by T. L Smith
“I knew I loved you for a reason, so I’m gonna tell you. It’s not something I wanted, it’s something I needed. It’s as natural to me as the air I breathe. I will go all the way one day soon. I was just not meant to be a man on this earth. I know in my heart I was meant to be a woman. But we don’t always get what we want, and it was hard. Especially growing up, being me, but I’m comfortable now. The words still hurt, but I have learned to deal with that.” Her words only make me appreciate her more. She truly is a remarkably strong woman.
I stay for coffee and thank her for letting me stay. She hugs me tightly on my way out and I hug her equally as tight back.
“Someone doesn’t look happy,” she says in my ear as she releases me. I glance in the direction she’s looking and see Kai standing against his truck, sunglasses on top of his head and glaring at both of us. I give her a warm smile and make my way to my number one stalker.
“How did you find me?” I ask, stopping in front of him. He looks at my clothes and sees that I still have on the same outfit as I did last night and then looks back to my face. His face still has a hard look.
“I tracked your cell. Who’s the guy?” he asks, nodding his head back in the direction of Julia’s apartment. I want to laugh at him, then I remember Julia wasn’t dressed.
“None of your business,” I tell him, walking in the direction of my dorm. He swears under his breath and follows after me, staying a step behind and not speaking.
Once I reach the dorm, I turn around to see if he intends to follow me up, but he stands there not making eye contact with me. I shrug my shoulders and leave him. I reach my dorm room and notice there’s a ribbon tied around the doorknob. Great! That means my busty roommate is in there occupied with a male. I shrink down on the floor, wondering, if I fall asleep here, would someone kick me? Then I remember I have an evil occupant across the hall who has decided right at that moment to open the door.
Bianca sneers at me when she sees me on the floor. She walks past me and kicks my foot while calling me white trash. I ignore her and only look up when she has walked away. When I look in the direction she went, I see her stopped, showcasing a lot of boobs to no other than Kai.
If I could shrink into the floor any more, I think I would. The last thing I want to see is her grubby hands rubbing up and down his biceps like she’s doing right now. He looks at me and catches me watching, which also brings the attention of her cold eyes. She tries to draw his attention back to her, but doesn’t succeed. She gives up when he walks away from her and sits down on the floor opposite me.
I don’t speak at first. I hardly lift my face to see him. I notice his feet and legs because they’re basically touching mine as he sits down in this small area. He nudges me with his foot to get a reaction from me, but I don’t move and I still don’t look up.
“I think we should do something today, like a date,” he says, surprising me. I finally let my eyes trail up and when they do, the look of this man sitting directly in front of me doesn’t disappoint.
“Why are we sitting on the floor?” he asks, not waiting for a reply to his previous question. I point to the ribbon on the doorknob and he laughs. It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen him laugh. He has dimples in both of his cheeks and his eyes light up. It brings a smile to my face. He stands when he sees me smiling and holds out his hand for me to take. I look to his hand then take it without hesitation when he keeps that smile on his face.
“Where are we going?” I ask when I stand. He holds my hand and intertwines our fingers together. Then he smiles brightly and I think my heart stops.
Fuck!
Forgetting is good for the brain. Deleting unnecessary information helps the nervous system retain its plasticity.
The car ride is different from the last. Music is blasting and Kai is singing along. It’s a rap song and every time he tries to rap, I start laughing. He then turns the music up so he can sing even louder. His smile hasn’t left his face since we got in the car and it’s contagious. I shouldn’t be smiling though. I’m still wearing last night’s clothes, I haven’t showered and I can’t even get into my own room. But I guess it’s the small things that can make you smile and help you to forget the bad, like the simple hand hold gesture. Or the dimples in his cheeks that I want to kiss, or the smile that hasn’t left his face, which just makes me happy.
