by Marcus Woods
It's difficult to do so with this Keisha-baby situation looming over me. I can't take this shit no more! Big Rob is right. I have to tell Lucy about this ordeal tonight. I love this woman so why continue to hold this secret? I can't let Keisha's delusional behavior get in the way of my happiness. I am telling Lucy tonight. Next, get a paternity test to determine if Antwan is my son or not ASAP.
I still can't believe the transition I made from high school to college. I went from a petrified, chubby kid to a masculine, muscular man. Now it is time for me to make another transition tonight. I pray, during this next transition, Lucy will still be in my life.
Chapter 17
Time To Face The Music
(Keisha Cole, "I Should Have Cheated" playing from the radio)
"I know the radio isn't playing this song!" I retort. I cut off the radio. The irony of a woman by the name of Keisha singing, "I should have cheated." Life has a cruel sense of humor.
As I drive to Lucy's house, my mind is in a tailspin. "How can I break this news to Lucy without her getting upset? Maybe I should not tell her and just get the paternity results. I'm certain the child ain't mine. Nah! I have to confess. I ain't saying shit about what occurred at mama's house though."
It's time get this out of my system. This Keisha-baby situation has consumed my life for the past few months. I'm tired of Keisha's pestering ways. I had enough of the calls from unlisted numbers and mysteriously popping up at locations I frequent. I refuse to be Martin Lawrence when he was in the movie, "A Thin Line between Love and Hate."
Oddly, I thought Lucy would be knowledgeable of the situation by now. Yet, Keisha stays on my radar without alerting her. Well no more! It is time to man up and tell Lucy the situation at hand.
Sitting in Lucy's driveway, I notify her of my arrival. "Well, here goes nothing," I whisper. My legs feel like two 1000lb cinderblocks are wrap around them. This must be how a death row inmate feels when walking towards the electric chair. This won't be pretty but at least the truth will finally come out.
Lucy opens the door. We exchange a hug and kiss. We sit on her plush lavender sofa. She takes a sip of water and places the glass back on the counter. Her left hand rests on her shoulder as she gazes into my eyes. Her hazelnut eyes twinkle with the sunlight beaming through her silk black curtains. Damn it! How am I going to reveal my alleged baby to this beautiful, light mahogany woman? There is no turning back now. It is time to face the music.
"Hey baby. Ummm. I got something to tell you," I said. I scratch my head as I attempt to overcome jitters. She adjusts her body closer to mine. Her eyes fill with disquiet.
"Ooook. Sure baby. What is it?"
I took a long, deep breath. This confession could alter the dynamics of our relationship. Relationships are built on trust. To withhold this secret for the past months violates trust.
"Lucy. I umm," I pause shortly. She grabs and massages my hand. Her gesture gave me some solace.
"Lucy. What I'm trying to tell you is…"
*Ring! Ring! Ring!*
The sudden ringing of Lucy's doorbell halts my confession attempt.
Lucy jumps up. "Huh! Who could that be?" Lucy said. She walks towards the front door to see who it is. I look away from the front door and adjust my posture on the sofa.
"Whoever this is chose the perfect time to come over," I mutter, sarcastically. I drop my head and stare aimlessly at her purple and black shag rug.
"Oh. Hey Keisha. I had no idea you was coming by today," said Lucy. My heart sunk. It couldn't be my Keisha. The universe wouldn't play this cruel trick on me. This has to be someone else.
"Hey girl! I was in the area and I had to come by and say hi," Keisha said.
Oh boy. My fears are confirmed. That is my Keisha. I recognize that crazy broad's voice from anywhere. She left me so many voicemails; I had no choice but to memorize her voice. I couldn't even bear to turnaround. My body position is stiff as a statue.
"Okay. That's great. So where is Antwan? You know I have yet to meet his cute little butt."
"Oh. You sure haven't met him. He is in the car. I just was stopping by to say hi. I didn't want to intrude on your company."
"Yes, I do have company. Hold on Keisha." Lucy turns her attention back to me.
"Hey babe. I know you wanted to talk to me about something. Do you mind if my cousin and her newborn come in for a few minutes. I haven't seen her since she had her son."
