He watched her turn over the fertile dirt, pulling out weeds, snipping off dead blooms. No matter where he was on the property, he could always smell the flowers.
My great-grandparents homesteaded this land.
I will never sell.
For just a moment, Jared wondered what it would feel like to belong to a family with that kind of history. Permanence.
He rubbed his hand across his eyes and through his hair. Jenny would never sell this land; he could see that now. And a part of him couldn’t blame her. Once, he, too, would have held on just as tightly. But now he knew the truth; it didn’t matter how hard you held on. Some things . . . someones . . . would never stay.
Jared pushed open the screen door and made his way across the lawn to the hangar. He didn’t look at her . . . he couldn’t. Understanding what this land meant to her changed things. It made what he had to do all that much harder. But he wasn’t giving up. There was always a next step. Another way. He just had to figure out what it was.
Anna had been at her new job for less than a week, but she already knew that with her promotion had come an even crazier, more hectic whirlwind of a schedule. And she loved every minute. From the moment she’d arrived at the hospital at six thirty (a full hour earlier than she normally started) she’d been going nonstop. She’d thought the extra hour would give her a much-needed head start on everything she had to accomplish, but it was already three in the afternoon, and there were still a full five hours of work ahead of her.
She grabbed a cup of coffee and headed into her office, desperately needing a break, no matter how short a one. Shutting the door behind her, she drew in her first easy breath of the day. Through the closed door, she could still hear the supercharged energy of the hospital. She sat down at her desk and took a drink of her coffee. The hot caffeine went a long way toward perking her up.
All day she’d been trying to find a spare moment to call her mom. But somehow the hours had slipped away. Anna knew if she didn’t make time now, the day would fly by, and by the time she got home, it would be too late to call. She reached for the phone.
“Hidden Lake Bistro and Art Gallery. How may I help you?”
“Mom?”
“Anna, honey. How wonderful to hear from you.”
“How was your trip?”
“Quiet.” Her mother said that as if it was a bad thing. Which, to her mom, it was. She liked to be active every minute of the day (much like Anna), while her dad, now that he was retired, was content to pretty much take it easy. “Why Joe and Deb ever moved to Alaska is beyond me,” her mom said, referring to their longtime friends. “But it was wonderful to see them again. Your father caught enough fish to last two lifetimes.” She laughed softly. “Be prepared for a fish fry when he comes home.”
“Dad didn’t come back with you?”
“No. He decided to stay for an extra week or so. He and Joe are having too much fun pretending to be wilderness men.” Her mom laughed again. “And like your father said, if he can’t have a flexible schedule when he’s retired, what’s the good of being retired?”
That sounded just like her father. “You didn’t want to stay?”
“No time. I’m about to launch a new artist, and I have to make a decision this week on the caterer and band for the charity ball. Why is it I never remember how much time that event requires?”
“You say that every year.”
“Jenny told me the same thing.”
“It’s true. So, tell me, how many pictures did Dad take?”
“Let’s just say you should factor in a couple of extra hours on your next visit,” her mother warned, a smile in her voice. “By the time I left, he had enough to fill at least three photo albums.”
“I might not have time,” Anna said. “I got the promotion, Mom.”
“Oh, Anna. I’m so proud of you.”
The pride she heard in her mother’s voice went a long way toward making her lingering disappointment vanish.
“I bet Phillip was just as excited.”
Anna didn’t answer. She still hadn’t heard from Phillip, but that wasn’t news she wanted to share, even with her mother. As days piled one on top of the other, Anna had put aside her pride and picked up the phone. Twice she’d tried calling Phillip. Twice she hadn’t been able to reach him. She felt a flare of anger. Why did it seem as if she was the only one trying in this relationship?
“When do you start?” her mom asked.
“I already have.”
“That was quick.”
Anna explained about Dr. Bernard’s wife, concluding with, “Understandably, he’s taken a lot of time off lately, and so we’re behind and understaffed. I’m going to have to work most weekends. Actually, that’s the main reason I called. I have to work this weekend, and I was hoping you could watch Cody.”
“Oh, honey, I would love to except I’m going to be in Seattle. Meetings for the charity ball.” Her mom paused. “But Cody could always come with me. I know it wouldn’t be much fun for him, but I wouldn’t mind.”
But her son would. And he’d make his grandmother’s life miserable in the process. Plus there was his baseball game. Anna didn’t even want to think of the fit he’d throw if he had to miss it. “Thanks, Mom, but I don’t want to put you out.”
“I’d love to have him.”
“It’s okay, Mom. Really.”
“I hate to leave you in a bind.”
“I’ll think of something.” The hospital paging system went off, and Anna heard her name being called. “Maybe Paul could watch Cody.”
“Paul’s working weekends, too, since he hasn’t found a partner.” Her mom paused, then said, “What about Jenny?”
Anna wouldn’t trust her sister with a goldfish, let alone her son.
“I know what you’re thinking,” her mother said.
Anna seriously hoped not.
“Give her a call. She’d love to help you out.”
The hospital paging system sounded again. “Mom, I don’t mean to rush off, but I have to go.”
“Call your sister.”
