He untied her robe and kissed the soft hollow of her neck, then trailed kisses down until he reached the rounded top of her breast. “I’m an idiot.”
She laughed, and neither of them cared that the food got cold.
Sometime around eight, the phone rang.
“Let it ring,” Jared said.
Jenny kissed his jaw and decided that morning stubble only added to his good looks. “It’s probably my mother, and if I don’t answer, she’ll drive over.”
With a growl of sexual frustration that matched her own, he gave her a playful push. “We don’t want that. But make it fast.” His smile was full of wicked promises.
Jenny grabbed her robe and went into her bedroom, the room with the nearest phone. “Hi, Mom,” she said automatically, not bothering to glance at the caller ID. Her mother was the only person who ever called this early in the morning.
There was a long pause. “This is Captain Tom Beckett. I’m trying to reach Commander Jared Worth.”
For no reason she could define, Jenny suddenly felt cold. Ignoring the impulse to deny that there was anyone here by that name, she said, “One moment, please.”
She carefully set the phone down and went back to the other room.
“The call is for you,” she said to Jared. “A Captain Beckett, I think he said.”
An expression she couldn’t read came over Jared’s face. Without a word, he got out of the bed, pulled on his Levi’s without underwear, and went to take the call.
Jenny sank down on the bed and waited.
She didn’t know how much time had passed when Jared walked back in. One look at his face, and she knew.
“Tell me.”
He didn’t join her on the bed. “That was my CO. He not only refused to accept the resignation I gave him months ago, he fought to clear my record.” Jared shook his head. “Him and that damn Hart.”
“I thought . . .”
His gaze didn’t quite meet hers. “What?”
Tears burned the back of her eyes. After last night she’d thought a lot of things. Most of all, she’d thought about a forever with Jared. She’d given him everything—her heart . . . her soul. Her love.
But last night when she’d told Jared she’d loved him, he’d never said the words back to her. He’d taken her in his arms, worshipped her with his hands and mouth. And with his every touch and caress, she’d let herself believe he loved her, too. But now, looking into his eyes, she knew it wasn’t true. There was only one love in Jared’s life, and it wasn’t Jenny.
She swallowed hard. “I thought you were done with the military.” It was a pointless question, and they both knew it. Flyboys fly. How could she have forgotten that undeniable truth?
“So did I.” He didn’t say anything for a moment. “When I tendered my resignation, I accepted that my days of flying jets were over. But now . . .” He stopped, and Jenny didn’t need him to say any more.
He had his career back. The life he wanted. A life that couldn’t include her. She didn’t need him to tell her what this call meant for them. She knew.
Flyboys fly.
She left the room before he could see her tears.
Jared watched Jenny go. He started to follow her, then stopped. What could he say to her?
What they’d had last night—he knew that wasn’t enough to build a life on. He tried to shut out the memories of how much pleasure she’d given him. More than he’d ever received. For the first time in his life, he wanted to wake up next to a woman. To have her right beside him all night so he could reach out and touch her anytime he wanted. Just to make sure she was still there. Last night had been about a hell of a lot more than sex.
I love you, Jared.
Once more he heard Jenny’s soft declaration. He knew she believed she was in love with him. Just like he knew she wanted to hear the words from him. Words Jared had never said to anyone. Didn’t believe he ever would . . . could. It was yet another thing that proved he wasn’t the type of man she wanted. She wanted someone who could say, “I love you.” Who could be a part of a family. Part of her family. Someone she could cook waffles for on the weekend—
I made all of your favorites. No one else had ever known what his favorites were.
Someone who would be home every night for dinner, be around for family barbeques, birthdays, Little League games, and ballet lessons.
Someone he was not.
Yesterday at her parents’ party, he’d let himself believe he could be that guy. But in the light of day, he saw how wrong he’d been. He wasn’t Steven. He wasn’t a guy who would stick. Who could fit. Who could give her everything she deserved. One call from his CO had proven that.
Flying was the only thing Jared had ever been good at. The only thing he’d ever wanted. He wished he could believe that this time it would be different with Jenny. But the past had taught him otherwise. Eventually she’d see what everyone else had: he screwed up every relationship he’d ever tried having. Disappointment and regret would cloud her eyes, and seeing that would destroy him like nothing else could.
It was better to leave now before he caused her any more pain.
He grabbed his duffel. He stared at the empty bag and silently cursed. He knew better than to unpack. He knew he never stuck around one place long enough to get settled. But just like everything else with Jenny, he let himself forget what he knew to be true. He let himself believe in the impossible. He shoved his clothes into the bag and headed to the bathroom. In less than ten minutes, he was packed and ready to go.
At Jenny’s door, he paused. Steeling himself, he knocked.
“Come in.”
Her eyes were red and swollen. She looked at his duffel bag, then back to him.
“Just go,” she said, her tears flowing steadily. “I know that’s what you’ve decided.”
At the sight of the pain on her face, the ache in his chest was like a fist tightening around his heart. He wanted to tell her that his leaving was for the best. The longer he stayed, the more he’d hurt her. But they both knew the real truth: his CO’s call had given Jared back the one thing he wanted more than anything. “I’m sorry.”
