When it was all ready, she realised that she wasn’t entirely sure where the sitting-room was. She took the tray into the hall and listened for voices behind one of the closed doors.
It wasn’t difficult. Some kind of argument was going on. “…But Father, you know it would be the sensible thing to do.”
Frances hesitated, then rested the tray on the hall table and opened the door.
“Ah!” said Lesley irritably. “I thought you were upstairs with Tobias.”
Her face was flushed. William looked sulky, Stephen embarrassed. “Put it down there, Nanny. Oh - no sugar?”
“You’ve used the brown teapot,” said William.
“It was all I could find. Sorry - I’ll go and get the sugar,” said Frances, trying to make room for the tray among the brochures on the coffee-table. …Coloured brochures with pictures of houses and the rooms inside them: ‘Woodfield Court’, ‘Greenbanks’. Was this what they had been discussing?
Back in the kitchen, her own tea was getting cold. She gulped it, found a bowl of sugar and some teaspoons and took them to the sitting-room.
“Next time, Nanny, would you use the china teapot that matches this service?” said Lesley. “You’ll find it with the rest of the set if you look carefully.”
Frances bit her lip, unable to think of a reply which would keep her her job.
Outside in the hall she took a few deep breaths. The raised voices had begun again.
“Think of Tobias, Dad!”
“I’d rather not, thank you!”
Frances turned to go. The cat, however, deciding this was where the action was, began to scratch loudly at the sitting-room door, glaring at Frances when she didn’t open it.
“Shush!” she hissed, but this merely provoked him to reinforce his demand with a series of yowls that Tobias would have envied. She hovered, uncertain whether to run for it before someone else opened the door and accused her of eavesdropping, or try to let the cat in discreetly herself to stop him making that awful noise.
Then suddenly he did stop. Her momentary relief turned to alarm as she realised he was listening to something outside the front door. …Footsteps in the porch. The bell rang.
She heard exclamations from the sitting-room. Any moment they would come into the hall and ask her why she hadn’t opened the front door. So she opened it.
A gust of scent. A tall lady in a voluminous Indian cotton dress, with voluminous red-gold hair bound in a scarf to match.
“Hello, I’m Julia! You must be Tobias’s nanny - we spoke on the phone.” She stepped forward almost as if to embrace Frances, but held out a warm hand instead. “How lovely to meet you at last! This is our little horror - Posy.” Frances found herself facing the appraising grey eyes of a girl of about eight. “Say hello to…?”
“Frances.”
“Lovely name!”
“Oh, there’s Scratch!” said Posy, and ran to grab the cat, who dived for cover under the hall table.
“…And here’s our Nanny.” Julia indicated a bottom in a tight skirt bending to extract something from the back of the car. “…Oh, hello Daddy! Isn’t this fun? We haven’t had a real family Christmas for ages. Stephen - Lesley… How super! And where’s darling little Tobias?” She wafted in to where the others had gathered in an uncomfortable group in the hall.
Frances, continuing in her role as parlour-maid, stayed holding the door open for the only person Julia hadn’t introduced: a good-looking older man - the sort they use to advertise life-assurance - with neatly-waved hair, greying an acceptable amount at the sides, and an improbably smart suit.
“So you’re Tobias’s new nanny. What was the name? Frances. Splendid.” He gripped her hand in a brief, professional handshake.
“Hello, Tony.”
Frances gaped. Surely that soft-voiced greeting didn’t emanate from Lesley Shirburn? Good God, the pale eyelashes were almost fluttering! She watched Tony leave two bright patches of flame as he kissed his sister-in-law on both cheeks, and found it hard to suppress a grin.
Her speculations were interrupted by the return of Posy, who, having discovered that Scratch lived up to his name, was seeking more reliable sport.
“Where’s Tobias?”
“I’m afraid he’s asleep.”
“I’ll go and wake him.” She started up the stairs.
“No, don’t do that!”
“Where’s his room?”
“Don’t be a naughty girl, Pose,” said the owner of the tight skirt wearily. Her top was tight too, but she wore a severe jacket over it, giving the overall impression of a business-like tart. “Hi, I’m Shelley.”
