“Hello to you, too,” I say. “Why haven’t I heard from you?”
“Because I’ve been sick.”
“What’s wrong? Do you have the flu?”
“No, I’m pregnant. Four months.”
I jump up and do a jig. Thank you, Jesus. “I’m so happy for you, Kai. I know how much you wanted a baby.”
“Yeah, but there are complications. He’s engaged to someone else. He says he’s committed to her.”
“Ouch.”
“Hell, I should have figured out what was going on. He never answered his home phone at night. Only his cell.”
“Then fuck ’im. You’re getting what you need out of the deal. Is he going to be around to help with the baby?”
“He says he is, but I’m not counting on him. Can I ask you a favor, Charity?”
“Sure.”
“When I go into labor, can you drive down here to be with me?”
“All you have to do is ask. Of course I’ll be there.”
The contractor that Herman hooked me up with is a genius. He draws up the plans to my specifications and begins working a week later. He hires two extra men on his crew so that he can meet my deadline in December.
Meanwhile, I make a list of all the baking goods and utensils we need. Moses is in charge of gathering everything else we require. After running a background check on Moses and finding his record to be clean, I gave him an American Express card with the business name on it. He’s now a registered user on the account.
My advertising guy, Edward Jefferson, has everything in place and has already sent out an e-mail blast with the name of my business, the address, and times of operation. He’s got ten radio spots set up to run a week before the grand opening. We’ve got a billboard on Interstate 40. When I first saw the sketch, I was impressed, and the finished product is awesome. Edward even has advertisements on the side panels of several Memphis Area Transit Authority buses.
I know that Lynzee wants me to come down to visit Michael during Christmas week, but I want her to come down the week before for my grand opening. I’m trying to work up the nerve to ask her.
One Friday afternoon I’m working on the bakery business. I realize that I haven’t bought the books and ledgers I need to keep inventory and keep a current client list. I get in my car and head out for Office Max across the street from Wolfchase Galleria Mall. Suddenly, I have an urge for a cappuccino. I swing by Starbucks and park my car. Alexander’s Restaurant is directly across from it. As I head for the door, I spot Herman and a woman holding hands. They’re laughing and joking. She kisses him on the cheek.
Needless to say, I’m furious. I forget about the cappuccino and get back into my car. I watch Herman open the door for this woman and minutes later, drive off.
Then I think to myself, we’re not a couple. What’s to stop him from getting some booty? I’m not giving him any, and he is a grown man. Still, my feelings are hurt. I thought that Herman told me that he could wait. Seeing him holding on to that woman’s hand shows me that he doesn’t intend to wait for me anytime soon.
I’m mad, but I’m still on a mission. I go to Office Max and purchase all of the books I need. When I get home, I text Moses and tell him what I purchased. He’s coming over tomorrow morning to pick up the ledgers.
I’m still madder than a caged tiger. I don’t waste any time calling Herman.
I get his voice mail. For the next half hour I continue to call; still, no answer.
I think about the twins. I think about Jett, Marla, and April. Lord knows that I still care about my husband.
I retrieve the business card that Jett gave me. I dial the number. Allene answers on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Ms. Jackson. This is Charity Evans. I’d like to know when you’ll have time available to meet with me. I’m Jett Evans’ wife.”
“Thanks for calling, Ms. Evans. I’ve been hoping to hear from you.” She pauses. “Let me see…. I can see you at four o’clock on Monday afternoon.”
“Good. I’ll be there.”
Who am I kidding? I was just waiting for a chance to prove Herman’s infidelity. But then again, who’s to say that Jett is still being faithful? Am I being over precautious, or am I destined to be like Kai, and end up with no man at all?
50
The twins and I spend a quiet Thanksgiving Day at home. Jett tried to persuade me to let him join us, but I refused. I’ve been to the therapist that Jett found. She wanted to see me alone, so she could get my perspective on our marital problems. Like the boys said, Ms. Jackson is nice. What I like about her is that she admits that there is no easy fix for a broken marriage.
I’m still attending yoga classes. My pain still hasn’t come back yet, and I’m thankful to Kai for suggesting the classes. Another plus from the yoga is fitness. I’m back in a size eight. I plan on staying that size, and take seventeen suits to the tailor’s and have them sized down to a slim eight. The tailor is happy for all of the business. I’m happy to look like myself again.
The twins intend to help me decorate the bakery two days before the grand opening. I put Jamone in charge. After all, he claims to be the creative twin in the family and knows what a classy opening affair should look like.
Herman finally calls. I’m tempted to not answer his call, but I want to see how good a liar he is.
“Hey, there,” he begins. “I’ve been trying to contact you for over a week. What did you do for the holiday?”
“I had dinner here at home with my sons.” I exhale. “What about you?”
“My cousin, Jennifer, has been here for a week. I flew her in from Las Vegas. We celebrated our holiday dinner at Tunica. She’s trying to get a job there as a public relations specialist. Jennifer’s been in the business for fifteen years.”
Was that the woman he was with? “Oh, tell her that I said hello.”
“She wants to meet you. I’ve told her everything about you. Matter of fact, she’s one of your fans. She’s read all of your books.”