“Just go,” she said again. “I know there’s nothing I can say to keep you here.”
“I’m sorry,” he said again, knowing it wasn’t enough but knowing it was all he had to give. As he walked out of her house, it felt like someone was ripping his heart right out of his chest.
He jumped on his bike. The engine roared to life beneath him. He looked down the road, wanting to get the hell out of this town as fast as he could. But there was one stop he had to make before he left.
Ten minutes later, he cut the engine and parked in front of Paul’s law office. Jared walked past the secretary without a word.
“This is a surprise,” Paul said, rising from behind his desk.
Jared’s helmet hung from his hand like a leaden weight. “I need your help.”
“Does this have to do with Jenny?”
It had everything to do with her. “Draft whatever papers are needed to relinquish any interest I have in Blue Sky Air. That company belongs to her. Only her.” He thought of all the successes she’d accomplished in such short time. She’d succeeded where everyone had predicted failure. He was so damn proud of her.
Paul sat back down in his chair. “Care to tell me what’s going on?”
“No.”
Paul picked up a pen from his desk. “You’re leaving. Empty-handed?”
Yes, but not in the way Paul thought. Jared didn’t give a damn about the money. “I was never staying.”
“Going back to your squadron. Back to flying.”
Jared’s silence was his answer.
“I thought you were happy here.”
Happiness was a fucking illusion. No one knew that better than Jared. “Just write up whatever you have to so I can sign the damn thing and get out of here.”
“It’s not that easy. Give me a couple of days and—”
“
I don’t have a couple of days. I need it done now.” Paul stared at him for several long moments. “What you’re asking will take some time.”
Time was the last thing Jared had. There was no way he could stay around for another couple of days. He’d somehow managed to walk away from Jenny. He didn’t know if he’d be able to do it again. He moved toward the door. He needed to get out of here. Now. “Fine. I’ll contact you in a few days and give you an address where you can mail them.”
Paul’s gaze drilled into Jared. “Life’s short.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Each time he climbed into the cockpit he was confronted with just how fragile life could be. Too damn fragile for a woman who had already lost someone.
“No, I don’t. There’s more to life than flying.”
For men like Paul and Steven. But not for Jared.
“You’re about to lose the best thing you ever had.”
Jared had already lost her. No, that wasn’t true. She’d never truly been his.
He turned and walked out.
TWENTY-THREE
For over an hour, Jenny didn’t move. She sat on her bed letting the tears flow. Used Kleenexes littered the bed. She reached for a fresh tissue, then realized she’d used up the whole box. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her pajamas. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have given her heart to a man who didn’t want her? Who didn’t love her enough? Who didn’t love her at all.
She didn’t want to move. She wanted to stay right where she was, wallow in her heartache until the pain just disintegrated her into a pile of ashes. She couldn’t go through this again. She wouldn’t survive another broken heart.
But she would. Time had taught her that.
She stood and slipped into jeans and her favorite sweatshirt. As much as she wanted to let her grief overtake her, she had a business to run. She wasn’t the same person she’d been when she’d lost Steven. She was stronger now. More sure of herself. More sure of herself as a businesswoman. And Jared had played a big part in helping her see and realize her full potential. While her heart was breaking, she wasn’t going to close herself off from everything again. This time, work would be her salvation.
In the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and pulled her hair into a ponytail. She refused to look at her reflection in the mirror. Why bother? She knew what she’d see. A face ravaged by tears. Eyes hollow with grief. She headed downstairs.
The kitchen was as cold and dark and empty as she was. She looked at the remnants of the breakfast she’d made, and fresh tears slid down her cheeks and darkened the front of her sweatshirt like little droplets of rain. Grabbing a paper towel, she dried her face and got to work.
She flipped on the overhead light, put the kettle on to boil, and began to clean up the mess she’d made earlier. It felt better to move, to keep busy. To keep her mind off Jared.
Once the kitchen was spotless, she went to her office and turned on the computer. She was just about to log on to the Internet and check her e-mail for bookings when the door-bell rang. Her hand smacked against the wrong key.
Jared.
She hurried to the door.
A fresh wave of heartache rolled over her when she saw who it was. “Paul.”
“Hey, Jelly Belly.” Her brother’s voice held a note of sympathy that confused her. “May I come in?”
She opened the door wider and stepped to the side. “Of course.”
He walked into the foyer, bringing the late morning sun with him. Jenny blinked against the brightness.
“I’ve called Anna,” he said.
“Anna. Why?”
“I thought . . .” He brushed the edges of his suit jacket aside and shoved his hands down the front pockets of his slacks. “Hell, I don’t know. I thought maybe having her here would help.”
“Help what?”
“Jared stopped by my office before he left.”
Left.
As in gone. As in forever.
“So you know.” She felt raw and exposed under her brother’s gaze.
“Yes.” He paused. “He asked me to sign over full ownership of Blue Sky Air to you.”
Her head shot up. “What?”
“After I draft the papers and Jared signs, you’ll be full owner. Blue Sky Air will be all yours. He doesn’t want any part of the company. Not repayment of his loan. Nothing.”
You’ll be the full owner.
