They laughed, and Jenny once more felt a sense of peace. This was right. She was doing the right thing.
“What about Taylor?” she asked Maddy.
“A terror on two legs,” Maddy said with a smile full of love. “That boy of mine is never still. What I wouldn’t give for energy like that.”
“Hear, hear,” Sharron said. “I—”
Whatever she’d been about to say was cut off by the deep, throaty rumble of a motorcycle coming down the driveway. And with that sound, Jenny’s sense of peace flew right up into the starry sky.
Conversation ceased as four pairs of curious eyes looked at her. Maddy was the first to speak. “Who do we have here?”
Jenny couldn’t answer. Her gaze followed her friends’ to the lone figure on the bike. Her heart seemed to catch, stutter, then kick into overdrive as she watched Jared park alongside the Corvette. She knew there was the chance he’d return while her friends were still here; she should have insisted they meet up somewhere else. Tonight held enough challenges without having to deal with Jared and the tangled mess of emotions that always plagued her whenever he was near. But she’d desperately wanted to be on familiar ground for this first reunion.
Slowly, she unfolded her legs and sat up. “No one important,” was all she could say.
The engine fell silent, and the bike’s single headlight doused. Once more the fire was the only light. But even in the darkness, Jared’s tall form was unmistakable as he swung his leg over the bike and removed his helmet.
“That doesn’t look like ‘no one’ to me,” Maddy said, eyeing Jenny. “This wouldn’t happen to be your infamous partner? The one the whole town is buzzing about? I wondered if he’d make an appearance tonight. Don,” she said to her husband, “go over and make sure he joins us.”
Jenny felt her insides drop. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Maddy gave her a twinkling smile. “After everything I’ve heard about him? I do.”
“So do I,” Sharron said, walking over to the nearby picnic table and refilling her margarita.
Don and Jared made their way toward them. Jared wore a pair of faded Levi’s, a dark shirt, and his black leather jacket. His boots sank into the sand with each step. It was practically the same outfit she’d seen him in all week. There was absolutely nothing about it that should trip her heart and cause her breathing to come a little quicker. Nothing at all.
Jenny was saved from having to make introductions as Don took over. When Rob and Jared were introduced, Rob stood and shook Jared’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise.” Jared withdrew his arm and shoved his hand halfway down the front pocket of his Levi’s. “I didn’t know you had friends over,” he said, looking to Jenny. Firelight softened his features, and she felt the weight of his deep blue stare all the way to her marrow. “I’ll leave you all to it. It was nice to meet everyone.”
She should have felt relieved. He was leaving just like she wanted. But as their gazes stayed connected, something passed between them. That look tugged at her and had her saying, “Why don’t you join us?”
Jared looked as surprised as she felt.
“Yes, stay,” Maddy chimed in. “We’re harmless.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Sharron joked. “But no one will bring out a guitar and force you to sing ‘Kumbaya’ or ‘Michael, Row the Boat Ashore.’ You have my word.”
“There goes my fun for the evening,” Rob joked.
Jared hesitated. It was so brief, Jenny was sure no one else caught it. Then he stepped around her and took the only vacant seat, the one next to her.
Don grabbed a beer out of the cooler and handed it to Jared.
“Thanks,” Jared said, reaching across Jenny to grab the bottle. His arm was so close that if she leaned forward just a fraction, his sleeve would brush against her.
“What do you think of Hidden Lake?” Maddy asked.
Jared popped the top off his beer. “Small.”
Sharron nodded her head. “Give me a big city any day.”
“Are you from around here?” Maddy asked.
“No.”
“Where did you grow up?”
He took a drink. “No one place in particular.”
Maddy shifted in her seat. “How long do you plan on staying?”
Jared’s deep blue gaze sought and found Jenny’s. “Depends.”
There was a world of meaning in that single glance, and Jenny wasn’t the only one who noticed. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Maddy and Sharron exchange a knowing look.
Don laughed and wrapped his arm around Maddy’s shoulders, pulling her close. He gave her a kiss on her forehead. “You’ll have to excuse my wife. Before she decided to stay home with our son, she was a newspaper reporter. Always looking for a story.”
Maddy gave him a playful jab in the ribs.
“I ran into Paul last week,” Don said to no one in particular. Then he turned to Jared. “He told me you and Steven were in the same squadron. The Fighting Eagles, right?”
“Falcons,” Jared said, raising his beer and taking a long drink. “Fighting Falcons.”
“Steven always was a sucker for speed,” Maddy said, smiling gently at Jenny.
Jenny returned her smile, feeling only a small tug on her heart. “Yes, he was.”
“Remember that old Thunderbird his parents bought him our sophomore year?” Don said. “A rusted-out hunk of shit if there ever was one. But he loved that car.”
Yes, he had. So had Jenny. She’d lost her virginity in the backseat.
“Isn’t that the car you two took drag racing?” Maddy asked her husband.
Don laughed. “We caught a bucket load of shit when we got home that night.”
Maddy shoved her hands into the pockets of her fleece coat. “If Taylor ever pulled a stunt like that, disappeared for hours without a clue to where he was, I don’t know what I’d do.”
