by Quinn, Taryn
“So, if I may be so bold, along with walking little fellas like this guy,” Bess smiled down at Latte, who was trotting along beside me, “what else do you do to keep yourself busy?”
“Do you mean like hobbies?”
“Sure. Work, hobbies, the whole shebang.”
“Well, actually, my main hobby is my work. I bake and cook. I work on weekends at the coffee shop up the street. Have you been there?”
“Brewed Awakening? Absolutely. I stop in for a cuppa every time I take out my Lily here. That Macy who runs the place, she’s a pip.”
“She sure is.”
“Surely a young lady like yourself does more than just walk sweet little dogs and serve coffee a couple of days a week. Oh!” She paused and slapped a hand to her chest as if she was surprised. “You must have a boyfriend, pretty girl like you. Or maybe a husband? Though really, if you haven’t taken the plunge yet, take it from someone who knows—you have a lifetime for marriage, so make sure you have your fun first.”
It felt as if she was fishing for something, but I couldn’t tell what. Maybe I was just so out of practice at making new friends that I didn’t know what counted as normal getting-to-know-you conversation anymore.
“Nope, no husband. No boyfriend either. I keep busy with my jobs. I also have a food delivery service for a few families in my neighborhood. You know, I prepare meals for busy working moms and dads and they pay me.”
“Well?”
“Excuse me?”
“Do they pay you well? Because I know of a job where you could make good money. No, make that great money. Assuming your references check out.”
I frowned. Ah-ha. No wonder my spidey senses had been activated. “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in any of those MLM-type businesses. Aren’t they basically just fancy pyramid—”
Bess barked out a laugh. “No pyramid schemes here. Not even close. This job is on the up and up, I swear. As if Snug would let me break even one law. He’s a fuddy-duddy.”
“Snug is your grandson?” I tugged on Latte’s leash to get him to move past a questionable food wrapper on the snowy grass. There wasn’t much litter in a pristine town like Crescent Cove, but every now and then, something snuck through.
“Sure is.”
“Is he a lawyer or something?”
“God, no, bite your tongue. I wouldn’t allow one of my relatives to enter that vile profession.”
Okay, then.
“Why, it’s almost as bad as being a car salesman. No, he runs the newspaper in Syracuse, among other things.”
“Oh.”
“But see, he’s on his own with this sweetheart here,” she gave the stroller a light rattle, “and he practically refuses to ask for help. He claims every person he interviews isn’t right for the job. So, I figured I’d look around for someone myself.”
“Wait, you need a babysitter for Lily?” I could do that. I supposed. I’d had enough experience helping to take care of my sisters when they were little.
I wasn’t terribly excited about being thrust into a caretaker role again, I had to admit. Dog-sitting was one thing. Tiny humans—no matter how snuggly and cute—were quite another. I didn’t want a traditional office or desk job, but I also didn’t want to have to be responsible for anyone else right now.
Taking care of my sisters after my parents’ deaths had been a lot to handle. I loved them and wanted the best for them, so I’d done it despite my many misgivings. I hadn’t been ready to be a parent at that age. Or hell, this age. I’d barely lived myself. And yes, being a nanny was different, since I could return Lily at the end of the day, but I’d still be in the role of nursemaid.
However, Bess had mentioned great compensation, and she certainly didn’t seem to have money issues from her attire. Assuming her grandson was the same, and if he ran the newspaper, he probably wasn’t struggling financially, right? This job could push me along the path to financial independence that much faster.
Lily let out a gurgling laugh as Latte veered close to the stroller and stuck his furry face inside, tongue flicking everywhere.
Then there was adorable Lily herself, with her sweet giggles and her eager expression. God, she was so tiny. Would I be able to manage taking care of her?
“Not a babysitter per se. My grandson works a lot of hours. He needs a lot more help than just the occasional shift here or there.” Bess pushed her sunglasses on top of her head and rolled her dark, perfectly made-up eyes. “Even if he doesn’t know it yet.”
