“Jett,” I plead, “I only withheld the truth because I love you.”
He spits in my face. “If you loved me, you would have told me about my daughter.” He leaves.
I fall to my knees crying. What in the world have I done?
29
My phone rings. It’s Herman. I’m so relieved, because I really need a shoulder to cry on after what just happened.
“Oh, Herman, I just told Jett and—”
“Charity…stop,” he croaks.
“Herman, what’s wrong? You sound terrible.”
“I’m in the hospital.”
“What for?”
“Someone beat me up and…raped me.”
“When did this happen?” I ask.
“Last night. I was coming home from the gym when two guys attacked me.”
“Look. Which hospital are you in?”
“Saint Francis in Germantown.”
“I’ll be right there.”
I leave a note for the twins and rush out to the hospital. I’ll tell them about their father later.
I arrive twenty-five minutes later and stop at the information desk to find out where Herman is. The receptionist directs me toward a block of elevators that will take me to the fifth floor. I have no idea what kind of advice I can give Herman. I just pray that his injuries aren’t too serious and he can get back on his feet soon.
With trepidation, I enter the semi-darkened room. A few steps in, I spot Herman. He’s turned away from me, facing the window. I know the back of his hairline as well as I know Jett’s. I can’t tell if he’s sleeping.
“Herman?”
He turns over and faces me. My hand immediately goes up to my mouth. Herman’s handsome face is nearly double its normal size. He has a bandage on his head and a cast on his left leg. I see cards, flowers, and a large teddy bear sitting on the side table. Herman tries to muster a smile, but I can tell that it hurts him to do so.
I pull up a chair and take his hands in mine. “Damn, I hadn’t expected this. Did they give you painkillers? I know you must be in a lot of pain.”
“Yes. They’ve got me doped up pretty good.” He turns his head from side to side and swallows hard. “I’m kinda tired, though. I’ve had a lot of visitors today. First Doug, my neighbor stopped by; then Larry from the flight training school; my brother Seymour; Senita, the secretary from the funeral home; and now you. So, if I fall asleep on you, don’t take it personal.”
I grip his hands tighter. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“I’ll tell you what I remember.” He swallows hard again.
“Can I get you some water?”
“Please.”
I move to the rollaway cart and pour Herman a glass of ice water from the gold plastic pitcher. I bring the glass and straw to his lips and wait for him to take a few swallows. He shakes his head, signaling that he’s finished. “Thanks.”
I put the pitcher and glass back and once again take Herman’s hands in mine. “Take your time.”
“I was walking outside Celebrity Fitness Gym on Park Avenue, carrying my bag and heading toward my car. There was a van and an SUV parked on either side of me. I didn’t think anything of it until I pushed my unlock button. Then everything moved fast. A man jumped out of the van and another man hopped out of the SUV. The short guy grabbed me and started beating me in the head with a baseball bat. Then I felt the taller dude kicking me in my abdomen and buttocks. I begged them to stop, but they kept right on.”
“Did you recognize either of them?”
“Yeah. They live in Hickory Hill. Their sister just died, and the family wanted the body cremated. The sister’s two brothers, the ones who attacked me, didn’t want her cremated. They wanted a regular funeral. They tried to bribe me with money to embalm her. They said when their mother saw how pretty she looked, she wouldn’t want her cremated. I told them that I couldn’t do it. They threatened to take me down, but I didn’t believe them.” He closes his eyes for a few seconds.
“And the rape?”
“I don’t really remember it. I was passed out from the beatings. When I woke up, my pants were down to my ankles and I was bleeding from my rear end. I managed to get to my cell phone and call the police.”
“So, it’s only a matter of time before they’re behind bars?”
“No. I’m not going to press charges.”
“Why not?”
“Because they’ll get out on bail, find me, and kick my ass again. Not filing charges will end it.”
“How do you know? Did the girl get cremated?”
“Yes.”
“Damn.”
