by E. L. Todd
“Abby.” Arsen’s voice rang with authority. “Don’t insult Silke like that.”
It didn’t bother me. I was just happy we were all together, even if Abby hated the brussel sprouts.
“Apologize,” Arsen commanded.
Abby sighed. “Sorry…”
I smiled. “It’s okay, Abby.”
***
Arsen and I read Abby a story before she went to bed and kissed her goodnight. Her eyes were already closed and she was drifting off into dreamland. It hit me then that Abby was really my daughter. She was my responsibility and I would love her for the rest of my life. I didn’t have a lot of experience with kids before Abby came into the picture, but once she was here I just learned.
Arsen and I went into our bedroom down the hall then got ready for bed. We brushed our teeth at the sink and washed our faces. Then I pulled one of his t-shirts on.
He smacked my ass. “What’s the point of putting clothes on when I’m just going to take them off?”
“It makes you work a little harder.” I got into bed and sunk into the covers.
He lay beside me and enveloped me with his touch. He brushed his nose against my cheek and made a sigh of satisfaction. “My wife.” He pulled down the neck of the shirt to expose my shoulder. Then he pressed a gentle kiss there.
I loved it when he called me that.
“You have no idea how nice it is having you in this bed.” He took a deep breath, burying his face in my neck. “It’s like…I got my life back. But this time it’s better.”
My hand rested over his.
“I’ll never ruin this again. I promise.”
He was constantly apologetic, still remorseful for everything that happened. He kissed the ground I walked on and always went the extra mile to make me happy. He lived his entire life for Abby and I. Not once did he do something for himself. The entire focus was shifted to us. “I know.”
He tightened his grip on me. “I love you with all my heart.”
“I love you too, Husband.”
He kissed the back of my neck and continued to hold me. He didn’t try to make love to me or even kiss me. All he wanted was to hold me, to cherish me, while we fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Chapter Five
Arsen
I stared at my tattoo while I sat at my desk. It was black and bold, almost looking like a piece of metal because of the intensity of the color. I was a married man, and I found the woman I was destined to be with.
She saved me.
Abby had a mother to look after her, I had a wife I adored, and Silke was getting the best husband in the world. I wouldn’t screw it up again and I would make sure she got everything she deserved.
No more messing around.
I’ve finally come to a place in my life where everything feels right. I know exactly who I am and where I belong. It took me far too long to get here, but at least I arrived before it was too late. I almost sabotaged my own happiness.
And I wouldn’t have gotten it back.
If Silke really moved on and found her happily ever after with someone else, I wouldn’t have gone on. It would be impossible for me to watch her have the life I should have given her. I doubt I would have been able to even live in the same city as she did.
But she married me and spared me that pain.
At lunchtime I decided to swing by Ryan’s shop. He was probably there doing absolutely nothing behind the desk. Or he was exchanging dirty messages with Janice. That seemed to be his favorite pasttime.
When I walked inside he was sitting behind the counter, on his phone like I suspected.
“Hey.” I put my hands in the pockets of my jeans.
He laughed at the screen then looked up. “Sorry, man. I was playing scrabble with Mike and he used a really dirty word.”
“Did he get a lot of points for it?”
“Yeah. That’s what makes it ridiculous.” He shoved his phone into his pocket and stood up. “What’s up, Son? You want to get lunch?”
“If you have the time.”
He smiled. “I’ve got all the time in the world for my family.” He hopped over the counter and walked out with me. “I’m in the mood for a burger. Is that cool?”
“Absolutely cool.”
“Sweet.” He wore a dark blue hoodie with holes in the sleeves. In the years I’d known him he never changed.
“How’s Sean doing?”
“He’s still being a drama queen over the whole thing. He needs to chill.”
“I feel bad for him.” Sean was one of the greatest men I knew. He did a lot for me when he didn’t have to, and Scarlet was always sweet to me. I saw the way he loved his kids and took care of his family. “He doesn’t deserve this.”
“Most people don’t,” Ryan said calmly. “But it is what it is. The people close to him know the truth. Honestly, nothing else should matter.”
We walked inside Mega Shake and ordered our food before we sat down in our regular booth.
“Is there something we can do to help him?” I asked.
“Nope,” Ryan said. “Unless the media asks for interviews with friends and family. And if they did, I’d make Sean look like the man of the year.”
He was the man of the year.
“So, how are the new living arrangements?” He licked the salt off his fingers.
“Great. It’s nice being a family again. It’s the best thing for Abby.” And it’s definitely the best thing for me.
“I’ve never seen Silke so happy. It’s amazing how quickly the transformation happened. She was depressed one day, and then the next day she was a whole new person.”
That made me feel warm inside.
“You know two people belong together when they make each other happy.” He kept eating like he wasn’t saying anything important. “It’s a two-way street.”
“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What?” He sipped his root beer.
“I just want you to know I won’t lose my way again. I’ll be everything Silke deserves.” I really disappointed him when I screwed everything up. He stayed by my side but he didn’t hide the fact he thought less of me.
