Everything You Told Me

by Lucy Dawson

  ‘Oh, Kelly, please!’ I say. ‘Must you always say everything like you’re imagining yourself on screen? It’s not only melodramatic and insincere, it’s exceptionally annoying.’

  ‘OK then,’ she says simply. ‘I feel like I want to tell you how your nasty little stunt had your younger brother in tears at the weekend, and that you have no idea what this is going to cost you in the future. One day, Chloe and Theo will find out what you did on Friday night, and about the “overdose” –’ she makes air quotes with her fingers – ‘you took when you were nineteen, and because of what you’ve done, they will never, ever be the same again. You’ll never be the same to them.’ Her voice begins to shake with energy. ‘You will never be a mum they can rely on completely.’

  I think suddenly about the ring, chain and small heart earrings tucked away at the back of her drawer, and the picture of the smiling little girl with the woman in the maxi dress.

  ‘Kelly, you seem to have some very strong – and intensely personal – feelings about all of this,’ I interrupt, ‘and I wonder if there’s some stuff going on with you that you might be transferring onto me?’

  ‘Just shut up,’ she says, much more quietly this time. ‘You don’t mean that concern for a second, and even if you did, you’re really arrogant enough to assume you have any of the answers when you don’t even know what the questions are? I worked out my “intensely personal” stuff a long time ago, with people far more skilled than you could ever hope to be, thanks very much.’

  She means Caroline? Is she finally about to bring up her relationship with my mother-in-law? I hold my breath, but she falls unnervingly quiet once more and just stares at me. I’m on the verge of filling the unbearable silence when she says suddenly, ‘You’re lying again, aren’t you? You don’t really think I’ve drugged you, any more than I believe you’re suicidal. You’re not even close to being in that place. You never have been. There’s more to this, something that – oh my God!’ Her mouth falls open suddenly. ‘You absolute bitch. Where have you hidden it?’

  ‘Where have I hidden what?’ I stare at her in confusion.

  ‘That’s why you’re here. You said you just needed proof, and you emailed a picture to yourself. What have you planted in my flat, to look like they’re mine?’ She turns and starts to pull the clothes from the drawer, rifling through it. ‘I’ll find it – and he won’t believe you, whatever you’ve done, and whatever you’ve faked. You won’t make him leave me. God, you nasty, nasty piece of work.’

  Then, just as suddenly, she swings around wildly. ‘You think you’re so clever, but it’s your word against mine, Sally. And you’re right, everyone already thinks you’ve lost your mind.’

  Confused, I watch her hit a button on her phone and hold it up to her ear. I hear a female voice answer, ‘Hello?’ and at the sound, Kelly resets her features into a face of panic, and, putting on a terrified voice, she says tremulously, ‘Hello, Sue?’

  My mouth falls open. She just called my mother?

  ‘It’s Kelly.’ She gulps, making it sound as if she’s in tears. ‘Sally’s here and Will’s on his way, but she’s angry and distressed, and I’m not sure what I should do. She’s very confused. Yes, I know. No, she isn’t. No, I haven’t. I didn’t want to, but I will if you think I should?’

  My heart stops as I realize what she’s doing. Oh no, no, no… ‘Kelly, stop!’ I say, frightened, and I step towards her. ‘Give me the phone!’

  ‘Don’t!’ she shrieks suddenly. ‘Don’t come near me, Sally!’

  ‘I haven’t touched you!’ I exclaim as she dodges past me, runs into the bathroom, and slams the door shut. I hear the bolt slide across, and I suddenly remember turning to Matthew when we were watching her thick chav character on TV mouthing off, before slapping her fictitious sister around the face, and remarking bitchily, ‘You know they all get cast as themselves, don’t you?’ Jesus Christ, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

  ‘I’ve locked myself in the bathroom,’ I hear her shout, as I rush down the hall after her and rattle the handle.

  ‘Kelly, please don’t do this to Mum, she’ll be really frightened!’

  ‘She’s trying to get in! What should I do? I don’t know what to do! I think I need to call the police!’

  ‘Kelly! I just want you to stop this!’ Panicked, I bang on the door again, which is how Will finds me as he bursts into the hallway, panting with the exertion of having run up the stairs.

