“It’s not a pretty story.” He slipped the fingers of his free hand through hers. “My dad was one of the guys you talked about, like the men on that site. Terrible to women and happy to show off a string of mistresses in public, regardless of what it did to my mom.”
Jordan closed her eyes on the wave of pain she heard in his deep voice. She bit back words of reassurance because she knew he didn’t want them. He was a strong man, full of pride, and it sounded as if every word ripped straight from his gut.
“When I got old enough and had a position in the family business—textiles, by the way—I tried to stage a takeover. It wasn’t about me or a power grab. I wanted to knock him off stride and use the time and opportunity to give my mother a chance to get away from him and all his strict, unbending rules about how a Redder should live.”
She knew the type. A nasty hypocrite. “The same rules he didn’t follow.”
“Exactly.” Forest hugged her a little tighter. “He was pious and judgmental and thought the rules just didn’t apply to him.”
“What happened?” Her voice came out scratchy and raw when she felt Forest kiss the top of her head.
“People in the company feared him and I was young. They wanted a sure thing and he got a warning in time to build a defense.” Forest cleared his throat. “My mom sided with him.”
Jordan sat up then and faced him. “What?”
“They’ve been married for more than thirty-five years now. She is the dutiful wife. He is the philandering husband.”
Forest held her gaze with an intensity that ripped away the last of her defenses. “And you got left behind in the fallout.”
“Something like that.”
“You did the right thing.” She kissed him then, quick and chaste. Not to rekindle the excitement, but to give some sort of comfort. It was her way of stopping the words that raced up her throat. The ones about being sorry. They sounded like pity and he didn’t need them.
She didn’t feel that, anyway. She mourned his loss of family, but what overwhelmed her was his personal strength. His sense of right and wrong.
“We all have family issues.” He said the words, let them hang out there.
She knew he was asking without asking. “I didn’t know my father. He was one in a long line of men my mother used to support her. See, that’s her career. She uses sex and whatever other skills she has to hold men who should be home with their wives or anywhere without her.”
His hand slipped to the back of her neck and his fingers started a gentle massage. “You’re nothing like her.”
Jordan wasn’t sure they knew each other long enough for him to make that leap, but she accepted the compliment because it meant everything. “Most men in your position would run after being told something like that.”
“Men can be idiots.”
“No ‘like mother, like daughter’ concerns?” The question hovered there until she regretted asking it in a moment of insecure weakness.
“Do you think I’m my father?”
She didn’t hesitate. “No.”
On some level she knew that was the truth. A man torn apart by his father’s antics wouldn’t run headlong into the same trap. And with his firm question, he answered hers. There was a strange comfort that came from having it all out there and meeting on a certain level of understanding.
Well, not everything was out. A huge secret stood between them and the internal battle over telling him or keeping it quiet had her head pounding.
“My fiancée left because I lost my position in the family firm.”
Looked like there was more than one item still outstanding. This was her last question for him. The one Jordan wanted to ask, but couldn’t put into words because with the information she held back she didn’t think she deserved to know the answer to this one.
But now she had it. “Men aren’t the only ones who can be idiots.”
“Very true.” His finger danced over the tip of her chin. “We have something else we need to talk about.”
She tensed, waiting for him to launch into a series of questions. If anyone could figure out her secret, it would be Forest. But that didn’t mean she had an answer prepared and ready to go. “Go ahead.”
“If we’re going to keep seeing each other, and I hope to hell that’s the case, we need to think about your temp position.”
Relief shot through her. This was about appearances and propriety. “I’ll tell my office Thursday is my last day.”
He frowned at her. “I don’t want to cost you work. It’s just that—”
“I get it.” Decent until the end. “I’d rather see you outside work than in.”
The wrinkled brow didn’t ease. “Are you sure?”
She let her hand wander down his chest and keep going. “Very.”
* * *
FOREST SAT IN his office three days later in the middle of a Saturday afternoon and stared at the information piled in front of him. He’d coaxed some of it out of the assistant in his office who he knew was a Need to Know member. Then there were the bits and pieces he collected from fellow businessmen and some stray comments on websites.
He’d taken it apart and put it back together three times. It was all circumstantial, but it fit. The timing of when Jordan started her temp jobs, the locations, the men she worked for and how that coincided with the information confirmed by the Need to Know staff.
Jordan might not run the site, but he’d bet the contents of his money market she was involved in some way.
Since that first night together, he’d stayed there every night. Between quick runs home for clothes, he visited her. They ate, talked, had incredible sex. He’d shared things with her about his family and his ex that he never told anyone. From the second he met her, he’d been falling for her—something unexpected that he didn’t try to fight.
And the whole time she’d been hiding a huge piece of information from him. He understood her motivation at the beginning, but she knew he had Ryan on his ass and spewing out lies. She did nothing to step up and help.
