Danny held the door for Cecilia and chatted with her about their dinner plans, ignoring me completely.
There was no way I’d sink into his level of pettiness, so I took in my surroundings. From what I could tell we were in a complex of several connected buildings. The residential building, where I’d been relegated, was located at one end. We seemed to be walking through a school of sorts. Teenagers sat at cafeteria tables and gossiped. Around us were doors that led to classrooms.
The first floor of the next building was more bizarre than the last. On one side was a bank of elevators and a sign that informed the casual visitor of the location of medical facilities. Another bank of elevators went to somewhere called the Command Center.
Although the windows were opaque, this was the brightest area I’d seen so far. The floors were white marble. The security desks, the conversation pits scattered across the open space and walls were an equally bright white. The only break in the monochromatic scenery came from the clothes of the people walking through and the brushed aluminum elevator doors.
Two young men crossed in front of us, talking loudly.
“Did you hear anything about the mission?” The first man nearly bounced with excitement, his fingers waggling with the need to do something.
The other man nodded. “Yeah. I heard McAllister had to wrestle her to the ground and knock her out. Someone else told me that — ”
“Gentlemen,” Danny said.
They froze, fear plastered on their faces. The first man’s shoulders scrunched up to his ears and his arms wrapped around himself.
Danny’s voice, usually a rough snarl, became toneless. “Spreading gossip is a sure way to get demoted. Do you want to spend the rest of your days in the filing room? With actual paper files?”
“N… n… no, Mr. Santiago,” they said in unison. The guy with the scrunched shoulders clasped his hands together in supplication. Babbled apologies and pleas for their jobs spilled out.
“This is your last warning. Go.”
When he turned back to Cecilia and me, there was a grim satisfaction in his eyes. He’d liked scaring those men. He liked scaring people in general and throwing his weight around — a bully. That’s what Danny was.
Jude would have kicked his ass on principle. I imagined his invisible wind knocking Danny around, tripping him up and pushing him to the floor. The thought made me smile, one of those big, genuine, face-splitting grins.
Then it happened. Danny’s body flew to the left, then was yanked to the right. Another gust nearly dropped him on the floor, but he was pushed upright at the last minute. And, in typical Jude fashion, the episode ended with the arrogant jerk sprawled out on the floor.
I clapped a hand over my mouth to suppress a wave of giggling.
Danny looked for the culprit wildly. Cecilia was too stunned to move, but I had a tickling in my brain that told me she was just as amused. The guards stepped forward and stopped several times, not wanting to bruise Danny’s pride but unwilling to lose their jobs to his temper.
A small giggle broke the silence. A child, no older than eight years old, pointed and laughed.
Danny’s face, already red with embarrassment, turned a dangerous shade of purple. His hair, which had been meticulously gelled into place, stood at odd angles and his button-down shirt sported some impressive wrinkles where the wind had struck him.
The lobby was silent as Danny brushed himself off and took several calming breaths. He closed his eyes and turned to the young girl with a smile.
“I think someone’s jealous because they didn’t get to play,” he teased.
The little girl nodded. “Can you do it again?”
“Nah, sorry, kiddo. I have a meeting now. Another time?”
“Yeah! Thanks, Danny!”
I didn’t understand these people.
Danny took Cecilia’s hand, kissed it, and murmured something with a smile. She relaxed, straightened his shirt, and said something that made him laugh. The activity that had halted like a screeching record picked up the tempo, and it was as if nothing happened. All seemed right in their world.
I was torn between outrage at the lack of response and shock that Jude’s abilities somehow manifested at my wish. Was he a spirit watching over me? Did he enjoy that scene as much as I did? No matter where he was, I was sure Jude was laughing.
But Jude wasn’t there to protect me. He always told me that I spent too much time in my head and needed to pay attention to the world around me. I was smarter, he claimed, but would end up in a world of trouble because I tended to follow along blindly.
Damn. Big brother was right again.
