by E. L. Todd
“Nothing grosses me out.”
“I still don’t think that’s conclusive.”
“Then why is she so withdrawn whenever I’m around her?” I asked. “Just last week she was riding my dick like a damn pogo stick. Now she won’t even kiss me.”
Cayson sighed into the phone. “Skye was weird about it too. After she started to get heavier she didn’t want me to see her naked anymore. She insisted she was some hideous blob.”
“But Trinity is hardly showing.”
“Yeah,” Cayson agreed. “But Trinity has been a stick her entire life. Maybe she’s struggling with the body change. It might be more dramatic for her because her frame is so slender.”
“I guess…”
“I wouldn’t jump to the worst possible conclusion,” Cayson reasoned. “Keep in mind she’s carrying your baby. She’s entitled to be a little moody from time to time.”
Moodiness was fine. That didn’t bother me. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong—on an emotional level.
“Did that help?”
I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me. “I’m not sure yet.”
***
I walked in the door and set the bags on the counter. “I got those salads you like.” There was a juice bar near my shop that had these salads Trinity couldn’t get enough of. I asked them to put a ton of chicken on top so she would get some much-needed protein.
“Thanks.” She was sitting on the couch in her pajamas. Her hair was thrown into a bun and a blanket covered her thighs. It was clear she hadn’t showered or done anything productive.
“Are you hungry?”
“I’ll eat in a little bit.”
I tossed everything in the fridge then sat beside her on the couch. “How was your day?”
“It was okay.” She tightened the blanket around her like she was cold.
“I’m going to take a shower. How about you join me?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “You go on ahead.”
What did I have to do to get laid around here? “Did you work today?”
“I did a few things…”
She hadn’t hugged me or kissed me. Usually when we saw each other after work we made love or at least cuddled close to each other. She was treating me like I was her friend, not her husband. “I guess I’ll shower by myself.” I hopped off the couch and stormed into the bedroom, unable to keep my irritation back. I knew I should be more patient but I was sick of the way she was closing off from me. A part of me expected her to come after me and apologize but when I turned around she was nowhere to be found.
***
That night we went to bed side-by-side. The night had been spent in silence because she didn’t feel like talking. I got tired of initiating all the conversations so I decided to let her do it.
But she didn’t say anything.
If being pregnant was the cause of all this turmoil I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have another kid. How could her attitude change that quickly? Almost overnight she became a different person. It didn’t make any sense.
Trinity didn’t set her alarm clock and then she turned into my side and snuggled close to me. Her arm wrapped around my waist and she buried her face into my side.
I watched her, hoping for a turnaround.
She closed her eyes and lay there, gripping me like I might slip away.
Maybe she finally came out of her funk. Since I hit puberty I’ve only gone a few days without getting laid. Right now I was pushing the limit. I didn’t just want sex. I wanted my wife.
So, I went for it.
I gently rolled her to her back then moved on top of her. I wanted to be inside her, to feel the familiar tightness and wetness. Whenever it was just she and I, the physical aspects were enjoyable. But I also loved the connection of our souls. That intimacy, that love, is what bound me to her so tightly.
I kissed her neck then the hollow of her throat, feeling my dick swell in excitement. She wore one of my t-shirts and I slowly pulled it up to expose her stomach.
Trinity wasn’t into it like she usually was. Her nails didn’t dig into my back and she didn’t make those sexy noises I loved. She was quiet, practically limp.
I was so horny I didn’t care.
I pulled her underwear over then rubbed her clitoris with my fingers. Then I kissed her softly on the mouth.
Trinity tensed underneath me, but not in a good way. She stiffened in repulsion then pressed her hand to my chest. “Stop.”
Never in my life had she said that to me. I didn’t even know how to react to the words. Her hand kept the pressure in my chest, and the weakness was in her voice. Unsure what else to do, I pulled away and leaned back on the balls of my feet.
She moved from underneath me then scooted to the edge of the bed. Without looking at me she said, “I’m sorry. I’m just not feeling well.” She turned on her side and faced the other way.
In shock, I stayed in the same spot. She didn’t want me? What made her so sick that she didn’t want to make love to me? “Trinity, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing serious. Just uncomfortable.”
I lay beside her. “Uncomfortable enough that you don’t want to have sex with your husband? Trinity, maybe I should take you to the emergency room.”
“No, it’s fine.”
“What hurts, exactly?”
“I didn’t say anything hurt. I just feel…uncomfortable.”
“But what does that mean?” I pressed.
“I just need some sleep.” She pulled the blanket over her shoulder.
My anger was rising like steam in the bathroom. It was floating further up to the ceiling and was about to reach its highest point. “There’s something wrong and I want to know what it is. Unless you’re actually sick, there’s no reason why you should ignore me when I come home and flinch every time I touch you. I know you went to Skye’s house to talk about something so you better tell me whatever the hell it is.”
She faced the opposite wall and didn’t move.
“Trinity.” The ferocity burned in my voice.
