He didn’t say anything, so I was left to my own mangled memories. He was delusional. I didn’t compel him. I didn’t even know he existed. I didn’t know anything about power when he saw me for the first time. I’d been innocent to the whole concept of the fae.
“You’re mistaken,” I said finally, glancing at him to gauge his reaction.
“It’s not the same for us, Rayla. We feed off your power. The pull of your power is what compelled my actions. It wasn’t a conscious choice of yours but the result was the same.”
What had Gibbit told me? We are judged by our results.
In that case, I was in trouble. I glanced at Zach, not able to maintain any level of connection with him. In his mind, I’d caused what happened between us, yet he wasn’t blaming me. He was trying to get me to see the depth of his feelings.
He’d fought against every instinct he’d had to give me time to adjust. “It doesn’t matter, Zach. I can’t love you like that anymore.”
He walked over to me and lowered to his knees. Our eyes were level.
I hardened my stare while his softened with compassion. “I’ve made many mistakes where you are concerned, love, but I promise you, I will do better. I will make you see that we are the best chance your world and mine have of overcoming the evil of my sister. I know I will have to earn your trust. I had hoped that a mind merge would automatically happen, and I can see why you are blocking it, but if you’d give me a chance, you would realize how—”
I held up my hands. “Just stop.” Tears pooled in my eyes. This shouldn’t be happening right now. What I should have been doing was setting up shop in the fire realm with Heath.
I stood up and stared down at him. Nothing but compassion stared back at me. I shook my head. “I can’t do this right now,” I said before I fled into the bedroom.
I slammed the door and locked it. My hands flew to my mouth to cover a threatening sob.
What were these people doing to me?
I wished I could give Zach my power. I’d gladly hand it over if it meant I could find Heath and spend the rest of my days with him.
No. That wasn’t true.
As much as I loved him, which was more than I ever thought possible, I couldn’t allow the fae to make decisions for my planet. No matter how much I hated to think about it, I was the only one capable of changing this crazy course we were on.
Zach called to me from behind the door, but he didn’t barge in. I told him to leave me alone, and to my surprise he did.
How much more of this was I going to have to take? How many more men were going to get crushed by me because I had no choice in the matter?
In the one moment I’d felt Zach’s feelings for Faine, I’d glimpsed how pure his heart was, how loyal and lovely of a man he could be. Not that it mattered. I didn’t want him anymore, and knowing that made a crater in my soul.
Faine had escaped this life, leaving Zach behind and the rest of us to clean up after her mess. I’d tried to understand where she’d been coming from when she made the choices she did, but I couldn’t let myself understand her right now. It was just too painful.
Pretty soon, I found myself thinking about the angel that showed up in my dreams. I let myself drift back to that moment, trying to recall what he’d said to me. When he’d stretched out his hand and offered me the spec of light, he’d said, “This gift comes with a message.” He’d touched my temple and pain had shot through me. The spot he’d touched still throbbed sometimes. My fingers absently traced where the bruise had lingered for so long. It was always possible I had been dreaming, but with everything that had happened to my body afterward, it was unlikely.
What message had he been talking about? I’d willed myself to dream of him again, but every time I did, I usually ended up having a heck of a time sleeping. Usually, when I managed to get some sleep, I didn’t dream at all. The thought that a higher being of some sort, angel or whatever, had come to me to give me a message from Faine still irked me.
Was she somewhere in the cosmos watching what was happening right now? Could it be she was up there somewhere, keeping track of the posterity she’d cursed?
Was it her punishment for inflicting such damage? I didn’t like harboring such hateful feelings for someone I’d never known, but she was the easiest to blame.
As I laid there thinking about her, a thought occurred to me: why did I need someone to blame? It wasn’t like using her as a scapegoat would make my decisions any easier. For all I knew hundreds of years into the future another girl would be lying in her bed cursing me.
The only thing that mattered now was how I was going to handle my life, my choices. Dwelling on what she’d done had no chance of helping me.
When I came in the bedroom, I’d had every intention of sitting here until someone dragged me out, but Nicco was right. I needed to learn how to manage my powers, and the man in the next room could help me do just that.
I stood up, made it to the door then hesitated, my hand lingering on the cool knob. How to handle this was a hard thing to determine. I didn’t want Zach to think I was giving in to our bond, but I needed his help. I squared my shoulders, swallowed my anger and feelings of betrayal where he was concerned then let myself into the living room.
He sat on the couch, body hunched over, his elbows on his knees. His head snapped up, eyes questioning me.
My tongue darted out to wet my dry lips. His eyes followed the movement then landed on mine again. The question was still there. “What is it?” he asked.
“I need your help,” I said. “Will you train me?”
He said nothing for a long moment then nodded. “We should clear up some things between us first.”
“No.” I let my eyes say what I couldn’t express with words. “Please. Give me something to focus on.”
In a swift motion, he stood up. His gaze travelled over me, but it was just a quick appraisal. “Why don’t you go change? Meet me in the far meadow behind the castle in ten minutes?”