“I do,” Don said. “You’d send me out to find him.”
Maddy nodded. “Sad, but true.”
Everyone chuckled.
From there the conversation took a turn down memory lane. Don trotted out one crazy story after the other about the stunts he and Steven had pulled all through school while Rob added a few stories from more recent years. Never ones to stay quiet, Maddy and Sharron jumped in, adding their versions to the mix. Soon, everyone was laughing and talking and telling one silly childhood story after another. Everyone except Jared.
Jenny glanced his way. In the warm glow of the firelight, she searched his profile, but his expression gave nothing away. He listened to the stories, smiled, and laughed in all the right places. But he never added a story of his own. Not a single childhood memory about summer camp or how his parents had grounded him for staying out too late. No mention of siblings or pets or a torturous family road trip. Not once during the whole evening did Jenny get a single glimpse into Jared Worth’s life. She couldn’t help but sense he was keeping a part of himself separate. Distant.
She glanced around their small group, certain someone else would have also picked up on it, but no one had.
She couldn’t shake the feeling that Jared’s childhood had been anything but normal.
A log fell in the fire and sent a shower of sparks upward.
Rob pushed up his sleeve and glanced at his watch. “I hate to be the party pooper, but we’d better get going. We only have the sitter until nine thirty.”
“Is it that late already?” Don stood and held out his hand to Maddy.
She took his hand. “When did nine get to be late?” she said jokingly as she stood up.
Don shrugged into his flannel shirt. “The minute we became parents.”
Sharron laughed in agreement.
When Maddy and Sharron tried to clean up, Jenny shooed them away. “My party, my mess.” They argued, but she was adamant.
Before Maddy climbed into the passenger side of their truck, she gave Jenny a hug. “Tonight was good.”
Maddy stared at her a moment longer. “Don’t be a stranger.”
“I won’t.”
“And, Jenny?”
“Yeah?”
Maddy motioned to Jared. “Go for it. I would.”
Maddy was still laughing when Don climbed into the truck and drove off. Sharron and Rob’s car was right behind them.
Jenny watched until their taillights had disappeared. Turning, she made her way back to the beach, telling herself it was because she needed to clean up. But the moment she saw Jared’s solitary figure down near the lake, she knew that wasn’t what had brought her back.
Slowly, she made her way toward him.
He looked so alone, standing at the water’s edge, staring out across the flat, dark surface of the lake. Jenny didn’t know what it was—the soft night air, the starry sky, the glow of the campfire in the near distance—but something made her want to reach out to Jared. To walk up to him, put her arms around him, and hold him tight. Assure him he wasn’t alone in this world.
The idea was so preposterous, she stumbled in the sand.
In an instant, Jared was there, reaching out, holding on to her arm and steadying her. Under his hand, heat infused her skin.
“I like your friends,” he said as the breeze blew through his hair.
She wondered if he could feel how erratic her pulse had grown. “They liked you.”
Even in the darkness, she could see him shrug, as if he didn’t believe her words.
He let go of her arm. Instantly, she missed his touch. He reached down and picked up a rock from the beach, tossing it a couple of times in his hand before throwing it into the lake. In the still night they heard the soft kerplunk as the rock hit the water.
Jared stared out at the dark lake for several moments before shoving his fingers down into the pocket of his Levi’s and slowly turning to her. “May I ask you a question?”
“Turnabout is fair play.”
He laughed softly then looked back out across the lake, not saying anything for the longest time. “What the hell is ‘Kumbaya’?”
She started to laugh, then stopped, realizing he was serious. “You don’t know?”
He kicked at a fallen log near his boot. “No.”
Looking at him now reminded her of an earlier thought she’d had tonight. When she’d wondered at just what kind of childhood he’d had. “Weren’t you in Scouts?”
He shot her a puzzled look.
“Cub Scouts. Boy Scouts.”
He laughed, but the sound held no mirth. “No.”
What type of childhood had he had? The question kept circling back around to her. “ ‘Kumbaya’ is a folk song sung at just about every Scout campout there is. Don’t ask me why.”
He nodded, and once more she was struck with the desire to reach out and touch him. Hold him. Instead, she found herself confiding, “My nana always told me this lake was magical. That this water could heal almost anything.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Has it healed you, Jenny?”
He said her name like it was a caress. “Yes,” she answered. Then, “Almost.” She searched the shadowy planes of his face. “What about you, Jared? What do you need healed?”
“Nothing.”
“I think you’re lying.”
His dark face gave nothing away. “Believe what you want.”
“I don’t know anything about you.”
“There’s nothing worth telling.”
She knew he was wrong.
Shallow waves rolled up the beach then washed back out.
“Tell me about your childhood.”
She waited, and when the silence became too much, she said, “Please.”
“Leave it alone,” he said in a low, toneless voice.
Boldly, she placed her hand on his chest. Soft cotton covered a wall of hard muscles. “I can’t.”
He reached up, as if to pull her hand away. But, instead, his hand closed around hers. The warmth of him seeped through her shirt and onto her skin right above her heart. The weight of his hand kept hers there for several moments before he pulled hers away.
“Cody told me you haven’t seen your mother since you were eight. Is that true?”