  He quickly looks at the closed bathroom door, me standing right next to it, and gently reaches out a hand. ‘Sally? It’s OK. Everything is OK.’

  ‘You don’t need to talk like that,’ I say as calmly as I can. ‘I know how this looks, but it’s absolutely not what you think. Yes, Kelly’s in there.’ I point behind me. ‘But she’s perfectly safe.’

  ‘Will, is that you?’ Kelly calls from behind the door, sounding as if she’s weeping with fear.

  ‘Oh, come on, Kelly!’ I shout in frustration. ‘You know it’s him!’

  ‘Sally, can you try not to raise your voice? Could you go and stand by the front door, please?’

  I shake my head incredulously, but do as I’m told. If I fight this, he’s never going to believe me. Caroline warned me, she told me not to kick the hornets’ nest. Oh shit – she also asked me if I intended to hurt Kelly… I have to try to stay calm, because – I realize suddenly – this really does not look good. It was desperately stupid of me to come here. What was I thinking?

  I turn to see Will knock gently on the door. ‘Kel? It’s me. You can come out. Everything’s OK.’

  The bolt slides back, and she appears, her face red, with eyes puffy from crying. I watch her in amazement. How does she do that so convincingly? Then I notice she’s clutching a pair of nail scissors, like a tiny knife. Presumably to defend herself with? She’s unbelievable!

  She lets them clatter to the floor and falls into Will’s arms. ‘I was so scared,’ she sobs. ‘Just get her out of here. I can’t handle this, not today of all days. Please, Will!’

  ‘It’s OK, we’re going now. I’ll drive her home in her car and I’ll be back as soon as I can. Are you going to be all right?’ Will looks at her in concern.

  She nods, and then gulps. ‘She was going through our things. She’s insane!’

  ‘Shhh, shhh, it’s OK,’ he soothes. ‘Everything is going to be OK. I’ll be right back.’ He lets go of her gently and turns to me. ‘Come on, Sal.’ He tries to smile at me, but I see instantly it’s an effort, because he’s my brother, and I know him almost as well as I know myself. He believes her. He believes her one hundred per cent.

  I don’t say a thing, just glance back at her bleakly as he ushers me out of the door, but she refuses to meet my eye, simply turns – and without saying another word to me, walks into their bedroom and closes the door.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  ‘You didn’t need to do this, I could have just driven myself home.’

  ‘It’s fine,’ Will says. ‘I’d rather know for sure you get back safely.’

  ‘Kelly was in no danger whatsoever.’ I look at him staring at the road ahead. ‘I didn’t go there to hurt her – I called to check neither of you were at home, remember? You told me you were both out.’

  ‘That’s because I knew Kelly wouldn’t want to see you today. I said she was filming because it was easier than having to explain why you couldn’t go around. It’s the anniversary of her mother’s death – although that’s actually irrelevant. You shouldn’t have been in the flat full stop, Sal, and while I get that you did call me, you also told me you were going to a friend’s house, which was a complete lie.’

  ‘I’m sorry to hear about Kelly, and yes, you’re right,’ I say quietly. ‘I shouldn’t have done what I did. I know what you’re thinking. You’re worried that I’m ill. Mentally, if not physically. But I need you to trust me when I say that I’m neither, and like I just said, confronting Kelly wasn’t the reason I was in your flat.’

  He doesn’t
say anything for a moment, then, still without looking at me, asks, ‘I assume you were there looking for your missing sixty-five grand?’

  I raise my eyebrows in surprise. Had it not been for Kelly just phoning Mum and making out that I was attacking her, I would tell him the truth about what I was actually looking for – but there’s no way I can do that now. They’d have me sectioned again by the end of the day. ‘You know about the stolen money?’

  Will nods. ‘Kelly told me you accused her of taking it. She didn’t steal it, though, Sal. I see why you might have come to that conclusion, given that you know she swapped the ring for one a lot more valuable the day after the money disappeared, but that’s honestly just a horrible coincidence.’

  Hang on. He’s talking as if he almost understands why I was in their flat? And he’s certainly nowhere near as angry as I thought he’d be. Neither is he speaking to me as if he thinks I’m treading a very thin line between madness and sanity. My heart thuds. I might actually get away with this if I’m very, very careful.

