But what if God had wanted Will to be the man to protect her and he let both God and Abby down? He had given his word. To honor, protect, provide...until death do them part. What if...

  What if she wanted to stay, just as she had claimed a week ago? The thought snuck in and blindsided him, stealing his breath. What if she actually learned to live out on the prairie? Mrs. Scotts and Mrs. Phelps had. Would it be too much to hope for?

  Sooner or later there would be other settlers closer to their farm. Now that Colin was going to be just a quick ride away, others would surely start to settle near the church and a town would spring up in no time. His heart quickened with the thought. Before, he had dreaded the idea of more neighbors, busybodies nosing around in his business, but more neighbors might mean a school for his boys someday, other women friends for Abby to chat with, to trade recipes with, to visit and hold sewing bees with. A town would mean a sheriff. Maybe she would be willing to...

  He had to stop this silliness. He was daydreaming like some young schoolgirl with her first crush. He called himself every kind of fool for not thinking about this until now. What he should really do was read the letter, but he didn’t want to now. He wanted to see Abby. He wanted to sit across the table from her and be able to let her know that he didn’t want her to leave. That he wanted her to stay with him, on his farm, until they were both old and gray. A sudden image of Abby carrying his child came to mind and stole his breath away. Could it be possible?

  Abby called from the back step for everyone to come in for dinner. He set his letter in the tack room and went into the house. For at least one more meal he would act and think as if there were no changes coming.

  * * *

  Dearest Son,

  It is so good to finally hear from you. I waited expectantly for word all summer. I pray and trust that you are all fine and healthy. I pray for you all each night.

  I believe God has a hand in everything that has happened to you this year. I’m glad the woman who responded to the advertisement is truly a Christian, even if you do not find her acceptable for your wife or family. (I admit I hope God impeded your first letter from coming to me so you could come to care for your unexpected wife.)

  I have found a family who is looking for additional help, but I would rather meet your Miss Stewart first. I want to make sure she is able to do the work you claim she can do and at the same time, determine if she will be comfortable with the Standish family. Please send her whenever it is convenient.

  Ma’s letter rambled on, asking about her grandsons and then telling all the latest news about his sisters and their families.

  He had waited until he was alone in his room in the quiet of the evening before he had dared open it. Now that he had done that, he was surprised his mother wanted him to rethink sending Abby back. Could this be a sign that God was showing him? He already had a head full of doubts about pushing Abby away. But in the end, he kept coming back to the idea that he needed to protect and provide for her. What was the best for her? God couldn’t possibly want her to waste away in the prairie when she had so much to give others. Joy, laughter, love, attention…. What a blessing she would be to any family and yet Will knew he selfishly didn’t want to bless anyone else. He wanted her to stay with them, and if he were truly honest with himself, he was selfish enough to want her to stay for him.

  Daybreak came with little light peeking through dark, thick clouds the color of dirty wool. Will climbed out of bed, shivering with the cold, and quickly dressed, heading out to the barn and the cows before he could find himself face-to-face with Abby. He stirred the embers to flame and then tossed two logs on the fire in the kitchen on his way out. The air smelled of winter. The grasses were covered in frost. Would they get an early snowfall? That might force him into making a decision about Abby. One way or the other.

  His stomach soured with dread at the thought of sharing his mother’s letter with her. Would she be happy or disappointed with the news? He hadn’t done anything to make her feel welcome for a long time. Maybe she had all her things packed already.

  Will sent the milk in with Jake. By the time he actually returned to the house for breakfast, the boys were seated around the table and there wasn’t another opportunity to talk with Abby alone throughout the day. It was only at night, when the boys were in bed, that Will worked up the courage to speak with her.

  “Um, Abby?” he asked quietly as she poured her nightly cup of tea. “Could I talk with you for a bit?”

  Instead of responding, she bit her lower lip and reached for another mug. As she turned to face him, Will saw tears already filling her eyes. The sight broke his heart and his resolve. She nodded and he debated a moment before leading her out to the front room. Taking a seat on the rocking chair, he motioned for her to sit on the davenport.

  “Well, Abby. On Sunday...” He hesitated, unsure how he wanted to explain his mixed feelings.

