by Shana Burton
“I just feel like it makes me weak to stay,” admitted Lawson. “What kind of woman stays with a man who would betray her this way?”
Kina spoke sincerely. “He deserves another chance, Lawson. I know you don’t think so, but God gives us grace and mercy all the time, whether we deserve it or not.”
“So you expect me to just welcome him back with opened arms and no consequences for what he did? As much as I love my husband, I would’ve understood if he didn’t take me back.”
“He is suffering the consequences,” explained Sullivan. “There’s no worse feeling in the world than losing your family and the person you love. I promise you Garrett’s feeling like crap right now. How much more suffering do you want him to have?”
“Enough that he doesn’t cheat again,” argued Lawson.
“It’s not your place to punish him,” Angel reminded her. “It’s the Lord’s. The way I see it, if God can forgive Garrett, surely you can too, especially considering that you’ve hurt him just as much as he hurt you.”
“I hear what you’re saying, but what kind of example does that set for Namon?” inquired Lawson. “Do I want him to be the kind of husband and father who’d go out and cheat on his wife or marry the kind of woman who’d accept being disrespected that way?”
“It could also be an example of being like Christ and showing mercy and forgiveness. It’ll mean more to Namon to know that he can be redeemed than to feel like he’s doomed forever if he misses the mark sometimes,” said Kina, reflecting on her own situation and hoping to be extended that same kind of forgiveness.
Lawson sighed. “I just don’t know, y’all. I love Garrett, but I just don’t know how I’ll be able to trust him after this.”
“Through faith and prayer,” answered Angel. “The same way he was able to trust you and give you another chance after you hurt him.”
“That’s the thing—we keep hurting each other time and time again. At what point do you say enough is enough and walk away? At what point do you finally admit that it’s over?”
Chapter 43
“God has never asked us to help Him do His job. It’s when we decide to help Him out that we get into trouble.”
—Angel King
Kina unlocked the door to her apartment expecting to find everything the way she left it. Instead, she opened the door to new furniture she didn’t recognize and her friends’ smiling faces.
“Surprise!” they exclaimed as soon as Kina opened the door.
Kina grabbed her chest, caught completely off guard. “What’s all this?”
“What does it look like, silly?” teased Sullivan. “Happy birthday!”
“No, I mean all this!” Kina gestured toward the new living-room suite. She was beyond stunned to see her worn, borrowed, and hand-me-down furniture replaced by a brand-new sectional, entertainment unit, a flat-screen television, and coffee table. “Is this for me?”
“Yes, Kina,” replied Sullivan. “Don’t you like it?”
“Of course, but I can’t accept this.” She shook her head. “It’s too much. I appreciate the effort, but it’s got to go back. You know I can’t afford all this.”
“Kina, relax and enjoy it,” said Lawson. “It’s all paid for. The only thing it’ll cost you is a great big smile.”
“This is so nice,” said Kina, looking around at her newly furnished apartment. “Y’all didn’t have to do this for me.”
“Obviously, we didn’t,” replied Lawson. “Miss Moneybags over here did most of it.” She picked up a crystal bowl, which was the centerpiece of Kina’s new coffee table. “Reggie bought this, though, and sends her love. Happy birthday, cuz!”
Kina hugged her. “I love it! Please tell Reggie thanks for me.” She released Lawson and turned to Sullivan. “I can’t believe you did all this for me. Why?”
“Aside from the fact that your old furniture bordered on hideous, you saved my husband’s life, Kina. This is the least I could do to thank you.”
Kina shook her head, overcome with guilt. “I wish you would stop saying that, Sullivan. I didn’t save him, God did. Believe me . . . I don’t deserve any of the credit.”
Sullivan put her arm around Kina. “If nothing else, you deserve credit for being such a good friend to me. Kina, I know I probably don’t say it enough, but I love you. You’re my family. I know keeping this secret about the baby and Vaughn has been hard on all of you, but I know it’s been the hardest on you, Kina, since you work with Charles and have to see him every day. I know how much you respect and admire him, so I especially appreciate that you’ve let all that take a backseat to your loyalty to me.”