Blue Sky Air will be all yours.
It was exactly what she’d wanted from the beginning. She should feel elated. But she only felt worse. He didn’t want her. Any part of her. Signing over the company was his way of permanently severing all ties between the two of them.
A car came barreling down the driveway. Even from inside the house, they could hear gravel flying. Brakes screeched, and within moments Anna ran through the door. She looked at Jenny, then at Paul. “I’m sorry it took me so long. I would have been here sooner, but a cop pulled me over and gave me a speeding ticket. What’s going on?”
Even as devastated as Jenny was, her sister’s words registered. “You got a speeding ticket?”
“Paul said you needed me. He said it was an emergency.”
“But weren’t you at work?” Jenny asked.
Anna took off her left shoe and held it out the door. Turning the pump upside down, she dumped out several small pieces of gravel. “What does work have to do with this? Paul said you needed me.”
“And you came.”
“As fast as I could. That’s what sisters do.”
Jenny felt a surge of love for her sister. “Thank you.”
Anna’s gaze softened. “You’re welcome,” she said, putting her shoe back on. “We really should talk about paving that driveway. You’ve turned your business into a thriving success. You can afford it.”
Paul nodded.
“Now,” Anna said, straightening, “tell me what’s going on.”
Jenny drew in a shaky breath. “Jared left.” She said it quickly, like pulling off a Band-Aid, hoping that the swifter she told Anna the news, the less it would hurt.
“So when is he coming back?” Anna asked.
Paul put his arm around Jenny, gave her a comforting squeeze. “He’s not.”
“Why the hell not?”
Jenny leaned against her brother. “Because he doesn’t love me.”
“Of course he loves you,” Anna said, her voice full of conviction.
Jenny shook her head. “No. He doesn’t.”
“Oh, Jenny.” Anna barged forward and engulfed her in a hug. The embrace was awkward—with Paul’s arm still around her shoulder and Anna’s arms enveloping as much of Jenny as she could hold—but even as elbows dug and heads bumped, it was a wonderful embrace.
“He loves you,” Anna said, drawing back. “That’s not the question. The real question is: do you love him enough?”
Of course she loved him. She loved everything about him. The way he looked, the way he smelled. The way he dominated a room just by walking into it. Those blue, blue eyes of his that noticed everything. The way he didn’t find it necessary to talk incessantly, but when he spoke, people listened. And his smile. God, how she loved his smile. Rare and bone melting—when she coaxed one out of him she felt as if she’d just won a prize of immeasurable worth. He made her feel like she could accomplish anything. Be anyone. He pushed her to be the best she could be, and because of him, she was. She was on her way to being more successful than she’d ever thought possible. And making love to him left her breathless and wanting more. Wanting him in the deepest way possible.
“Yes,” she said to her sister, “I love him.”
“The question was, do you love him enough?”
Jenny straightened, and her brother’s arm fell away from her. She grabbed his arm and put it back around her shoulders, giving him the best smile she could muster. She’d been so wrong to keep her brother and sister at arm’s length after Steven’s death. She saw that now. She wasn’t about to make the same m
istake. She looked back to her sister. “Enough for what?”
“Enough for the both of you. Enough to fight for him. He loves you, Jenny. You just have to show him.”
“But how?” she said more to herself than to anyone.
Anna gave her a bright smile. “You’re a smart girl. You’ll figure it out.”
All around Jared controlled chaos reigned on the USS Abraham Lincoln. Military personnel rushed across the massive aircraft carrier performing their jobs with infinite precision and untiring speed. He paused on the way to the flight line as an F-18 taxied to position. The powerful engines ignited, obliterated any other sound, and intensified the air with the smell of jet fuel. The carrier shuddered beneath his feet as the engines gained power. Moments later, the jet roared and hit the sky.
Jared took it all in: the noise, the smells, the endless blue that surrounded him. This was what he lived for. This was all he wanted.
Three weeks had passed since he’d left Jenny. Three weeks since he’d gotten his life back. Leaving had been the right decision—the only decision.
Hadn’t it?
He shook off the thought and told himself that the only thing he needed to do was get back inside the cockpit. It was the same thing he’d been telling himself ever since he’d rejoined his squadron. And today he finally would. In less than an hour he’d be back up in the skies, the only place he belonged.
Earlier this morning they’d been briefed on their mission. In direct violation of a treaty, a nuclear facility in Tawaitha had been rebuilt. Jared’s squadron had been given the directive to destroy it for a second time. Everyone knew the target would be heavily defended, just like everyone knew a confrontation was imminent. American fighters would be mixing it up with Iraqi MiGs. Soon the skies were going to be one hell of a fireball.
Jared wasn’t afraid. He had stared down danger more times than he could count. Confrontations like this were exactly what he had been trained for.
He was just about to make his way to his jet when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and saw Kenny Hart.
Ever since he’d gotten back, Jared had been avoiding the kid. Hart was one chatty son of a bitch, and Jared knew that sooner or later he’d mention Jenny. So he avoided Hart just like he avoided thinking about what Paul had said to him. Both guys were bastards who didn’t know how to mind their own fucking business.
Lake Magic Page 31