“I never asked to be the Nexus. I never wanted to come to Faeresia in the first place!”
“So what?” he hissed. “Do you think I wanted to pick up my shattered existence when I lost Faine? Do you think I’ve wanted to live since? I begged the wraith to take my soul, hoping it would ease my pain. They refused. It wasn’t until I saw you that I had a reason to live again.”
I shut my eyes tight, not wanting to see the emotion in his. “We can’t be together, Zach.”
His voice faltered. “Then you have signed our death warrants.”
I shook my head. “Stop being a drama queen.”
A guttural growl rose from his throat. “What did you just call me?” Before I could quip out a response, he yanked me up against his body as if reminding me of how much of a man he really was. His heat burned me where we fused together.
“I—” When I tried to back away, the backs of my calves pressed against the sofa.
His fingers sifted into my hair, pulling pin after pin out before it finally tumbled down my back. “I want you, Rayla. I want to feel you in my life, in my bed. I don’t want this shadow of you. I haven’t done the best job of convincing you. I’ve made many mistakes where you are concerned, but you belong with me. Together, we can mend the fissures between our worlds. We can forge new alliances. We can—” I pressed my fingers to his lips.
I didn’t want to hear anything else. I couldn’t allow myself to open my mind to this man again. I’d done it already and he betrayed me. I’d already given my heart to Heath. Zach captured my fingers, trapping them against his lips.
Tremors started inside me when he kissed my fingertips. He pulled my hand back and pressed his lips to my wrist. My pulse exploded.
I shook my head. “I’ve had sex with Heath.”
“I don’t care,” he said, pressing kisses up my arm. “You are more than a body to me. You are my hope, my life.”
“I can’t, Zach.”
He stopped, his blazing eyes capturing mine. “What if he released you?”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “He never would.”
“If he did?”
“I’m not doing hypothetical.”
As if on cue a knock sounded at the door. Panic flooded through me. Even before Zach told him to enter, I felt Heath near me. As I always had. As I always would.
I yanked away from Zach and raced up to him. His body stiffened under my embrace.
Panic rose up my throat. “I don’t care what he told you! We can figure this out. I’m yours. I want to be with you.” Heath’s eyes held no emotion as he studied me. “Heath?” I asked. “Please.”
He reached behind his back and grabbed my hands, disentangling me from him. “I’m leaving,” he said.
“But I thought you were fighting in the tournament.”
“I lost today,” he said in a monotone. “I’m sorry, Rayla. I did my best, but I couldn’t hold it together when I saw you with Valen.”
A sound so foreign it hurt my insides raced out of me, a giant keening that pierced the air. I threw my arms around him again, thinking I could keep him near me by sheer force of will. “I don’t care what happened in the arena! I’m not changing my mind.”
He shook his head, his short hair pluming out with the motion. I wanted to get him alone and show him how much we belonged together. That’s all I needed: a little alone time with him. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I can’t be with you anymore. Maybe when you are human again, we can work something out.”
“No!” I wailed. “You can’t leave me here. Take me with you.”
He ran a finger along my chin. “You can’t leave the realms, and I can’t stay.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been banished.”
Someone might as well have clobbered me over the head with a frying pan for how my mind could keep up. “Who banished you, and why?”
“It was an agreement between me and Queen Rachel. She agreed to let me participate in the tournament on condition that if I didn’t win I would leave the realms for good.”
“And go where?”
“I’ve always wanted to see Australia…maybe travel the outback for a while.”
I growled at him. “Not without me.”
His jaw clenched. “All we have is a piece of paper.” He laughed. “On second thought, we don’t even have that. You have a bondmate, and if you want a world to come back to you’d better complete it with him.”
“I’m not going to stay here without you. There’s no reason for me to be here without you!”
He smirked at me. The fool had the nerve to smirk at me. How could he risk so much to participate in the tournament? When he backed away I moved to go after him, but strong arms held me still. “Have a happy life, Rayla. I love you, but I’ve lost. There is no more I can do.”
I fought with all my strength to get out of those arms of steel. I even zapped Zach, but he stayed firmly behind me.
“Let go of me!” I yelled just before Heath made it out the door. When the barrier shut I screamed, “No!” over and over again.
My eyes blurred from tears and gigantic sobs racked my body. I whirled around, pounding against Zach’s chest. “How could you? You’ve known love before, real love. Why can’t you let me have the same?”
Zach’s face scrunched up, and for a moment I thought he would tell me to go after Heath, but then apathy stared back at me. “It will take time, but we can overcome this.”
I growled at him. “I don’t want you!”
His hands fisted at his sides. “This is no longer about what either of us wants.”
I tried to change into travel wear, but my magic wasn’t working. I stomped into the closet and reached for my bodice laces. As soon as I could get some better clothes on, I was out of here.
Warm skin bumped into my hands then pressed them out of the way. “I’ve never liked blue on you. I don’t know who keeps putting you in Luke’s colors, but I’ll not have it any longer.” When I pulled away, I was yanked back by the very laces I’d tried to discard. “Not so fast,” he said, his deep voice a low grumble. “We need to talk.”