Kina couldn’t receive the adulation. “This is just too much . . .”
“Kina, you have earned all of this,” insisted Lawson. “You’ve been through so much, but you never let it break your spirit and change who you are. No matter how much we all fight with each other, you’re always the one who brings us back together and who keeps the peace and reminds us of how much we all love one another. You’ve been so selfless. You’re constantly putting other people’s needs ahead of your own, whether it’s Kenny’s or the church’s or your friends’ needs. It’s time someone did something for you for a change.”
“Sullivan, this is all very generous, and I thank all you for your kind words and faith in me, but I can’t accept this.”
“Kina, stop being magnanimous and let us bless you, okay?” teased Sullivan.
Kina was adamant. “Sullivan, I can’t keep this.”
“I’m not taking it back!”
“Fine . . . I’ll just donate it to the church or something.”
“You will do no such thing!” objected Angel. “Kina, learn how to let other people help you. You’re not in this by yourself. We didn’t do this because we had to or because we felt sorry for you. We did this because we love you and wanted to show you how we appreciate you, especially Sullivan.
“And I’m going to keep on spoiling you whether you like it or not, so get used to it!” demanded Sullivan with a smile. “As soon as Charles gets back on his feet, expect him to be just as kind.”
Kina dissolved into tears.
Angel rubbed her back. “Why are you crying, honey? Charles is going to be fine. Your prayers, love, and support are part of what’s getting him through this.”
“He’s never going to forgive me,” sobbed Kina.
“Forgive you for what?” asked Sullivan, confused.
“The stroke—all of it! It’s my fault,” sobbed Kina.
“Are you talking about the food you made for him? One helping of soul food didn’t do this to Charles. This was the result of years of anniversary dinners, fish fries, and church picnics where fried chicken was as much a part of the scenery as checkered blankets. The doctors and I have been trying to get Charles to take better care of himself for years. Please don’t blame yourself.”
“I know all that, but the doctor also said this could’ve been brought on by stress.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t have anything to do with you. If anybody is the cause of stress in Charles’s life, it’s me.”
Kina shook her head. “Not that day. He was eager to get home. He couldn’t wait to see you.”
Sullivan smiled. “That’s sweet of you to say, Kina.”
“I’m not just saying it, Sullivan. He wanted to go home to you. He loves you.”
“I know. I love him too.”
Lawson sensed that something was off. “Kina, where are you going with all this?”
Kina covered her face and cried into her hands. “I can’t keep this secret anymore.”
Angel draped her arm around Kina. “What are you talking about? What secret?”
“Kina, did something happen that day you didn’t tell us about?” asked Lawson.
Kina nodded. “It’s my fault! It’s all my fault!”
Lawson peeled back Kina’s hands, revealing a face that was beet red and wet with tears. “Sweetie, what’s going on? This is obviousl
y eating you up inside.”
“It is. It has been ever since Pastor’s stroke,” Kina admitted.
Lawson held her cousin’s hand. “Talk to us. What’s going on?”
Kina closed her eyes to gather her thoughts. “I don’t even know how to tell you this.”
“Just say it,” persisted Sullivan, now both curious and worried.
Kina inhaled, her eyes fell downcast. “I didn’t tell you or the doctors everything that happened that day.”
Angel wrinkled her brow. “What did you leave out?”
“The part I said about coming to Charles’s office to bring him dinner was true. I did do that, but I didn’t just drop the plate off and leave like I said.”
The tone in Sullivan’s voice changed. “What did you do?”
“Something I’ll regret for the rest of my life . . .” She looked up at Sullivan. “I told Charles I love him.”
Sullivan shrugged her shoulders. “Charles knows you love him. Why would that cause a stroke?”
“I wasn’t talking about agape love. I meant that I was in love with him.” Kina dropped her head. “Then I kissed him.”