Damn. This sounds legitimate. I scan my memory, trying to remember her face. I hope I can recognize her if I see her again.
“Charity…are you still there?”
“Oh, yes. I’m just flattered about your cousin is all.”
“Okay. How about the three of us meeting for dinner on Saturday night? We can go to Alexander’s. That’s where I took Jennifer, and she made me promise to take her back.”
Then it was her. Stupid, stupid, me. Now what am I going to do? I’m trying to get back with Jett, but still holding out hope for Herman. I need help.
“Saturday is fine. What time?”
“How about six?”
“I’ll meet you two there.”
“I can pick you up.”
“No, it’s better if I meet you there.” I don’t need Jett seeing Herman’s car in my driveway.
Later that evening, I call Lynzee. I explain to her my dilemma with Jett and Herman.
“You’ve had a bad year, little sis. I’m glad you’re seeing a therapist. She can help you sort out your life. You’ve got a lot of important decisions to make.”
“I know. I want to use my brain and not my heart to make the right decision about Jett and me. I really care about Herman, but I know the timing is all wrong.”
“I agree. Like usual, you’re moving too fast. Slow down. Life’s not as complicated as you think.”
“Thanks, Lynzee. I’m so used to rushing everything, even writing my books. It’s time that I slowed down.”
“Thank the Lord you’re finally getting it.”
“I love you, Lynzee. Thanks.”
“And I love you, too, Charity.”
She expresses how sorry that she is for getting everything started with April’s presence. “I was strung out on Percocet when I first called April. I’m embarrassed to say that I hated your guts back then, Charity. I wanted to do anything I could to hurt you.”
“You love me, you hate me, Lynzee.”
<
br /> “Yes, I felt both. But my hatred of you at the time outweighed the love. I didn’t want Jett back. But I knew when you told Jett about April that he would have a positive reaction. Men are suckers for their daughters, you know.”
“I’m finding that out to be true. Jett seems crazy about April.”
“And she told me that she loves him too.”
“Do you still talk to April?” I ask.
“Not really. I leave her messages. I tell her that I love her. I tell her that I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way. She leaves me messages and says that she hates my guts and she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.”
“Does that bother you?”
“A little. But after I found her, she and I never really got to know each other. Once I found out that she had an addiction like I did, I pretty much didn’t want to have too much to do with her.”
“Why didn’t you try to get her clean?”
“I couldn’t get myself clean. How was I going to help her? Plus, Tyler was going through changes then with Raymond. It was all too much for me to deal with.”
“I see.”
“Besides, I was more focused on competing with you, little sister. I felt threatened by you. I was thinking of anything and everything I could do to you to end your career.”
“And now, since you’re going back writing again, can this happen between us a second time? We ain’t the Brontës, you know.”
“No way. I’ve learned my lesson. And I don’t care if your sales are greater than mine. I’ll be so proud of you. That’s the truth, Charity. I would rather you become the number one African American writer than some of these other haters that I know.”
“Thanks.” I pause. “Now, what are we going to do about April? Jett is sending her back to L.A. in January. Do you think she’ll contact Tyler or do anything negative to hurt your career?”
“It’s not likely. April can’t take a chance of losing her job and ending up on the streets. As you probably know already, not only does she have an alcohol problem, she’s hooked on marijuana. Maybe one of these days I’ll be in a position to help her emotionally. That is, if she’ll accept it.”
“What about her adoptive parents? Have you spoken to them lately?”
“Not since I found April. They’ve washed their hands of her. It appears that she burnt her bridges with them years ago.”
“What’d she do?”
“She set their house on fire. They didn’t have homeowner’s insurance, and they lost everything. Presently, they’re living with his sister. All of April’s pictures of her growing up and her prom are gone, and they said that they prefer it that way. They never want to see her again in life.”
“So, she has no one?”
“Not if Jett turns his back on her.”
“I don’t know what to say, Lynzee. I’ve tried to have feelings for April, but I don’t. Hell, I’m human. We all have flaws. Having her use Jett’s love as weakness disgusts me. I don’t trust her. I don’t respect who she is.”
“Who could blame you? Your marriage is in shambles because of her.”
“No, Lynzee, because of you.”
“I can’t deny it. You’re right. I admit that everything is all my fault. If I could fix any of it back the way things were before, I would. I know I’ve asked you before, but can you please forgive me, Charity, for causing so many problems in your life?”
“A part of me wants to say no, but because our Mama raised us better, I have to say yes. Yes, I can forgive you, Lynzee.”
Lynzee starts to cry. “I told Michael about my Percocet habit. I told him about me and you. I told him about Tyler’s marriage and the adoption. He knows everything.”
“That’s good that you’re being honest with him. Your relationship should be stronger because of it.” I pause, but I have to ask. “Does he know about Heidi?”
“Yes. He understands how college girls get into relationships like that. He chastised me for knowing about her threats to commit suicide and not doing anything about it. But he said when someone really wants to kill themselves, there’s really nothing that I could have done about it.”
“That’s true.” I sigh. “Enough of that morbid shit. I need you to do something for me.”
“Name it.”
