It’s supposed to be a game. Like truth or dare, you ask a question, and if they get caught lying, they have to drink. It’s usually harmless fun, because we’re best friends and best friends don’t keep secrets from each other. Besides, we’re already drunk and enjoying ourselves, attracting the attention of the others with our strange accents, our brazen attitudes, and our youth in a way that only over privileged girls from suburbia can.
“Okay my turn,” Anna Beth winks at me, her pretty green eyes glazed over. She’s already drunk, but then I think I am too. I decide to give her an easy out, so that we at least have a hope of making it back to our room tonight without vomiting on a sidewalk somewhere.
“Um, best sex of your life?”
“Oh that’s easy,” she dismissively waves a well-manicured hand, “Jack.”
Anne Marie gasps, her eyes as big as silver dollars as she swings her gaze to me. I’m instantly sober, and my eyes are focused on Anna Beth. She claps her hands over her mouth, as if surprised that she had said it.
Time stops. I can hear the blood rushing in my ears as my heart pounds and the room spins around me. She can’t be talking about my Jack. I anxiously finger the sapphire ring on my left ring finger. Jack had given it to me just last week, when we had promised each other that we would get engaged after we graduated.
We were Jack and Annalise. Our names roll off the tongue naturally, like peanut butter and jelly, because we’ve been together so long. Even though it has only been since the sixth grade Sadie Hawkins dance, it might as well have been from the cradle. So when his name falls off her tongue, I know it can’t be my Jack. My Jack had only ever been with me. My Jack has sworn that he only ever wants to be with me.
But if it is someone else why does she suddenly look so panicked? Why is she biting on her lip, picking at her dress and looking over at Anne Marie for help?
“Drink,” I demand, bile rising in my throat, although I’m not sure if it’s from the anger or the strong beer. “You know the rules, if you lie, you have to drink. Bottoms up.”
“I didn’t….” she stutters, her eyes darting to Anne Marie, silently begging her to help.
Anne Marie looks like a deer in the headlights.
“Fuck, Annalise. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen, and I swear I didn’t want you to find out this way.”
The world falls away and I can feel myself detaching. I press my hand hard to my chest, as if I can somehow hold myself together if I just use enough pressure. “When?”
“Christmas break. Oh, Annalise! I swear it just happened,” she reaches for me. “It didn’t mean anything.”
I snatch my hand back and force myself to stand, my legs shaky but my spine like steel.
“To you. It didn’t mean anything to you. It means something to me.” I can feel the curious gaze of the other patrons on me as they whisper, their eyes riveted. Before, they had watched us because we were young and beautiful. Now they watch us like we’re on some dreadful talk show, there for their entertainment. I’m almost waiting for a camera crew to burst out of the back room and tell me we’re on some reality television show. If we were home, nobody would even notice the scene. They would be too wrapped up in their own drama. But here, in the silence that deepens around us, we are the main attraction.
Anna Beth’s face crumples. I know she is going to start crying, and damned if I don’t want to reach out and tell her it will be okay. How screwed up am I?
“I need to leave,” I mutter, snatching my purse and throwing it over my shoulder.
“Okay, we’ll go,” Anna Beth says agreeably, pushing her chair back.
I hold my hands up in front of me defensively and step back. “No! I need to be away from you right now, Anna Beth, before I say or do something I regret.”
I have to get out of there, before I fall apart. Pulling my shoulders back and wrapping the last shreds of dignity I have around me as if they are armor for my crumbling heart, I march out of the pub.
Before the door shuts, I hear Anne Marie’s voice drift out behind me. “I can’t believe you told her now. You promised Jack you wouldn’t say anything.”
Oh my god. Everyone knew, even sweet Anne Marie who couldn’t hurt a fly knew. I want the ground to swallow me up so I never had to face any of them again.