I stiffened under his touch. “We’ve talked long enough. I have nothing else to say to you.”
His hand slid along my shoulder. “Stop being stubborn.”
“Oh, you haven’t seen stubborn from me.”
“Comforting,” he said, a hint of amusement in his tone.
At least one of us was happy about the situation. “I’m leaving,” I told him. He might as well know he didn’t have control over me, and he never would.
“Not just stubborn, you’re pig headed.”
My body stiffened and my mind raged with comebacks, but what good would it do to incite him further? “Call me anything you want. I don’t care; I’m not staying here.”
“Good. We agree on something, at least.”
I looked over my shoulder. He stared at me with an expression I could not easily name.
“Really?” I asked
“I’m not willing to wait to see what happens in the tournament. Too many strong warriors have already fallen while Valen watches from the sidelines. Something is happening. Something bad. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a riot ensue. As soon as you’re dressed, we’re both leaving.”
“Where are we going?” I asked, taking advantage of the situation. If I could get him to take me out of Lombarda, I could drift to the borderlands and search for Cerberus, my not so little hellhound.
“Don’t even think about running from me, love.”
Seriously? Why was he continuing with that ridiculous pet name? “Don’t call me that.”
Innocence lit up his smile. “But it’s what you are to me.”
Charmer. It wasn’t going to work, no matter how many times he tried. “I don’t feel the same way.”
“We have time,” he said.
Little did he know, his time was already a distant memory for me. There was no way I was going t
o let Heath get away with this. I didn’t care if he wanted to be some kind of martyr. I wasn’t going to let him.
“Hurry up. We still have to figure out where Tabitha put my family,” I told Zach when his hands stalled on my laces. His skin slid along mine, and I was sure he was trying to seduce me again, but I was done caving.
“Already handled, love.”
I gasped. “Where are they?”
“Safe. That’s all you need to know right now.”
I grunted, not willing to waste a single more second arguing. Someday, I’d thank him, but it wasn’t going to happen today. Zach laughed and went to work disrobing me. I didn’t even care if he saw me naked. He better make it last, though, because that was all he was going to get.
Chapter Ten
“What are you waiting for?” I hissed into Zach’s ear.
“Shh,” he chided. “We have to be subtle about this.”
“Subtle?” I asked, incredulous.
He grinned and his cheek brushed against mine. “I realize you don’t know much about the concept,” he said, “but it generally works when used correctly.”
I nudged his back. “Just get us out of here.”
He chuckled. “I’d be happy to oblige, lass, but unless you want the royal guard on our heels, you’d best be quiet.”
I didn’t want to be quiet. I wanted to roar from the rooftops. I wanted to race through Lombarda declaring the fae would no longer have control of my decisions. I was my own woman, even if no one here recognized me for what I was.
When he didn’t move, I pushed him again, using more force than I should have. His body careened forward before he could stop himself, and he stumbled onto the moonlit path. A gargled laugh sputtered out of me.
“Lord Ammon,” a man said immediately. Woops. He obviously had a reason for stalling. “I thought you’d be celebrating with the others.”
To my utter horror, Zach pulled me in front of him, slurring his words when he spoke. “Begging your pardon, but I’ve got my own ideas for a celebration.”
The man laughed. I hadn’t seen this one before. He was shorter than most royal guards, but his eyes traveled over me with the same scrutiny I’d experienced from others of his kind.
His dark brown eyes lit up. “I’ve not seen this one before,” he said in a rich brogue. “Where did you find such a comely, lass? I’d heard we had humans in the realms, but I dared not believe it.”
I glanced at Zach over my shoulder, giving him a disgusted frown. Humans in the realms? Was my family here?
“We’ll be but a short while,” said Zach, winking at me no less. “After all, I’ve got the coming battle to consider.”
The guard laughed again. “Send her my way when you’re finished?”
The question got me so stinking mad, I went to zap the guy’s arm, but Zach picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. When I kicked him, he laughed. A hard swat landed on my backside, stunning me momentarily. He jostled me around until I settled into his shoulder. His voice came out throaty. “Feisty one.”
The man, who I could no longer see, burst out into jeers.
“Put me down!” I screamed, finally finding my voice.
Another swat landed in the exact same spot. This time the sting made me gasp.
“Like I said,” the man’s voice floated around me. “Send her my way when you’re done.”
The sound of footsteps banging onto the golden pathway receded until I couldn’t hear them anymore. Zach placed me gently on my feet.
When I steadied myself, I slapped his face. Hard.
He rubbed the spot, smiling. “I deserved that, but I’ll not say I’m sorry. Could have been worse, you know? I’ve wanted to give you a good thrashing for a long time.”
Humiliation ate up my face. I had to be scarlet from head to toe. “You are the most—”
He held up his hand. “Stow it, lass. I’ve heard them all in my day, and I’ve deserved most of them, but not this one. Not this time. I just saved your hide back there. He’d have taken you straight to Valen if he’d known who you were.”
My face scrunched in confusion. “What are you talking about? It’s not like he could have mistaken me for someone else.”
