by Aria Norton
“I see that you are far too concerned about what I do, dear brother,” she returned, smiling sweetly.
He narrowed his eyes at her, his jaw working. Did he think that I would let him get away with his words? He should know me better than that.
“Age has not mellowed you, nor have you become wiser. A pity.”
“I’m afraid I have not had good examples to follow,” she retorted.
“Do you mean to tell me that your beloved servants have not taught you any manners?”
Throwing this book at his head would not give me the satisfaction I want. Once again, he was mocking the relationship she shared with the servants, but unfortunately for him, she would not let the issue go so easily.
“Why would a bunch of supposedly unworthy people teach me something that my own family should have taught me? The fact that my own father and brothers did not bestow any wisdom on me is evidence of their own lack. Therefore, the fault of my behaviour lies solely with you.”
“With me?” he spluttered, face growing red. “How dare you seek to lay the blame on me for your deplorable behaviour?! I am not the one who has single-handedly ostracised myself from the civilised world. Thank goodness, my reputation was well-established before you began to ruin yours, or I might not have been accepted by our own kind. ’Tis no wonder you can only get along with the help.”
Aurora wasn’t hurt by her brother’s words. This is nothing that I haven’t heard before from my other brothers. The only one who has yet to attempt to take my ear off with his scolding is Charles. Her youngest brother was six years older than her, but he might have been older for all the good it did her. Charles was more so indifferent towards her, not caring about what she chose to do with her life. Oddly, no one has pressured him to be married, but a week does not pass without some talk of getting me betrothed.
“The ‘help’, as you put it, are far more civilised than you are. At least they understand the honour in keeping relationships with no expectation of receiving anything in return. The society that you are so quick to praise is nothing but a cesspit of immoral, judgemental, adulterous, debauched, and selfish people who I would rather forget existed than acknowledge.”
Edward’s jaw dropped. “You, you, you ...”
Aurora smiled. “Has the cat finally caught your foolish tongue, dear brother?”
Without warning, the man leapt to his feet, taking two steps towards her. She had no notion of what he planned to do, but she was not without her own claws.
“Edward! Aurora! That is quite enough!” Hannah scolded from the doorway. “Why do you insist on quarrelling over the smallest of matters?”
Aurora regarded her sister-in-law, smiling innocently at her. The woman narrowed her eyes, evidently not believing her innocence.
“Perhaps you can talk some sense into her, for I cannot!” Edward shouted, still enraged. “She is beyond help! What did we ever do to deserve such an uncouth sister?”
“What did I do to deserve such a bunch of nitwits for brothers?” she returned.
Her brother’s face turned a splotchy red, a vein pulsing at his temple. “Why you ignorant little–”
“Edward,” came his wife’s sweet but stern voice. “You cannot speak to your sister in such a manner.”
Aurora was about to smile in triumph, but Hannah wasn’t done yet.
“And you should not disrespect your brother. What kind of a family goes for each other’s throat at the slightest provocation?”
“A dysfunctional family?” she suggested.
“Do you see?” said Edward.
“Both of you, calm down! Goodness, me. You would think that I was separating two children rather than a grown man and woman. Edward, you should know better as you are older.”
“But Hannah–”
“But nothing, dear. Perhaps a drink of Father’s brandy will do you some good at this moment.”
It always amazed Aurora that such a sweet, meek, and mild woman could exert some influence on her hot-headed husband.
Edward huffed but nodded. “Very well, dear. Speak some sense into her while I am gone.”
Tempted to stick her tongue out at her brother, Aurora returned to her book instead. If I goad him on any further, I might annoy him past the point of common sense.
“Do not act the innocent, Aurora,” Hannah chided. “Why did you incense your brother so much?”
Lifting her eyes, she shrugged with one shoulder. “I wouldn’t need to say a word if he learnt to hold his foolish notions to himself.”
Her sister-in-law sighed. “You and Edward are so alike in temperament. I should have never left you both in the room alone.”
“Father should have never called him in the first place. You, I can still stomach, but my brother? Unfortunately, he is attached to you like a babe at the hip.”
“Aurora! Do not speak about your brother like so. Have you no affection for him at all?”
Had Hannah said that in jest? She peered closely at the woman, surprised to see that she was serious.