Sullivan sprang up. “What?”
Kina continued. “I told him I was the woman he was supposed to marry, the one God wanted him to be with.”
Lawson grimaced. “Kina, why would you do something like that? How could you even think that?”
“I was so confused about Joan and dealing with E’Bell’s death and being alone. I convinced myself that Charles could be the one to rescue me from all that.”
Angel groaned. “Kina, this is—”
Sullivan broke in. “She’s not telling us everything. I know Charles. Kina isn’t the first lonely, pathetic, underhanded woman to come on to him. He’s used to dealing with that, so that wouldn’t have been stressful enough to trigger a stroke.” Sullivan’s eyes morphed into icy slits. “Kina, what else did you do?”
Kina paused before going on. “He told me that he loved Sullivan and that he’d never leave her. I couldn’t handle it, I just couldn’t take another rejection. I felt like you didn’t deserve him, Sullivan, and that he would’ve been better off with me. He was just too blinded by love to see it.”
“So what did you do?” repeated Sullivan.
“I told him,” squeaked Kina, barely audible.
Sullivan placed her hands on her hips. “Told him what?”
Kina took a deep breath. “I told him about Vaughn and the baby. I told him that you were pregnant and that you’d been making a fool out of him all this time. I told him you didn’t love him, that you only wanted his money. I said that you were going to pass the baby off as his—”
Without warning, Sullivan swooped down and slapped Kina across the face with full force. “How could you do that? What kind of monster are you?” screamed Sullivan.
Lawson rushed to Kina’s side. Angel winced. “Sully, calm down. This isn’t the right way to handle this.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Sullivan replied sarcastically. “What’s the right way to deal with this, Angel?”
“Not by hitting on my cousin,” spoke up Lawson. “She’s had to deal with that enough as it is.”
Kina stood up, hold her stinging cheek. “Sullivan, I know you hate me right now, but I couldn’t keep the truth from you anymore.”
Sullivan glared at her. “You need to get out of my face before I do more than just slap you,” threatened Sullivan in an even, acidic tone.
Kina tried again. “Sullivan, we can get past this if you just try to understand where I was coming from and forgive me.”
Sullivan stood akimbo. “Forgive you? You want me to understand you? Are you freakin’ kidding me, Kina? Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”
“I wasn’t thinking clearly,” Kina tried to explain. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re about to be real sorry,” threatened Sullivan and lunged toward Kina, locking her hands around Kina’s throat. She wrestled Kina to the ground.
“Sullivan, you’re hurting her!” cried Angel. Kina was practically powerless against Sullivan’s rage and years of street fighting.
Lawson tried to wedge in between them. “I believe that’s the whole idea!”
“Think about your baby, Sullivan! Think about little Christian,” pleaded Angel.
Upon hearing that, Sullivan eased her grip on Kina, her chest heaving. “You better be glad I’m pregnant. Otherwise, I would’ve killed you with my bare hands!”
“Sullivan, I’m so sorry,” wept Kina. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”
Sullivan clutched her stomach as if to reassure the baby that everything was okay. “From this point on, Kina, we’re done. Don’t talk to me again, don’t even look at me. This friendship is over.”
“Hold up, Sully!” butt in Lawson. “Are you seriously trying to blame Kina for this?”
“Yes, Lawson! Kina and her big mouth gave my husband a stroke. You’re darn right I blame her for this!”
“No, your lies and infidelity are what gave your husband a stroke!” maintained Lawson. “This was going to come out one way or another, Sullivan. We’ve been telling you that all along.”
“Kina had no right to say anything, especially since she did it out of malice and after a failed attempt to seduce my husband!”
“Granted, she was dead wrong for that,” conceded Lawson. “But we all know that Kina hasn’t been herself lately. Look at everything she’s gone through these past couple of years.”
Kina chimed in. “Sullivan, I never should’ve gone after Charles. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Is she talking to me?” Sullivan asked looking around the room, “Because I could’ve sworn I told all man-stealing, wannabe, jealous witches to stop talking to me!”