I blinked twice and realized I stood in the middle of the lobby. Cecilia and Danny had almost reached the other side while I remained alone, like an idiot. I jogged over to them quickly and scowled.
“How often do you drag prisoners around that no one minds? You tease kids.”
Danny shrugged and held open the door leading to the final building. “Children, for the most part, are innocents. I’m not in the business of hurting anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”
“Who decides which person gets to die?” I countered. “If you believe in a higher power, you’d believe there was a master plan. You’d be interfering with it, which, if I remember correctly from, oh, every major world religion, would be screwing with said plans. Isn’t that a ticket straight to hell? As is murder?”
Cecilia and Danny exchanged apprehensive looks. “Jasper, expand that argument. Everyone has the power to decide who lives and who dies. It’s the social contract that keeps people from being murderous, thieving jerks.”
“Fine. Let’s run with the social contract. You don’t kill me, and I won’t kill you. When you hurt someone, you’re violating that contract. What puts you above the one act that maintains what’s left of civility?”
“Hold that thought. I promise we’ll continue this conversation later today.”
Whereas the previous building was blinding white, the transitional corridor slowly darkened to grey, a shade so dark it was almost black. The poorly lit corridor set my already stressed brain into overdrive. Images of figures in the dark, creatures out to eat me, and excruciating death danced like sugar plums in my head.
Feather-light touches brushed against my skin, lifted my hair, and kissed my neck. My worst nightmares never included freaky ghost-monsters in a pitch-black brothel with a penchant for foreplay. I bit back a scream of horror.
A large hand landed on my shoulder, and that scream escaped. A high, shrilly, pathetic scream.
The deep voice accompanying that hand laughed. “You’re scared of the dark, too? Ah, Jasper, you’re going to be a lot of work.”
Jordan.
“Dayte yey otdokhnut’, brat. Nasha sestra zdes’… moya sestra. My uvidim, chto ona k vam. Da?”
Mikael.
“You’re awful,” I hissed.
The darkness seemed to thicken and become more oppressive as we progressed. My body locked in place, causing a pileup of bodies behind me. Not even Jordan’s large frame could drive me forward. The idea of running through the wraiths’ bordello alone was as appealing as blindly following this path.
Neither option was ideal. The weak girl in me opened her mouth as She curled her imaginary lip in disgust.
“Hold my hand?”
Jordan snickered but put an arm around my shoulder. I pulled away. “What? Holding your hand is fine, but this isn’t? How old are you?”
“Last time you put your arm around me, you choked me unconscious. Bad idea. I’m fine.” I snatched my hand away and berated myself for continually forgetting the choking incident. Fear was a powerful and odd motivation.
“Did I apologize for that? I meant to apologize. I wish it had gone down differently.”
“But it didn’t. This is insane. I’m following the guy who hates me and continually threatens me, his girlfriend who y’all think will be my new bestie, the guy who choked me, and the guy who may or may not be a c
reep.”
Mikael spoke. “No one hates you. Sure, it’s been a rough start, but I promise it will get better.”
“Right. I’m still a prisoner here.”
“Tomato, tomahto.” I imagined Jordan’s shrug in the dark. “If you were in college and pledged a sorority, they’d haze you, and you’d ask for another helping of crap.”
“Where’s Dakarai? He seems like the only sane one of this bunch.”
“You’ll see him shortly. He’s meeting with the High Council,” Danny called over his shoulder. “And stop bitching. Don’t you ever shut up?”
Even in the dark, I knew everyone’s relative position. Danny was about ten yards in front of me, close enough for me to close the distance and do something hurtful.
“Don’t do it,” Mikael said softly. “It’s tempting. Trust me, I know, but it’s not worth it.”
“But I’d enjoy it so much.”
He chuckled and squeezed my hand. “In this group, I am the least terrifying. Am I not?”
“Sure,” I said doubtfully. “Least terrifying kidnapper and a potential murderer isn’t a title I’d advertise.”