“Okay,” I said, relief flooding me. “And, Zach?” He’d already made it half way to the door before he glanced back at me. I put as much kindness in my expression and tone as I could manage. “Thank you. This means a lot to me.”
His jaw worked before he answered me. “We’ll get through this, Rayla. I promise.”
I nodded, tears stinging my cheeks. I didn’t reply, instead I headed back into the bedroom, hoping with all my heart he was right.
*****
When I made it to the meadow two men waited for me. I’d expected Zach but had no idea what Jett was doing there.
I walked up to them on tentative feet, not sure what to expect. An ambush?
Thankfully Zach spoke up before I had to say anything. “I’ve asked Jafan to assist us. He’s the best teacher in the realms, and I thought he might make you feel more comfortable.”
I chuckled. The words Jafan and comfortable didn’t quite go together.
Jett rolled his eyes at me. “None of your sarcasm, Rayla. We don’t have time.”
I smirked at him. “There’s always time for humor, and last I checked, you were getting much better at it.”
He waved me off. “Just get over here so we can start.”
“Yes, sir,” I said, giving him a crisp salute.
Zach laughed, and I smiled at him. The tension I’d been feeling eased off for the first time in a long time, and I found myself remembering the reasons I liked these men.
More myself than I had been in ages, I rocked onto my toes. “So what first?”
Zach took a wide stance, tucking his hands under his armpits. The breeze ruffled his dark hair over his forehead.
I’d once dreamed of running my fingers through his hair. I shoved the thought away and focused on what he was saying, “We have a lot to cover, and I’m not sure how well your training will be received in court.”
“Why?” I asked, frowning, but mostly it was a rebuke to myself for getting distracted by him.
“Let’s ju
st say there are those in court that think you should be passed off to a new bondmate. Something so drastic has only been allowed to happen once in our history, but some seem to forget the devastation it had on our realms. We are ready to war with each other. Jafan and I want to bring our nations together. We are hopeful you can help us do just that.”
I nodded. “Well, what are we waiting for then?”
Jett chuckled. “Always so impatient.”
I cocked my head at him. “You’ve had countless years to learn patience. I can’t change something that’s part of me so easily.”
He stepped closer and pulled me into a hug. “I’ve missed you, Rayla.”
I glanced at Zach, but he gave no outward sign that this bothered him, so I threw my arms around Jett, feeling at home in his embrace. Somewhere along the line, Jett had taken the role of big brother in my mind. The strange thing was I was pretty sure he’d released any romantic feelings he’d had for me.
Had he found someone else? For his sake, I hoped so. He was a great guy, and he deserved an Elemental who would appreciate him for who he was.
I patted his back before I pushed away. “Me, too. Can’t wait to catch up.”
Zach led us to a spot under a tree. The weird part was the temperature stayed pretty close to the same no matter where I’d been in Lombarda and that included in the shade.
Once out of the afternoon sunlight, I glanced around. A slight hill in the distance blocked direct view of the castle in front of us, and nothing but forest lay to our rear.
Having such a place to escape would be essential for me to keep myself sane. Maybe I could come here to practice Shendo? I used to crave a long run, but since I’d experienced the calming effects of the Ignisian martial art, running had taken a back seat.
Zach faced me and Jett. His eyes grew distant as he spoke.
“When the fae first came to Earth, our powers were much like yours, volatile and unpredictable. It took centuries for us to learn control.” A groan wanted to race up my throat, but I held it in. Tabitha had already explained all of this to me, but it wasn’t like I could tell him about it. “Fortunately for you we have learned that the bond assists an Elemental in training. Of course, the stronger the bond, the easier training becomes.”
I glanced away from him because I didn’t want to get into another discussion about our messed up predicament right now. “What if the bond isn’t all that strong?”
He winced, and regret sliced into me. What was I supposed to say? Our bond wasn’t strong. My mind wanted to remind me my bond with Zach was stronger than Heath and I could overcome together, but I pushed the thought away. I knew who I wanted.
“Don’t worry, Rayla,” said Jett. “We have that covered.”
Zach’s lips pinched together. “Part of the reason I’ve asked Jafan to attend us today is I needed someone I trust to guard us while we work on your training. With the council’s order for you to stay here, we are vulnerable to outside influences. Jafan will deflect any attempts to infiltrate our session.”
I gave him a face. “I’m going to pretend I understood what you just said. I’m grateful for your efforts, and I’ll do my best to be a good student, but if this isn’t safe, I need to know. If there is even the slightest chance that a certain princess could be listening…or someone worse right now, I don’t want to risk it.”
Zach’s legs ate up the distance between us before he lifted my chin until our eyes met. “She will not access your mind so long as I am breathing. You have my solemn vow. And for someone worse…that’s not going to happen.”
Jett gave a decisive nod and moved closer. “We are all devoted to keeping you safe, Rayla. Don’t ever doubt that. Even though you might feel alone, you are not.”
I smiled, trying to fight the tears that wanted to spring forth. What was with me, anyway? There was no time for tears now.
This was the time to fight.
When Zach reached for my hand, I took it. “First of all,” he said. “You need to learn where your power comes from.”