“I’ll think about it,” Anna hedged, wondering if her mom could hear the lie in her voice.
NINE
The calls had started at seven.
Jenny had wondered how long her reprieve would last. She knew she had at least a week while her parents were on vacation. And without her mother around to keep everyone up to date, Paul and Anna wouldn’t find out until her parents returned home. Naively Jenny had thought maybe she’d even have an extra day or two after they got back from Alaska. But mere hours after returning home, her mother had been on the phone.
The local gossip mill must have been working overtime to get the news to her so quickly.
“Is it true?” her mother had immediately asked.
Still groggy with sleep, Jenny scooched up in bed, pulling her pillow with her. Checking caller ID could have saved her a world of hurt. Then again, knowing her mother, Catherine would have just driven over if Jenny hadn’t picked up the phone. “Hi, Mom. How was your trip?”
“Fine. Relaxing. Your father decided to stay an extra week for more fishing.” Her mother said fishing like it was one of the seven mortal sins. She also sounded anything but relaxed. “But don’t change the subject. Is it true?”
Twenty-six years had taught Jenny that stalling only made the situation worse. “It’s true.”
“Jennifer. He’s living with you?”
“Sort of.”
“Either he is or he isn’t.”
Jenny squeezed her eyes shut, knowing a headache was only minutes away. “Only temporarily.”
There was a long pause, and Jenny braced herself. She’d been so sure a week would have been plenty of time to get rid of Jared. That he’d be long gone before her parents found out.
“Hmmm.”
Hmmm?What the heck did hmmm mean?
“Maybe this isn’t as bad as I first thought.”
Jenny’s eyes flew open, and she ja
ckknifed to a sit. “Excuse me?”
“Well, I’ve never liked you living out there all by yourself. You know that. It’s too isolated. I really wish you would move back here. This is your home. And it’s only a ten-minute drive to your place. An easy enough commute to your business.”
Jenny’s headache came on full force. They’d had this same discussion a hundred different times, a hundred different ways, and it always ended the same way, with her mother still holding out hope that Jenny would “come to her senses” and move back home.
“You have nothing to worry about,” Jenny said, bringing the conversation back around. “I have everything under control. He won’t be here that long.”
“That’s not what your brother told me.”
“You’ve talked to Paul?”
“Naturally. He was kind enough to fill me in on everything.”
Jenny had no idea what “everything” meant, but she wasn’t about to ask. Turns out, she didn’t need to.
“After Paul explained exactly who Jared Worth is and what his relationship had been to Steven, I’m feeling much better about the situation.” There was a pause while her mother took a drink of her ritual one cup of coffee in the morning. “I think it will be a good thing for you to have someone living out on the lake with you.”
Jenny fell back against her headboard. “You’re kidding, right?”
“You know your father and I are always here if you need anything, but if you choose to go your own route on this, well, like I said, I feel better knowing you have some . . . protection.”
Jenny let the protection comment slide—the crime rate in Hidden Lake was practically nonexistent—but they both knew what anything meant. All Jenny had to do was ask her parents for the money to repay Jared, and he’d be gone.
She couldn’t kid herself; she was tempted. Like she had been several times before. But unlike before, she was determined to find her own way out of this.
Jenny assured her mother that she had everything handled and not to worry. After enduring a few minutes more of her mother’s advice, the call ended.
The moment she hung up, the phone rang again almost immediately. This time she had the presence of mind to check the caller ID.
“Morning, Paul,” Jenny said.
“Mother called.”
“Surprise, surprise.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you.”
Jenny couldn’t disagree more.
“We’re just worried about you, Jelly Belly,” her brother continued. “You have to know that.”
The familiar nickname and the concern in her brother’s voice was her undoing. Her throat clogged with a week’s full of stress and strain. “Don’t be. You know Steven couldn’t even stand to live with me full-time.” She tried to hide her hurt behind a teasing tone.
“That’s not true.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and she wiped them away. “You’re right. He only kept the apartment above his parents’ garage to escape my family’s early phone calls.”
Paul’s laughter was a little too loud and a little too forced, but Jenny loved him all the more for it. “Could you blame the guy?”
Jenny felt herself start to get back onto even ground. “Heck no.” She drew in a breath, then confided to her brother, “Jared’s the Ghost, Paul.”
There was a pause while the impact of her words sank in. “You’re sure?” Paul finally said.
“Yes.”
“Wow.” Paul paused. “The way Steven used to talk about that guy. Remember that time we were at Steven’s parents’ house and Steven couldn’t stop talking about how amazing the Ghost flew and Steven’s dad finally interrupted and said there was no way anyone could be that good. Steven was silent for the longest time, and then he said the Ghost was.”
“Yeah, I remember.” She also remembered how Steven’s voice had taken on an almost reverent tone when he spoke of the Ghost . . . of Jared. Steven had all but worshipped at the tips of Jared’s wings.
“Hey, have you . . .”
Paul didn’t even have to finish his thought for Jenny to know what he was asking. “No. Steven’s parents are still down in Arizona. Half-here, half-there, remember?” She hadn’t seen them since the funeral. A part of her had been relieved that they’d left so soon after the funeral. Bumping in to them would be another painful reminder of everything she’d lost. Everything they’d all lost.