“It’s okay, Charity. I decided to sign up for karate lessons. As soon as my leg heals, I’m going to get started.”
“Karate classes? What are you going to do if they have a gun?” I stand up and start pacing the floor.
“That won’t happen.”
“I think you need to buy a gun.”
“I’m scared of guns. Besides, I could never shoot anyone.”
“Well, you’re nothing like Jett. He’s got an arsenal at the house. He’ll shoot anybody that attempts to come on our property without permission.”
“I’m not like Jett. Sorry.” He closes his eyes again. “Speaking of Jett, have you told him yet?”
I fight back tears. “Yes.”
“From the look on your face, I take it it didn’t go too well.”
“He left.” Now I can’t stop the tears from falling.
Herman reaches out and wipes the tears from my cheeks. “I’m sorry. But don’t worry. I’m here for you. Everything’s going to be all right.”
We sit quietly together for another hour. Each of us is hurting badly, him physically and me emotionally, so we don’t talk much. We hold each other’s hands and murmur soothing words. I thank God for a friend like Herman.
Outside in my car after I say good-bye to Herman, I lay my head against the steering wheel and cry until there are no more tears. A year ago, I might not have had a book contract, but at least my husband and I were together. Now I’m a bestseller, but Jett is gone and my sister is suing me. My life is in shambles, and I don’t know who’s to blame more, me or my hateful sister. If she’d never told me about April, none of this would have happened.
30
Even though Jett told me not to call, I call him anyway. He won’t answer. I think about calling and calling until he finally answers, but figure that I’ll probably be making a fool out of myself.
I check my watch. It’s fifteen before eleven and the twins aren’t home yet. I fix myself a cup of tea and wait in the family room. Around 11:45, I hear the garage door go up. A few minutes later, I hear the twins coming through the back door.
I call out, “Javed? Jamone? Come here. I need to talk with you two.” The television is off and I’ve got jazz playing on the radio.
“What up, Mom?” Javed says. He’s dressed in baggy jeans and a white T. Jamone has on black jeans and a black Sean Jean shirt. “Where’s Pops? I didn’t see his car in the garage.”
“You two sit down. I’ve got something to tell you.” I stand up and without thinking begin to pace. “First off, your dad left.” Jamone starts to say something. I stop him with a wave of my hand. “We had a big argument about April. I finally told him the truth. He was furious at me for knowing about her so long and not telling him the moment I found out.”
Jamone spoke to Javed from the side of his mouth like Bogart. “I’m not surprised.”
I keep on pacing. “I tried to stop him from leaving and reason with him, but he wouldn’t listen.” Tears flood my eyes. “I know this is all my fault. I’m sorry, you guys. I know I let you two down.”
Jamone comes to my rescue. “Javed and I will talk to Pops. Don’t you worry about nothin’. Pops will be back home before you know it.”
Javed puts his arm around my shoulder. “Jamone is right. We’ll get everything straightened out with Pops. He’s not perfect and he shouldn’t expect yo
u to be.” Javed turns off the radio. “Now, it’s way past your bedtime. You need to get some rest.”
I thank God for my sons’ maturity. They both know that this is my fault, but love me too much to tell me the truth. Tears wobble down my cheeks. I’m so embarrassed I feel like crawling into a corner and crying for my mother.
“Boys, I’m sorry.” I feel my heart punching against my chest.
“We know. We know. Now, let’s get you to bed,” Javed says. The twins walk me to my bedroom door. They give me a kiss on the cheek.
“You know, Jett and I could go to California together and meet April.” I smile to myself. The more I think about the idea, the more I like it. Yes, that’s what’s going to happen. Jett and I will meet April together.
For the next few days, I alternate visiting Herman in the hospital with working on my novel, only getting two to three hours of sleep each night. I need to keep my mind trained on something other than Jett. Otherwise, I’ll lose my mind. The twins were unsuccessful in getting their dad to come back home. I no longer fantasize about us going together to visit April. I now understand that this won’t be fixed easily, if at all.