She looked round her with a shudder. “This is a bit creepy, isn’t it? - Sort of Frankenstein’s castle. …With Posy’s Grandad as Frankenstein!” she added in a whisper. “Oo-er! I don’t think he’s very pleased about us coming!”
Frances felt a sudden irrational desire to defend Haseley and William. “He’s a bit old for so many visitors - and the house is really interesting when you get used to it.”
Posy had gone to badger her aunt. “Where’s Tobias sleeping, Lesley?”
“Hello, dear. How you’ve grown!”
“They do at this age. Isn’t it awful? The little monster eats us out of house and home.”
“Do you know where Tobias is, Uncle Stephen?”
“You could get lost in a place like this, couldn’t you?” Shelley went on. “Go along to the lav in the middle of the night and never find your way back. …There’s that pussy again! Oi - Pose! There’s the pussy!”
Curiosity had got the better of Scratch, who had incautiously poked his head out from under the table, thinking the heat was off. William startled everyone by seizing his cat and disappearing unceremoniously into the sitting-room.
“Oh - I say!” said Stephen, who now that politenesses had been exchanged, didn’t really want to be trapped in the hall with his sister’s family.
Lesley too looked rather embarrassed. “Well - er - I hope you won’t be too uncomfortable,” she said. “Unfortunately William forgot to tell Mrs. Arncott you were going to be here. …Well, he forgot to tell anybody, in fact. Until we arrived this morning, we were fully expecting to have Haseley to ourselves, weren’t we, Stephen?” She gave her tight smile. “I suppose you did know that Aunt Margery and Hilary are coming, and some man…”
“Oh yes. Daddy told me all that on the phone last night,” said Julia blithely. “Poor darling! He was really fed up about it. I thought we’d better come to cheer him up.”
“Well, we’ll leave you to settle in, then,” said Lesley, obviously feeling she had done her duty. “No, Posy, don’t disturb Grandpa. Come on, Stephen.”
They disappeared into the sitting-room to disturb Grandpa themselves.
Frances suddenly found everyone looking at her, and realised with alarm that, as the only menial on the premises, she was expected to show the others to their rooms. As it happened, she did know where Kath had put Tony and Julia, in a cramped little room not far from the one she was sharing with Shelley, but she resented being the one to break the news.
“Come on, Nanny!” said Tony briskly. “Lead and we’ll follow. No one’s to go empty-handed, though. If I know William, he’ll have put us all the way up in the attics!”
William dropped the cat and slumped down on the sofa, glaring at the glossy rubbish still littering the coffee-table. He had been very grateful for the interruption which had put an end to that tiresome conversation with his son and daughter-in-law, and now he hoped to finish his cup of tea and join his grandson in the Land of Nod while they all sorted themselves out at the other end of the house.
Scratch, sensing something he wasn’t allowed to touch, jumped up onto the brochures and began to paw them about. The result was disappointing. They didn’t make the satisfactory rustling noise of a proper newspaper, they were hard to chew pieces off, and, worst of all, it didn’t seem to produce any reaction from William.
When Lesley and Stephen
came in, things were much better. Lesley shrieked and clapped her hands, and Stephen snatched the brochures up and tried to straighten them out.
“Wretched cat! Where were we?” he said, moving William’s cup out of reach and sitting down beside him.
“‘Green Banks’, I think,” said Lesley. “These rooms look comfortable, don’t they, Father? You can take some of your own furniture.”
William had no desire to take his furniture to ‘Green Banks’ or anywhere else. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully.
“…And this one’s really quite reasonably priced, considering all the facilities they offer. Look - it’s even got a swimming-pool.”
“So it has,” said William, who had never been near a swimming-pool in his life and didn’t intend to start now.
“It’s only at Henley, so it wouldn’t be far for us to visit.”
“Nor it would.” William had always had an aversion to Henley, since being taken to visit an elderly lunatic aunt there at a tender age.
“We could ring up and make an appointment for you to visit after the holiday.”
“Isn’t it a good thing that Julia decided to bring the family for Christmas?” William remarked. “Young Posy will be such good company for your Tobias!”