This was sounding more complicated by the minute.
“I’ve never taken care of a newborn.”
“Why, she’s not a newborn. She’s eight whole months now, aren’t you, dandelion?” Bess reached down to tug on Lily’s wiggling purple-socked feet. More purple. “She’s not a fussy one either. Snug got damn lucky. She’s basically an angel. Other than her diaper situation.” She winked at me and I let out a weak laugh, lurching forward as Latte decided to chase a butterfly.
And I really thought I was capable of taking care of a baby? This dog was a handful.
“Are you an only child?” Bess asked before I had a chance to say anything.
If I even had a reply.
I was starting to feel like a mute, my few words retreating into the lockbox in my head. Bess was the kind of forceful person who made me reel back and evaluate. I knew how to stand my ground, but at first, I seemed like a pushover.
Wrong.
“No,” I said after a moment. “I have two younger sisters. Twins.”
Bess’s eyes gleamed. “How much younger?”
“They’re nineteen and away at college. Bess, I’m really not certain I—”
“Do you have a criminal past?”
“Huh? Of course not.”
“Are you apt to ignore a crawling baby? Because this one is starting to scoot around pretty good.”
Latte stopped dead on the sidewalk a few feet ahead of me and I came to a halt right behind him.
“Nope, you’re paying attention. So, I have no fear you’d let my great-granddaughter get into mischief.”
“Um, thanks. But I still don’t know if I want the job. I didn’t even interview for it.”
“What do you think this is?” she demanded, making me blink.
“You aren’t the one responsible for hiring for the position, are you?”
“Not officially, but if Snug can’t get things done, then someone else has to. He’ll drag his feet on this until Lily’s in college if I let him.”
“Isn’t she his baby? That’s up for him to decide, I’d say.”
Bess stopped pushing the stroller and cocked her hip, her gaze penetrating mine. For a second, I was sure I’d finally driven her back with the pointy tip of my verbal sword.
“You’ve got fire. I like you. A lot. What are your salary requirements? We’ll meet them.”
So much for driving her back. Looked like I’d need a cavalry for that.
“I don’t have salary requirements. I’m just walking this dog. Latte,” I called out in exasperation as he headed for a small family coming toward us on the walkway, their young son in front. Then he leaped in the air just high enough to snag the string of the kid’s balloon.
The kid was not amused. He started to bawl.
“Hang on just a second. I’ll get your balloon back for you. Latte, come here.” I wrangled the dog into submission, gently prying his mouth open until I could fish out the balloon’s string.
While I performed this operation, Lily banged her hands on the stroller behind us. Bess murmured soothing words, yet Lily would not be deterred. Soon, she started to cry too, just like the kid.
Yay.
She quieted the moment I freed the balloon from between Latte’s teeth. Then she stuck out her hand and made a distressed sound that any woman could recognize—although we usually made that noise at the sight of hot shoes, not balloons, but same difference.
“Oh, dear,” Bess murmured while Lily wailed as I handed off t
he balloon to the kid. Who pushed it back at me with disgust, ignoring his parents’ admonishments, due to the “dog slobber” all over the string.
What a lovely child. No wonder I didn’t want to be anyone’s nanny.
Spotting a temporary food vendor a few feet away near the gazebo, I offered the kid my brightest smile. “How about I buy you a hot dog to make up for what happened?”
The kid grinned, his tears drying in a flash. Dad wasn’t as impressed as he gripped his son’s shoulder. “Stafford doesn’t eat processed meats.”
“How about a comic at the store?” Bess leaned in and gave Stafford a conspiratorial smile. “I’ll trade you the balloon for a comic, how’s that?”
Warily, the kid nodded, side-eyeing his father.
“He’s just fine. I’ll get you another balloon.” The father was about to pitch it in the nearest garbage can when I plucked it out of his hand and passed it to Lily.