I rush out of the pub and charge down the darkened street towards the B&B where we are staying. I don’t even know what I’m going to do about that. I can’t sleep in the same room with Anna Beth right now. Maybe not ever again, which kind of screws up our current living arrangements, but I won’t think about that now. What I really want to do is pack my bags and board the first flight back home, but it’s nearly two in the morning where I am. I’ll have to wait until morning to check out and go home.
I look up and check the street signs, turning left at the street corner I remember passing with the girls in the taxi on our way to dinner. The night is chilly and damp, and my thigh-high boots aren’t really made for walking, but there are no cabs passing on the road. It doesn’t bother me, though. I welcome the silence. It’s a good contrast to the roaring mess buzzing around in my brain.
I reach in my bag and pull out my cell phone. My mom had insisted that I get an international plan on it while traveling, in case of emergencies, and as far as I am concerned, this is an emergency. I check for a signal and find I still have one bar left. It will have to be enough. I dial Jacks number, desperate to hear his voice telling me Anna Beth is a liar and my life still makes sense.
“Hello?” Jacks deep voice rumbles on the other end, and I feel my pulse quicken as it always does when I hear it.
It is the last barrier for me, and I release a ragged breath, my eyes filling with tears. “Jack?” I sob.
“Annalise? What’s wrong babe? Are you crying?”
His worried tone wraps around me, soothing me like it always does. He will tell me Anna Beth is lying. He would never hurt me. He has told me that often enough and has never given me a reason to doubt him, so I don’t know why I’m crying. I know Anna Beth is lying—even though I don’t know why.
“Anna Beth says that she slept with you over Christmas break.”
“Shit babe….” his voice drops, and I know then that he did.
I end the call quickly, not wanting to hear his excuses. My phone immediately starts ringing, and I know, without looking, that it’s him, calling to explain, to apologize. Calling to swear that it will never happen again, but I don’t want to hear that. I want to hear that Anna Beth made it all up. I want to hear that he is still who I had believed he was. He’s taken our whole future and thrown it away. The circumstances don’t matter, because they all have the same ending. Me, alone in a foreign country, with my heart shattered.
The phone keeps ringing as I stare at it. I feel myself filling with an uncharacteristic rage. I pull my arm back and throw the phone as hard as I can, hearing the glass shatter on the stones of the road. For a moment, I feel glad for it. The violence of the sound soothes the wild thing that has been created from the ashes of my heart. I pull my jacket tighter around me and thrust my chin up, charging off into the darkness towards the B&B.
My mind is so full of dark thoughts I have to actively repress that it takes me much longer than it should to realize that I am lost. When we had taken the cab to the pub, there had been no pastures, but when I look around, all I see are green fields. I don’t know how long I have walked through the darkness, oblivious to my surroundings, so I’m not sure how far outside of town I am. Thanks to my little incident with my phone, I can’t even use the GPS to figure out where I am.
I turn around, intent on heading back the way I had come, when a thick fog rolls across the field, swallowing me in a sea of haze. I tell myself that as long as I stay on the road, I’ll be fine. This happened a number of times during our trip, a side effect of staying so near the ocean. I don’t think much of it—until I look at my watch and realize that I have been walking for more than an hour. I should be somewhere ne
ar the town again.
The fog seems to grow thicker, the more time passes. Frustrated, I squeeze my eyes shut and scream into the darkness. Can this night get any freaking worse?
Out of the darkness, a sweet melody rises, hovering like the fog and I feel my hopes rise with it. Where there is music, there are people. Maybe they can direct me back to town, maybe even give me a ride? With that thought, I follow the music and feel the soft ground beneath my feet telling me that I have left the road.
I let my ears guide me as I follow the hypnotic music, feeling it curl around me, urging me forward, telling me that all that matters is finding it. Abruptly, the fog parts before me, revealing a circle of stones and a beautiful man in loose clothing and bare feet, a wooden flute pressed to his lips.
His green eyes watch me as he as he continues to play. I wonder what he’s doing here in the dark, in the middle of a field, playing a flute, but I feel like it would be rude to interrupt him to ask. Instead, I let the song weave itself around me, and I feel dazed. When he finally stops and pulls the flute away from his lips, I can barely remember why I had followed the music in the first place; and when he opens his mouth to speak, the memory is gone altogether.