We come to a stop outside of town in front of a modest two-story home. There’s a minivan parked in front and kids toys all over the lawn. I give Kai a puzzled look when he turns the music down and stops the engine. He beams brightly when a small child comes running out singing his name. The little boy is cute and has dark hair like Kai, with a smile that matches his as well. The little boy looks to me and asks who I am. Kai grins picks the kid up and walks to my side of the car. He opens the door and offers his free hand to help me get out. I take it and climb down.
“Jonas, this is, Kristy. She’s a good friend. Say hello.”
The little boy looks at me and I would guess he’s around three years old. He says, “Hello,” and Kai puts him down and he runs off back inside the house. I look to Kai for answers and he intertwines our fingers again, pulling me along to the front of the house.
He opens the front door, kicks some toys out of the way and calls out, “Sierra, come say hey.” He points to a photograph hanging on the wall. It’s him with an equally beautiful girl, which I’m guessing is his twin sister. My heart stops. I look at him wondering why he’d bring me here, of all places.
“I’m here, you pig. Come in the kitchen and help me get these kids organized and make yourself useful,” she yells as she walks out of the kitchen, but she stops when she sees me. She looks so much like Kai, but a female version. She isn’t small, but her build is bigger than mine. Her figure is great for someone I’m assuming has had a child. Her eyes are just as dark, but her hair is shade darker than Kai’s. She looks at me and smiles. It’s then that I notice she has the same dimples as Kai. This family really hit the gene pool with everything. They’re so beautiful.
“Well, this is a first,” Sierra says, looking at me and then to Kai. She looks back to me, grabs my hand from Kai and pulls me, just like her brother does, into the kitchen she’s just come from. There’s a little girl the same size as Jonas sitting at the table eating fruit. She looks at me and her little face lights up while Kai takes a seat next to her and leans down to kiss her. She giggles and I notice that Kai’s face is happy, the happiest I have ever seen him.
“That is my girl, Tasha, and I guess you’ve met, Jonas? Whenever Kai shows up he has to be the first one out there to greet him,” she says handing me a mixer. I look at her, confused, and she starts working on whatever she’s doing. “Oh shit, sorry, I was so excited to have another woman in this house, especially one that Kai has brought home. He never brings girls here.” She holds out her free hand. When I take it, she pulls me into a side hug. “The name is Sierra, not any of the names Kai calls me. He’s the only one to get away with that,” she says, shooting a look over my shoulder at Kai.
“Kristy,” I tell her, to which she grins at me and calls the kids to the table.
“You best not be annoying my guest, sister dearest,” Kai says, walking into the large kitchen. Sierra sends him a death glare and shoos him away with a knife in her hand. He steps back with his hands up in surrender, laughing at her.
“I hope you eat chicken, Kristy. It’s all my kids seem to want to eat, so that’s what’s for lunch.”
I nod my head and when she turns around, Kai sneaks in and grabs my hand and pulls me out. He places a kiss on my cheek and embraces me with a hug. Maybe this day won’t turn out so badly after all.
“I haven’t freaked you out, have I?” he asks, with me still wrapped around him. I shake my head and he beams down at me. I hardly know this man, the one that has stormed into my life and shown me more emotions and angst in such a short time than I ever thought possible.
“Why would you bring me here?” I ask, still mold
ed to his chest.
His mouth is on my hair as he speaks, “You’re not something I ever wish to hide. Your name should be shouted from the rooftops.” My lips quirk up at him and I place my hands on his face to pull him closer. I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him on the cheek. His lips do the same then he breaks apart when his sister walks in, wolf whistling.
“No one gets lucky in this house. I’d like to keep it that way,” she adds with a wink and walks away. I start off after her and Kai grabs hold of my ass and gives it a squeeze. I try to knock his hand off and he just laughs at me.
There is no left brain/right brain divide. In truth, they work together.
Lunch was great. The kids are so beautiful and absolutely adore Kai. Sierra is single and looking after the twins herself and she told me Kai is more help than she ever dreamed of. Their parents aren’t in the picture anymore and she chose not to speak of her father, which I didn’t question. They have a relationship that is quite beautiful and makes me wish things had been different with my upbringing. Maybe if my parents were alive I’d have another sibling.