Who beamed brighter than the sun.
Once Stafford and his stern-faced parents continued on, Bess flashed me a huge smile and nudged the stroller forward. Lily was quiet and content, bobbing the balloon. Any minute now, she’d shove the string in her mouth. “You’ve got a way about you, Hannah. What’s your last name, by the way?”
I was worn out enough by the last few minutes that I couldn’t do anything other than smile weakly. I needed to get a bottle of water or something. The relentless sunshine was actually making me feel dizzy. “Jacobs.”
“Are you all right, sweetheart?” She gripped my arm and towed me up the street. “Let’s get us some fro-yo. You look like you need some sugar.”
Maybe I did. I wasn’t sure what I needed right now.
“Just say you’ll think about the job,” she added as the silence stretched between us. “Sleep on it tonight, then we’ll talk tomorrow. How’s that?”
Saying anything other than no to her felt like a dangerous proposition, but I was weakening because of the revolving yogurt sign in the window of the shop just ahead of us. Right now, I’d say anything to put a pause on this conversation for a little while. “Yes, tomorrow.”
Six
“You did what now?”
“I pre-screened a nanny for you. There is no reason for you to even interview her. My instincts say she’s right on the money, and she has tons of work references.”
I pressed a fingertip to the muscle jumping in my temple. One of these days, I’d just name it after my grandmother and be done with it. “Tons of nanny references?”
My grandmother suddenly got busy straightening the magazines fanned out on her coffee table. “Tons of work references,” she repeated.
To give myself a moment, I walked down the hall to my grandmother’s homey blue-and-yellow kitchen to pour myself a glass of orange juice. That I didn’t add a shot of vodka was a miracle.
I’d taken a rare Saturday off to hopefully relax and spend time with Lily and my grandmother. I needed desperately to unwind after the endless meetings I’d endured all week.
All month.
All year, it seemed like.
Trying to fill in for the salesman who had split with our client list was a full-time job in itself, never mind doing my own job and dealing with dwindling circulation numbers and all the rest of the fires that needed handling on a daily basis.
To say I was fried was an understatement.
Now my grandmother was pulling the rug out from under me and hitting me in the head with it.
When I was reasonably certain I wouldn’t snap at her, I returned to the living room. She was now dusting the mantel. The mantel she hadn’t dusted in my presence in years.
Who was this woman she’d invited to her home?
“Look, I know you mean well,” I began, sitting in the navy blue armchair that had once been my grandfather’s.
“That trip is happening soon, Snug. I’m not leaving you on your own with an infant. If that’s the case, I’ll just cancel my trip.”
Oh, she was pulling out the big guns now. She knew I would never allow that to stand.
“You can’t.”
“I surely can. You’re overworked as it is. Do you think I can’t see the lines under your eyes? How long has it been since you’ve slept well? Never mind had an active dating life.”
“What does one have to do with the other?” I knew damn well where she was going with this, and if I’d been smart, I would’ve bitten my tongue.
“Have you ever heard of stress relief? A man has needs. God knows women do too, and you notice how much sunnier my personality is than yours? You’re blocked up.”
Yep. There we go. Back on that track again.
I drank my juice and said nothing. That she wasn’t wrong was irrelevant.
Discussing my sex life—or lack thereof—with my grandmother was a non-starter. I had bigger problems. To be honest, it wasn’t as if my libido was even making itself known lately. I’d been working so much that I was usually exhausted when I finally got home to tend to Lily.
Most of the time, I barely remembered I still had a dick. It just wasn’t a factor in my life.
“Or friends. What about them? You used to have Billy to go out and blow off steam with. Do you even have any other male friends?”
I raked a hand through my hair. “Jesus, he’s been gone four months. Sorry if I didn’t immediately go out and find a new best friend.”
