More strikes, and soon wood started to splinter. A sickening crunch as her gate was beaten down. Her hand reclenched its grip around her spear, where a hard shard of ice adorned its tip. That ice would freeze any heart it struck. In truth, she didn't know if she could use it on Balder, but she had no qualms about using it on his brother. That would hurt Balder more than dying.
The strikes stopped and the hound's incensed growls turned to barks. But then to a scream and whimper. The sound had her marching to the entrance of her hall. "How dare you kill my dog?!" she roared.
Two bloodied men stood there, their weapons in hand, and her dog lying dead on the ground. "You killed my dog," she said icily through gritted teeth. With her magic, she conjured a snow flurry with ice that sliced them. Streaks of blood appeared across their skin before they could hide in their cloaks. "You dare attack me, you coward."
"I've come for my wife," Balder said.
Hel laughed. "You come for an empty shell. Well, she's not for you to take. You have no right to her. She belongs to me."
Vali stood with his legs apart, his hand firmly on the handle of Mjolnir. Oh how she hated him. He had started all this. They had all been fine before he’d come along. The problem was, that if she struck him down with her spear, she couldn't entirely insure Balder wouldn't strike her with Odin's spear.
"I have defeated your army," Balder said coldly. There was no softness or desire in his eyes now. Instead, pure hatred. Oh he hated her, did he? No gratitude for all the things she had done for him. If it wasn't for her, he would be a turnip like his stupid shadow of a wife, who had no strength and no character.
"You are weak just like your woman," she spat.
Balder stepped close and Hel didn't flinch or back down if that was what he expected.
"If you want to be with her, you will simply have to don my shoes like you did before."
"So you can enchant me with potions and magic?"
"When you see what she is like you'll understand the favor I did you."
"You have bespelled her too."
Hel snorted. "Humans are not meant for eternal life."
There was a warning in Balder's eyes. Who was he to warn her? It wasn't she who was stupid enough to marry a human. "See for yourself," she said, her hand showing him inside. "She wants nothing from you. She wants me to put her back into nothingness. Actually, I think she would be grateful if I kill her. Maybe I'll offer. Do you think she would rather go with you, or have me kill her?"
"Once free of you, she will revive."
"You think so? You think she wants you? From what I hear, she never did."
Balder's mouth grew tight with displeasure.
Anger at his behavior boiled inside her. It was disrespectful coming here like this, destroying her door and her dog. It was something she would not forget and there would be consequences. Hel would see to it. If he wanted a war with her, he would have it.
But her anger had gotten the better of her and she had let him too close, taking her by surprise as his hand came to clasp around her throat. Curiously, she wanted to know if he would really hurt her. His grip was tight—she could see the anger in his eyes. But anger was far from indifferent, and that was interesting. Indifference was all he was going to get from Nanna. Maybe that was the fate he deserved. Hel hissed.
With Balder's grip on her, Vali entered her hall without her permission. In that moment, Hel wished she could murder Balder with her eyes. She could, however, render another snow flurry that sliced his skin. The pain didn't make Balder falter in his grip. He was strong—always had been.
"You will beg for forgiveness," she hissed. "I will not forget this. May your well be poisoned."
"The only poison comes from you," he said in return. She had never seen him hard like this. This was the real Balder. Not quite the ray of golden sunshine the songs portrayed.
"You should kiss my feet for all the things I have done for you."
"Stolen my thoughts and my mind for thousands of years."
"You were treated like a king in my hall."
"A place I never wished to be."
"Are you sure?" she said with a smile. "You can't really be sure, though, can you? How much were you simply complicit in what happened? You'd like to blame this all on me, thinking you had no say. Not so, lover. You are as much responsible for this as I am."
"You lie."
"Do I? Are you sure? Or perhaps you are very good at deceiving yourself. If you had really loved your wife, my enchantments would have had no influence on you at all."
"Lie!" he yelled, and threw her back, where she fell down.