31
Jamone and Javed talk to their father every day. Weeks have passed and still we’ve had no communication. Sure, I’ve cried myself to sleep on several occasions, but I try not to cry. Crying makes me feel weak. I need to be strong.
The twins’ upcoming graduation gives me a reason to smile. I didn’t think that I would have to go to the festivities alone, but I try to put on a cheerful front for my sons. They know I’m hurting, but there’s not much that they can do.
The twins and I shop at The New York Suit Exchange for suits to wear to their graduation. The salesman does his best to try to get the twins to buy matching suits. They flat out tell him no. It takes some time, but they settle on two tailored suits, one charcoal gray and the other one olive green. That done, we go to the tuxedo rental store and they both try on tuxedos. It takes nearly two hours before both of them are satisfied. The prom is this weekend, and the graduation is in two weeks.
I want to host a graduation party for the twins, but they refuse. They tell me that there are already too many parties going on, and I should save my money to help decorate their apartment.
They found an apartment five blocks from the University of Memphis, where they’ll be attending school this fall. I’m so glad that Javed changed his mind about not going to college. They’re so excited about getting their own place that they’re moving in the first of June instead of waiting until August.
It took the twins two hard-fought days to convince Jett to let them stay out all night for their prom. Jamone broke up with Holly and Javed has put things on hold with his African girlfriend, so both of the boys are going out solo. Each is driving their own cars and not renting Bentleys and BMWs like some of their friends are.
On the night of the prom, I take their pictures and give them a hundred dollars apiece. That night, I don’t sleep well. I kept waking up, checking the garage to see what time the boys arrive home.
Jamone comes home around ten-thirty, and Javed doesn’t lumber through the back door until noon.
I finally see Jett when the twins graduate. Jett cries when I do. We’re both so proud of them. I tell myself that April hasn’t done anything in her life to make Jett proud. Oh, so badly I want to talk to Jett, to start all over and explain the situation again, but he won’t give me the opportunity. He barely speaks to me that day.
He still won’t answer my calls. I feel like stopping by his job, but fear that he’ll embarrass me and I’ll end up crying all night.
The only bright spot in my life is my visit with Kai. She comes to Memphis for the annual barbecue contest. I wanted to look like she remembered me, so I started a diet and exercise routine at the beginning of April. I’ve already lost fifteen pounds. Kai is a size two, and has been for most of her life. She’s developing a little pouch in front like her deceased mother did, but otherwise, she looks the same. I want to lose eight or nine more pounds so that Jett will see me and remember the woman that I was when he first married me.
I have shopped for all of the foods that Kai likes, and filled the wine rack with white and red wine. Sometimes the urge to take a drink surfaces, but I refuse to give in. I used to have a drinking problem back in the day. Ten years ago, I was writing in my office and drinking Christian Brothers like it was Gatorade. One day Jett was up on the roof of our home. Mind you, we were in our four-story house back then. He had a panic attack and kept screaming my name. I was upstairs loaded and didn’t hear him. After about an hour passed, he found the nerve to get down. He came up in my office, and finding me high as a kite, cussed me out. I felt like a total failure. My husband could have died if he fell off of our house. I was in such denial about my alcoholism that Jett threatened to leave me. That woke me up. There was no way that alcohol meant more to me than my husband did. So, no, I wasn’t going to start drinking again now, when my goal was to win my husband back.
So now, Kai can enjoy the wine and apple martinis. I’ll play it safe and refrain. Besides, my sons are old enough to know if I imbibe. Back then, they were too young to fully understand how I was killing myself.
Kai comes downstairs. “Hey, lady. You ready to get out and about?”
“Definitely. Would you like a glass of wine first?”
“No. Maybe later.”
“Then get your purse and let’s get downtown. Maxwell is going to be singing on the rotunda soon, and I’d like to get good seats.”
