Robyn Hood: A Girl's Tale

by K. M. Shea

  “Let’s take today off, please Robyn?” Will Stutely said.

  “All right. We’ve been working rather hard lately, it’s good to have a holiday every now and then,” I consented with a chuckle.

  My men broke out into cheers as they scattered, each going off to do their own preferred activity. I craned my neck to see over the sea of shoulders, looking for Will Stutely and Much. I still had to have a little ‘talk’ with them about that sign.

  “Well Robyn what do you want to do this afternoon?” Little John asked as he stretched, a grin plastered on his face.

  “And please, don’t let it have anything to do with archery,” Will Scarlet added with a yawn.

  I grumbled before giving up looking for my two runaway men, they had obviously decided to sneak off before I could find them. “I’m going to brush Crafty,” I decided, ambling off in the direction of his pen.

  Will Scarlet fell off of the rock he was sitting on and Little John tripped and nearly fell. “On your own free will?” Little John asked as he and Scarlet scurried after me.

  “Indeed,” I said as I hopped the wooden fence and walked over to Crafty and the pony. They both greeted me, the pony with a nicker and Crafty with sneer.

  “Don’t worry Robyn, if he looks like he’ll try to take a bite out of you me and Scarlet will stop him,” Little John confidently promised as Will Scarlet studied the devious horse with respect.

  “I think he and I are just about friends,” I said as I patted Crafty’s thick neck before rubbing the pony’s forehead.

  “You did say just about,” Will Scarlet drawled.

  I frowned while gazing at the little dapple gray pony. She was excessively fat with a silky white mane and tail and a gray blue dapple coat. “We need to name her,” I said as one of the cats approached us, wrapping its tail around Little John’s leg.

  “What’s wrong with calling her the pony,” Little John asked as he tried to shoo the cat away.

  “It’s not right. We need to name the dogs and cats too,” I added as I started brushing Crafty.

  “Marian said the dogs have names,” Will volunteered.

  I smirked, Marian had given us some dogs from her father’s kennel. The poor man was being robbed blind by his own daughter and she had him convinced it was a group of bandits. “Oh, what are they?”

  “She said the black one was Mangy Flea Bag and the spotted one is Demon Spawn,” Scarlet uncomfortably replied.

  I laughed. “Yes, usually the range of Maid Marian’s animals tend to be along the colorful side. I don’t even want to know what that girl calls her poor mare.”

  “Probably Nearly Dead,” Little John snorted as he pushed the cat away with the toe of his boot.

  “For heaven’s sake Little John,” I said as I rolled my eyes and walked over to the cream colored cat. “It’s a cat, not a monster,” I said as I picked it up. Instantly the cat started purring, ignoring Crafty, who was eyeing it rather jealously.

  I thoughtfully frowned as I leaned up against the fence, my two best friends behind me. “I wonder where that girl is now anyway. She hasn’t been around to bug me recently, and usually around this time of the month she gets angry for no reason.”

  “And she takes it out on you by chasing you with a sword,” Will Scarlet snorted. He too had seen Marian’s strange and mysterious ways of exercising her aggression. I must give him credit though, he held in his laughter until I was up in a tree while Marian threw acorns at me.

  Little John and Will Scarlet began snickering at the very thought as I frowned and set the cat down. I was about to walk back over to Crafty and the pony when Maid Marian burst into the camp on Nearly Dead. The poor mare was heaving and stumbling while Marian shouted gibberish.

  “Robyn! Where in bloody Sherwood is Robyn?” her mouth was obviously loose once again.

  “I’m over here,” I yelled, hefting myself over the wooden fence.

  Marian turned and heeled her horse forward, bringing the mare to a halt mere inches away from me. She leaped off Nearly Dead and tossed the reins to Little John, who was usually Marian’s stable boy. He obediently took the reins and walked the trembling mare through the camp, waiting for her to cool down before he let her drink.

  “What’s wrong Maid Marian?” I asked in a teasing voice as I leaned calmly up against a fence with Will Scarlet at my side.

  “Prince John is coming to Nottingham!” Marian blurted.