“Forget a new best friend. Any friends. It’s just like dating. You don’t need to put a ring on a woman’s finger to have some fun. Isn’t there anyone you can call up to go shoot some pool?” She pointed at me with her neon purple duster on a stick. “You need a few laughs. Maybe even to get good and soused.”
“Right. And who’s going to take care of—” She started to smile, widely, and it was my turn to point. “Do not go there. I have not met this woman yet.”
“Are you saying I’m not capable of hiring a competent nanny? There’s no one on this planet who loves that baby girl more than me and you know it.”
Regret tightened my chest. She was right. I was ashamed it was the truth, but there was no denying that it was.
Of course I cared about Lily. I’d been fond of her even before she had been put into my care. I had started off as her godfather after all, and Billy and I had been close since our college days at Syracuse University.
But that was different than being her father. I would give my life to protect her—and would certainly use all my resources to make sure she had everything she ever needed—but I hadn’t grown to feel the way a father should.
It bothered me a fucking lot too. She deserved that love.
Unfortunately, I just didn’t have it in me quite yet, although I kept hoping one day it would just appear, like flowers in the yard after a hard, cold winter. It would’ve been growing underneath all the time, seemingly dormant. And then one day, it would be just…be there.
I hoped.
“No, I’m just saying it’s my job. I need to make sure I find the right person. Don’t you see the horror stories in the news? If I pick the wrong person and something goes wrong—”
“You’d never forgive yourself. But you’re only one person. No matter how thin you spread yourself.”
The doorbell rang and I gripped my now empty glass, amazed it didn’t shatter from the pressure. My displeasure must have registered on my face because my grandmother let out a sigh. “Just give her a chance, all right? That’s all I’m asking. If it makes any difference, she didn’t want this job. I had to talk her into it.”
“Excuse me? You just hired someone off the street?”
“I went with gut instinct. You should try it sometime. Hannah’s the one, I’m sure of it.” Her confidence might’ve bolstered me if the name Hannah hadn’t streaked through me like lightning.
It couldn’t be.
Hannah was a common name, wasn’t it? Especially for those in her age group.
Her probably too-young-for-me age group. I wasn’t going to turn into one of those guys who
tried to reclaim their lost youth by chasing younger women.
But I hadn’t cared about her age that night. She’d pulled me to her in a way I hadn’t been pulled since…well, ever. I had never reacted to another woman as strongly as I had to Hannah.
It was just wishful thinking hoping she’d shown up here. Seriously, what were the odds?
Besides, it wasn’t as if I wanted to see her again. We’d made an agreement. I didn’t have time in my life for anything or anyone else, regrettably not even her.
Not that she’d given me any indication she was looking for more than one night either. We had both understood the score.
Then afterward, she’d tried to duck out on me as if we’d shared absolutely nothing. If I hadn’t awakened when I had, she would’ve been gone without a word.
For the best, I reminded myself as my grandmother finally stopped staring at me and went to open the door.
I could only imagine what she’d read on my face. Normally, I was good at keeping my expression blank. That was a valuable asset in business.
But not when it came to my grandmother. And evidently, not when it came to Hannah.
Any Hannah. If this woman wasn’t my Hannah, she definitely wasn’t getting the job. There was no way I could say that name every fucking day and not remember how Hannah’s long, gorgeous hair had spilled out around her in front of the fire, and the sound of her moans as she neared orgasm. The way we’d laughed together under the covers before our hands had started wandering all over again.
I remembered far too much.
The low hum of voices in the foyer cut off abruptly. “Bess, I can’t do this.”
Fucking hell. I sat up straighter in my chair and stared at my glass unseeingly. Within the span of four words, I knew.
It was her.
“Just come in and meet my grandson.”
I locked my jaw and moved my glass to the side table.
Oh, she already has. Don’t worry about that.
“I don’t think that’s the best idea. Really, I shouldn’t have even come.”
I walked into the front hall to join them. “You’re right about that, because you don’t want this job, and I don’t want to hire you.”