He cursed softly. “Believe me, you don’t want to hear about my childhood.”
“Yes,” she said quietly, “I do.”
Silence stretched out between them.
“Is it true?” she asked again when he didn’t answer.
He looked at her. Even in the semidarkness, the intensity of his blue gaze shot straight through her.
“One question, remember,” she said.
“You already asked your question.”
She shook her head.
“About if I was in Scouts.”
“That didn’t count.”
He reached out and cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand. “Why not?”
The feel of his hand on her stole her breath. “One real question. Please.”
He rubbed his thumb underneath her jaw. “One real question.”
Are you going to break my heart? But she feared she already knew the answer. “When was the last time you saw your mother?”
He let out a ragged breath and took his hand away, averting his gaze to the lake. “When I was eight.”
“But how? Why?”
He shoved his hand back into his pockets. “What do you want to hear? That one day my mother left and never came back? Threw me out like an old pair of shoes?”
“Jared . . .” She couldn’t imagine the type of childhood he was describing. “Where did you live?”
“Drop it, Jenny.”
But she couldn’t. “Where?”
He angled his head and looked at her. “Has anyone ever told you that you are stubborn?”
“I prefer tenacious.”
A reluctant grin tugged at his lips.
“Where?” she asked for the third time.
“I grew up a ward of the state.”
“What about your father?”
“What about him? Nancy never knew which one of the many guys she’d been sleeping with knocked her up.”
“What about foster homes?”
“Didn’t work.”
Even though his tone was expressionless, his words tore at her. She felt the sting of tears. No father. No mother. No home. No child should have to endure anything so painful. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.”
“Don’t,” he said again, his voice low and harsh.
“Don’t what?”
He tipped her chin up. Wiped away her tears with the pad of his thumb. “Pity me.”
She searched his dark eyes. “I’m not.” It was the truth.
“I was just thinking how amazing you are. To have endured so much and instead of letting it crush you, you excelled.”
“Jenny,” he said her name like a prayer. “What am I going to do with you?” He didn’t wait for an answer; instead, he pulled her against him and slowly lowered his mouth to her. The touch of his lips on hers stole her breath. She didn’t think; she reacted. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and sank into him. She tilted her head back and opened her mouth. He growled low in the back of his throat and deepened the kiss. Spirals of hot desire started low in her stomach and spread outward until her whole body was on fire. She stretched up on her toes to fit herself more firmly against his warm, hard body. His hands wrapped around her and lifted her tightly against him. He buried his face in the side of her neck, whispered her name over and over, before reclaiming her mouth in a kiss that seared her all the way to her soul.
In the end, it was Jared who pulled back. “Go,” he said, “before I do something we’ll both regret.”
As Jared watched Jenny run to the house, he wondered where in the hell he’d found the strength to pull away from her. Raw desire ate at his gu
t. She intoxicated him, filled him with a wanting that all but overpowered him. Holding her, he’d almost been able to delude himself that the type of future he used to dream about was still a possibility.
I was just thinking how amazing you are. To have endured so much and instead of letting it crush you, you excelled.
The cool night air washed over him, tried to cool his overheated body. If she only knew the truth. He hadn’t excelled; he’d fucked up. Again. It was the same thing that happened every time he let his emotions get involved.
He looked up at the inky dark sky. If he’d only stayed detached, he’d still be up there and not down on the ground kissing Jenny with a fervor he prayed would drive everyone else from her mind—would drive Steven from her mind. But how was a man supposed to stay detached when innocent people were being slaughtered? How was he supposed to buy into a set of rules that were based solely on politics rather than what was just?
He walked back to the fire, doused it. As he watched the wood hiss and steam, he lost the battle to forget about his past . . . forget about the day he lost everything.
There had been nothing unusual about that day. He’d been flying a regular mission, just about ready to head back to the carrier, when his radar had picked up something. He was on fumes, but that hadn’t stopped him from investigating further. What he found made his stomach turn. Refugees were being slaughtered by the hundreds as they fled from attack. It was an all-out massacre. Witnessing what was happening, Jared didn’t think about anything but saving innocent lives. Not his CO’s command nor the rules of engagement. He’d done what he thought was right; he provided air support until the refugees found safety. But by doing so, it had cost him his career. His life.
The front door slammed shut. He dropped his gaze from the sky and looked out across the dark yard to Jenny’s house. He would not make the same mistake again. Stay detached. It was the only way he knew how to survive. But as he continued to stare at her house, something told him that this time was going to be a hell of a lot tougher than anything he’d faced before.
FIFTEEN
As the following week unfolded, the weather took a turn. Heavy, dark clouds rolled in and hung low in the sky. The sun turned weak and the air cold. The rain came slowly at first, a splattering of droplets here, a heavier mist there, almost as if Mother Nature couldn’t make up her mind. Even though the calendar read June, no one was surprised by the weather. Those few bright, sun-filled days at the end of May had been an unexpected gift, something every Seattleite had known and not taken for granted. Summer clothes might have been brought out and worn, but no one had packed away their jeans and sweaters. As Jenny stared out the front window, she couldn’t help but think how the weather perfectly mirrored her mood.
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