“I have waited long for you to come to me,” his deep voice is strange to my ears, as hypnotic as the flute had been. “You look as though you have shed tears. What has hurt you, fair one?”
“I don’t remember,” I answer flatly and press my fingers to my cheek. They are damp with tears. “I heard the music and I followed it.”
“My flute is special, it can only be heard by those who are meant to hear it. What shall I call you?” He moves towards me, stopping at the edge of the stone circle.
“Annalise.”
“Annalise, I am called Kieran.” He smiles at me and bows, his body folding over while his hands move with a flourish. When he stands upright again, he holds his hand out to me. “Come with me. I can take your pain away and make you whole. You never have to hurt again. I will keep you safe and you will be happy. Come with me…”
I frown through the fog that has moved to my brain, masking the alarm I know I should be feeling at his offer. Instead, the wild thing in my chest whimpers, begging me to accept. It doesn’t want to live in me anymore than I want it to, and against my better judgment and a childhood of lessons about trusting strange men, I put my hand in his.
His long fingers tightly close over mine, and with a tug, he pulls me across the stones into the circle. There’s something about his touch that feels intensely wrong, but I can’t put my finger on it. My skin crawls with the wrongness of it.
Immediately, the ground begins to tremble and shake and a terrible keening noise fills the air. The wind picks up, and Kieran pulls me tightly against him. His eyes don’t seem as kindly now. They look crazed. As the lightning strikes the ground around us, I cry out in alarm. Kieran only smiles and holds me closer.
I’m only just realizing that I’ve made a horrible mistake. As I am making up my mind to run, there is a strange pull at my feet and a tugging inside me as if I am coming out of my own skin. A terrified sob escapes my throat and bright lights begin to flare around me as the lightning picks up speed and intensity. I shut my eyes tightly as I had when I was a child. If I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. But I can still hear it. I can still feel the electricity in the air making my hair stand on end and the ground rumble beneath my feet.
As suddenly as it began, it all stops. I open my eyes slowly and gasp when I see that the landscape has drastically changed around me. We are not in a circle of broken stones, but within a walled garden. Flowers of every color bloom riotously around me, and their unfamiliar scent hangs heavy in the air. Everything is strange, the same and somehow entirely new all at once. Colors are brighter, scents are stronger, and there is a violet haze that shimmers in the air around us, as if I were viewing it through glittering colored spectacles.
“Welcome to Faery, my love,” Kieran happily whispers to me, pressing his cold lips to my cheek.
A shudder of aversion rolls through me. He releases me from his arms, his hand sliding down my forearm to grasp my hand. A trail of goose bumps are left in the wake of his touch, but they aren’t pleasant. Not like the ones I get when Jack touches me. These are more like the ones I get when I’m watching scary movies, waiting for the villain to reveal that they aren’t dead, only waiting for the heroine to drop her guard, so that they can slaughter her.
The endearment catches my attention. The haze that had hovered over my mind a moment ago is gone, and my thoughts are sharp. The wild thing snaps and growls as it paces in my chest, demanding answers.
“Don’t call me that,” I snap and try to step back, but he has my hand locked in his like a vise. “You don’t even know me. I’m staying at the Bed and Breakfast in the village. If you just point me in the right direction, I’ll be out of your hair.”
“I know you, Annalise. I know your heart, broken and torn asunder. But fear not, my lovely. I will make it whole again. Let us go to my home, and I will answer your questions there, but I must caution you not to wander. There are wild beasts here of which you know nothing—beasts that would tear you to pieces simply for existing.”
“Really, I can’t. It’s okay, I’ll figure out the way myself.”
“I am afraid I cannot allow that, Annalise. You are mine, and you will not leave my side unless I will it so, and I assure you, that will not happen.”