Sierra tells us she’s going to put the kids down for a nap and Kai and I say our goodbyes. We stayed for most of the day, relaxing and watching movies with the kids. The kids run into Kai’s arms, both at the same time and he picks them up easily, swinging them around with joy. Sierra cuddles me goodbye and tells me not to be a stranger. She whispers something in Kai’s ear and his face turns serious for a second, before he leans in and kisses her goodbye as well.
Kai drives back in silence and I don’t intrude. I’m lost in thought as well. I’m not sure why he brought me to see his family, but I feel privileged that I know a bit more about this mysterious man. We pull up at his apartment and both climb out in silence. He walks around my side of the car and hands me the keys to his house, I take them and wait for an explanation.
“Can you please wait inside for me? I have to grab something.” I nod my head and do as he asks. It’s the first time he’s used his manners with me. He leans in and I think for a second he’s going to kiss me on the lips, when he brings my head forward and places a warm kiss on my forehead. He pulls away and walks back to his truck.
I open the front door and look around. His house is quite nice. He has a very large television hanging on the wall, with a three-seat, dark suede sofa sitting in front with a coffee table in the middle. I take a seat on the sofa, not wanting to snoop around his house, and turn on the television. There’s a rerun on of ‘Law and Order’ and that’s what I end up watching before I fall asleep on his sofa.
I wake to arms being wrapped around me and being lifted and carried. I open my eyes to Kai and he looks lost in thought. I bring my hand up to run a finger over where his dimples sit and his face drops in the palm of my hand. I feel the subtle scratch of his facial hair. I watch as his eyes close for a second before they open back up to meet with my wondering eyes.
He walks us to the shower and turns it on. He puts the bag on the toilet, places me on the floor, and then walks out. I test the temperature of the water and start to strip automatically. I haven’t had a shower since last night and my body is craving one. The warm water hits my skin and I place my head slowly under the streaming water and let it wash over me. Once I’m done, I hop out and look around for my clothes and notice they are gone. I start to freak out when I remember him placing the bag on the toilet lid. I open it to find a beautiful blue sundress that stops just above my knees and some underwear. I don’t know how he knew to get me clothes or how he knew my size, but I am grateful to change and feel clean.
When I open the bathroom door, I’m met with darkness. A hand wraps around my waist from behind and I squeal. Kai laughs at me and I turn around to smack him, but he stops me by placing both hands on me and asking me to stay still.
“I’m going to need you to trust me,” he whispers in my ear, then wraps something around my eyes. It feels like a tie, but I’m not sure because I can’t see. He intertwines our fingers and pulls me in the direction of the kitchen. I hear a chair being pulled out and he asks me to sit. I do so without question.
“How hungry are you?” he asks, not so close to me anymore.
“I’m still full from lunch,” I tell him honestly. His sister’s food was enough to feed an army.
“I want you to open your mouth.”
I’m hesitant at first and then comply when I feel him move closer to me.
“Close,” he says strongly when the spoon is in my mouth. That’s when I taste chocolate heaven. It’s like a soft, warm sponge cake, but covered in chocolate sauce. I’ve never had anything that tastes so delicious. I start to moan and lick my lips when the spoon is removed and I instantly want more.
“Open,” he continues feeding me until I feel so full that I can’t fit anymore in.
I sink into the chair, still feeling his presence surrounding me and with a belly full of chocolate heaven. I lick my lips to remove all the chocolate and that’s when his lips touch mine, softly at first; tasting me. His tongue swipes at my lips removing the excess chocolate and then he bites my lip softly and pulls it between his lips. I reach up for him out of frustration that he isn’t deepening the kiss, but playing with me instead. I stand and pull his head closer to mine. I can’t see a thing since my eyes are still blindfolded, but I can feel him. I can feel every inch of him. He lifts me by my ass and I wrap my legs around his torso without removing our lips, our tongues are dancing and locked on for life. He tastes of chocolate as well. It’s so sweet and unlike him, but I still crave it. I still crave him.
