by Lucy Dawson
We wave as he ambles off down the drive and until he reaches the end of the close, where he turns to wave back brightly, before rounding the corner and disappearing. Thank God. That almost felt normal when he left just then.
‘That was nice to see Uncle Will,’ Chloe says. ‘But I do not like crocodiles.’
‘I absolutely promise there aren’t any, Chloe, he was just being silly. Now, why don’t you go and choose some things to pack in your backpack to take to Granny Sue’s?’
‘I already have,’ she says. ‘I did it with Daddy.’
‘We’re all packed,’ Matthew says, ‘and the car’s loaded. We’re completely ready to go.’
‘What?’ I say in surprise. ‘But aren’t you meant to be working?’
‘No, no. It’s fine.’ He waves a hand. ‘I’ve sorted it.’
‘But when you say you’ve packed…’ I begin anxiously.
‘Me and your mum did it.’ He nods at my mother. ‘I’m pretty sure we got everything, but you can go and check, if you want? I’ve got the monitor, Theo’s room thermometer, the blackout blind, the Grobags, nappies, her toothbrush, stories—’
‘Dog?’ I check, nodding at Chloe.
‘I put him in, Mummy,’ Chloe says confidently.
‘We’ve got the lot, Sally,’ Mum says.
‘So, let’s go!’ Matthew reaches into his other pocket and checks for his mobile. ‘I’ll get Theo.’
‘Guys, please, hang on a minute,’ I implore. ‘We actually can’t leave now, otherwise we’ll be on the road when Chloe and Theo need tea. What’s the big rush for, anyway?’
‘I’ve packed her some sandwiches,’ Mum says. ‘You’re going to have a car picnic, aren’t you, Chloe?’
Chloe nods gleefully.
‘It won’t hurt, just this once, if she doesn’t have a proper evening meal,’ Mum adds firmly. ‘I’ll make sure we feed her up again tomorrow. Theo’s got one of his pouches, and I’ve made up his bottle. Do you want to pop to the loo then, darling? It’s a long journey.’
Thankfully, she actually does address Chloe with the last question, although I wouldn’t be surprised if she meant me. They are clearly all determined to get me away from here as soon as possible.
‘I need to pack, though,’ I point out.
Mum shakes her head. ‘I’ve done you too. And yes, I put in your make-up bag, and all of your lotions and potions. You’re only coming for three days anyway, Sally.’
‘But what about things like my phone charger? And where is Theo?’ I ask, starting to feel really stressed.
‘He’s in the sitting room with your dad, and my mum,’ Matthew says.
‘Your mum’s here?’ I say instantly. ‘Oh good! I need to ask her something.’
‘Well, can you make it quick?’ Matthew looks at his watch. ‘It really would be helpful if we could go sooner rather than later. It’s just, that way, I won’t be back again too late.’
‘You’re coming straight back here tonight?’ I say, astonished. ‘But that’s a six-hour round trip!’
‘I’ve got to work tomorrow, so I don’t have any choice. I’ll be fine, though, don’t worry.’
‘Hello, Sally.’ Caroline appears in the hallway too, holding Theo. ‘I’m going to stay here until you get back at the weekend, if that’s all right? So you can relax without worrying it’s all going to hell in a handcart and that you’re coming back to chaos.’ She nods at Matthew.
‘Thanks, Mum.’ Matthew rolls his eyes, albeit good-naturedly.
Then the three of them smile at me, and I realize that they are now all completely united, and that is what’s happening. Whatever they believe happened this afternoon has just sealed the deal.
‘Fine,’ I say wearily. ‘I’ll just go to the loo as well then, and we’ll get in the car. Has Theo got a clean nappy?’
‘Of course he has,’ Mum says smoothly. ‘I just changed him myself. Didn’t I?’ she croons, and holds out her hands to Theo. ‘Come on then, young man.’
‘I’ll just pass him to Matthew, shall I?’ Caroline plants a kiss on Theo’s head. ‘Then he can pop him straight in the car. You be a good boy for Granny Sue, won’t you?’ She hands Theo across to Matthew.
‘You did pack coats for us all, didn’t you?’ I ask Matthew.