He must see the fear in my eyes, because he tenderly runs the fingers of his other hand over my cheeks. I try to move away from his touch, but he only smiles patiently at me. “Do not be frightened, dearest love. I shall protect you from any that would do you harm.”
“Who will protect me from you?” I whisper, finally realizing that I am in serious trouble. I’m lost in the woods, in a strange country, with a madman who probably wants to turn my skin into designer jeans. I’ll take the hose. He can keep the damn lotion.
“You will need no protection from me, as long as you joyfully fulfill your duties. I can be a easy master,” he seems surprised by my question, “and as long as you are an obedient wife, I shall be a good husband.”
Wife? Husband? Oh hell no. I start planning how to get away.
Kieran continues to chatter about our ‘life’ together while he leads me away from the walled garden. I’m not listening to him. I’m putting all those ‘What to do if’ survival shows that Jack likes to watch to good use. I’m watching my surroundings and looking for landmarks that will lead me back. There aren’t many. This landscape is just as full of green rolling hills as the one I got lost in, but I can tell the sea is to my left. I can hear the waves crashing in the distance. At least that tells me that we’re heading north. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to resist being moved, or wait for my chance. The iron grip he has on my wrists, and the fanatical look in his eyes, tells me I’m not getting away easily, so I opt for the latter.
The land slopes gently, and I can see that he has been leading me to a large, yellow manor house at the top of a hill. I dig my feet in, suddenly afraid of when we get there. I don’t know what’s going to happen in that house, but I know I don’t want to find out.
“It is a beautiful sight, is it not, my love?” Kieran says proudly, smiling at me like he expects me to agree with him. When I don’t answer, his grip tightens slightly and his eyes turn cold. “I am sure you will be happy here when you grow accustomed to it.”
“You can’t honestly expect me to be happy after you just kidnapped me?” the words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them.
His eyes flashing dangerously are the only warning I get before I feel the sharp sting of his hand against my face, sparks of color flashing behind my eyes and I crumple to the ground under the force of his blow. I want to run, but I feel dazed, unable to clear my thoughts from the fog.
“You are bleeding. You should not say such things to me, it upsets me,” he sighs, looking like I’m the one who has just injured him instead of
the other way around. “You came to me because you are meant to be mine, Annalise, and I wish you wouldn’t make me punish you further.”
He offers his hand, and I eye it warily. I want to cry. I want to curse at him and rage, but I realize the time for that will come later. Tears prick behind my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I have to be smart. I have to earn his trust, and then when the time comes, I can escape.
I put my hand in his and allow him to pull me to my feet. His eyes immediately warm up and he smiles approvingly at me. Clasping my hand in his, he wraps his fingers between mine as if we really are the lovers he has convinced himself we are. I am terrified at how his emotions shift faster than the tides. He is dangerous, and it only reaffirms my desire to flee as soon as it is safe to do so.
“It can be so easy between us, my love. Yield to me in all things, and I will give you everything.”
His easy smile sends shivers down my spine, and I force a weak smile in reply.
“Do you doubt the strength of my conviction?”
He watches me expectantly, and I shake my head. “No,” I whisper, feeling sick. “I believe you.”
“Good. Then let me show you your new home.”
I allow him to lead me to the house, and I feel dread sweep over me. I don’t want to go in that house, but I can no longer see a way out of it.
He opens the heavy door and gestures for me to enter. I take a deep breath, pulling my shoulders back as I enter. It would be beautiful if I wasn’t viewing it as my new prison, with gleaming wood floors and delicately furnished. I can hear the rise and fall of voices, and I tense. Kieran pulls me through the entrance and through a door on the right, towards the sounds.
It’s a dining room, and it is full of people who all stop and stare when I enter. All of the men, and many of the women, look like Kieran, with pale coloring and cold eyes that seem devoid of compassion. I move behind him, as if he would shelter me from their gaze. He chuckles and moves me back to his side, seeming pleased by my desire to use him as a shield—as if I have forgotten that he brought me here against my will, as if he thinks I look to him for safety.
Tales of the Fairy Anthology Page 19