  ‘You haven’t told anyone about Kelly exchanging the ring, have you?’ Will asks anxiously.

  ‘No, I promised you I wouldn’t, and I haven’t.’

  He looks relieved. ‘Thank you. The trouble is, she did pay for the ring upgrade in cash – which looks dodgy as hell, obviously, and although I know where the money came from, I know what your reaction – and most people’s reaction – would be, if I told you.’

  ‘Why don’t you try me?’ I say slowly.

  He takes a deep breath. ‘When Kelly’s dad died, she discovered he had all of this money they didn’t know about. They’d lived in this really modest three-bedroom place, which they kept after their dad died – Kelly’s brother had been living there with his girlfriend – but they all decided to sell it last year. When they were clearing out the loft they found half a million pounds in cash. It was stuffed in Sainsbury’s bags in a box.’ He looks across at me nervously.

  I pause. ‘You’re joking, obviously.’

  ‘No, I’m not. It’s true. They didn’t tell anyone, because of the tax implications. Kelly and her brother and sister just went on a really amazing holiday together and bought new cars, stuff for their houses, that kind of thing. Kelly’s still got quite a bit of her share left. Or at least she did until she bought the ring, and the rest is going on the wedding itself. In a way, it’s nice that she can do this with it, I suppose. It’s like her dad is still involved somehow.’

  ‘And when exactly did Kelly tell you about her dad’s money?’

  ‘On Sunday night.’

  ‘Right. You don’t think that it’s at all odd that my mother-in-law puts sixty-five thousand pounds in our cupboard under the stairs – which she’s also withdrawn for tax reasons – on Friday night, that then goes missing?’ I say. ‘And the very next day, your fiancée buys a very expensive item of jewellery with a pot of cash her dad had “hidden” in carrier bags, also for tax reasons?’

  ‘I think it would help if everyone started using banks, like normal people, yes.’ He tries to laugh. ‘But like I said, I also think it’s a coincidence.’

  But what he’s describing isn’t like unexpectedly bumping into someone you know on holiday… This is the kind of coincidence that is so extreme, and so surreal, that it can mean only one thing: someone has overplayed their hand and real events are colliding with their fictitious ones to reveal them for exactly what they are…

  Nothing but a pack of lies.

  ‘Did Kelly tell you she deliberately set up those photos of me?’ I ask, after a moment’s silence. ‘She admitted it outright at the flat.’

  He frowns in dismay. ‘Really? She honestly said that?’

  ‘She said it was to teach me a lesson not to believe everything you read in the papers. She also had a go at me for my “pretending” to be suicidal, and said she didn’t believe for one second I was in “that place”.’

  Will exhales heavily. ‘I’m very sorry about that. Please don’t think I’m trying to detract from the difficulties you’re having right now, but Kelly is finding things pretty tough herself at the moment. Like I said, it’s the anniversary of her mother’s death, which she’s still very much struggling with.’

  ‘I genuinely had no idea both of her parents were dead. Didn’t you say on Friday when you got engaged that you’d told Mum and Dad, and her parents too?’

  ‘No, I said we’d told her family. I meant her brother and sister, and she’s got a stepmother who she’s close to.’

  ‘When did her mother die?’

  ‘Kelly was fourteen.’

  ‘Oh!’ I say without hesitation. ‘That’s really sad. I’m sorry.’

  Will glances sideways at me. ‘They told Kelly she’d had a brain haemorrhage. Then her father died three years later from cancer.’

  ‘That’s dreadful,’ I say instinctively.

  ‘If I tell you something else, do you promise I can trust you? I’d like to put some context behind the hurtful things Kelly said to you at the flat.’

  ‘Of course you can trust me.’

  ‘Just before her father died he told Kelly and her brother and sister that her mother had actually killed herself.’

  ‘What?’ I’m appalled.

  ‘He’d lied about it to protect them until they were older, but the thing is, death certificates are public records and he was worried that once he died, they might see their mother’s and realize that the coroner had recorded a verdict of suicide. He obviously hadn’t reckoned on becoming so ill, so soon, himself. I think it’s fair to say he was probably stressed to oblivion, hence the bags full of cash. He wasn’t a man left with much faith in trusting anything or anyone.’

  ‘Kelly finding that out must have been like having her mother die all over again.’