I was all over that. This whole power thing had confused me from the beginning, so I focused my whole attention on his explanation.
“We all inherit traits of our parents,” he said. “When Faine came to the realms, she was much like you, naïve and full of hope, but there was a distinct difference.”
When he hesitated too long, I prodded him. “Which was?”
“Her power was limited to one element. Upon bonding, she inherited the element of her bond mate. Until then she was a blank slate, so to speak.”
Kind of hard to forget who she ended up bonding with, yet he acted as though it was some major secret. “What does that have to do with me?”
“Your power is unlike any we have ever seen. Not only do you already possess power of your own, you are able to access every element at one time.”
“I get that part, but why is that so important?” I’d heard what Tabitha had to say about the matter, but I was curious what these two thought.
Jett spoke up. “For centuries, humans have dreamed of the magic you possess. I have never seen power used in the way you do. You not only manipulate the elements, you manipulate the very fabric of things.”
Zach jumped in. “The Altasians have led a campaign to saddle us with technology. Those of us who know where that road leads would rather use other means to better our society.”
“Okay, machines are bad, right?” I said, trying to divert the conversation from my magic. I wasn’t about to forget Tabitha’s warning. My training could only include elemental manipulation. Under no circumstance was I supposed to use magic.
“Machines aren’t bad,” said Zach. “But people can be. When faced with the thought of power, many of us will do whatever it takes to acquire the advantage.”
“But not you two?” I asked, glancing at both of them.
“Power runs our world, Rayla,” said Jett. “In order for us to keep things level, we always have to look for ways to enhance our powers.”
“Ha—right,” I said, shaking my head. “Got to keep up with the competition, huh?”
He gave me a scolding frown to go along with his short reply. “Yes.”
“So,” I went on, ignoring his glare. “Is there an easy way for me to control my power or what?”
“No,” answered Zach.
“Great,” I said.
Jett leaned against the tree as if settling in for a long discussion. I was ready to work not talk, but it seemed he had a different idea. “The truth is—much of what we have to teach you is how to trust in your own intuition.”
I started to protest, but Zach told me I’d learn more if I listened. Teaching me how to use my power should have been much easier if you asked me. Unfortunately, these two were most definitely not interested in what I had to say at the moment.
The rest of the afternoon consisted of me trying different techniques in manipulating space, and Zach and Jett pretty much laughing at me. We’d been at it more than three hours, and I was getting tired, which was pretty evident when my latest lightning bolt went sideways instead of vertical, nearly slamming Jett in the back in the process. Woops.
When he whirled around, glaring, I gave him a sheepish grimace. They were the ones making a big deal out of me being able to control lightning. Guess my control could use more work.
Jett just shook his head at me. “Seems we’re done for today.”
All I’d been thinking about was how much longer we were going to be at this, but now, all I could think about was having to go back to the castle with Zach.
I gave him a sidelong glance, wishing for not the first time that I could have a quick peek into his mind. The problem with attempting such a thing continued to be the same. I didn’t trust him. I couldn’t allow myself to take that sort of risk with so much at stake. When he’d shoved his memories at me, it hadn’t been a direct link. It was more like a download of information, like watching a movie play out. If I allowed him access into my mind, he’d be
able to manipulate me.
As we made our way into the castle, our light conversation consisted of current political trends and how much Jett looked forward to the upcoming tournament of lords.
Since my fate had technically been decided, it was determined that a battle for power should take place. After all, it was important that the lords were the strongest in the nations. Yeah right. Who were they trying to kid? They had a huge supply of Elementals that hadn’t been controlled by the order their whole life. They didn’t need to send a party to hunt any. Something else was up, but nobody else seemed to question Valen’s command.
Not only had they stripped Heath of his title without giving him a chance to fight for it, they’d put him at the lowest rank. He’d been one of the strongest fae warriors even though he hadn’t gained much power through bonding. Not knowing how the tournament thing really worked, I asked Jett, “Who gets to fight in the tournament?”
He flashed his teeth at me, his braids swaying as he walked. “I guess there is no harm in telling you.” He patted my back. “Unless, of course, you plan on fighting yourself.”
Okay that was weird. I smiled at him because at least he was attempting to be funny. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” I said.
He gave me a hearty smirk. “Each realm holds a tournament three weeks before the main event. The five best fighters are chosen and sent to represent their kingdoms. Once here, we battle until five are left standing.”
“Sounds fun,” I said, wincing as I pictured the lords going at each other for hours.
“Well for us, it is.” I made a face at him and he laughed. “I do not expect you to understand.”
Good thing, too, because beating each other up didn’t really seem like the best way to stay out of a war, but what did I know?
I glanced over at Zach, who, once again, seemed lost in thought. My guilt for jilting him wouldn’t leave me alone, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to buddy up to him and give him the wrong impression, either.
Until I could figure out how to get Heath back, I was going to have to come up with some kind of suitable solution for our relationship. Zach had been trying to convince me that Ainessa tricked him and that she hadn’t been in his mind long. Well, from where I was standing, it had been long enough, and I didn’t want to risk giving her any opportunity to corrupt my mind.
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