Mikael let go and stepped away without another word. I had the impression that I hurt his feelings, maybe even his pride, and felt surprisingly guilty. He was definitely weird, and anyone who was friends with Jordan had to be suspect. But he’d only displayed kindness and understanding.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “That wasn’t… you don’t deserve my anger.”
We walked the rest of the way in silence though Mikael and Jordan were close enough that their body heat chased away the surrounding chill. If I hadn’t been afraid, I’d have found the gesture comforting. Sweet, in the way that Jude insisted on sleeping next to me in our sleeping bags when the heater in our house kicked the bucket.
The corridor sloped and curved so frequently that I lost all sense of direction. I imagined the roots of ancient trees breaking through the ceilings and walls, loosening the earth, and trapping me. The further we progressed, the worse the condition of the floor became. I tripped on loose stones, roots, and something I never wanted to see in the light of day. It was squishy and wet.
Jordan alternated between low chuckles at Mikael’s jokes in Russian and amused sighs at my constant attempts to become one with the ground. “Are you sure you don’t want to hold my hand?”
“Shut up.”
As we continued to spiral down into the Earth, I grew convinced that they were taking me like a lamb to the slaughter. I had been fed, cleaned, and was coming along somewhat willingly.
I feel something kindred below. We need to find and study it. We can kill them later.
Apparently, my inner badass was becoming a soon-to-be-psychotic killer. For the first time since I arrived, I considered the possibility that I belonged there. Maybe I had killed my family, and I was sentenced to a terrifying prison in hell for my crimes.
No. My brain refused to accept that possibility. No matter how angry I’d been, I’d never hurt them. And hypothetically speaking, even if I hurt my parents and Livie, there was nothing in Hell or on Earth that would make me hurt my brother. Twinsies.
The ground gradually leveled out, and the darkness gave way to light. Ahead of us was a set of massive wooden doors flanked by massive torches. Symbols, images, and words were carved into the wood that was so old that it looked shiny and petrified.
She waited silently, attentively, almost as if in a trance, as we moved up to stand in front of the door. One image, out of possibly thousands, called to us. It was carved into a granite circle that appeared to seal the doors shut. On it, a hooded figure sat upon a simple, unadorned throne and watched us from beneath its cowl. No face or hands were visible, but I got a distinct impression that it didn’t matter. It was everything, and it was nothing.
I reached out my hand to touch it, but Mikael yanked me backward.
“Careful, sestra. Do not touch what you don’t understand. Unchecked power, use of misunderstood power. It always ends in tragedy.”
“Right. As if we can squeeze any more tragedy into my life this week,” I sneered. “Touching a stone can’t possibly make things worse.”
“Oh, trust me. It can get much, much worse.”
✽ ✽ ✽
She bristled. The tickling in my mind, the one that reminded me of Jude, let out a threatening growl.
Me? I reached out and touched the stone, marveling at the silky feel and detailed craftsmanship. The artist must have spent months chiseling the tiny lines that made the robe undulate in the pale light. I could see that the throne wasn’t truly plain: millions of words and symbols were compressed there to create the illusion of blackness.
“Jasper,” a sibilant voice whispered.
I spun around and saw nothing. Pitch black in every direction. It reminded me of plays where the protagonist delivers his or her monologue, standing alone under the spotlight. Everyone else was gone. The door was gone.
Pay attention.
“Hello?” I called, ever the idiot in a horror movie who gives up her location. “Is anyone out there?”
The voice wrapped around me more intimately than the phantoms’ touches. “As day falls into the night and the Vespers Hours begin, the Black Knights become my vessels. You, child, will be the finest of my Knights, but you must embrace the balance.”
“Huh?”
Smooth, Jasper.
The disembodied voice continued in an amused tone. “Fire creates and destroys. Its dominion is beyond the petty realms of Heaven and Hell.”
Yes. We are home.
“What do you want me to do?”
“You are apart from the cosmic balance. Your deeds will no longer be classified as good or bad, right, or wrong. Yours will neutralize and maintain the balance.”