“Yes,” said Lesley, a hint of doubt in her voice.
“They’ll be able to play some of the games she taught him last time,” William went on.
“Er…yes. We weren’t entirely sure…” Stephen trailed off.
“I seem to remember them having a high old time in the shrubbery! …Did Posy find his room, by the way? I’m sure she will. She seems a very determined child.”
Lesley got up. “I think perhaps I ought to see what’s happening.”
,“Of course they may take some finding,” said William, as Stephen didn’t move. “…So many places for children to hide in a house like this!”
“I’d better come with you,” said Stephen.
“Shut the door on your way out,” said William. “Oh - and I should put these things away somewhere. You wouldn’t want them to get spoiled.”
“Oh, but this is a sweet little room!” said Julia. “Do you know, it was where my nanny used to sleep when I was a little girl! Posy, come and look at…
“We ought to let Shelley and Frances have it then,” said Tony, throwing himself down on the narrow bed. “Christ, this is uncomfortable!”
“Well, if you want to swap…” said Frances guiltily.
“Oh no, darling!” said Julia. “It’s lovely and peaceful up here. The nursery wing’s quite cut off from the rest of the house. Shove up a bit, Tony.”
“We’d never prise Shelley out of there now, anyway,” he said. They had left her en route, admiring the multi-mirrored dressing-table. “The room we give her in Wimbledon just isn’t going to seem the same. I’m afraid we’ll have to move in here with William, Julia. It’s so hard to keep a good nanny these days!”
“God forbid!” laughed Julia. “This is a ghastly house - don’t you think so, Frances? All those bare boards and freezing corridors! It made boarding school seem positively luxurious. I can’t imagine why Stephen’s so keen to live here.” She patted the end of the bed for Frances, as there was no chair. “Sit down and tell us all the gossip.”
“Er - I think perhaps I ought to check on Tobias,” said Frances, uneasily aware of Posy’s disappearance.
“Oh, he’ll be fine. Posy and he’ll be having a wonderful game somewhere. I must say, we wouldn’t have your job for anything! Aren’t Stephen and Ratso simply horrendous to work for?”
“Ratso..?” Frances blinked.
“Lesley. Everyone calls her Ratso - everyone in the family, that is - didn’t you know? …Oh, I suppose you wouldn’t!” Julia shook back her red curls and pushed a pillow up behind her. “Their last nanny only stuck it a fortnight, and she gave Ratso a real earful before she went - reading between the lines. We were hoping you’d be able to tell us all about it!”
“No, I..er..”
“Oh, we were counting on you! Couldn’t you make discreet enquiries?”
“Oh come on, Julia! I can’t see Ratso having intimate little chats with her nanny over the tea-cups. In fact, you can’t imagine Lesley being intimate with anyone - nor Stephen. It’s a family mystery how Tobias was ever conceived…”
“Sh, Tony! You’ll embarrass Frances! You can tell us, do they actually… - I mean, do they share a room?”
“Er - yes.”
“With a double bed?”
“No way!” interrupted Tony. “Two chaste singles, pushed together once a year!” He sat up, and leant back dubiously against the single bed-head. “How on earth did you come to get saddled with that pair, Frances? Or rather, however did Stephen and Ratso manage to get hold of such a very classy nanny?”
Frances, blushing, explained how the advertisement for a well-educated, ‘well-spoken’ nanny in The Lady, seemed to hold out the promise of a glittering new life among intellectual Oxford society.
“And you found yourself landed with Lesley and Stephen and Tobias!” Tony chuckled. “I’m surprised you didn’t take the first train back.”
“Well…it was a bit difficult.” She described the grand send-off, how her brother Joe had moved into her room, and what a fortune her salary as a full-time live-in nanny seemed compared with what she’d been earning at the doctor’s.
“And that’s important to you?”
“It means I can help out at home…” Somehow, with these sympathetic listeners, her whole life-story came pouring out - how her father’s death had left her mother with four children to bring up on a small pension, her own decision to leave school instead of going to Art College, and how the new job would at last enable her to make a real contribution to the family income.