  Will shoots another sideways glance at me. ‘Yes, I think it probably was. Anyway, everything has become even more complicated since Kelly got her big break at work. While her mother’s suicide is not something she’ll probably be able to keep private for ever, no one has stumbled on it so far. If anyone pushes in interviews, she just gives them the original version of the story that she was told. I mean it, Sal, you really can’t tell anyone this, but I promise Kelly didn’t steal that money from you.’

  All that loss in Kelly’s life would perhaps explain why she is so obsessively terrified of something coming between her and Will. Presuming it’s all true. But then who would lie about something like that? It could also explain why she went off the rails when she was younger and ended up in counselling.

  I reach for my phone and google Ignatia.

  Homeopathy: The remedy for loss, heartache and pain. Most homeopathic kits will have Ignatia in them, listing it as a treatment for bereavement, shock or grief.

  I start to chew my lip worriedly, and put the phone back in my lap before looking out of the window. She can’t possibly be telling the truth about everything. Can she?

  ‘Getting engaged has really stirred a lot of things up for Kel,’ Will continues. ‘She’s thinking a lot about how neither of her parents will be there for the wedding.’ He falls silent for a moment. ‘She’s had a great deal on her mind and is pretty upset. I take it you didn’t find anything when you searched the flat, obviously?’

  ‘No,’ I admit. ‘I didn’t find a thing.’

  *

  ‘Hi sweetheart!’ Matthew opens the front door and gives me a beaming smile – except it’s so heavily laced with worry, I know instantly that Mum has told my husband what just happened at Will’s. Matthew, however, is determinedly pretending everything is absolutely fine. ‘Thanks for driving, Will.’ He proffers his hand to his brother-in-law, who, with just as much forced jollity, takes it and they both pull into a brief back-slap hug. ‘Are you coming in? Want a coffee?’

  Will shakes his head. ‘No, I’d better get back. Kelly’s not feeling so great. But thanks.’

  ‘I really am grateful. Sally’s heading up to your mum’s in a bit –’ I look at my husband
, surprised. Mum’s told him then? – ‘so it’s really helpful to have her back in plenty of time to go.’

  ‘Will!’ There’s an exclamation behind Matthew, and Mum appears, arms outstretched. ‘Thank you so much for doing this.’ She pulls him into an embrace too and adds soberly, ‘You’re such a good boy.’

  It’s honestly as if someone actually has died.

  ‘You’re coming in?’ Mum stands to one side to let him past.

  ‘Thanks, but I really ought not to. I’ll give you all a call at home tomorrow. At yours, Mum, I mean.’

  ‘We’ll look forward to it, love.’

  ‘Let me at least drive you to the station.’ Matthew reaches into his back pocket for his keys.

  ‘Honestly, I’m fine.’ Will dismisses him with a wave. ‘You guys have got a long enough journey in a bit, anyway. I can walk. It’s only five minutes.’

  ‘Uncle Will!’ cries a small voice, and Chloe dashes into the hall, shyly peeping out from behind Mum.

  ‘Ah, hello there, Shorty,’ Will says with a smile. ‘How are you?’

  ‘We’re going to Granny Sue’s for – how many sleeps?’ She looks up at Mum uncertainly.

  ‘Maybe as many as four!’ Mum smiles.

  ‘For four sleeps! And I’m going to be in your old bedroom,’ Chloe tells him excitedly.

  ‘Well, is that so?’ He reaches out and ruffles her hair. ‘You mind out for the crocodiles I keep under the bed then, won’t you?’

  Chloe’s smile slips slightly, and she looks at me anxiously.

  ‘He hasn’t really got crocodiles under there, Clo, don’t worry. He’s just joking,’ I assure her.

  ‘I’m so sorry.’ Will turns to me aghast. ‘I have no idea why I just said that.’

  ‘Because you’re a K.N.O.B.,’ I spell out. ‘You can sleep in Mummy’s old bedroom, Clo, and I’ll sleep in Uncle Will’s, if you like,’ I offer.

  ‘Or I can sleep in there with you,’ she suggests.

  I shoot Will a deadpan look.

  ‘And on that happy note…’ Will says. He kisses me and bends to kiss Chloe quickly too. ‘Safe journey, you lot. Bye!’