‘Yes!’ he says, exasperated. ‘I’m going to get in the car now. See you later, Mum. I’ll be back about eleven-ish, but don’t wait up.’ He waves with his free hand, and heads resolutely out of the door.
‘Bob?’ Mum calls. ‘We’re off now. Are you ready?’
Dad instantly appears in the sitting-room doorway, wearing his lightweight anorak and holding a thermos.
‘Maybe I’ll quickly try,’ says Chloe, slipping off her backpack and dashing to the loo.
‘You get going, Mum, I’ll wait for Chloe,’ I say, determined at the very least to talk with Caroline before we go.
‘All right, love. Now, we’re not following you, we’re just going to make our own way back – Matthew thought that would be easier, in case you need to stop somewhere. If you get back before us, you know the spare key is under the brick on the patio?’
‘Yes, Mum.’
‘Good. Bye then, Caroline. Thanks so much for everything.’ Mum leans over and air kisses Caroline, then adds meaningfully, ‘We’ll stay in touch.’
I manage to refrain from making any comment about that.
Dad kisses Caroline politely too, and I stumble slightly as I step back to let him pass, leaving just the two of us in the hallway.
‘You poor thing.’ Caroline makes a sympathetic face. ‘You’re exhausted, aren’t you? Will you try and get some sleep on the journey?’
‘I didn’t know Kelly was going to be there, Caroline,’ I say earnestly. ‘I promise I didn’t go to confront her. Everything’s taken a really bizarre turn, though. She did set up those pictures, so we were right about that, and she had a photo of Theo and Chloe hidden away in her drawer, which really freaked me out. She said that it was for—’
Caroline shakes her head firmly. ‘No, Sally. It’s not proving helpful for us to keep having these kinds of discussions.’ She motions to the door. ‘Why don’t you get in the car? I’ll wait for Chloe.’
‘Wait, please! I need to ask you something. When you counselled Kelly about her mother’s death, which obviously you would have done, I imagine she expressed a lot of confusion and anger about her father keeping her mother’s suicide from her until just before he died?’
Caroline’s face is absolutely impassive. She registers no surprise or confusion whatsoever. So it is true.
‘Will told me everything this afternoon,’ I continue. ‘I assume it’s what triggered Kelly’s issues and made her become the person you felt you needed to warn me about, but then Will also told me this very implausible tale Kelly had spun about her father leaving her some cash. I feel so confused, I don’t—’
Caroline holds up a hand. ‘I’m not going to discuss Kelly with you any more, Sally. While I don’t think that you meant for everything to escalate as badly as I understand it did this afternoon, your parents and Matthew were badly frightened by Kelly’s earlier call to your mother, and you can see – I’m sure – that this situation, at the very least, isn’t constructive? I think a day or two away – just a change of scene – might be very helpful in rebalancing some perspectives.’
‘Sorry, what do you mean “rebalancing”?’ I say slowly. ‘I—’
‘You went through Kelly’s personal belongings and accused her of drugging you with a harmless homeopathic remedy.’
All the blood rushes to my face. ‘How do you know that?’
‘Your mother called Kelly again while you and Will were on your way back here. I arrived just in time to find them doing a FaceTime with Matthew. Kelly was very distressed.’
‘Did she see you?’
‘No. I waited in the kitchen until they’d finished.’
‘Do Matthew and my mum believe her?’
‘They are v
ery concerned indeed, as you might expect. I haven’t told them that you do believe she drugged you, and that you were, I suspect, looking for evidence. Currently, it’s your word against hers. Are you still absolutely certain you didn’t intend her any harm?’
‘Of course not!’ I look at her, frightened. ‘I told Will I was looking for the missing money.’
‘Right. Just on a very base level, Sally, strip everything else away; your theories, what everyone does or doesn’t know – and repeat back to yourself that you went through her belongings, and tell me you think that’s a perfectly rational way to behave. You wouldn’t be concerned about that alone, if you were us?’
I open my mouth, but falter, and before I can say anything more, Chloe appears at the top of the stairs. ‘I did one!’ she tells us happily. ‘And I washed my hands.’