It takes a lot of navigating, but I manage to locate a parking space six blocks from the rotunda. As expected, it’s jam packed, and men and women of all ethnicities and shapes and sizes are enjoying the melee and mayhem of the last week of Memphis in May festivities.
Kai and I push through the crowd and manage to get two of the last seats on the bleachers. She tells me to watch the people to our left. They look like drug addicts. I clutch my purse tighter.
It’s almost eight-thirty. It’s dark out, but the stage is lit up like a movie set. A local band is playing, warming the crowd up until Maxwell makes his appearance.
Kai elects to get a beer and I purchase a soda. We wait patiently and sip on our drinks until Maxwell comes on. Like the children inside of us, both Kai and I scream when Maxwell comes on stage. For the next ninety minutes, he puts on a helluva performance, singing his new and old songs. When it’s over, Kai and I are bubbling with cheer and ready to go home.
The next day, Herman comes over to accompany Kai and me downtown. We go to BB King’s place and enjoy hearing Ruby Wilson sing her ass off. Next, we go down to Riverside Drive and join the crowd in the continuous celebrations.
As expected, Kai gets a crush on Herman. He flirts with her too. I’m so glad he’s feeling better since his attack. I’m still on him about pressing charges, but he still refuses.
For the next four hours, the three of us sample dry rub and regular barbecue. Kai imbibes three beers and gets pretty tipsy before we manage to call it a night and mosey on back home.
Herman opens the door for me and Kai. “Good night, Charity. Kai, it was a pleasure meeting you.”
“Thanks, Herman. It was special meeting you, too.”
Herman waits for us to enter the house before he drives off. It’s about ten-thirty. The twins could be anywhere.
“You sure you’re okay, Kai? You really socked that beer away.”
“I’m floating, lady. Just steer me in the direction of my bedroom and I’ll be just fine.” I take her arm and help her up the steps to her room. We hug good night.
I go back downstairs, clean up the mess in the kitchen, and then head to my bedroom. I’m feeling great after a fun night with my cousin and my friend. Just the kind of stress-relief I needed.
The phone on the nightstand rings. It’s Jett. So much for my lowered stress level.
“I need to say something to you.”
I sit down on the bed, holding my br
eath. Maybe he’s decided to come back home.
“My daughter called me.”
“You don’t know if she’s your daughter.”
“I’d bet my life on it. April told me that she met Jamone months ago in New York.”
“Uh-huh.” I don’t know what else to say.
“So you knew that my son met my daughter and you still didn’t say a damn thing?”
“Jett, put yourself in my position. I didn’t know what to do.”
He shows me no sympathy. “I’ll never forgive you for that. I never knew that you could be so low down and dirty. I have a total disrespect for you as a woman and as my wife. I would never have done anything like this to you. I thought married people were supposed to be honest with one another. Trust and honesty are the cornerstones of a good marriage. Without it, you ain’t got shit. This marriage is a farce.”
“Jett, I’m sorry. We can work this out.” Tears stream down my face and my bottom lip trembles. “I didn’t want to upset you. We were going through so much with the house and all. You know your pressure was up. It just never felt like the right time.”
“That’s no excuse. I can’t believe you’d stoop this low.”
“Well, why didn’t you tell me that you slept with my sister? Better yet, why didn’t you use a condom?”
“I did use a condom. But that’s neither here nor there. April is here now. I have a child in the world, and you kept her from me. I’ll never forgive you as long as I live.” That’s when I broke down blubbering. “I’ll call April. I’ll invite her over to our house. I’ll do anything you want me to do, Jett.”
“No. I’ve made arrangements to see my daughter. I don’t need you to do anything for me except stay the hell out of my life.”
“Jett! Please. I’m so sorry.”
“I’ll never trust you again. You make me ill.”
Doesn’t he realize how much I love him? How much I’ve sacrificed for him? I fall down on the bed crying. “I’m sorry. Please give me another chance.” For some reason, I can’t feel my face. It’s numb with pain.
We Ain’t the Brontës Page 14