Hel could only laugh. "You are a fool. I am embarrassed I put so much stock in you. You were never worthy, and you aren't now. Best of times with your dead-fish wife." Spite riddled her words, but she wasn't lying about any of it. No magic quelled true love. It is the strongest form of magic—untouchable by magic or sword.
Vali carried Nanna out and they retreated. There was no one left to champion her, but it didn't matter. Balder should be careful what he wished for, because he was now going to get it. And she would not forgive him for this intrusion, or his stupidity.
Chapter 13
A MAN NANNA HAD NEVER seen before was carrying her. Why or what for, she didn't care. Something was going on, but she couldn't be bothered paying attention. All she wanted was to be back in the water, away from all this light and sound, and whatever else was jarring through her.
She wanted to ask this man to put her down, but she had used up all her strength. Hel was unhappy, though, and that was something. Still, her mind refused to fully grasp what had happened. Hel deserved unhappiness.
The other man she knew, but her mind didn’t think about him either. Balder. It came to her whether she wanted it to or not.
They were trying to get her shoes off, using some dagger to cut the leather. It hurt her mind to pay attention to what they did, so she didn't, instead looked at the calm of the lake a bit further away.
But before long, they were carrying her again—away. Nanna closed her eyes and pretended to be elsewhere. It hurt too much to think.
They placed her on a horse and with arms around her they rode. The smooth steps of the horse monotonous and soothing. They were not in a hurry. There was no one chasing them.
She slept, the steps of the horse soothing her mind and her body. Her tiredness was so deep it felt as though her flesh would fall off her bones.
Balder and the man spoke to each other and they eventually stopped riding. Impossible to tell how long it had been. Time wasn't a consistent measure for her. In the moment, it felt like an eternity, but when eternities stretched together; it was difficult to order and sequence them.
There was darkness and there was fire. Mercifully, she could lay down and a blanket was placed on her. The men chatted around her, scents stole into her nose, sharp and crisp. She couldn't escape them.
Finally a bowl was placed down in front of her. "You should eat," Balder said. Nanna didn't bother opening her eyes, and she couldn't be bothered eating. It seemed an insurmountable task. Besides, she couldn't discern hunger inside her from all the other malaise she felt. All she wanted was to go back in the water and forget. "You are alive now. You must eat," he continued.
Alive. What did that mean? She felt no different. Although she did feel the absence of the shoes that had been on her feet for much longer than she could recount. Her feet felt raw, the blanket heavy on them.
And then there was nothing but the crackling of the fire slowly dying to darkness. Could the dark take her with it? Away from all this?
Even in sleep, she had no peace. Her mind was exerting itself, building pictures, even if she couldn't make sense of them.
"It will all be fine, Nanna." The words stole into her head and she was being lifted and put back on the horse. They rode again. This time, she opened her eyes, seeing a desolate, dark land around her. Large groves ran through the ground alongside the road. It was just her, these men
and their horses. Nothing else existed. Except stars in the distance. Millions and millions of stars.
Nanna watched the stars, thinking she was one of them, but they disappeared in the end, replaced by darkness that shone like liquid onyx, shifting with currents. She recognized its ebbs and flows. It was water. The deepest part of the ocean where there was no light.
"It is the Midgard ocean," Balder said. Nanna tried to place the concepts, but they slipped from her mind. "We live in Midgard now, and so will you."
Something dark and clawing rose inside her, but she didn’t want to identify it. It had to do with him. She didn’t want to be in his arms, but also she did. Balder was stealing her away—yet again. It was too confusing to think about, and she was too exhausted to try.
Live, she thought. That too seemed like an impossible task.
They slept again. This time under the dark beauty that was the ocean. She watched it shift and change above her as the men slept. She was to live again. She didn't want to, but Balder was taking her away from the water she had dwelled in. No, Hel had dragged her out of the water, because Balder had been coming for her. And now he was taking her to Midgard. It had been home so very long ago—a time she had forgotten about. Her father, her mother. They were long gone. Or maybe time hadn't existed and they were still there?