  “You received a letter from your mother.” She finished his sentence in a quiet, sad voice when he didn’t continue.

  “Um... Yes.” She’d known and yet she hadn’t said a word. He studied her face, wondering what was going on behind those beautiful blue-green eyes. She didn’t smile, nod or even flinch. She just sat there, staring at the floor. His heart lightened a little bit when she didn’t jump for joy at the prospect of leaving.

  “How is she?” Abby finally asked when the silence drew out too long.

  “She’s fine.”

  “And your father?” she asked after another pause.

  “Pa’s fine. She said she hadn’t gotten any mail from me since last spring. I guess the first letter I sent got lost somewhere.”

  She straightened her shoulders and glanced at him but quickly let her gaze fall back to the floorboards. “So, when do I leave?” Her question sank heavily into the air and extinguished the small flicker of hope he had felt a minute before. If she had indicated even the slightest interest in staying, he would have been overjoyed, but she didn’t even mention it. She must have changed her mind about wanting to stay. He swallowed hard.

  “The outbound train comes every Monday, early, roughly eight in the morning. You’d have to spend the night in the hotel the night before.”

  “Then we’ll leave on Sunday?” she asked, still not meeting his eyes.

  He clenched his hands in tight fists until they shook from the effort. His heart cried out to lift her chin, push her hair away from her forehead and ask her if she still wanted to stay or if she wanted to go...but he refrained. If she said she wanted to go, he’d be crushed. And if she said she wanted to stay... He didn’t know if he’d be able to resist letting her, in spite of the regrets he was certain would follow.

  “Um, well, no. I think we should leave on Saturday. That way we won’t be traveling much on the Lord’s Day. We could stay at the hotel where we met.” He stopped talking as memories of that day flooded his head—her tears, how small and vulnerable she’d seemed to him then. He hadn’t recognized her that day. But now her face, etched in his heart as if carved into stone, was more familiar to him than the backs of his hands. When he became old and gray, he might forget his own name but he wouldn’t forget the shape of her eyes or the curve of her smile, the sound of her voice or the smell of her hair....

  “Then I’ll be sure to pack. Is there anything else you wished to discuss with me?” she asked in a voice so soft and forlorn he inched closer to hear her. The smell of cinnamon wafted to him.

  “Um...” He searched for anything that would keep her here with him in the quiet of the night a few minutes longer but came up empty. “No, that was it.” His mouth obeyed his head even as his heart threatened mutiny.

  She stood and left the room. For a
very long time, Will sat in the living room, wondering if he had done the right thing.

  “God, You know best. If You want her to stay, You’re gonna have to do something between now and Friday. Not that I have any right to put any limitation on You or tell You what to do, but I can’t do this…. I don’t know if I can let her walk out of here. Give me strength to do the right thing.”

  * * *

  For the first time since Abby’s parents’ death, she didn’t feel like dragging herself out of bed the next morning. She wanted to hide under the covers and pretend Will hadn’t said she needed to leave on Saturday. How could she possibly tear herself away from the boys? They had been calling her Ma for the better part of the summer. It would be like cutting off her arms. She couldn’t believe she had come to love them so quickly, nor so completely.

  Why couldn’t Will just let her stay? She didn’t have to be part of the family. He didn’t have to claim his husbandly rights—she understood there was something lacking in her that kept him from loving her. But if he never planned to marry again, then would it be so bad to live with a wife whom he didn’t find attractive as long as she fed his family and taught his boys?

  The rooster crowed for the second time and Abby forced herself up. If not for herself, she would make these last days special for the boys. Hopefully they would always remember her just as she would keep them in her heart. They were the closest she would ever come to having a family of her own. From now on, she would guard her heart. She would work whatever job God provided for her, but she wouldn’t let herself love anyone again.

  * * *

  “Ma! Ma! Look outside! It’s snowing! It’s snowing!” Tommy shouted right before lunchtime, running into the kitchen at full steam. “I wanna go out and play. We can go sledding! Come on, Willy!” Tommy jumped and wiggled like a happy puppy in his excitement.

  “No, not yet. It’s almost lunchtime. When your pa and Jake come in, then you can ask them.” Abby didn’t want to make promises. She knew what to expect for a November snowstorm in Ohio but not out here in Nebraska.