by Rice, Anne
“You mean God hasn’t promised that we will know where He came from.”
“You know what?” he said, smiling. “I don’t think God knows. I think that’s the whole purpose of the physical universe. He thinks through watching the universe evolve, He’s going to find out. What He has set in motion, you see, is a giant Savage Garden, a giant experiment, to see if the end result produces beings like Himself. We are made in His image, all of us—He is anthropomorphic, without question, but again He is not material.”
“And when the light came, when you covered your eyes in Heaven, that was God.”
He nodded. “God, the Father, God, the Essence, Brahma, the Aten, the Good God, En Sof, Yahweh, God!”
“Then how can He be anthropomorphic?”
“His essence has a shape, just as does mine. We, His first creations, were made in His image. He told us so. He has two legs, two arms, a head. He made us invisible images of the same. And then set the universe into motion to explore the development of that shape through matter, do you see?”
“Not quite.”
“I believe God worked backwards from the blueprint of Himself. He created a physical universe whose laws would result in the evolution of creatures who resembled Him. They would be made of matter. Except for one striking and important difference. Oh, but then there were so many surprises. You know my opinion already. Your friend David hit upon it when he was a man. I think God’s plan went horribly wrong.”
“Yes, David did say that, that he thought angels felt God’s plan for Creation was all wrong.”
“Yes. I think He did it originally to find out what it would have been like had He been Matter. And I think He was looking for a clue as to how He got where He is. And why He is shaped like He is, which is shaped like me or you. In watching man evolve, He hopes to understand His own evolution, if such a thing in fact occurred. And whether this has worked or not to His satisfaction, well, only you can judge that for yourself.”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “But if He is spiritual and made of light, or made of nothing—then what gave Him the idea for matter in the first place?”
“Ah, now that is the cosmic mystery. In my opinion, His imagination created Matter, or foresaw it, or longed for it. And I think the longing for it was a most important aspect of His mind. You see, Lestat, if He Himself did originate in Matter … then all this is an experiment to see when Matter can evolve into God again.
“If He didn’t originate Matter, if He proceeded and it is something He imagined and desired and longed for, well, the effects upon Him are basically the same. He wanted Matter. He wasn’t satisfied without it. Or He wouldn’t have made it. It was no accident, I can assure it.
“But let me caution you, not all the angels agree on this interpretation, some feel the need for no interpretation, and some have completely different theories. This is my theory, and since I am the Devil, and have been for centuries, since I am the Adversary, the Prince of Darkness, the Ruler of the World of Men and of Hell, I think my opinion is worth stating. I think it’s worth believing in. So you have my article of faith.
“The design of the universe is immense, to use a feeble word, but the whole process of evolution was His calculated experiment, and we, the angels, were created long before it began.”
“What was it like before Matter began?”
“I can’t tell you. I know, but I don’t, strictly speaking, remember. The reason for this is simple: When Matter was created, so was Time. All angels began to exist not only in heavenly perfection with God but to witness and be drawn into Time.
“Now we can step out of it, and I can to some extent recall when there was no lure of Matter or Time; but I can’t really tell you what that early stage was like anymore. Matter and Time changed everything totally. They obliterated not only the pure state that preceded them, they upstaged it; they overshadowed it; they, how shall I say …?”
“Eclipsed it.”
“Exactly. Matter and Time eclipsed the Time before Time.”
“But can you remember being happy?”
“Interesting question. Dare I say this?” he asked himself as he continued to speculate. “Dare I say, I remember the longing, the incompleteness, more than I remember complete happiness? Dare I say there was less to understand?
“You cannot underestimate the effect upon us of the creation of the physical universe. Think for one moment, if you can, what Time means, and how miserable you might be without it. No, that’s not right. What I mean is, without Time you could not be conscious of yourself, either in terms of failure or achievement, or in terms of any motion backwards or forwards, or any effect.”
“I see it. Rather like the old people who’ve lost so much intelligence that they have no memory moment to moment. They’re vegetative, wide-eyed, but they are no longer human with the rest of the race because they have no sense of anything … themselves or anyone else.”
“A perfect analogy. Though let me assure you such aged and wounded individuals still have souls, which will at some point cease to be dependent upon their crippled brains.”
“Souls!” I said.
We walked slowly but steadily, and I tried not to be distracted by the greenery, and the flowers; but I have always been seduced by flowers; and here I saw flowers of a size which our world would surely find impractical and impossible to support. Yet these were species of trees I knew. This was the world as it had once been.
“Yes, you’re correct on that. Can you feel the warmth around you? This is a time of lovely evolutionary development on the planet. When men speak of Eden or Paradise, they ‘remember’ this time.”
“The Ice Age is yet to come.”
“The second Ice Age is coming. Definitely. And then the world will renew itself, and Eden will come again. All through the Ice Age, men and women will develop. But realize of course that even by this point, life as we know it had existed for millions of years!”
I stopped. I put my hands to my face. I tried to think it through again. (If you want to do this, just reread the last two pages.)