“I went to Skye’s to talk about pregnancy and stuff…nothing important.”
“Then why have you been acting this way? Last week you couldn’t get enough sex from me, and now it feels like you’re repulsed by me.”
“It’s not you.”
“It sure feels like it.”
“I’m just—”
“Don’t you dare say uncomfortable.”
She paused before she continued talking. “I’m just not in the mood.”
“You were in the mood last week.”
“Well, my hormones were all out of whack.”
I couldn’t battle my anger because I still had the feeling there was more to this story. “Trinity, I’m frustrated and concerned right now.” I moved behind her and wrapped my arm around her.
She flinched again, like she didn’t want to be touched.
“See?” I snapped. “What the hell is up with that?”
“I just—”
“Are you mad at me or something?”
“No…” Her voice grew quiet.” I just…” And that’s when the tears started. She sniffed then started to cry quietly, holding her arms to her chest.
What have I done? “Trinity, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled.” I wrapped my arms around her and turned her around so she was facing me. Then I pulled her into my chest and ran my fingers through her hair. “I’m sorry, baby. Please don’t cry.” I kissed her forehead. Whenever she cried, I wanted to cry.
She buried her face in my chest and didn’t move.
I was too harsh on her. Whenever she had these mood swings I had to keep in mind she was carrying my baby. “Shh…”
Trinity calmed down and her tears dissipated. She remained buried into my chest, her arm around my waist. A quiet sigh escaped her lips, like this was where she wanted to be.
I continued to run my fingers through her hair as I stared at the ceiling.
“Dad, I need to talk.” My voice was cracking because it was so sore.
He looked up at me over the counter, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “You just hit puberty?”
All the guys laughed.
“Then there’s no way Trinity’s baby is yours,” he teased.
“Ha ha,” I said sarcastically. “You’re just jealous I have a record deal and you don’t.”
“I wouldn’t want one if I sounded like that all the time.” Dad shut the register then came around the counter. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Marriage bullshit.”
He chuckled. “Wow. That’s romantic.”
“Trinity’s been weird lately and I kind of snapped at her last night. She started crying…it was an ordeal. Anyway, I was wondering what I should do. Should I go by her office and bring her flowers? Candy?”
“What were you fighting about?”
I didn’t hesitate in my answer. “Sex.”
Dad raised both eyebrows.
“We were at it like crazy last week, but this week she won’t even let me touch her. Every time I ask what’s wrong she just says she’s uncomfortable. I got frustrated so I snapped at her…”
“Men become different people when they’re either horny or hungry. And if they’re both, watch out. When I married your mother I told her as long as she makes sure neither one of those things happen we’d have a long and happy marriage.”
I didn’t mind talking about my sex life but I didn’t like hearing about his with Mom. “Anyway…what should I do?”
“You don’t need to bring her flowers or candy,” he said. “Just write a quick poem or a song and give it to her. That sounds more like you.”
I nodded in agreement. “That’s not a bad idea.”
“I know.” He grabbed a pen and paper and handed them over. “Now get to it.”
***
I walked to Denise’s desk with the poem in my pocket. A guy in a suit was standing there. He had dark hair, fair skin, and he looked really familiar. I tried to place him and it took nearly a full minute to remember. He was that Shot guy, some designer Trinity was working with.
“She’s not here?” Shot asked. “When will she be back?”
“I really can’t say,” Denise said, looking mesmerized by Shot’s good looks.
“Can I have her cell number to give her a call?”
“I’m not allowed to give out that information.”
He nodded slowly, clearly disappointed.
I approached the desk, wondering if Trinity was really here but she just didn’t want to see anybody.
Shot turned my way and when he recognized me he automatically stepped back like he was terrified. His hands were out of his pockets and at his sides, ready to be used in battle.
Okay… “Hi,” I said awkwardly. “I think we met last week.”
His guard was still up.
Damn, what did Trinity say about me? That I was a psycho jealous husband? Actually, I hoped she said that. If she could wear a sandwich board with those exact words it would be awesome. “Well, it’s nice to see you.”
Shot put his hands in his pockets, his eyes still trained on me. “You too.” He quickly darted around me and left the hallway.
Was he scared of me or something?
Denise turned her eyes back to me when he was gone. “What’s up, Slade?”
“I’m her to see my lady.” I pulled the note out of my pocket. “I wrote her something. We kind of got into a fight last night…”
“Well, she’s really not here.”
“She’s not?” Where would she be? “Is she at lunch?”
“No…” Denise fidgeted under my stare. “She resigned as CEO of the company. We’re in the process of finding a replacement.”
What?
Resigned?
When?
Wasn’t this something she should discuss with me?
Her husband?
“Are you sure…?”
Denise pressed her lips tightly together and nodded. “Unfortunately. She still wants to do creative stuff but from home. She’ll fax everything and the new CEO will be in charge of everything else. She’s still the main shareholder of the company. She just has someone do everything for her.”
What. The. Fuck.
I turned on my heel and walked off. “I’ve got to go.”