“Was that really called for, Sully?” asked Lawson with disdain.
Kina took another stab at explaining herself. “Sullivan—”
Sullivan flung up her right hand. “I don’t want to hear it, Kina!”
“Well, you’re gon’ hear it!” demanded Lawson. “We’re not just friends, Sully. We’re sisters, all of us! Family doesn’t turn its back on family.”
Sullivan was dumbfounded. “You expect me to forgive her?”
“Yes, just like the Lord and Charles have forgiven you over and over again.”
“My husband could have died, Lawson.”
“But he didn’t. Frankly, there wouldn’t have been anything to tell him if you hadn’t created this whole mess.” Lawson turned to Angel. “Take Kina in the back and get her cleaned up so I can deal with Sullivan.”
Both Angel and Kina obeyed. Neither was in a hurry to be on the losing end of Sullivan’s temper.
Lawson turned her attention back to Sullivan. “You know you have to hear her out, right?”
Sullivan pouted. “I don’t have to do anything.”
“Kina is my cousin, and you’re my best friend. I’m not about to take sides in this, neither is Angel. You and Kina are just going to have to find a way to work this out.”
“I didn’t see you in a hurry to work things out with Garrett or the tramp who seduced him,” retorted Sullivan. “The minute you tell her that it was okay to sleep with your husband will be the minute I tell Kina it’s okay to try to sleep with mine!”
In Kina’s bedroom, Angel pressed an ice pack against Kina’s busted lip to prevent more swelling. “Kina, I love you, and I know you’ve been to hell and back over the past couple of years. I think we all underestimated the toll all that took on you. Even with all that, though, I still can’t understand why you’d want to do that to Sullivan. You’re not a scheming, vindictive person, how could you do that to one of your best friends? We all know that Sullivan can be a drama queen, but something had to drive you to that point where you’d want to destroy her life.”
“I wasn’t trying to hurt her, honest, Angel. I’ve just been in such a dark place for so long. I thought that once E’Bell was gone, I’d have this wonderful
life with my son and my new career.” She shook her head. “Nothing turned out the way I thought it would. I’ve been so lonely and confused that most of the time I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. I was just tired of feeling rejected and alone, and the pastor’s been so good to me . . .”
“I’m sure he has, but that’s because he’s a good man, not because he’s in love with you. As much as she infuriates him—and us—Charles is crazy about his wife. Maybe that makes him just plain crazy, but he loves her.”
“I know that now. Heck, I knew it then. I just can’t stand the way she treats him. He deserves better.”
“That’s between him and Sully. We may never understand it, but I do believe that she loves him, Kina. I’ve watched her take care of him. She loves that baby too.”
“She’s going to hurt him again, and we all know that. I just couldn’t bear to see it happen again.”
“God would’ve revealed to Charles what He wanted him to know. He’s never asked us to help Him do His job. It’s when we decide to help Him out that we get into trouble.”
Kina began bawling. “Sullivan is never going to forgive me, is she?”
“Never say never,” cautioned Angel before being interrupted by a knock at the door. Lawson peeked inside with Sullivan in tow.
“Can we come in?” ventured Lawson. Angel nodded.
“Sullivan, I’m so sorry,” blabbed Kina. “I never should’ve tried to interfere in your marriage. I’m sorry I betrayed your trust and went after Charles. I wasn’t a friend to you and wasn’t much of a Christian either. I can’t tell you how awful I feel about the whole thing. I love you, and I just want you to forgive me.”
Sullivan cleared her throat and crossed her arms in front of her. “You know I’m not used to being on this side of the fence. I’m usually the one who messed up and has to ask everyone else for forgiveness. I want you to know that I love you too, Kina, and I forgive you.”
“Thank you, Sully! You’re a good friend.” In elation, Kina reached out to hug Sullivan.
Sullivan patted her on the back, stopping short of a full embrace, and gently pushed her away. “Like I said, I forgive you, but . . .”