“How can I feel affection for someone who ignored me for much of my life? I was not aware that he and my other brothers were my siblings until I turned five. Then I wondered what I could have done to make them detest me so strongly. Edward was the one to reveal that I killed our mother. Is that anything to say to a child?”
“Oh dear,” said Hannah, coming to sit beside her. “I fear that your bitterness runs so deep that you will never reunite with your brothers.”
“Perhaps if they apologised first and turned from their ways, I might feel more charitable towards them. However, let us not speak about them any longer – it depresses me. I am glad that you are here.”
Hannah was the only sister-in-law that Aurora got along with. Besides having Edward in common, they had both lost their mothers at a young age. However, the older woman had had a loving father and aunties to take care of her, a situation completely different from her own, but the loss of a mother was still felt deeply by them both.
“I am happy to be here. I have rarely seen you for some months now, but I hear you have been a busy soul.”
“If you mean that you have heard of my subjection to dealing with foolish suitors, then you heard correctly. I can only imagine what Edward must have told you.”
“Nothing particularly positive,” the woman admitted. “But there are always two sides to a story, yes?”
How could a woman with such wisdom have married her brother? It was beyond her. Edward did not even hold a title, while Hannah was the daughter of a viscount. She could have married better, but she chose to marry Edward. I will never understand it.
“Well, it is no secret that I do not wish to marry.”
“Unfortunately, a woman does not have much say in this patriarchal world. The only way to secure and protect yourself is to get married.”
Aurora pulled her face. “That sounds rather contradictory to me.”
“That is because you do not understand much beyond these four walls. You have led a sheltered life far from the rest, and those who have come here leave with a bitter taste on their tongues once they have met you. I do not just mean the suitors you have driven away, but the women who have come here to befriend you.”
“Is that what you call what they were trying to do? Dear me, and here I thought they came intending to belittle me! Is that friendship? Making one feel inadequate?”
Hannah frowned. “I am certain that is not what they meant to do.”
“And yet they did it. What point do you wish to communicate? Do you believe me wrong for wishing to keep my life as it is? Do you think that I should put more effort into being liked by the very same people who would rather mock me than befriend me? Besides, I cannot have anything to do with people who treat servants as lesser beings. As far as I know, when we are cut, our blood runs as red as theirs.”
Hannah remained silent for a moment, her fair head bowed. It seemed as though she were praying, but Aurora knew she was probably searching for the right words to
say. The older woman didn’t like speaking poorly of anyone, preferring to help than to demean. I appreciate that about her, but it appears that every time I see her, she has become more like Edward in her thinking. The Hannah I met a year ago was far more sympathetic than today.
“What do you wish to do with your life?” her sister-in-law asked, lifting her head.
“To remain as I am. I am perfectly happy in this world and have no need for anything that society believes I should want or have. You are well aware that I grew up largely ostracised from everyone, having only the servants to raise me and keep me company. This is the world I know. I know how to cook, sew, plant, take care of animals, go foraging in the forest, and play with people of a lower class. Yes, I do know the social etiquette of the times, how to host a party, play the pianoforte and everything else expected of me, but it has done nought for my life. I would be much happier if my father gave me my own piece of land where I may have a cottage, garden, and a few animals.”
Hannah rubbed her brow, her face averted. What is wrong with her today? She is acting a bit strangely.
“Do you have a headache?”
The woman shook her head. “No, why do you ask?”
“You seem ... bothered, for lack of a better word. Usually, you are far more jovial. I am not accustomed to this side of you.”
“Perhaps I am growing up,” she offered. “We cannot remain as we are throughout our lives. At some point, we have to acknowledge that we cannot have our way.”
“What do you mean to say?”
“That ’tis better if you find a good man and settle down. Perhaps in a year or two, you will come to recognise the folly of your thinking.”
Aurora moved a little away from her sister-in-law, turning her body to better look at her.
“What is the meaning of all this talk?”
“I only ask that you listen to reason, Aurora. I know of several men who would make wonderful husbands. In fact, I can arrange for you to meet them at your earliest convenience. Magnus is closest to your age, and he rather likes a woman with a fiery spirit–”
Aurora held her hand up. “Please, go no further.”
She stood up, torn between leaving the room and not wanting to appear rude. She still liked Hannah despite her sudden changed behaviour. She has never forced me to consider potential suitors or pestered me about marriage. Could this have something to do with Father and my brothers? It seemed likely.