  My mouth dropped open and I stared at Marian. “What?” I stammered.

  Marian nodded, before her lips pulled down into a dirty scowl. “Apparently the Sheriff of Nottingham is such a strong supporter of Prince John that the Prince has decided to come visit his stout devotee.”

  “PJ is coming here?” I asked, feeling my eyes practically pop out of my head. The fact that Scarlet spared only the barest trace of a snicker for Prince John’s acronym meant he was just as shocked as I was.

  Marian nodded. “At first I was surprised. I mean surely he has heard of you, Robyn, and it would be idiotic to come down the road and straight into your hands. But, according to Father the Prince is also coming because he wants to capture you.”

  I was astounded to say the least. “What are we going to do? Surely Prince John will have better guards than the bumbling Sheriff,” I said as I sunk to the floor.

  Will Scarlet was warming up to the idea. “Robyn, this is perfect! With the Prince here more lords and ladies will be visiting which also means more robbing!”

  I glared up at him. “I hate to be a prophet of doom and gloom, but Will, the Prince is of royal blood! He will have an army with him.”

  “Oh pish posh!” Marian said, flapping her hand. “He’s Prince John, a brainless cad who cares only about his taxes. Besides, all of the good men were off with King Richard on the crusades.”

  “Yes they were! In case you haven’t noticed King Richard is just about the only one to not return!” I pointed out.

  “That’s not true,” Marian countered. “Most of the Knights are camped out across Europe, waiting for the money to set King Richard free. After all, they cannot move until he gives the order.”

  I grunted, still not fully convinced.

  “This is the perfect way to make the extra gold Robyn,” Will Scarlet said as he knelt next to me. “It’s going to make our job ten times easier, we just have to become more clever.”

  I looked at him with blank eyes, internally wondering if he had been hit in the head too many times when fighting with cudgels against Little John.

  Little John, who had heard Marian loudly proclaim PJ’s movements, spoke as he walked past with Nearly Dead. “Robyn, with him here you can finally extract revenge on him. Remember all the starving villagers?”

  I felt a light go on in my eyes as a smile curled across my lips. “Maybe it’s time we meet this temporary monarch of ours,” I sweetly said.

  Little John and Will Scarlet exchanged dark smirks while Marian proudly nodded. “I knew you would catch on,” she said with a smug grin.

  The next day I set out at dawn for Nottingham. I slinked through the forest, wearing a disguise, avoiding the areas that would be guarded by my Merry Men. I was going by myself so the last thing I wanted was a big mouthed scout tattling to Much or Will Stutely, the mother hens.

  Coming out of the forest I frowned as I followed the river. It was swollen and overflowing since all the snow had melted. The water was cold and brisk, and it looked like it was about chest level.

  My frown deepened as I gazed up and down the river. From the direction I was coming at there wasn’t a bridge. I wasn’t about to wade through the water and give every person I met from there on a nice flash show, so I would have to walk back into Sherwood to find the nearest bridge.

  I had just made this assumption when I saw a fat friar waddle up the road. He was shorter then I, portly, and had brown cropped hair and sparkling brown eyes. He had a tough look to him in spite of his brown habit, and he grinned broadly at me before shouting. “Greeti
ngs stranger! What brings you to Nottingham?” he asked.

  I was tempted to swear under my breath, I couldn’t exactly disappear into the forest with him standing there. “I’m going to see the wares,” I shortly said, my good mood of escaping scouts and mother hens swiftly turning rotten. I must feel sorry for the Friar though, he had been pleasant enough and I had bitten his head off.

  “Ah yes, Nottingham is always bustling with merchants in the early spring,” he nodded. Apparently he hadn’t learned his lesson.

  “Yes,” I barked as I surveyed the river bank while grunting after looking down at my clothes. “Are there any bridges close to here?”

  He shook his head. “No, the flooding waters from the melted snow took out the bridge that was here.”

  I grumbled under my breath, digging my shoe into the ground while the monk looked curiously at me.

  “Do you require some sort of assistance? the Friar asked.

  My mind whirled before I turned with a smirk. “Yes, carry me across the river,” I ordered.