All of a sudden, Jenny couldn’t stay in bed a moment longer. “Listen, Paul, I’ve got a full day. I really need to go.”
It wasn’t the complete truth, but she had to get off the phone and now. She didn’t want to talk about Steven, about his living and not living here. Or his parents and how Jenny hadn’t found the courage to face them since the funeral.
“I’m here for you, Jelly Belly. Just say the word, and Jared is gone.”
“Sweet, but slightly overprotective. You can back off, Paul. I have it handled. Really,” she said, not sure if she was trying to convince him or herself.
Now, an hour later, Jenny sat the edge of her yard and buried her feet into the sand. Tiny pebbles and rough grains filtered through her bare toes and over her feet. It wasn’t even nine in the morning, but already the lake was alive with activity. A bright Saturday in May that promised unseasonable warm weather would do that.
Shielding her eyes from the sun, she could make out several of her neighbors from her spot on the shore. A handful of fishing boats speckled the large lake as they trolled near the shorelines, while a group of teenagers braved the cold water for a few hours of waterskiing. Their rock music and loud voices echoed across the water. Each time they sped past Mr. Wilcox, their wake tipped and rocked his shallow aluminum boat. Grabbing the boat’s side with one hand, he raised the other, fist clenched, and shouted out an obscenity that was thankfully obscured by the music.
Bracing her hands behind her in the thick grass, she tilted her face upward, closing her eyes against the sharp rays. Warm sun beat down on her, and the heady fragrance of her grandmother’s flowers surrounded her. Not for the first time did Jenny wonder what her grandmother would say about the mess she was in.
Spilled milk don’t clean itself.
Her nana’s voice came to her swift and clear. How many times had Jenny heard that old saying? But even Nana had to see that this mess wasn’t so easily taken care of. For days she’d been trying to figure out a way to improve the business’s bottom line. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t figure out a way. And then there was her other worry: one very large, very intimidating, heartbreakingly handsome worry working in the hangar behind her.
With a small shake of her head, she tried to concentrate on anything other than Jared. She listened to the music blaring from the kids’ boat, she listened for Mr. Wilcox’s raised voice, she strained to hear the lawn mower coming from next door, but none of it did any good. No matter how hard she tried, she could not force him from her mind.
Everywhere she went, he was there, making her feel like an intruder in her own house, in her own yard. In her own business. Whenever she turned around, she saw him watching her . . . judging her. She wasn’t sure what unsettled her more: the watching or the judging. Her whole life she’d been judged by her family and had been found lacking; she should be used to it by now. But there was something different in the way Jared looked at her. His gaze held an intensity she’d never seen before. Like he could look deep into her soul and see her every doubt, her every insecurity. And her every mistake.
Then there were the other times when those looks had nothing to do with uncovering her darkest failures and everything to do with uncovering her deepest secrets.
He crowded her mind, made her forget—and worse—made her remember. And each time her body responded to him, she felt so much guilt. As if Steven were alive and she was cheating on him.
A part of her wanted to pack her bags and run away like she had as a child. Except, back then, she’d always escaped to the safety of Nana’s house. But the reality was,
she still felt safe here. Even with Jared here. Maybe because he was here. And that was definitely not something she wanted to examine too closely.
After Steven had died, all Jenny had wanted was to be left alone. When her family kept showing up, trying to comfort her, she had been quick to push them away. She told them she was happy living by herself on the lake. And she was. She still was. But as much as she hated to admit it, sometime during this last week, she had started to find solace knowing someone else was in the house. There was a strength about Jared that she couldn’t deny. He possessed an air about him she’d never sensed in another man. Not even Steven. It was there in the way Jared walked, the way he spoke, and the quiet restlessness that seemed to keep him on alert at all times.
Her hands bunched in the grass as she fought against the wave of guilt that rolled over her. How could she be so disloyal? She fought for and found a mental picture of Steven. In her mind she saw his sandy blond hair, his smiling face. But then his hair changed color, turned an ebony black. And his green eyes became hard blue sapphires.
Water skiers roared past, startling her. Waves slapped angrily against the beach and splashed across the sand.
She sat up and looped her arms around her bent knees, trying to stop her trembling.
Steven her mind begged, looking for forgiveness.
A loud bang came from the hangar, but she didn’t turn around. Jared was inside doing heaven only knew what. Over the last week, he’d laid claim to the space, and Jenny seemed to be the only one who had a problem with that. Zeke took it all in stride, acting as if he enjoyed having another guy around the place. Several times Jenny found herself working up her courage to confront him, to remind him that this was her business, and she was in charge. But whenever she was near him, he threw her off balance and made her forget what she wanted to say.
She picked up a rock and tossed it in the water. Maybe her family and friends were right. Maybe she did need to get out. For so many months, she’d gone out of her way to distance herself from friends and even her family to the extent they’d allow it. Being around people only reminded her of everything she had lost. Living had been replaced by mere existing. Living meant you laughed and you loved. Existing was just basic survival. You could be numb when you just existed. Numb was good. Numb kept her from feeling a pain so crippling it would destroy her.
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