by Rice, Anne
“Oh, very wicked, but what does it take to sustain life when life is bruised and burnt as badly as my life has been? For me it is this extravagant and slender ambition, and for it I abandon Amadeo whom I should rescue as soon as my strength is restored.”
There was a sound in the chapel. What was it? The sound of the wax of the last candle?
It seemed a voice was speaking to me soundlessly.
You cannot rescue Amadeo. You are the keeper of the Mother and the Father.
“Yes, I grow sleepy,” I whispered. I closed my eyes. “I know such things, I have always known them.”
You go on, you seek Raymond Gallant, you must remember. Look at his face again.
“Yes, the Talamasca,” I said. “And the castle called Lorwich in East Anglia. The place he called the Motherhouse. Yes. I remember both sides of the golden coin.”
I thought dreamily of that supper when he had come upon me so stealthily and stared at me with such innocent and inquisitive eyes.
I thought of the music and the way Amadeo smiled at Bianca as they danced together. I thought of everything.
And then in my hand I saw the golden coin and the engraved image of the castle, and I thought, Am I not dreaming? But it seemed that Raymond Gallant was talking to me, talking very distinctly:
“Listen to me, Marius, remember me, Marius. We know of her, Marius. We watch and we are always here.”
“Yes, go North,” I whispered.
And it seemed that the Queen of Silence said without a word that she was content.
28
As I look back now, I have no doubt that Akasha turned me away from the rescue of Amadeo, and as I consider all that I have revealed here I have no doubt of her intervention in my life at other periods.
Had I attempted to go South to Rome, I would have fallen into Santino’s hands and met with destruction. And what better lure was there than the promise that I might soon meet with Pandora?
Of course my encounter with Raymond Gallant was quite real, and the details of this were vivid within my mind, and Akasha no doubt subtracted these details by virtue of her immense power.
The description of Pandora which I had confided to Bianca was also quite real, and this too might have been known to the Queen had she opened her ears to listen to my distant prayers from Venice.
Whatever the case, from the night we arrived at the shrine I was set upon a course of recovery and of a search for Pandora.
If anyone had told me that both would take some two hundred years, I might have met with despair, but I did not know this. I knew only that I was safe within the shrine, and I had Akasha to protect me, and Bianca to content me.
For well over a year I drank from the fount of the Mother. And for six months of this time, I fed my powerful blood to Bianca.
During those nights, when I could not open the stone door, I saw myself grow more robust in appearance with each divine feast, and I spent the long hours talking in respectful whispers with Bianca.
We took to conserving the oil for the lamps, and the fine candles which I had stored behind the Divine Parents, for we had no inkling of how long it would be before I could open the door and take us to hunting in the distant Alpine towns or cities.
At last there came a night when it occurred to me most strongly to venture out, and I was clever enough to know that this thought had not come to me at random. It had been suggested to me by a series of images. I could open the door now. I could go out. And I could take Bianca with me.
As for my appearance to the mortal world, my skin was coal black, and heavily scarred in places as though from the stroking of a hot poker. But the face I saw in Bianca’s mirror was fully formed, with the serene expression that has always been so familiar to me. And my body was strong once more, and my hands of which I am so vain were a scholar’s hands with long deft fingers.
For another year, I could not dare to send to Raymond Gallant a letter.
Carrying Bianca with me to far-flung towns, I searched hastily and clumsily for the Evil Doer. As such creatures often run in packs, we would enjoy a gluttonous feast; and then I would take such clothes and gold as needed from the dead; and off we would go to the shrine well before daylight.
I think when I look back on it that ten years at least went by in this fashion. But time is so strange with us, how can I be certain?
What I remember was that a powerful bond existed between me and Bianca that seemed absolutely unshakable. As the years passed, she was as much my companion in silence as she had ever been in conversation.
We moved as one, without argument or consultation.
She was a proud and merciless hunter, dedicated to the majesty of Those Who Must Be Kept, and always drank from more than one human victim whenever possible. Indeed, there seemed no limit to the blood she could imbibe. She wanted strength, both from me and the Evil Doer whom she took with righteous coldness.
Riding the winds in my arms, she turned her eyes to the stars fearlessly. And often she spoke to me softly and easily of her mortal life in Florence, telling me the stories of her youth, and of how she had loved her brothers who had so admired Lorenzo the Magnificent. Yes, she had seen my beloved Botticelli many a time and told me in detail of paintings which I had not seen. She sang songs to me now and then which she composed herself. She spoke in sadness of the death of her brothers and how she had fallen into the power of her evil kinsmen.
I loved listening to her as much as I loved talking to her. Indeed, it was so fluid between us that I still wonder at it.
And though on many a morn, she combed out her lovely hair and replaited it with her ropes of tiny pearls, she never complained of our lot, and wore the cast-off tunics and cloaks of the men we slew as I did.
Now and then, slipping discreetly behind the King and Queen, she took from her precious bundle a gorgeous gown of silk and clothed herself with care in it, this to sleep in my arms, after I had covered her with warm compliments and kisses.