His voice grew soft. “I know, Arsen.”
“And I never apologized to you for the things I said…the way I blew up at you.”
“It’s water under the bridge, Arsen.” He brushed it off like he did everything else. “I knew you were in a really dark place. I suspected you would behave that way.”
“That doesn’t make it right.”
“Nobody is perfect,” Ryan said. “And if you meet someone who is perfect, you know they’re hiding a ton of shit in their closet. Really, don’t sweat it.”
I still felt guilty as hell. “After everything you did for me—”
He raised his hand. “We all mess up. It happens. I don’t hold anything against you. I believe in you, Arsen. I know you had a rough time getting to where you are now. I went through the same thing when I was your age. There’s no one in this world that understands that more than I do. So, forgive yourself and just be happy.” He grabbed my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
He was letting me off the hook so easily. Ryan wasn’t the kind of guy to hold a grudge. That’s probably why he was the mellowest person on the planet. “Thank you for giving me another chance.”
“I’ll give you as many chances as you need, Son. You know I’m never going anywhere.” He went back to eating his fries.
I was the luckiest man in the world. None of the beautiful things that happened to me would have ever come to pass if I hadn’t spotted Silke in that bar. I didn’t just get her. I got everyone in the family. Being a part of that, being among them, was a gift that couldn’t be quantified. Their inner circle was impenetrable from the outside. The glue that held them together was solid. But they allowed me to be a part of that.
To be one of them.
***
I walked in the house and set my keys on the entryway table. “Beauty, I’m
home.”
“We’re in the kitchen,” she called.
I hung my jacket on the coatrack before I walked further into the house.
Silke and Abby were standing at the counter, Abby on a chair, and they were decorating cookies.
“Daddy, look!” Abby held up a cookie that looked like Olaf, the snowman from Frozen. “Look what I made.”
“Whoa, sweetheart. That’s really good.” I carried the flowers I got Silke further into the kitchen. “I can’t wait to eat them.”
Silke eyed the flowers and smiled at me.
“Just wanted to get something for my wife.” I loved referring to her as that. Knowing she was mine forever, that we were the same person, made me higher than a kite.
She took the flowers and smelled them. “Thank you.”
I gave her a slow kiss on the lips, wishing we were alone together. I loved having Abby in my life but sometimes I missed the freedom Silke and I used to have. I could walk in the door and take her right on the couch without having to think about anyone else.
“These will look beautiful in a vase.” She grabbed one from under the sink and filled it with water.
I came beside Abby and watched what she was doing. “You guys have fun today?”
“Yeah,” Abby said. “We’ve been making cookies all day.”
“Are you planning on eating all of these?”
“Yep.”
I grabbed one of her cookies and moved it to my mouth.
“Hey.” She swatted my hand. “Daddy, you can’t eat one until after dinner.”
My own words were biting me in the ass. “It’s just one…”
“You heard her, Arsen.” Silke gave me a playful look.
“Ugh.” I set the cookie down. “Fine…I’ll wait until after dinner.”
“Good,” Abby said. “And you better eat all of those brussel sprouts.”
I gave her a gentle tickle before I walked to Silke. She wore skin-tight yoga pants and a loose fitting sweater that still highlighted all of her curves. Her hair was pulled over one shoulder and in a loose braid. When she did the bare minimum she still looked beautiful. I didn’t know how she managed it. “I missed you today.”
“I missed you too.”
I wrapped my arms around her and held her to my chest. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“Yeah?”
I kissed her temple and breathed in her scent. “I never stop thinking about you.” Now that I knew what life was like without her, I treasured her even more. Every moment was a gift.
“Funny,” she whispered. “I never stop thinking about you either.”
Chapter Six
Conrad
Lexie had been back in New York for over a month but nothing physical happened between us. I never made a move because I wasn’t ready. Intimacy wasn’t something I could handle right now. Meaningless sex was a walk in the park for me. I’d been doing it for a long time. But something real, something passionate, was beyond my abilities at the moment.
I guess I just wasn’t there yet.
Whenever Lexie walked passed me I checked out her curves. When she sat close to me on the couch I wondered how her lips would feel against my mouth. Whenever we lay in bed together, Apollo between us, I wondered how it would feel to make love to her again.
I hadn’t made love to anyone but her since we met. I gave her everything I had, every ounce of my heart. It wasn’t easy to do it again when I was still desolated. Hopefully, time would heal that.
Lexie and I got ice cream then walked back to my apartment. We spent a lot of time together, trying to recapture the rare relationship we had before. Maybe we would never get it back but it was worth a try.
“So…have you talked to Roland?” She had orange sorbet with rainbow sprinkles.
I was almost done with mine. I had to pace myself because I was used to demolishing everything the second it was placed in front of me. “No.” I tried not to think about Roland and the last thing he said to me. He told me he missed me.
And I missed him.
“Maybe you should give him a call…” Lexie was Roland’s number one supporter. “Keep in mind none of this would have happened if I wasn’t so stupid. I was the one who screwed up. But Roland seems to be taking a lot of heat for it.”