‘What a clever girl!’ Caroline beams. ‘Now, come on, darling – let’s get your backpack, because Daddy and Theo are already waiting, and poor old Mummy wants the bathroom too, I think. I’ll take her out, Sal –’ Caroline turns briefly back to me – ‘but don’t slam the door behind you, will you – otherwise I shan’t be able to get back in. That would be no good, would it, Chloe?’ I hear her carry on chattering to Chloe as they trot out together, leaving me standing in the now silent hallway, completely alone.
‘Are you still getting loads of messages about the photos in the paper?’ Matthew nods at my mobile, as I peer at it while he drives.
‘Not so much now, no.’
‘Why don’t you put your phone down for a minute, Sal?’ he suggests gently. ‘It always makes you car sick, reading on the move.’
‘Mummy, when were there dinosaurs?’ Chloe asks from the back. ‘A hundred and twenty-two?’
‘A hundred and twenty two years?’ I ask. ‘No, darling. Longer ago than that.’
‘Hmmm.’ She ponders that. ‘Was it eighty-eight-to-ninety-one FM?’
In spite of everything, I smile and turn to Matthew. ‘I think we might be listening to Radio Two a little too much, don’t you?’
He smiles briefly, but says nothing.
‘Longer than that, Clo,’ I answer. ‘Dinosaurs were alive millions and millions of years ago.’
‘Can you ask me questions now, Mummy?’
‘I think Mummy’s just going to have a peaceful few minutes,’ Matthew interjects, flicking the indicator on and moving into the fast lane. ‘OK, Clo?’
Chloe sighs heavily.
‘Tell you what, just give me two more seconds and I’ll ask you some in a moment, OK?’ I promise, hitting Go on my Google search for ‘Kelly Harrington mother’.
Kelly Harrington – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Harrington’s mother, Denise Harrington, was a dance teacher, who Harrington has said inspired her to…
‘Mummy, I don’t want cheese sandwiches. I don’t like them.’
I put my phone down. I’ll have to look at this properly later. ‘What don’t you like about them?’
‘The cheese.’
I smile again. ‘Well, don’t worry, baby girl. We’ll stop and get you something else.’
‘Thank you, Mummy.’
‘You’re welcome, darling.’
Matthew puts his foot down a little more. ‘I’d rather not stop, actually. Can’t we just keep going?’
‘But Theo’s going to need us to stop too.’
Matthew looks at his sleeping baby boy in the rear mirror. ‘Really? He looks flat out to me.’
‘He won’t be for much longer. He’s definitely going to need us to stop so he can have something to eat.’
‘So am I,’ says Chloe. ‘Something that isn’t cheese.’
‘OK, OK, guys.’ Matthew holds up a hand. ‘It’s fine. We’ll find somewhere when he wakes up, then.’
‘Mummy, I need the loo.’
I see a muscle flex in Matthew’s jaw and wait for him to roll his eyes heavenward, or do a ‘for God’s sake’ rant, but he doesn’t. ‘It’s not a problem, Clo,’ he says soothingly. ‘We’ll pull in, have tea, and go to the loo at the next place we see, OK? And maybe we won’t drink a whole box of apple juice in one go next time, though, like I said, hey?’
‘Granny Sue said it was a treat for my lunch box.’
‘I know,’ he says. ‘Good old Granny Sue. The trouble is, sometimes people think they know what the best thing to do is, but actually they don’t. Never mind, though.’
I look at him again quickly. Was that directed at me?
Matthew keeps his eyes on the road and says nothing more.
Feeding both children at a Costa is predictably hard work. Chloe only eats two bites of a tuna toastie but scoffs the huge cookie Matthew unwisely buys her, resulting in an enormous and immediate sugar rush that has her bouncing on her seat and spilling her drink everywhere. Theo completely flips out when I try and change him on the fold-down baby changer in the disabled loo, as they are his most hated thing; followed by Chloe bellowing with her hands over her ears when she sets off the hand dryer – her most hated thing. Theo is also very reluctant to get back into his car seat again. He cries in the back for what feels like an age, frazzling all of our nerves, before finally falling asleep from sheer exhaustion, followed five minutes later by a relieved Chloe.
We drive in blissful silence for a moment or two, before Matthew whispers quietly, ‘I’m sorry. That was my fault. We probably should have left later. I’m just really tired, that’s all.’