“Do not be angry with me, please,” Hannah pleaded. “I only wish what is best for you.”
“Is this you speaking, or is this the work of my father and brothers? Speak the truth; do not attempt to lie to me.”
Hannah hung her head. “I only agreed to speak to you about this subject because I hate that they mock you. They do not know you as I do, and yet they say all manner of things against you.” She looked up, tears in her eyes. “The other day, I had to sit through an hour of hearing women tell me how unfortunate I am to have a sister-in-law like you. I defended you, but it fell on deaf ears. Do you know that they consider you mildly insane? They asked me if you had ever been dropped on your head as a baby! I was so shocked by their vile accusations that I left before the appropriate time. Of course, you know what Edward says about you, but he has since stopped badmouthing you after I threatened to return to my father. However, I cannot control every conversation I come across, but you can change. If you would just listen, all of this would disappear.”
The woman was genuinely distressed, her light blue eyes watery and apologetic. Aurora now understood why she had insisted on speaking about marriage, but that did not make her change her mind. I am made of sterner matter.
“Do you think that I do not know what they often say about me? To a certain degree, I have earned the reputation of a madwoman, but much of their comments are unjust and unfounded. But when has that stopped our society from speaking as they please?”
“Then listen to me and simply get married. It will resolve many problems for you.”
“Since when does marriage resolve problems? From my understanding, it only adds problems.”
“Not every marriage is alike, Aurora. At least you have the benefit of choosing your suitor. I doubt your father would ever force you to marry someone against your will.”
Aurora laughed. “I would like to see him try such a thing! I will kick up a raucous unlike never seen before.”
Her sister-in-law sighed, shaking her head. “Oh, Aurora. When will you listen to reason?”
“I could say the same thing to you. Nothing that anyone says concerning marriage and this foolish patriarchal society will make me change my mind. ’Tis a simple thing to apprehend.”
To Aurora’s horror, her voice cracked at the end, revealing more than she wished. It was easy to pretend the words of others didn’t affect her at all, or that the constant fighting against the grain didn’t tire her out at times. However, the truth was that it did affect her, particularly when she was feeling vulnerable.
Being a young woman with a voice was no easy thing to uphold, especially when much of the world was against her. Life had been better when it had been just her and the servants, when her only worry had been about getting caught by Nanny or Millie after a prank. Did Father suddenly wake up one day and realise he had a daughter? Does he have any notion of the trouble he has caused me? People wish to point the finger at me, but they would not lay the blame at my feet alone if they understood my situation. But would they understand? It appeared that men and women were brainwashed into believing lies painted as the truth. A goat in sheep’s clothing remains a goat.
Hannah came to stand beside her, holding her about the waist. “You silly woman. Why must you be so stubborn? I can see that these things affect you. ’Tis not a bad thing to be weak at times, or to show it.”
“When you have walked a mile in my shoes, you would understand why it is imperative I remain unmovable in the face of opposition. Suppose I was to relent and be married?”
“You might be happy.”
“No! How can I be happy? No one will accept me as I am; they will expect me to conform. I will become a miserable creature.”
Hannah took her hand. “Come, sit with me and tell me what you consider a good husband. Perhaps I will know of a man to fit your requirements.”
Aurora was hesitant. Should she? Wouldn’t it be good to have someone else know what burns in my heart? Nanny always says that offloading one’s heart is a worthy exercise. She would have kept her thoughts to herself under any other circumstance, but she was feeling rather down in spirit. Allowing herself to be led to the couch, Aurora thought of the words to say.
“Divulge the secrets of your heart,” Hannah playfully teased. “You will feel much better.”
“Very well. You said you wished to know the type of man who I would wish as my husband?”
“Very much so.”
Aurora couldn’t believe she was doing this. “First and foremost, he has to love me enough not to place restrictions on me. I must have my space, and if I decide that children are not what I want, he must accept that. These are my only requirements.”
Hannah tilted her head, smiling sadly. “That man sounds lovely if only he existed. Unfortunately, we must all settle for what we can have and not wish for what we cannot attain.”
I should have known it was not a good idea to tell her anything. Releasing herself from the older woman, she stood up.
“Perhaps other women must settle, but I promise you that I will never do so. I refuse to accept merely anything that comes my way just to please people who do not have my best interests at heart!”