“Is that right, now?” He circled me then pinched my cheek. “I gave you a glamour since you couldn’t seem to manage it yourself. One thing about the royal guard is they’re more human than you might think. They can’t see through our illusions.”
That was just weird. “So what did he see when he looked at me?”
Zach laughed. “A buxom brunette with a sharp tongue.” He shrugged. “It was a woman I once knew.”
My hands wanted to cover my not so buxom bosom. I’d never been overly curvy, but I’d never given it a second thought until now. “You’re disgusting,” I said, giving him a frown.
“What?” he asked, all innocence. “I might be immortal, but a man has needs.”
He was going to get kneed if he didn’t stop it. “Whatever,” I said then moved to go in front of him.
He caught my wrist. “No way am I letting you lead the way.”
“Whatever,” I said again, but fell in line behind him.
We walked in relative silence until we reached the stables. Just before we crossed the open field, Zach stopped, and I nearly ran into his back. He was about as big of an obstacle as he wanted to be. He turned and eyed me until I gave him a pointed stare.
After scrutinizing me for a few more seconds, he said, “You need to understand a few things before we go forward.” I nodded, waiting for an epiphany of a lifetime. “This will backfire if we can’t get Bastion on board. No pegasus can be cloaked unless they want to be, and taking her into the mortal realms could pose a real problem for us.”
We were doomed. “She won’t even let me approach her, let alone cloak her.”
His expression lit with understanding. “She’s stubborn, too, love. Just give her some space and ask her kindly like. Whatever you do, don’t command her to do anything.” He held out his hand and three small apples appeared in his palm. “These might keep her subdued for a while, but she will likely want to kill you when she comes out of the spell.”
Spell? I shook my head. “No way. She hates me enough as it is.”
He let out a pfft that lifted his bangs. “We can’t leave her here. Styx will only go if she does.”
Well that was just great. I was going to give the black-hearted pegasus a talking to the next time I saw him.
“Talking isn’t necessarily going to help,” said Styx.
I whirled around, searching for him in the darkness. This was the first time he’d said anything directly to me for a while.
He trotted out of the trees with Bastion right behind him. Hope burst in my chest, but I had to do this the right way. I waited for the duo to approach.
Styx stopped a few feet away from my outstretched hand. I’d managed to procure a few apples of my own, and these, thankfully, weren’t tainted like the ones Zach tried to give me.
Styx nudged my hand, sniffed then took one apple gently between his teeth. This was the absolute most docile I’d seen the fiery beast.
“Hey,” he said into my mind. “Watch it or I’ll show you what that means.”
I laughed. “Well?” I asked.
He crunched away, apparently ignoring me again.
I rubbed between his eyes then over his ears. He must have liked it because he leaned into my hand. “Has she spoken to you yet?”
“Not exactly,” he said. His dark voice echoed in the corners of my mind.
“Do you know what’s wrong? Is it because Jett gave her to me?”
Styx backed away. “You should ask her.”
I took a timid step toward Bastion. Her big, ice-blue eyes studied me. With every inch that brought us closer, her eyes grew wider. I stopped a couple feet away from her and held out my hand.
She brought her head down and sniffed. I got the distinct impression she thought I was going to poison her.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “I really want to be friends with you, Bastion.”
Without warning she reared back. When she came down again, her hooves landed inches from my toes. “What did I do to upset you so badly?” I asked. How was I supposed to get anywhere with this high-strung pegasus if she wouldn’t even let me touch her?
She made a sharp noise then huffed. Oh crap. Could she hear my thoughts?
“Pretty much,” said Styx, walking closer.
He edged in, close to her neck. She turned and bit him.
That was it. I retreated to a perceived safe distance. “This is hopeless,” I said to Zach.
He placed a gentle arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for a side hug. “Jett has spoiled her. Give her a few minutes to adjust. She’ll come around.”
But would she really? I couldn’t rely on that, and I couldn’t wait here much longer.
I gave Zach a quick lean in before I removed myself from his embrace. “When will the tournament start up again?”
He tried to cover the apprehension on his face, but I’d already seen it. “It has already begun.”
Having no other option, I gritted my teeth and walked right up to Bastion. She did the wide-eyed act again, but I didn’t care. I needed her to see how desperate I was.
“Look,” I said. “I know you don’t really like me. You’ve made that clear enough, but I need your help. In about ten minutes someone in this castle is going to alert the royal guard to my sudden disappearance.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry for the way you’ve been treated these past few days, and for not taking great care of you. I have no excuse for it. All I know is that I’m the only person around here that seems to care whether or not you get to stay with Styx.” She pounced on the ground again, but I ignored her. “If you help me escape, I will do everything in my power to make sure that you and Styx remain together.” It hit me. Could she be thinking that since I wanted Heath that she would have to go to Ignis with me when this all got sorted out, if it ever got sorted out, that was?
I leveled my gaze to hers. “If I have any control over the situation, I will make things right for you. I’d love to see you two free.” It wasn’t like most fae needed them to get around anymore.
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