“But He knew what Matter was!” I said.
“No, I’m not sure He did,” said Memnoch. “He took that seed, that egg, that essence and He cast it in a form which became Matter! But I don’t know how truly He foresaw what that would mean. You see, that’s our big dispute. I don’t think He sees the consequences of His actions! I don’t think He pays attention! That’s what the big fight is about!”
“So He created Matter perhaps by discovering what it was as He did it.”
“Yes, Matter and energy, which are interchangeable as you know, yes, He created them, and I suspect that the key to Him lies within the word ‘energy,’ that if human anatomy ever reaches the point where angels and God can be satisfactorily explained in human language, energy will be the key.”
“So He was energy,” I said, “and in making the universe, He caused some of that energy to be changed into Matter.”
“Yes, and to create a circular interchange independent of himself. But of course nobody said all this to us at the beginning. He didn’t say it. I don’t think He knew it. We certainly didn’t know it. All we knew was that we were dazzled by His creations. We were absolutely astonished by the feel and taste and heat and solidity and gravitational pull of Matter in its battle with energy. We knew only what we saw.”
“Ah, and you saw the universe unfolding. You saw the Big Bang.”
“Use that term with skepticism. Yes, we saw the universe come into existence; we saw everything set into motion, as it were. And we were overawed! That’s why almost every early religion on earth celebrates the majesty, the grandeur, the greatness and genius of the Creator; why the earliest anthems ever put into words on Earth sing the glories of God. We were impressed, just as humans later would come to be impressed, and in our angelic minds, God was Almighty and Wondrous and Beyond Comprehension before man came into being.
“But let me remind you, especially as we walk through this magnif
icent garden, that we witnessed millions of explosions and chemical transformations, upheavals, all of which involved nonorganic molecules before ‘life’ as we call it ever came to exist.”
“The mountain ranges were here.”
“Yes.”
“And the rains?”
“Torrents upon torrents of rain.”
“Volcanos erupted.”
“Continuously. You can’t conceive of how enthralled we were. We watched the atmosphere thicken and develop, watching it change in composition.
“And then, and then, came what I will call for you the Thirteen Revelations of Physical Evolution. And by revelation, I mean what was revealed in the process to the angels, to those of us who Watched, to us.
“I could tell you in greater detail, take you inside every basic species of organism that ever thrived in this world. But you wouldn’t remember it. I’m going to tell you what you can remember so that you can make your decision while you’re still alive.”
“Am I alive?”
“Of course. Your soul has never suffered physical death; it’s never left the earth, except with me by special dispensation for this journey. You know you are alive. You’re Lestat de Lioncourt, even though your body has been mutated by the invasion of an alien and alchemic spirit, whose history and woes you have recorded yourself.”
“To come with you … to decide to follow you … I have to die then, don’t I?”
“Of course,” he said.
I found myself stopped still again, hands locked to the side of my head. I stared down at the grass underneath my boots. I sensed the swarm of insectile light gathered in the sun falling on us. I looked at the reflection of radiance and verdant forest in Memnoch’s eyes.
He lifted his hand very slowly, as if giving me full opportunity to move away from him, and then he laid his hand on my shoulder. I loved this sort of gesture, the respectful gesture. I tried so often to make this sort of gesture myself.
“You have the choice, remember? You can return to being exactly what you are now.”
I couldn’t answer. I knew what I was thinking. Immortal material earthbound, vampire. But I didn’t speak the words. How could anyone return from this? And again, I saw His face and heard His words. You would never be my adversary, would you?
“You are responding very well to what I tell you,” he said warmly. “I knew you would, for several reasons.”
“Why?” I asked. “Tell me why. I need a little reassurance. I’m too shattered by all my past weeping and stammering, though I have to confess, I’m not too interested in talking about myself.”
“What you are is part of what we are doing,” he said. We had come to an enormous spiderweb, suspended over our broad path by thick, shimmering threads. Respectfully, he ducked beneath it rather than destroy it, drawing his wings downward around him, and I followed his lead.
“You’re curious, that’s your virtue,” he said. “You want to know. This is what your ancient Marius said to you, that he, having survived thousands of years, or well, nearly … would answer your questions as a young vampiric creature, because your questions were truly being asked! You wanted to know. And this is what drew me to you also.
“Through all your insolence, you wanted to know! You have been horribly insulting to me and to God continuously, but then so is everyone in your time. That’s nothing unusual, except with you there was tremendous genuine curiosity and wonder behind it. You saw the Savage Garden, rather than simply assuming a role there. So this has to do with why I have picked you.”
“All right,” I said with a sigh. It made sense. Of course I remembered Marius revealing himself to me. I remembered him saying the very things to which Memnoch referred. And I knew, too, that my intense love of David, and of Dora, revolved around very similar traits in both beings: an inquisitiveness which was fearless and willing to take the consequence of the answers!
“God, my Dora, is she all right?”