  The Friar blinked. “What?” he asked, his smile quickly turning into a grumpy look.

  “Carry me across the river!” I said, carefully pronouncing each syllable as I did my best to sound like a stuck up merchant.

  The Friar glared. “Why?” he demanded with a scowl, perhaps the smile thing was a front?

  “Because I said so,” I said like a pouting child.

  The Friar let off a few phrases that reminded me of Maid Marian. Man of God indeed. He studied me with narrowed eyes and I rolled my eyes before notching an arrow in my bow and trailing it onto his portly belly.

  “Or else,” I threatened. I think he knew that even if I was the worst shot in the world I could not miss his giant bulk at this close of a distance.

  “Fine,” he barked. “But only if you carry me back across on your way back,” he said.

  “Deal,” I said as I removed the arrow and slipped it back into my quiver. I hopped on the Friar’s back, being careful to touch him as little as possible, and the short man quickly waded in. The steadily trickling water reached his belly, but the large man was easily able to make it across.

  As soon as he exited the water I jumped off, shaking what little part of my legs had gotten wet before I swiftly walked toward Nottingham. “Thank you,” I called over my shoulder.

  “Remember our deal!” he yelled back.

  “Yes, of course,” I shouted back, planning to go home another way. After all I would not want to explain to the Friar why I was a girl after leaving the water.

  Nottingham was only a few minutes walk from river, and I quickly walked inside with a large group of farmers who were bringing a herd of sheep into the market. Once inside the castle I gazed around the entrance before finding the notice board.

  I sneered with disgust as I noticed out of all the wanted posters, I was the least recognizable. I shrugged before moving on, looking for news of Prince John’s arrival. Nothing was formally posted, however, I had a feeling that if I wandered around long enough I was bound to hear some tidbits of juicy gossip from the commoners.

  I visited the blacksmith’s shop first. There I over heard two men talking about Prince John.

  “E’s coming in two weeks,” a tall, gruff man who was holding the reins of a large draft horse explained.

  “Great,” the blacksmith grumbled as he picked up a hoof of the giant horse. “That means more taxes.”

  I could no longer remain without drawing attention to myself, since I didn’t have a horse, so I moved on to a weapons stall where I bought several bow strings before asking some questions.

  “Say, is it true that Prince John is coming here, to Nottingham?” I asked the archer who was running the stall.

  “Yes,” he tersely said. “The Sheriff has been bellyaching and hollering about cleaning up the castle all week,” he said as he wiped his nose on his sleeve.

  I was mildly repulsed but I kept it to myself. “I bet. What do you think the Prince is coming here for?” I asked.

  The archer shrugged. “Who knows? He claims it’s to visit the Sheriff, but most people reckon it’s to capture Robin Hood. The Sheriff’s apprentice has been working on capturing them for months with nothing to show for it.”

  The Sheriff’s apprentice? Who was that?

  Another customer appeared behind me and I nodded before moving on, slowly working the streets of Nottingham.

  I visited the market and talked with many of the farmers from surrounding lands, and I spoke with several merchants, a tanner, and a cobbler. They all had similar news to report, mainly that Prince John was coming in two weeks with a giant guard, and that he was taking the route that went through a part of Sherwood Forest. He was supposedly coming to bless the Sheriff, but they all thought he was really coming to capture me.

  Upon collecting all of this information I worked my way back toward the castle door I had entered. In doing so I nearly knocked into the Sheriff. Thankfully he didn’t recognize me, instead he merely glanced my way before sneering. “Watch where you’re going, boy,” he said as his entourage leered at me. In the pack I recognized the sharp minded steward who recorded the names at the archery contest. I knew he was too smart to be a mere servant!

  I stuck my tongue out at Sheriff’s back when he was a safe distance away, and several peasant girls who had been watching me giggled. I winked at them before disappearing into the crowd, leaving Nottingham.

  My body moved automatically as I stewed over my findings. Could my band of fifty seven Merry Men possibly go up against Prince John’s honor guard? Would we survive? Does Prince John really scream like a girl as the tanner claimed? Would that archer ever wash his snotty clothes?