Suddenly, she wanted to ask, but the men were asleep.
"Now you must eat." The words broke into her sleep. A spoon was being held to her lips and warm broth poured into her mouth. Her stomach revolted, but she swallowed, because doing anything else seemed too much effort. More spoonfuls. She wanted to object, but it would mean waking fully, and she’d rather not. She didn’t want to be there.
They rode and rode, but there was more light now. The darkness of the land had given to lightness. The sun, she finally realized. It warmed her, almost as though it was melting frost from her skin.
They stopped by a tattered rainbow. The bridge was torn. She knew this place. At one time, she had crossed this. Balder had taken her, but now the bridge was torn. Something wasn't right. The rainbow was destroyed. Forseti. The name echoed into her mind. The name was important, the man was important. Her son. The bridge spelled bad things. Her heart bled and tears formed in her eyes. This was what she’d wanted to avoid, this pain, this knowledge. There was nothing she could do to change what had happened.
"Now we dive," Balder said and the horse jumped into a river. Tumultuous water pushed and pulled every part of her. Coldness surrounded her only momentarily and water sang in her ears until the horses dragged them out again. Bright green accosted her everywhere. The sun was stronger, shining in a blue sky. Midgard. The sight was both familiar and foreign. "It is a warm day. Nice with some warmth after the cold of Helheim."
Around her were sights from so long ago in her memory, she couldn’t reconcile. The sun thawed her tears and they flowed silently down her cheeks. She was home, but Forseti was gone.
Lush pastures reached all around them. Wind formed undulating waves across the grass. It was as if her memories had come to life. This place of her childhood and youth. She had been so happy then. What was happiness? She couldn't understand the concept.
"Welcome home," Balder said. Home; she repeated it in her mind. Images of her father's hall grudgingly emerged from the depths of her memories. People milling, drinking and eating. Her father had been the king. Her memory wasn't giving her more. But this was where she was from. The happiness of seeing it couldn’t compete with the sadness she felt. Why had he brought her here? It was cruel.
"Welcome to my hall," the other man said. Nanna didn’t want to open her eyes; she wanted to pretend she was back in the water where she didn’t feel anything.
There were people—happy, celebrating and talking. She was carried from the horse to a seat, finally away from the arms that had held her.
"Hi, I'm Lily," a woman said, her voice light and sweet. Nanna couldn't place this woman in her memory. "Welcome. We are so glad you are here. Vali and Balder planned how to get you out, and we're so glad their quest was successful. Welcome. I hope you will be happy here."
With tired eyes, Nanna regarded the woman. Young and human. Her face was so bright—as if there was nothing bad in the world to worry about. Such innocence. That had been her once upon a time, human and loved by her parents. The world had been an exciting place, she remembered. How had things gone so very wrong?
Chapter 14
BALDER PACED IN THE great hall while Vali was out tending something. The sun shone outside and Balder finally felt as though a weight had come off his chest. They had been successful in rescuing Nanna, although she wasn't in great shape.
Lily appeared and he knew she had been tending her in the bedchamber that had been given to her.
"How is she?" he asked as Lily approached the table. "She did not speak to me during the entire ride from Helheim. Has she spoken?"
"No," Lily said. "She sits by the window, but doesn't speak."
Finding her in such a state wasn't something he had anticipated. He'd had no idea she had become so… faded. She was a world away from the woman he had known. Under Hel's enchantments he'd been unable to see her, and he wanted Nanna to know that. He would never simply have let her fade like this if he had been able to, and it didn't matter what Hel said about it. He loved Nanna, and always had.
It destroyed him to see her like this, but he also knew that this wasn't something that could just be wiped away and shook off. Nanna needed to recover. There was a chance she never would. Her mind could be utterly broken.