He let his head drop back against the chair. No, that wasn’t true. She offered to assist him by telling what happened in that meeting. She just failed to tell him all the information he needed to know about everything else.
And how fucking ironic was that?
“Forest, you okay?”
Her voice cut through the quiet room. He opened his eyes and slowly lifted his head. “Hey.”
She smiled at him from across the room. Between that face and the trim dark jeans his mind sputtered. He wanted to be furious, but in some ways he was more numb than anything. He needed her to say it, to open up and confide in him.
She walked over and stood across from him. Only a desk separated them. “You still want to have lunch or are you too busy?”
“I’m working on the Need to Know website.”
Her smile faltered. “What?”
“I want to talk to the owner.”
“How would that help?”
All his suspicions gelled. Her pale face and the way she balled her hands into fists told him something clicked through her brain and she wasn’t sharing. After all those hours in bed, whispering in the dark, she held back.
The reality of her deception nailed him like a kick to the stomach. “I’m thinking a united front against Ryan is the answer.”
She clenched and unclenched her hands. “He doesn’t have any power. You told me that yourself.”
“He’s the squeaky wheel and with other people wanting to dig behind the scenes at the website, men who feel like they’ve been burned, this is hanging around longer than it should.” Forest said anything to get her to admit the truth. He did want to talk with the owner and soon had to put the Ryan mess behind him, but mostly Forest wanted her to trust him enough to tell him.
He wanted their time together to mean something to her.
But he buried all of that under business talk. “I need to move the project forward, but I keep having to deal
with this crap instead.”
“What can I do?” For the first time since he met her, her voice sounded small and weak.
Hell, she was right there. So close. “Is there anything you need to tell me?”
“What?”
“I’m asking. Not judging, not demanding. I only want to understand.”
“I don’t...” Her voice trailed off and silence descended.
He laid a hand on top of the legal pad in front of him. Her gaze zoomed in on the writing beneath. “Say anything, Jordan.”
She shook her head. “It’s not that easy.”
They’d at least moved to the same page. “It is.”
“You don’t understand what it’s like—”
“To build something?” He was up and out of his chair and standing right next to her. He grabbed her upper arms, forcing his hold to remain loose so he didn’t hurt her. “I sure as hell do. You know the story. I got kicked out of the family business and had to start over.”
All the blood drained from her face. She rubbed a hand over her forehead as her body started to sway. “I needed somewhere to belong.”
He’d lived that. He got it. He just needed her to say the words. “Tell me the truth.”
She swallowed a few times. Words came out and sentences started. Then she stepped back, breaking the connection between them. “This isn’t just about me.”
“I get that.”
That determined chin lifted. “Frankly, Forest, this is my thing. It’s not about you. It’s not your business.”
Her words hit him like a body slam and his hands fell to his sides. “You’re right, Jordan. It’s about us. Or I thought it was.”
“What are you talking about?”
A mix of anger and confusion pounded off her. He could see the conflicting emotions battling. She wanted to tell and was desperate to keep the information to herself.
He decided to make it easier on her by backing away. It would be hell on him, but if she needed to stay in control this badly, because of her own dating history or her mom, fine. “I’m not sure there is an ‘us’ here.”
Jordan’s eyes narrowed as her anger took the lead. “What are you saying?”
It took every bit of strength in his body to walk away from her and head back to his side of the desk. He dropped onto his chair and picked up the telephone. He didn’t have anyone to call, but he needed something to hold on to.
“I have work to do.” He dismissed her without looking up.
“Don’t do this.”
He refused to look at her and see whatever emotions played on her face. He would not give in this time. “When you’re ready to talk, let me know. In the meantime, I’m going to handle this Ryan nonsense once and for all.”
“How?”
This time he did look up. Saw her face ravaged with pain and wide eyes stark with fear. He fought back the wave of caring and the side of him that wanted to fix this for her and focused on her refusal to let him in. “I’m thinking you don’t need to know.”
Chapter Twelve
Subject Request for Allan Heard: Went to his house and looked in an extra bedroom. There was this swing. Thoughts?
Response from Member 2: Honey, he is a genius with that swing. Go for it!
FIVE DAYS LATER Jordan hovered over her laptop, waiting for the link to pop up. The news teased an interview with Forest about the Need to Know website. She should be panicked about exposure, but all she could think about was losing him. Not having him in bed beside her.
She’d dragged around, cursing every hour since that scene in Forest’s office. He stood there, practically begging her to open up and she couldn’t find the words. She’d been tempted and on the verge, but then a lifetime of desperate visions flashed through her head. Her mother depending on this man and that one. The promises they made to her and how she got stuck as each one moved on to someone else.
Forest wasn’t like any of them, but he wasn’t the problem. She was. Fears swamped her and old insecurities rushed over her. The idea of letting him in had the air rattling in her chest and her stomach dropping to the floor.