  My ponderings were brought to a halt when I reached the river. I was about to run into Sherwood when I heard the pretend happy Friar.

  “There you are, I was not sure if you would stick to our bargain,” he said as he waddled out.

  “Dear Friar, can we simply take a nearby bridge?” I pitifully asked.

  “There are none,” he flatly said, I was about to contradict him when I smartly closed my mouth, knowing that if I said something it would raise suspicions.

  I balked. “I cannot,” I said.

  The Friar frowned. “We made a deal!”

  “I lied?” I asked as I slightly cringed. The Friar’s face turned stormy and I trained my bow on him once more. “I won’t,” I solidly said.

  “You would go back on your word to a man of God?” he asked.

  “You don’t understand. Please, call off the deal,” I begged, I really couldn’t let this man know I was a girl. After all, what on earth do you think he would tell God?

  The Friar narrowed his eyes and sized me up as he took a step closer to me. “You would not dare shoot a Friar.”

  I trembled as I fumbled in my cape for my horn. In desperation I brought it to my lips and blew before I flew away. The quick Friar grabbed my arm and halted my flight. “You will take me across!” he thundered.

  Suddenly the ground started to pound as a great thudding filled our ears. A minute later about forty of my Merry Men stormed to my side, Will Scarlet and Little John leading them.

  Much and Will Stutely gave me outraged looks after glancing at the Friar. I could tell that as soon as they got me home I was in for the lecture of a life time.

  “What seems to be the problem here?” Will Scarlet asked as he glanced back and forth between the Friar and I. He was trying to assess the situation and figure out how much trouble I had gotten myself into.

  The Friar turned to me. “You are Robin Hood?” he asked. I nodded. “Oh. You’re still taking me across the river,” he barked.

  “One of my men will take you,” I volunteered. Little John gave me an odd look before nodding and stepping forward.

  “No,” the Friar insisted. “We made a bargain that you would take me back across the river!”

  My men frowned and Will Stutely opened his large mouth. “See here Friar. Robin
Hood could not possibly carry you. You’re a bit too large for his slender build. Little John here will take you across,” he said as he lightly scowled at the Friar before shifting his gaze to me.

  I shrugged as I exchanged looks with Will Stutely, and there was a scuffle as the Friar burst toward me. Little John intercepted him, but not before the stout man was able to push me, sending me sprawling into the river.

  I had fallen in, landing on my butt in the shallower water. In my sitting position the water flowed up to my shoulders. Chattering slightly I had to fight back several howls while panic broke out across my men. The Friar look thoroughly satisfied and Will Scarlet and Little John stared at me with wide eyes as Will Stutely and Much screamed like little girls.

  “Alright, he’s wet, nothing to see, move along!” Hob said as he and Little John started pushing the laughing Friar away.

  “What is it with men and pushing me in rivers?” I stormed as I shook my fist before rising as the Friar was escorted away. To my utter horror he turned around one last time to gloat, pausing before his eyes widened to comic proportions. Of course, the water made my clothes stick to me, making my feminine body fairly obvious.

  Chapter 9

  Robbing Prince John

  Much and Will Stutely leaped protectively in front of me, and Will Scarlet quickly put his green cloak over my soggy form.

  Will Scarlet put an arm around my shoulder, and Hob and Little John proceeded to throttle each other. The rest of my Merry Man gathered around Much and Will Stutely, loudly asking them what we were to do.

  In the chaos, the friar worked his way back towards me. “That explains it,” he nodded. “I must apologize, for I had no idea,” he said with a rough smile. “I bet you have some story to tell.”

  “You have no idea.”

  “Friar Tuck,” he said, offering his hand.

  “Robyn Smith,” I smiled as we shook hands.

  “Well Robyn, as a Friar I want to offer my services to you and your men. Even though I am a man of God I was a tough fighter in my day,” he wolfishly grinned.

  “I have no doubt of that,” I dryly said as I pictured the short, fat friar shoving Little John aside like he was a puppy all so he could push me into the water. “Welcome, Friar Tuck, to my Merry Band,” I said with a big smile.