Never had I known such peace with Pandora. Never had I known such warm simplicity.
Yet it was Pandora who filled my mind—Pandora traveling the cities of the North, Pandora with her Asian companion.
At last there came an evening when, after a furious hunt, in exhaustion and satiation, Bianca asked to be returned early to the shrine, and I found myself in possession of a priceless three hours before dawn.
I also found myself in possession of a new measure of strength which I had perhaps unwittingly concealed from her.
To a distant Alpine monastery I went, one which had suffered much due to the recent rise of what scholars call the Protestant Reformation. Here I knew I would find frightened monks who would take my gold and assist me in sending a letter to England.
Entering the empty chapel first, I gathered up every good beeswax candle in the place, these to replenish those of the shrine, and I put all of the candles into a sack which I had brought with me.
I then went to the scriptorium where I found an old monk who was writing very fast by his single candle.
He looked up as soon as he found me standing in his presence.
“Yes,” I said at once, speaking his German dialect. “I am a strange man come to you in a strange way, but believe me when I say that I am not evil.”
He was gray-haired, tonsured, and wore brown robes, and he was a bit cold in the empty scriptorium. He was utterly fearless as he gazed at me.
But I told myself that I had never looked more human. My skin was as black as that of a Moor and I wore the rather drab gray garments which I had taken from some doomed miscreant.
Now as he continued to stare, quite obviously not in any mood to sound a general alarm, I did my old trick of placing before him a purse of gold coins for the good of the monastery which needed it badly.
“I must write a letter,” I said, “and see that it reaches a place in England.”
“A Catholic place?” he asked as he looked at me, his gray eyebrows thick and arched as he raised them.
<
br /> “I should think so,” I said with a shrug. Of course I couldn’t describe to him the secular nature of the Talamasca.
“Then think again,” he said. “For England is no longer Catholic.”
“What on earth do you mean?” I asked. “Surely the Reformation has not reached such a place as England.”
He laughed. “No, not the Reformation precisely,” he said. “Rather the vanity of a King who would divorce his Spanish Catholic wife, and who has denied the power of the Pope to rule against him.”
I was so dejected that I sat down on a nearby bench though I’d been given no invitation to do it.
“What are you?” asked the old monk. He laid down his quill pen. He stared at me in the most thoughtful manner.
“It’s no matter,” I said wearily. “Do you think there’s no chance that a letter from here could reach a castle called Lorwich in East Anglia?”
“I don’t know,” said the monk. “It might well happen. For there are some who oppose King Henry VIII and others who do not. But in general he has destroyed the monasteries of England. And so any letter you write from me cannot go to one of them, only directly to the castle. And how is that to happen? We have to think on it. I can always attempt it.”
“Yes, please, let us attempt it.”
“But first, tell me what you are,” he asked again. “I won’t write the letter for you unless you do so. Also I want to know why you stole all the good candles in the chapel and left the bad ones.”
“You know I did this?” I asked. I was becoming extremely agitated. I thought I had been silent as a mouse.
“I’m not an ordinary man,” he said. “I hear things and see things that people don’t. I know you’re not human. What are you?”
“I can’t tell you,” I said. “Tell me what you think I am. Tell me if you can find any true evil in my heart. Tell me what you see in me.”
He gazed at me for a long time. His eyes were deeply gray, and as I looked at his elderly face I could easily reconstruct the young man he had been, rather resolute, though his personal strength of character was far greater now even though he suffered human infirmity.
At last he turned away and looked at his candle as though he had completed his examination of me.
“I am a reader of strange books,” he said in a hushed but clear voice. “I have studied some of those texts which have come out of Italy pertaining to magic and astrology and things which are often called forbidden.”
My pulse quickened. This seemed extraordinary good fortune. I did not interrupt.
“I have a belief that there are angels cast out of Heaven,” he said, “and that they do not know what they are any longer. They wander in a state of confusion. You seem one of those creatures, though if I am right, you will not be able to confirm it.”
I was so struck by the curiosity of this concept that I could say nothing. At last I had to answer.
“No, I’m not such. I know it for certain. But I wish that I were. Let me confide in you one terrible secret.”
“Very well,” he said. “You may go to Confession to me if you like, for I am an ordained priest, not simply a monk, but I doubt I shall be able to give you Absolution.”
“This is my secret. I have existed since the time when Christ walked the Earth though I never knew of him.”
He considered this calmly for a long time, looking into my eyes and then away to his candle, as if this were a little ritual with him. Then he spoke:
“I don’t really believe you,” he said. “But you are a mystifying being, with your black skin and blue eyes, with your blond hair, and with your gold which you so generously put before me. I’ll take it, of course. We need it.”
I smiled. I loved him. Of course I wouldn’t tell him such a thing. What would it mean to him?
“All right,” he said, “I’ll write your letter for you.”