“I’m having a grand opening of my bakery on December seventeenth. Can you come down and celebrate the opening with me? I’d like to put your name in the publicity promotions. Maybe you can read from your new book.”
“You want me to be a featured guest?”
“Yes. It would make me proud.”
“Then hell yes! I’ll fly in on the sixteenth. Is that okay?”
“Yes. I’ll pick you up at the airport. Get an early flight so that I can kick your ass at Boggle before we go to bed.” I laugh and Lynzee laughs with me.
I meet Herman and Jennifer at Alexander’s. She’s a pretty girl, with a beautiful personality. When we sit down at her table, she immediately launches into a dozen questions about my books. She makes me laugh because she’s so serious about the characters. I answer her queries the best I can, because I’ve actually forgotten some of the characters in my first two books. I pique her interest with my latest book about the Afghanistan war. She loves the topic.
We eat dinner and almost freeze Herman out of the conversation. He’s courteous and lets us talk. He seems amused. But when it’s time to leave, Herman tries to kiss me again. I pull away. He’s hurt, but says he’ll call me tonight.
Herman called and I told him about my therapy sessions. I thought he would be mad, but he was actually happy about it. He told me that he’d rather that I be sure about the divorce than have regrets. He said that he was open to talk about the sessions if and when I felt the need to. If I don’t, that’s fine with him too. I truly treasure Herman’s friendship. He’s one of a kind, and I know that he really cares about me.
I’m finding that I’m getting butterflies thinking about him, too, especially intimately. I’ve had sexual dreams about Herman that have me waking up sweating. Guilt consumes me, and I need two Excedrin P.M. to get back to sleep. I’m going to do what Ms. Jackson suggests and read the Bible more. Maybe reading about marriage and love will help me sort out this dilemma.
51
I’m scheduled to have another session with Allene Jackson. It’s the first time that Jett will be in attendance. Jett is there when I arrive and Allene takes us right in.
She gets out her notepad. “Jett have you been attending church?” He nods yes. “And you, Charity?”
“I haven’t been in months.”
Allene says, “I want you to try and attend church this Sunday. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes.” Jett will be there. Does she expect us to sit together?
Jett and I are sitting side by side. Allene is sitting at her desk. She glances back and forth at both of us before she asks the question, “Now, who wants to be the first one to voice their complaints about the marriage?”
“I do,” I say without hesitation. “I believe that Jett and I had a beautiful marriage before he found out that he had an illegitimate daughter. After that, he resented me and our marriage soured. He lost his trust in me. I lost my trust in him when our sons caught him out with a younger woman. Now my trust for him is gone, and I don’t know if it can ever be repaired.”
Allene looks at Jett. “Your turn.”
Jett looks humbled. His head is lowered and his hands are shaking. “Like Charity said, we had a wonderful marriage. I never loved a woman the way I loved her. I trusted her with my life. Then I found out about my daughter, a daughter who always wondered about the paternity of her natural father. I found out that Charity lied about knowing the truth. I abhor a liar. Have no patience for liars. I felt I had no choice but to leave. The hurt was that deep. Charity knows that I always wanted a daughter.”
“Tell me why you hid the truth from Jett, Charity.”
“From the beginning, I had a premonition that this c
hild would cause problems in our marriage; that her presence would ultimately challenge the love Jett felt for me and my sons. I mean, talk about a dysfunctional family. Having a cousin and a sister in the same body is a little hard to digest. I know me, and I know that I would never be able to accept this child. I knew that it would be an ongoing competition between us to claim Jett’s love. I admit that I was wrong for withholding the information from Jett, but I only did it to save our marriage.”
Jett begins to cry. I have to freeze my emotions to not reach out and hug him. I now know how much I still care for this man. After all, what other black man do I know who’s in love with Willie Nelson’s songs? None.
“I have to say that I believe you two really love each other. I believe that your marriage can be saved. Are you willing to work on it? Charity?” I nod. “Jett?” He nods.
“Well, that’s enough for today. I want you two to talk before you come see me again. I want you two to think of five things that will help make this marriage solid again.” She rises, and I follow Jett out of the office.
I’m too embarrassed to look Jett in the eye. I head for the door. I don’t want to say good-bye. It sounds so stupid for me to say that to my husband, a man who I feel that I need back in my life for good.
I open the door, and Jett puts his large hands over mine. He looks deep into my eyes. “Marla has lost it. She quit her job. She’s talking about kicking your butt with a baseball bat. I’m worried, Charity. Maybe you should have one of the twins stay with you for a while.”
“No. I know how to protect myself. Besides, I still have the gun you bought me.” I pat my purse. “I keep it with me at all times.”
“Good. I don’t know if I could go on if something happened to you.” His eyes fill with tears again. “I wish I could go home with you. You need my protection.”
A part of me wishes he would. I kiss his cheek. “I’ll be fine, Jett. I’ll see you at church on Sunday.” I smile and leave.
I get into my car. I lied to Jett. The truth is I can’t find my gun. I hid it from myself. I put it up in a safe place and forgot where I put it. I don’t want to alarm the twins and ask them to help me find it.
We Ain’t the Brontës Page 25