I want to respond with a "Hell to the no!" Instead, I reply "Sure baby. I understand. They can come in." Lucy urges her to go get her little cousin. Moments later, I turn my head and see Keisha enter while holding Antwan. It is coincidental that Keisha is wearing a red dress since she her actions are 'devilish'. Keisha glances and gives me an evil smirk. I shake my head in disbelief. How could Keisha and Lucy be cousins? It is a small world.
Lucy closes the door and introduces me to Keisha. Unbeknownst to Lucy, Keisha and I met a year ago online. A meeting in which transpired to a one night stand. A meeting I wish to never attended.
"Devin, isn't my little cousin adorable?" says Lucy. Her light brown eyes gleam while caressing Antwan's stomach. My palms are sweaty and my throat is dry as a desert. The irony of my secret coming over to Lucy's house is a cruel twist of fate. I refuse to let Lucy see me sweat. I attempt to hold it together.
"Yes, he is a handsome little thing," I murmur. I was being truthful. Keisha's baby is gorgeous. He is almost five months old. Guilt overcomes me for covertly analyzing his facial features for any possible resemblance. It's one thing to examine Facebook photos but another to see him in living color. Still, I'm not sure. Antwan has Keisha's eyes, mouth and nose. His skin tone is milk chocolate like mine. Keisha has a caramel, hazelnut skin complexion. Whoever the daddy is, chances are he is a dark skin fellow.
As Keisha and Lucy converse amongst themselves about family stuff, my mind drifts into deep thought. I can't believe Keisha has the audacity to put me through this bullshit. In addition, she fails to ever mention she was Lucy's cousin. When Keisha was trying to hook up with me, I informed her about my relationship. I even gave her Lucy's full name! I was too desperate to get Keisha out of my life.
My mind churns out this revelation: Keisha did all of that while pregnant. The puzzle pieces are starting to fit. All those times Keisha texted "We need to talk", she wanted to say she was pregnant. She decided to keep it to herself until after Antwan was born. Her perverse logic suggests if she cannot be with me, then this baby news would at least throw a wrench in my relationship with Lucy.
Ironically, the relationship is with her cousin. I bet she planned this scenario where she, Lucy and I would be here together. This is some low-down shit Keisha is pulling. She could care less about anyone else in this room (including her son) except for herself. I want to confess to Lucy that her little cousin may be my son. I just don't want things to get ugly; thus, I remain mute.
"So Devin, you got a nice Mustang out there. What you do for a living?" Keisha asks. Of course, she is aware I'm a personal trainer. Keisha is being messy right now. To maintain peace, I will play along.
"Thank you. I'm a personal trainer," I reply with a facetious smile.
"Yes. My baby is the best trainer in Memphis! So good that he is working on getting his own gym," Lucy says.
"Oh really? How interesting. What's the gym name gonna be?" asks Keisha. I can tell she is enjoying every bit of this. She is aware that Lucy remains uninformed about our one night stand in which conceivably led to the existence of Antwan.
"Fitness 4Play," I mumble.
"Huh? I can't here you. Please speak louder Mr. Businessman," Keisha puts her hand up to her ear. Her sarcasm infuriates me. This bitch is going to come into my woman's house where I was trying to confess peacefully and make it all about her. In addition, do this in front of my alleged son. I can't take it anymore.
I turn my body towards Lucy and grab her hand. "Lucy, baby, I got something to tell you."
"Ok. I thought you were going to
wait until later to tell me what was on your mind."
"I was but at this moment, it is the right time to confess." Lucy eyebrow raises. I took a deep breathe. Keisha interjects.
"What Devin is trying to say is Antwan is his son and he wanted all of us to be together to break the news." Lucy jaw literally drops. Her eyes appear to almost pop out of her head. Surprisingly, she didn't respond. Not one word. Her body froze. Not one movement. I can't believe Keisha seized my confession away from me. I wanted to be the one to break the news to Lucy. In an instant, I switch from confession mode to doing damage control.
"Wait a minute!" I exclaim. "For one, we have yet to prove Antwan is my son. Secondly, I had no idea you were coming over here. Hell, I was unaware you were related to Lucy until today!" Antwan starts crying.
"Keep your voice down. You're upsetting our son," Keisha replies. She rocks him back and forth. He eventually stops.