After all her examples of what not to do and a string of Mr. Wrongs, she hesitated at that final step. Forest offered her opportunity after opportunity. Even now, giving her a daily call that started and ended with one simple question—is there anything you want to tell me? She begged him to come over, but his response was always the same. That damn question.
And Elle wasn’t any better. She was a one-woman cheerleader for Forest’s cause. Even now she paced the small space in front of the window.
She stopped and threw up her hands. “What are we doing here?”
“Work.”
“You’re sitting there, waiting to read whatever Forest says in his interview. Call and ask him.”
She’d tried that several times, but he wouldn’t budge off that question. The more he asked, the more entrenched she became. “He has the power to unmask me.”
“Something you should have done.”
A part of Jordan knew that was true. She’d traveled down this weird, lonely road for so long that she didn’t know how to step off.
She got up and headed for the kitchen. “We’re not having this argument again.”
“You’ve been kicking around here, sad and depressed for days. Since I love you, I will say what you should already know, what with you being a smart girl and all.”
Jordan held up a hand. Not that a gesture would ever stop Elle. “Don’t.”
“You have feelings for him. Serious feelings. Like, falling-for-him feelings.”
The words sliced through Jordan. The truth cut right to the bone.
It took her until this morning to realize that’s what all of this was about. She’d been hurt and unsure coming out of her last train wreck of a relationship. She’s been so sure about the kind of man she needed next. Not someone like Forest. The exact opposite was the answer. But her heart flipped when she saw him, and the sound of his voice had the power to make her weak.
Her vulnerability, her attraction to him, scared the hell out of her. It shouldn’t be like this. “I’ve only known him a short time.”
Elle snorted. “Because that’s the test.”
Jordan walked to the kitchen and back to her chair. It was mindless, aimless movement. “I made a promise not to tell.”
“It is your secret. You can tell whomever you want, and he gave you the opening to tell him.” Elle sat on the arm of the couch and stared at Jordan as if willing her to believe.
“He practically demanded it.”
“I know trust is hard for you.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Every word hammered a crack in Jordan’s defenses. She had so little shield left.
The days without seeing Forest broke her. In such a short amount of time she switched from not knowing him to not wanting to be without him. And how sick was that? Maybe she was more like her mother than she pretended to be. So easily caught up in a man that she forgot her promises and moved his needs to the top of her list.
Her computer dinged. “Here it is.”
Elle came around to Jordan’s side of the computer. “The article?”
“It’s a video clip.” The little start arrow was right there, taunting her.
Elle reached across the keyboard. “Hit Play.”
“Yeah, I know how this works.” Jordan got to it first. Her finger hovered, but she didn’t push.
Elle sighed. “You’re stalling.”
With a deep inhale, Jordan clicked the link. Forest’s face filled the screen. He stood there in his sharp suit, looking in command and a little tired. She wanted to touch the screen, but knew that bordered on pathetic. After a few introductory remarks, they got to the good stuff. Forest’s deep voice broke through her small condo.
“Despite all the accusations, I ended the deal with Ryan Peterson and his company due to performance evaluations. I am trying to be respectful here, but this had to do with man
agement flaws and financial concerns. This was a business decision unrelated to his personal life.”
Elle lifted a fist in the air. “Score one for the hottie.”
Jordan wasn’t quite ready to celebrate. Every word he spoke was the truth, but he still held the power to mess up her world. And when he opened his mouth again, she feared the end was coming.
“But I would like to say that I find nothing wrong with the Need to Know site. Dating isn’t easy and women do need to protect themselves, because not every man is worth trusting. But some of us are.”
He looked straight into the camera as he delivered that last part. She expected a rush of relief, but it never came. The flipping sensation in her stomach didn’t ease. He supported her and she walked away. The reality of that disparity made her dizzy.
The final question had to do with his dating status. She held her breath, waiting for him to declare he was single.
“I’m in a relationship, but that’s all the comment you’re getting on that.”
Jordan had to grab on to the edge of the desk to keep from falling over. A relationship. The scared and insecure part of her shouted that he meant someone else, but deep down she knew that wasn’t true. He was talking directly to her.
Elle slapped her hand against the desk. “Well, there you go.”
Too stunned to say anything coherent and still reeling, Jordan went with the obvious. “He didn’t out me.”
“That man just made a huge gesture. He kept your secret and gave you that flirty smile through the camera.”
Jordan saw it all the same way. “I don’t—”
“Don’t think. Don’t try to reason it all out. Feel.” Elle slipped to her knees beside Jordan. “You deserve this. You get to be happy, too, and I’m thinking this guy could be it.”
The denials died in her throat. “He’s everything that’s always scared the crap out of me.”
“And he’s proven over and over that he’s worth the risk. If I were you, I’d go to his office and drag him back to bed. Or finally try that desk chair.” Elle shrugged. “Your choice.”
Everything You Need to Know Page 11