‘You couldn’t have just stayed and worked from Mum’s tomorrow?’
He shakes his head. ‘I’ve got so much on at the moment, Sal. I need to be at home where I can get into the office easily, if need be.’
‘We didn’t have to come up just because Mum wanted it to happen. We could have just stayed put. Your mum would have helped me.’
Matthew shifts in his seat. ‘I think a change of scene would do you good.’
I open my mouth to respond to that, but before I can, he says quickly, ‘So has there been any more fallout from the photos in the paper, then? Are people still trying to contact you?’
‘Um, a few today. Some old work people, a couple of the NCT lot, two of the school mums texted. I didn’t actually speak to any of them, though; it was all a bit overwhelming, to be honest.’
‘You didn’t actually go to Liv’s today or speak to her in the end, then? That was just a cover for going to Will’s, I assume?’
‘Yes,’ I confess. ‘Liv’s actually still pretty angry with me because of what she thinks I was going to do in Cornwall.’
Matthew hesitates. ‘I think perhaps it’s a hard subject for people to understand, because they try to put themselves in that position and can’t imagine how someone might make a choice like that – when the desperately sad reality is, it’s a situation the person concerned has no control over.’
I glance at him, questioningly.
‘I’ve been chatting with Mum about it a bit this week,’ he explains. ‘Not in relation to you,’ he adds quickly. ‘Just about the subject in general.’
‘I see.’ I fall silent as I try to imagine Caroline also counselling a devastated and grieving Kelly, and saying exactly the same thing to her that Matthew has just said to me, but somehow I can’t picture Kelly as a teenager – I can only see her the way she is now.
‘I gather you all had a FaceTime call with Kelly today, where she told you I accused her of drugging me on Friday night,’ I say quietly.
He tenses. ‘Yes, we did. She was… pretty upset. Is it true? That’s what you said to her?’
I hesitate for a moment before admitting, ‘Yes.’
Matthew inhales sharply.
‘I thought I’d find proof,’ I say. ‘I could lie and tell you I was looking for the missing money, but I think it’s important I’m honest with you, of all people…’ I trail off. ‘I was convinced she was to blame for everything that’s happened.’
‘Only you’re not now?’ He concentrates on the road ahead.
I hesitate. ‘I don’t k
now,’ I say truthfully. ‘I’ve found out some things I wasn’t aware of, about her mother’s death, which actually makes sense of some of her actions – and she did deliberately have those horrendous pictures of me put in the paper, it wasn’t a mistake – but then she’s also flat out denied having anything to do with the money going missing, or my winding up in that taxi. She seemed… almost believable…’ I rest my head back on the seat. ‘Except Will also told me this ridiculous story on the way home about Kelly’s dad having half a million pounds in cash in his house when he died, and that Kelly, her brother and sister kept it, and Kelly used her share to pay for her engagement ring – not, as I thought, our money.’
‘You thought she bought her engagement ring with our missing money?’ I can tell Matthew is keeping his tone deliberately casual.
‘Yes. Will’s asked me not to tell anyone this, so please don’t say anything, but Kelly secretly upgraded the ring Will bought her for something a lot more valuable – in cash – the day after our money went missing. I know that for a fact. And I just can’t help but think the stuff about her dad’s money is just too ridiculous a story, and too much of a coincidence, to be true.’
Matthew raises his eyebrows, but says nothing. Encouraged, I continue. ‘I don’t know if you still think I’m trying to cover up what I was actually planning to do on Friday night, but I truthfully have no memory of it. I mean, obviously something extraordinary happened – people don’t just wake up at the other end of the country in the back of a taxi. On the one hand, knowing Kelly published those photos of me makes me think anyone capable of doing something that devious would also be capable of stealing our money – and drugging me to create a diversion.’ I pause to catch my breath. ‘But then I hear myself saying it out loud like that and it sounds so ludicrous! I also don’t have any proof that she’s done anything – except she’s got form, and she hates me.’
Matthew puts a steadying hand on my leg. ‘Sally, just stop. You need to calm down. We don’t need to go through all of this now. I don’t want you getting upset again. The kids are asleep, and in case they’re not later, shouldn’t you try and rest yourself? It’s not that—’