“I can write it myself,” I said, “if only you give me the parchment and the pen. I need for you to send it, and establish this place for the receipt of an answer to it. It’s the answer which is so important.”
He obeyed me at once, and I turned to the task, gladly accepting the quill from him. I knew he was watching me as I wrote but it didn’t matter.
Raymond Gallant,
I have suffered a dreadful catastrophe, following upon the very night which I met with you and talked to you. My palazzo in Venice was destroyed by fire, and I myself injured beyond my own imagining. Please be assured that this was not the work of mortal hands, and some night should we meet I shall most willingly explain to you what happened. In fact, it would give me great satisfaction to describe to you in detail the identity of the one who sent his emissaries to destroy me. As for now, I am far too weakened to attempt vengeance either in words or actions.
I am also too weakened to journey to Lorwich in East Anglia, and thanks to forces which I cannot describe I do have shelter similar to that which you offered me.
But I beg you to tell me if you have had any recent intelligence of my Pandora. I beg you to tell me if she has made herself known to you. I beg you to tell me if you can help me to reach her by letter.
Marius.
Having finished the letter, I gave it over to the priest who promptly added the proper address of the monastery, folded the parchment and sealed it.
We sat in silence for a long moment.
“How shall I find you,” he asked, “when an answer reaches here?”
“I’ll know,” I said, “as you knew when I took the candles. Forgive me for taking them. I should have gone into a city and bought them from a proper merchant. But I have become such a traveler of the sleepy night. I do things far too much at random.”
“So I can see,” he answered, “for though you began with me in German, you are now speaking Latin in which you wrote your letter. Oh, don’t be angry. I didn’t read a single word, but I knew it was Latin. Perfect Latin. A Latin such as no one speaks today.”
“Is my gold recompense enough?” I asked. I rose from the bench. It was now time for me to be off.
“Oh, yes, and I look forward to your return. I’ll see the letter is sent tomorrow. If the Lord of Lorwich in East Anglia has sworn his allegiance to Henry VIII, you’ll no doubt have your answer.”
I was off so swiftly that to my new friend, it no doubt seemed that I had disappeared.
And as I returned to the shrine, I observed for the first time the beginnings of a human settlement all too close to us.
Of course we were concealed in a tiny valley high upon an ominous cliff. Nevertheless, a small group of huts had caught my eye far below at the foot of the cliff, and I knew what was going to happen.
When I entered the shrine I found Bianca sleeping. No question came from her as to where I had been, and I realized the lengths I had gone to avoid her knowledge of my letter.
I wondered if I might reach England were I to travel the skies alone. But what would I say to her? I had never left her alone and it seemed wrong ever to do so.
Little less than a year went by during which time I passed nightly within hearing distance of the priest to whom I had entrusted my letter.
By this time, Bianca and I had frequently hunted the streets of small Alpine cities in one guise, while buying from their merchants in another.
Now and then we rented rooms for ourselves so that we might enjoy common things, but we were far too fearful to remain anywhere but in the shrine at morning.
All the while, I continued to approach the Queen at intervals. How I chose my moments, I do not know. Perhaps she spoke to me. All I can avow is that I knew when I might drink from her and I did it, and always there came the rapid healing afterwards, the renewal of vigor, and the desire to share my replenished gifts with Bianca.
At last there came a night, when having left a weary Bianca in the shrine once more, I came near to the Alpine monastery and saw my monk standing in the garden with his arms out to the sky in a gesture of such romance and piety that I almost wept to see it
.
Softly, without a sound, I entered the cloister behind him.
At once he turned to face me, as if his powers were as great as mine. The wind swept his full brown robes as he came towards me.
“Marius,” he said in a whisper. He gestured to me to be quiet, and led me into the scriptorium.
When I saw the thickness of the letter he drew from his desk I was astonished. That it was open, that the seal was broken, gave me pause.
I looked at him.
“Yes, I read it,” he said. “Did you think I would give it to you without doing so?”
I couldn’t waste any more time. I had to read what was inside the letter. I sat down and unfolded the pages immediately.
Marius,
Let these words not move you to anger or to hasty decision. What I know of Pandora is as follows. She has been seen by those of us who are knowledgeable in such things in the cities of Nuremberg, Vienna, Prague and Gutenberg. She travels in Poland. She travels in Bavaria.
She and her companion are most clever, seldom disturbing the human population through which they move, but from time to time they set foot in the royal courts of certain kingdoms. It is believed by those who have seen them that they take some delight in danger.
Our archives are filled with accounts of a black carriage that travels by day, comporting within two huge enameled chests in which these creatures are presumed to sleep, protected by a small garrison of pale-skinned human guards who are secretive, ruthless and devoted.
Even the most benign or clever approach to these human guards is followed by certain death as some of our members have learnt for themselves when seeking to penetrate the mystery of these dark travelers.
It is the judgment of some among us here that the guards have received a small portion of the power so generously enjoyed by their master and mistress, thus binding them irrevocably to Pandora and her companion.