“Ah, it’s that sort of thing which surprises me, the ease with which you can be distracted. Just when I think I’ve really astonished you and I have you locked in, you step back and demand to be answered on your own terms. It’s not a violation of your curiosity, but it is a means of controlling the inquiry, so to speak.”
“Are you telling me that I must, for the moment, forget about Dora?”
“I’ll go you one better. There is nothing for you to worry about. Your friends, Armand and David, have found Dora, and are looking out for her, without revealing themselves to her.”
He smiled reassuringly, and gave a little doubtful, maybe scolding, shake of the head.
“And,” he said, “you must remember your precious Dora has tremendous physical and mental resources of her own. You may well have fulfilled what Roger asked of you. Her belief in God set her apart from others years ago; now what you’ve shown her has only intensified her commitment to all that she believes. I don’t want to talk anymore about Dora. I want to go on describing Creation.”
“Yes, please.”
“Now, where were we? There was God; and we were with Him. We had anthropomorphic shapes but we didn’t call them that because we had never seen our shapes in material form. We knew our limbs, our heads, our faces, our forms, and a species of movement which is purely celestial, but which organizes all parts of us in concert, fluidly. But we knew nothing of Matter or material form. Then God created the Universe and Time.
“Well, we were astonished, and we were also enthralled! Absolutely enthralled.
“God said to us, ‘Watch this, because this will be beautiful and will exceed your conceptions and expectations, as it will Mine.’ ”
“God said this.”
“Yes, to me and the other angels. Watch. And if you go back to scripture in various forms, you will find that one of the earliest terms used for us, the angels, is the Watchers.”
“Oh, yes, in Enoch and in many Hebrew texts.”
“Right. And look to the other religions of the world, whose symbols and language are less familiar to you, and you will see a cosmology of similar beings, an early race of godlike creatures who looked over or preceded human beings. It’s all garbled, but in a way—it’s all there. We were the witnesses of God’s Creation. We preceded it, and therefore did not witness our own. But we were there when He made the stars!”
“Are you saying that these other religions, that they contain the same validity as the religion to which we are obviously referring? We are speaking of God and Our Lord as though we were European Catholics—”
“It’s all garbled, in countless texts throughout the world. There are texts which are irretrievable now which contained amazingly accurate information about cosmology; and there are texts that men know; and there are texts that have been forgotten but which can be rediscovered in time.”
“Ah, in time.”
“It’s all essentially the same story. But listen to my point of view on it and you will have no difficulty reconciling it with your own points of reference, and the symbology which speaks more clearly to you.”
“But the validity of other religions! You’re saying that the being I saw in Heaven wasn’t Christ.”
“I didn’t say that. As a matter of fact, I said that He was God Incarnate. Wait till we get to that point!”
We had come out of the forest and stood now on what seemed the edge of a veldt. For the first time I caught sight of the humans whose scent had been distracting me—a very distant band of scantily clothed nomads moving steadily through the grass. There must have been thirty of them, perhaps less.
“And the Ice Age is yet to come,” I repeated. I turned round and round, trying to absorb and memorize the details of the enormous trees. But even as I did so, I realized the forest had changed.
“But look carefully at the human beings,” he said. “Look.” He pointed. “What do you see?”
I narrowed my eyes and called upon my vampiric powers to observe more closely. “Men and women, who look very similar to those of today.
Yes, I would say this is Homo sapiens sapiens. I would say, they are our species.”
“Exactly. What do you notice about their faces?”
“That they have distinct expressions that seem entirely modern, at least readable to a modern mind. Some are frowning; some are talking; one or two seem deep in thought. The shaggy-haired man lagging behind, he seems unhappy. And the woman, the woman with the huge breasts—are you sure she can’t see us?”
“She can’t. She’s merely looking in this direction. What differentiates her from the men?”
“Well, her breasts, clearly, and the fact that she is beardless. The men have beards. Her hair is longer of course, and well, she’s pretty; she’s delicate of bone; she’s feminine. She isn’t carrying an infant, but the others are. She must be the youngest, or one who hasn’t given birth.”
He nodded.
It did seem that she could see us. She was narrowing her gaze as I did mine. Her face was longish, oval, what an archaeologist would call Cro-Magnon; there was nothing apelike about her, or about her kin. She wasn’t fair, however; her skin was dark golden, rather like that of the Semitic or Arab peoples, like His skin in Heaven Above. Her dark hair lifted exquisitely in the wind as she turned and moved forward.
“These people are all naked.”
Memnoch gave a short laugh.
We moved back into the forest; the veldt vanished. The air was thick and moist and fragrant around us.
Towering over us were immense conifers and ferns. Never had I seen ferns of this size, their monstrous fronds bigger by far than the blades of banana trees, and as for the conifers, I could only compare them to the great, barbaric redwoods of the western California forests, trees which have always made me feel alone and afraid.
He continued to lead us, oblivious to this swarming tropical jungle through which we made our way. Things slithered past us; there were muted roars in the distance. The earth itself was layered over with green growth, velvety, ruckled, and sometimes seemingly with living rocks!