He picks me up and carries me with our mouths never separating and places me on something soft. I let go of him and our lips disconnect. I feel the loss instantly. I go to remove the blindfold, when he stops me and places my hands back down on either side of me. It feels like I’m on his bed. I can feel the black satin sheets and smell him everywhere.
I sit there without moving or saying a word. I don’t even know if Kai is still in the same room as me anymore. I lay back and my head falls directly onto the pillow and that’s when I feel Kai. He starts by kissing the arch of my foot, his hands holding both sides. His kisses move higher to my calf and then even higher to my thigh. I’m shaking from anticipation of what is to come. Just as I feel his warmth and tongue dance higher, he stops. I’m not sure why he did, but the next thing he does has me totally confused.
He covers me with a blanket and climbs in next to me. He doesn’t say a word while he removes my blindfold and pulls me flush to his body. I can feel the effect I’ve had on him.
The question is, why did he stop?
“Goodnight, Nani, thank you for today,” he whispers in my hair. I turn around so our faces are inches away from each other. I can still smell the chocolate on his breath. I can’t tell if his eyes are closed or not, but I have to ask him something.
“What is this?” His hand reaches up, brushes away a strand of hair that has fallen across my face and he places a soft kiss on my lips.
“This is us, trying to find a way against all odds.”
I don’t understand what he means, but the warmth of his arms surrounding me is enough to lull me into sleep. My dreams that night consist of Kai’s smile and kisses.
The brain treats rejection like physical pain, according to scientists.
I wake to an empty bed and a note placed on his pillow where he slept. It tells me he got called into work and to help myself to whatever I need. I ignore the note and call for a cab to pick me up. I collect my clothes and bag and wait outside. While I’m waiting, my cell starts ringing. It shows Kai is calling, but I’m not in the mood to talk right now. I have to go back to my dorm and study for an exam. I hit the ignore button and send him a text that I’ll call him later. He doesn’t reply.
I ask the cab driver to stop at the coffee house across from the college. Once I walk inside, I notice someone I haven’t seen for a week staring at me intently. Detective Black is here and his eyes are raking over me. I still hav
e on the blue dress Kai bought me and I feel ashamed that another man is looking at something that Kai purchased for me with lust in his eyes. I give Detective Black a slight wave and walk to the register to order coffee. He decides that is the best time to come and talk to me.
“Where have you been?” he asks, standing directly behind me.
“Been busy. How have you been?” I ask, changing the subject. The cashier gives me a weird look and walks away from the register as I finish paying.
“I want to ask you out for dinner,” he states, his beautiful eyes boring into mine. I don’t want to reject him, but I feel I have to. I don’t know exactly what is going on with Kai, but I do want to see where it goes.
“I can’t, I’m sorry. Plus, I don’t even know your first name.”
He gives me a puzzled look and answers, “Tyke.”
I give him a skeptical look. I know that name, I just don’t know how.
“How about lunch tomorrow if you won’t indulge me with your presence for dinner?” He raises an eyebrow as if to challenge me. I’d still feel wrong, so I tell him again.
“Tyke, I’m sorry I can’t. Thank you for asking me though.”
“Are you seeing someone, Kristy?” he asks as I go to walk past him. I stop and turn around to face him.
“I’m not sure,” I tell him honestly, because I really don’t know if I am.
“Well, when you’re sure, and you realize, and you will realize, that he isn’t good enough for you, come and find me. I will be waiting for you.” He leaves and his words float around me like he knows what’s best for me.
I arrive at the dorm and I literally run straight into Bianca. My coffee goes directly down her top and she starts screaming and swearing. I try to apologize, but to no avail. The stare she gives me when she realizes it was me that did it is one of pure evil.
“You fucking little bitch,” she screams. I apologize again and offer to clean it up, but she slaps me so hard across the face, my vision blurs. I take a step back and slam into the wall, dropping the remainder of my coffee to the floor. I look up to her with tears brimming in my eyes and see the devil inside hers.