***
When I came home Trinity was laying on the couch with a blanket tucked around her. She was eating a bag of potato chips.
Potato chips? I’ve never seen Trinity eat chips in my life. “What the hell?”
She flinched when she heard the door slam. Her hand immediately flew to her chest. “Oh…you scared me.”
“Well, you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.” I stood in front of the TV, unable to contain my menace. “You resigned from the company?”
“Oh…that.” She slowly sat up, her hair thrown in a messy bun. Trinity was never lazy. The only time I saw her without her hair being done was when she woke up in the morning. The rest of the time she was a beauty queen.
“Yes, that,” I snapped.
“I’m not really resigning. I’m just having someone else run it so I can stay home.”
Did I miss something here? “Have someone else run it? Why the hell would you want to do that? Why would you make such a big decision without talking to me first?”
“I don’t know…I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
“Not a big deal?” I asked. “You worked your ass off to start this company and now you’re done? What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t you dare tell me nothing.” My head was about to explode.
“I’ve decided I want to be a full-time mom. I want to stay home with our kids, and I want to travel the world with you. We can be a family.”
“What?” I asked. “You want to give up your dream so I can live mine? That’s not the woman I know.”
“Well, things change.” She ate another potato chip.
“Not that quickly,” I said. “Why won’t you talk to me? Come on, it’s me.”
“I told you the truth,” she said. “I just want to stay home.”
“But you’re only three months along…you’ve got another three months before maternity leave starts. You’re barely showing.”
“I want time to get ready for the baby.”
I gave her an incredulous look. “By laying on the couch all day and watching soap operas?”
“Don’t make fun of me,” she snapped.
“I’m not making fun of you,” I said. “I’m just pointing out this isn’t you at all. If Skye did this I wouldn’t be surprised, but it doesn’t make any sense coming from you. I woke up one morning and my wife was a completely different person.”
“I’m the same…I’m just…I don’t know.”
What the hell was going on here? “Trinity, I’m scared. Like, I’m actually scared. Why are you acting like this? What happened? There’s something you aren’t tell me.”
She stared down at her bag of potato chips and remained quiet. The TV played in the background, the music from the soap opera loud in my ears. She fidgeted with the bag in her hands, making it crinkle loudly. “Nothing happened,” she whispered. “I’m fine.”
***
I burst into Skye’s house without knocking and slammed the door.
Skye screamed from the living room at the sudden noise.
“What was that?” Cayson asked.
I stormed into the living room, ready to murder someone.
Cayson breathed a sigh of relief when he realized it was me. “Its just Slade.”
I pushed him aside and marched right up to Skye. Cedric was in his playpen so she wasn’t holding him. “Tell me what the fuck happened with Trinity.” I didn’t mean to yell but everything came out like a megaphone. “I know she told you and you better tell me what she said. I mean it. I will rip this house apart unless you start talking.”
Skye stepped back, horror w
ritten all over her face. She was actually scared of me, and she’d never been scared of me all her life.
“Back up, asshole.” Cayson moved in front of her and shoved me. “Don’t talk to my wife like that. I don’t give a shit who you are or what you’re pissed about. I will put you in the ground, motherfucker.”
I didn’t look at him once, my eyes still glued to Skye. “You need to tell me whatever it is she told you. Last week we were screwing like rabbits and this week she won’t let me touch her. She doesn’t eat and she doesn’t talk. She’s like a zombie. And then she resigned from her position at the company so she can stay home and watch TV all day long. Now, tell me what happened to my wife because I’m fucking terrified.”
Guilt moved across her face. She knew something.
Cayson pushed me again. “What did I just say?”
“Cayson, it’s okay.” Skye’s weak voice trailed to our ears.
“No, it’s not,” Cayson said, his heated eyes still on me. “If I spoke to Trinity that way Slade would cut me.”
Yeah, I probably would. “Skye, I need to know. Whatever it is, it’s not a simple problem. It’s eating away at her. She’s not the same person anymore. She tells me everything but she won’t say a word about this. My wife is slowly disappearing and some ghost is replacing her. How can I help her if I don’t know what’s going on? Please. Help. Me.” If fear didn’t work then begging might.
Skye crossed her arms over her chest.
Cayson was still between us.
I walked around him and came closer to Skye. “Tell me. Please.”
Skye closed her eyes like this situation was difficult.
“You need to tell me, Skye. I need to take care of my wife.”
“I can’t…”
“Yes, you can.” I took another step forward. “She won’t crack. I’ve asked her a hundred times but she still won’t answer me.”
“I promised her. I wish I could tell you but I promised.”
“What good is the promise if Trinity needs help?” I snapped. “You’re going to let your best friend suffer? She needs me. She won’t tell me what it is, but if she did I would be able to fix it.”
Skye looked at the ground.
A million terrifying things came to my mind. “Did she lose the baby?” My voice broke when I asked the question. Just the possibility made me want to die. I wasn’t ready to be a father before Trinity was pregnant, but the second her belly started to show I got excited.