Discomfort speared through him at the thought. Nanna had been the one who had paid for Hel's interference and ambitions. Was that what she had wanted? What had Hel's intentions been—to humiliate him and destroy the things he held dear?
How could he simply not have seen her? Where had she been? He wanted to barge into her chamber and ask her, to tell her that none of this had been his intent. It wasn't indifference on his part that had seen her ignored and overlooked.
"She is better than she was," Lily finally said. "More alert, but she still seems lost in her own mind."
"I want to see her."
Lily smiled, but Balder couldn't tell what her thoughts were underneath. "Perhaps give a bit more time. It seems she is unused to being in her body."
That was a curious statement. What had happened to her? "I will go see her," Balder determined. "Later in the day. Is she eating?"
"Yes, she ate breakfast."
Absently, he nodded. It was clear that Nanna's introduction to this new world was very different from his own. If there was anything he could do to ease her, he would.
It occupied his mind when he walked outside. He’d never wanted Nanna to suffer. She was a sweet woman, who deserved better than what she'd gotten.
Walking into the field, he gathered some flowers, knowing she liked them. Perhaps the scent would urge her to be more present, and to come back into herself.
They were free. It was time to celebrate—time for a new start. This simple life in Midgard suited them well enough. Obviously, they could not stay in Vali's hall forever. He would have to build them one, but there was enough space to do so. Midgard was largely deserted, but it would recover. This was where they would build the new future, create new stories.
Bringing a bouquet back to the hall, he walked to Nanna's room and knocked on the door. Disappointingly, there was no answer. Perhaps it had been too much to expect that Nanna would rush into his arms and thank him profusely for rescuing her.
With care, he opened the door and saw her sitting by the window just as Lily had described. He cleared his throat. "I brought you some flowers," he said as he quietly moved closer. "I know you love them."
She didn't seem to acknowledge him directly, but he felt she knew he was there.
"I didn't think to bring a vase. I will ask Lily if she has one when I leave."
Placing the flowers in her lap, he sat down and looked at her. Her cheeks were rosy an
d her lips full. Her long blond hair had been washed and brushed out. She had always been so beautiful. It was the reason he had fallen in love with her.
"I need you to know it was never my intention to hurt you. I had little control over how I acted." He wasn't sure how much of it she had seen, because he simply couldn't remember her being there, but that had been the enchantment. "Hel made it so I couldn't keep you in my mind. Whenever I thought of you, you simply fleeted away. Her jealousy could not withstand another woman being in my heart."
Only her change in breathing told him that she heard. But she didn't look at him.
"I am so sorry you were dismissed. It was not my doing. I spent an eternity in the bed of a woman I despise, and you spent an eternity having to watch it. It is the level of cruelty and depravity of that woman. But we are free now."
Carefully, he reached for her hand. She was warm and soft. She didn't pull out of his reach and let him hold her hand. A sigh escaped her lips and he felt heartened hearing it. She was here with him. They were together in this new place.
"It is a lovely village. I will show you around when you are ready to leave your chamber. This is a nice place for us. The sun and the nature. It is a good place for us to rebuild our lives. Lily and Vali seem very happy here, and you were born not far from here."
There wasn't anything left. He'd gone to look. The fires of Ragnarok had burned everything that was. The only structures that existed were those the humans had built after, before being ravaged by the Draugr.
"I shall build us a hall. A glorious one. Big enough to rival anything in Asgard." Would it weigh on her to learn that Asgard was completely destroyed? Maybe—it was hard to tell. She had lived there much longer than she had in Midgard, but this was where she was from.
Speaking of, eventually they needed to find Idunn's apples to keep them young, or old age would decrepit their bodies. It was something he needed to discuss with Vali. It was essential to find those apples, or where they grew. Nanna would need them; Lily would need them sooner. It was a thing outstanding to their continued happiness here, but they had some time before any of their bodies needed to be restored.
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