“So you’re absolutely trapped - how ghastly!” Julia rolled her eyes. “It’s like Jane Eyre, or something. In fact you do look a bit like Jane Eyre, doesn’t she, Tony? Sort of old-fashioned - Oh, in a lovely way, I mean! It’s having your hair up, and that long skirt - it is pretty! - and you’ve got those wonderful classical features one sees in old paintings…”
Frances blushed again. She wasn’t used to being described in terms that suggested she was beautiful.
“I suppose you’ve left a string of broken hearts behind you in… Where was it?”
“Ludworth. But I haven’t.” She could hardly count John Rowington, whom she’d dated since school, and who’d accepted the news of her departure with depressing equanimity.
“What? No men in your life?” Tony raised his brows at Julia.
“Oh, what a change from darling Shelley! She’s man-mad. We never know who’s going to appear at breakfast.”
Frances gaped at her. Surely they didn’t really allow their nanny to have men staying overnight?
Julia’s eyes dropped. “It’s so hard to get hold of a decent nanny in London,” she said, “ - even when one can offer them everything! I mean, we have this ridiculously large house - all the gadgets and things. Two cars - though Shelley doesn’t drive, of course. Only one little daughter, and she virtually looks after herself…”
“You’ll make Frances sorry she isn’t working for us.”
“Yes, it’s an awful pity… But we can’t exactly… Anyway, Shelley’s a darling really.”
She broke off. They had all heard Lesley’s shrill voice in the passage.
“Oh dear! She’s calling Tobias,” said Frances.
There was a sharp rap at the door and Lesley opened it, glaring at the three of them crammed together on the bed as if she’d caught them taking part in an orgy.
“Tobias and Posy are missing,” she said dramatically. “If you’ve finished showing Mr. and Mrs. Britwell to their room, Nanny, perhaps you would help us search the house.”
* * *
“Oh, you don’t want to worry about them!” Shelley was lying on the bed with her legs apart, in a way Frances found faintly embarrassing. “Pose’ll have taken him off somew
here. She loves having another kid to push around.”
“Mrs. Shirburn’s a bit worried…”
Lesley and Stephen were turning the whole place upside down for their missing heir and his cousin, and a good few remarks had been passed about Frances’s dereliction of duty in failing to keep track of her charge.
“She’s a right old fussy-knickers, isn’t she?” Shelley shifted herself into a more comfortable position. “I reckon she doesn’t get enough, that’s her trouble. Should have seen the carry-on when they came over in the summer - all because Posy took her pants off in the paddling-pool. - He’s a tight-arse ‘n all. Not a flicker when you try it on a bit, just to see if he’s human.”
“You’ve no idea where Posy went, then?”
“Ain’t been no sign of them here. This room’s okay, isn’t it? I had a go with your lippie - hope you don’t mind.”
“I’ll try downstairs, then.”
“Oh yeah. They’ll be lurking somewhere.”
“I can’t think where they can have got to!” Lesley wailed for the umpteenth time. “Have you looked in the garden, Stephen?”
“Oh for heavens sake! It’s pitch dark.”
“So you haven’t. I suppose it’s too much trouble to search for your son on a cold winter’s night. …Such a pity you couldn’t keep an eye on them, Nanny, when we were so busy downstairs!”
Frances bit her lip, forbearing to remind her employer that her nannying duties had been eclipsed by those of parlourmaid.
“Is there a cellar or something?” she ventured.
“The cellar! Oh my God…” Stephen and Lesley bolted downstairs as one.
Frances hovered where they had left her, in the passage outside Julia and Tony’s room. Those wretched children could be hiding anywhere in a house this size, and to be honest she wasn’t really sure what all the fuss was about. What exactly was Lesley afraid Posy would do to Tobias if they weren’t caught in time?
She began to call again, half-heartedly, knowing that if Tobias was in earshot he had no intention of answering.
“Hello, there!” Tony emerged from their room looking dishevelled. “Not found the terrible twins yet? I hope your Tobias isn’t leading our Posy astray.”
A Proper Family Christmas Page 6