“He took my mail.”
“But he never would have taken it if I hadn’t broken your heart. What I did was stupid and selfish. What Roland did was selfless. He was trying to do the right thing. If you can forgive me, then you can definitely forgive him.”
“Lexie, it’s different.”
“Exactly,” she said. “So, why are you being so hard on him?”
“Because he’s been my best friend since I took my first breath. I have different expectations and standards for him. Women come and go, but he and I are forever. That’s why it hurts me so much.”
She looked down at her ice cream and picked at it. She was probably hurt about that ‘women come and go’ part. “If that’s how you really feel then you definitely need to forgive him. You’re right. Roland is never going to go away. He’ll always be your family.”
“Well, I’m not ready yet.”
“Roland is suffering every single day you wait to make up with him.”
“Well, I suffered every single day without that letter.”
“Conrad, don’t be petty.”
I’d lost my appetite altogether but I kept eating. “You don’t understand. You were gone for six months so you don’t have any right to tell me what I should do. So, just stay out of it.”
Lexie fell silent, putting more space between us as we walked together.
I tossed my cup in the garage because I didn’t want anything in my stomach at the moment.
“I’m sorry I pissed you off but I’m trying to do the right thing. Roland is one of the most important people in your life. I’m not letting you lose him. If I had a choice, I would much rather you forgive him than me.”
“Is that so?” I asked coldly.
Her voice came out firm. “Yes. If I had a friend that was willing to risk her own neck just to help me out, I’d consider myself lucky. The fact Roland admitted to everything when he didn’t have to was also a testament to his loyalty. Conrad, just let it go.”
“Just stay out of it,” I snapped. “It doesn’t concern you.”
She tossed her ice cream in the garage and didn’t look at me again.
The walk back to the apartment was tense. I felt my anger burn behind my eyes, and I could sense her irritation at my stubbornness. My emotions were out of whack. I was in love with the woman who ripped me apart, and I felt betrayed by my best friend in the world. How much worse could it get?
My question was answered.
Just outside my apartment building I saw a familiar face. With six other guys with him, Georgia Price’s husband headed down the sidewalk right toward us. Was it a coincidence he was right outside my building? Or was he purposely outside my building?
Every muscle in my body tensed in preparation for a brawl. I’d gotten my ass kicked before because it was eight to one. Six to one still wasn’t very good odds. I wasn’t scared. But I was concerned for Lexie, who was standing right beside me.
When Price’s eyes met mine he smiled. There was no surprise on his face, like he expected this meeting or hoped it would come to pass. “Well, look who it is, boys.” He cracked his knuckles with his hands.
Lexie eyed them warily, and she immediately came closer into my side.
Price looked at her, his eyes lingering too long on her pretty blonde hair. “It looks like Preston has a friend…a pretty friend.”
I grabbed her arm and kept her by my side, blocking her from view of Price and his gang. It was late out and most of the streetwalkers were inside. Even if they were around, New Yorkers kept their head down and minded their own business. Lexie and I were pretty much on our own. “Is there something I can help you with?”
“Yeah, there is.” Price dropped his a
rms to his sides like he was ready to throw a punch. “Georgia just handed me some divorce papers today. Can you believe it? She cheats on me but wants to leave me?” He shook his head. “Apparently, she wants to find a nice guy. A nice guy like Conrad Preston.”
I knew I wouldn’t be able to talk my way out of this one.
“So, an eye for an eye,” he continued. “Loan me your girl.”
I’d rather die.
Price whistled then beckoned Lexie toward him. “Come here, sexy thing. I’ll be real gentle with you.”
Lexie breathed hard from beside me, clearly terrified.
I didn’t care what happened to me but I wasn’t letting a damn thing happen to her. “I’m sorry for what I did with Georgia. I really mean it.”
“You really mean it?” he asked incredulously. “You knew she was married but you still screwed her. My wife.”
“I wasn’t in the right state of mind at the time. The most I can do is apologize. You and your boys already gave me a good beating before. Let’s leave it at that.”
Price was quiet like he was considering it. He rubbed his chin and kept his eyes glued to mine. “No. That’s not good enough, asshole. My wife just left me. And I’m going to make you pay for it.”
“Then beat the shit out of me. Kill me if you want. But the girl stays out of it.”
He chuckled. “Now that I know exactly how much she means to you, it’s not gonna happen.”
The rage was burning under my skin, making my entire body flush with heat. “What happened with Georgia was consensual. I never did anything against her will or made her uncomfortable. What you’re implying is at a whole new level.”
“Well, my anger is at a whole new level. Now hand her over.”
Lexie was starting to hyperventilate.
I lowered my voice so they couldn’t hear me. “Lexie, run. Run and don’t look back.”
“I can’t leave you.”
I squeezed her wrist painfully. “Run and don’t make me ask you again.” I shoved her forward then blocked her line of path so she could get away.
Price clapped his hands. “I love a good chase.”
The first guy sprinted after Lexie but I tripped him and slammed him to the ground. Another one tried to pass me and I jumped on him and made him slam down face first.