Because I’d never been the subtlest person in the world, I repeated myself. “What do you want me to do?”
An exasperated ghost was a dangerous entity, and I had a feeling I’d depleted my reserve of goodwill.
“Liminality. Neutrality equilibrium. Sacred Geometry. Gnosticism. Read a book,” it said irritably.
“Sure,” I lied. “Crystal clear. Um, who are you?”
“The Black Knights are beyond judgment as their actions maintain the cosmic balance.”
“How do I determine who threatens the balance?”
The voice sighed, a chilling wind. “A gift to see you through the darkest of nights.”
Darkness overwhelmed me, and I was alone.
✽ ✽ ✽
“Jas,” my brother whined. “Get up.”
My eyes blinked several times before the world came into focus. I whirled around and gasped.
“Jude?” My heart stuttered as I looked at my brother. He wore his usual summer uniform of basketball shorts, a t-shirt with our high school’s logo, and a pair of trainers.
“Duh. We need to talk, and I haven’t played ball in a while.” He dribbled the basketball a few times before throwing it to me.
I caught the ball, dropped it immediately, and crossed my arms. “Where have you been? Do you know how badly I’ve needed your advice? Jude, I feel like I’m in a horrible nightmare and I can’t wake up.”
“It hasn’t exactly been easy to get a hold of you. Even I can’t get around certain rules here, sis. I had to wait for the right circumstances.”
“I’ve missed you.”
Jude’s lips trembled as we wrapped our arms around each other. “I’m so sorry, Jas. I didn’t want to leave you. I didn’t figure it out until it was too late, and then…”
“You’re here now. You can stay, right? We can see each other?”
He averted his gaze to somewhere above my head. “I’m not sure, but I don’t think I can do this often. If you’re in the in-between space, I think I can reach you here, but nowhere else.”
I frowned. “What do you mean, ‘the in-between’ space? Where am I?”
“Neither here nor there, not in the void, not anywhere.” Jude kiss
ed my forehead. “I don’t know what that means, to be honest. But you’re not dead. That’s all I care about. Do you know how you got here?”
“No. If we’re not anywhere and you’re dead, does this mean I’m dying? Would you tell me if I was?”
“Jasperilla, if you were dying, I’d be there with you the entire time.” Jude prowled the perimeter of the spotlight. “It doesn’t hurt, not after the actual death. It’s boring, though. Bright light, long tunnels, pearly gates, blah, blah, blah.”
“Really?”
Jude snorted. “No, not really. It hurt for a while, but then I felt like I was floating. There’s no bright light, no brighter than usual. We walked together, all of us. I thought we were going to heaven, but a giant dude in a cloak stopped us. Creepy as hell, Jas. No face, no hands. His name is–”
Jude’s eyes flew open as his back arched and he screamed in pain. He dropped to his knees.
“Jude! Jude, tell me what’s wrong.” I wrapped my arms around him as he writhed, his face contorted in pain. “Stop it! Stop hurting him!” I shrieked towards the sky, at whatever invisible force was doing that to him. “Jude, it’s going to be okay. Forget them. Forget everyone else. You have to get better, Jude.”
After several agonizing moments, his body slumped into me. “Jas?”
“Oh, thank God.”
“Jas, where are we? What are we doing here?”
“No. No, no, no, no, no. Jude, we were talking a few minutes ago about everything. How we’re in this in-between space.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Aren’t you supposed to be outside? Waiting for your ride to the rabbit hole?”
The realization that my brother’s memory of our time together had just been wiped away gutted me. From the way it seemed, Jude’s brain reset to shortly before he died.
He didn’t know he was dead, and I was still alive.
I tried to hide my panic with a smile. “Don’t sweat it. Twinsies dreams. We probably just connected.”
Jude relaxed visibly and moved off of his knees and into a cross-legged position. “Oh. That makes sense. So, what time are they supposed to show up? Did Mom give you any more information?”
Order of Vespers Page 7