I shook my head. I calm down a bit and focus my attention on Lucy. Lucy remains in a state of shock. It as if her mind took a vacation. My mind tries to conjure up something to say to her. Nothing . I'm clueless what to say to comfort her, especially with Keisha's presence. I touch Lucy's arm but she barely budges. I can only imagine the disdain she feels for me at this moment. I want to inform Lucy regardless of the outcome of the DNA test (which will happen sooner than later), she is still my lady. I pray she still wants me to be her man.
The room fell eerily silent for a few moments. Out of nowhere, Lucy breaks the silence.
"Ummm, I think you both should leave right now," Lucy says, still looking away from us.
"But baby. Let me explain. I know things are misconstrued right now so please let me explain," I plead.
She turns her head towards me. Her stare is akin to a lion seeing a gazelle in the wild. Her body language reeks of lividness. Her face fiery red.
"Devin, you and your baby mama should take your newborn and leave right now."
"But Lucy. We still don't know if…" She cuts me off.
"Nigga, I don't care! You slept with my cousin! That's enough right there! And you got her pregnant too? You don't have shit to say me Devin! Now leave or I'm calling the police!" I never seen Lucy this upset before. During previous arguments, she got upset but not like this. But viewing the situation from her viewpoint, I understand. I fucked up. I should have told her about the Keisha-baby situation months ago. I let it linger for too long. So long, Keisha was actually the one who tells her.
"Before I go, just know he ate me out at his mama's house during his dad's party!" Keisha blurts out.
Damn! I knew Keisha would expose that secret too. With how irate Lucy is, why would you reveal that at this moment? This girl has no conscious.
"Baby, now that was a mistake. She blindfolded me! I thought it was you surprising me. I stopped as soon as I seen it wasn't you," I said to Lucy. Lucy stares at me with her arms cross. She breathes heavier than a fat man running a marathon. Damn, I got a lot of damage control ahead of me to perform. Tears stream down her face.
"Well at this point, I don't give a damn. I just want both of you to leave. You first Devin," says Lucy, while trying to fight back tears.
It was no use of trying to explain any further. I stand up and exit Lucy's residence. I got in my car and sped off before Keisha made it outside.
The quarrel I tried to prevent by going to Lucy's house occurred by who else…Keisha! Lucy probably does not want to talk for at least a few days. Nonetheless, I will try to contact her tomorrow. I refuse to let our relationship, friendship, love, and trust be destroyed by a one night stand with her cousin. It is time to get a paternity test ASAP. Lucy and my relationship can't continue until I do so. Besides, I cannot let Keisha hold Antwan over me any longer. Times like this make an average man give up. But not me. Not Devin Antwan Banks. I vow to make things right.
Chapter 18
Time To Make Things Right
A few days has elapsed after the debacle at Lucy's house. I have not spoken to my woman ever since. My phone calls, texts, emails, and Facebook messages go unanswered. Hell, I am thinking about mailing a postcard. Back in my player days, I prided myself on never blowing up a female's phone. If a woman were feeling me, she would call most of the time. I was the prize.
Now that I'm in love, the prize is claimed. It hurts Lucy is non-reciprocal to any of my attempts to contact her. Can I blame her though? I did her wrong to withhold the secret of possibly being the father to, of all kids, her little cousin!
Back in the day, I remember my mom looked at soap operas daily. General Hospital, Days of Our Lives, All My Children, etc. You name it and she watched it. I never cared for them. Soap operas were over-dramatic and never happened in real life. Years later, I'm in a real life soap opera. I know one thing: This is a soap opera my mama won't see!
I reached out to Keisha. I'm trying to communicate with her so I can get a paternity test. Antwan is a precious little kid but I pray to God and every angel that he is not mine. Communicating with Keisha is similar to getting a root canal. It seems like this woman gets more delusional every time I try to talk to her. She believes a paternity test is unnecessary because Antwan is mine. Yesterday, she told me my name is on his birth certificate. That didn't surprise me. Still, I can't believe Keisha would put my name on such a document without my knowledge or consent. The audacity of this broad!
She claims I am trying to escape paternal duties. Bullshit! I would not bother getting a paternity test to determine if Antwan is my son if that was the case. I'm open to co-parenting with Keisha if the test results are positive. I can only imagine how difficult that will be.
This paternity testing ordeal is foreign to me. So I decided to hook up with someone who got experience in this arena, Big Rob.
(Triple 6 Mafia "Dis Bitch, Dat Hoe" playing in Rob's truck stereo)
"Thanks playa. I really needed this favor", I said.
"No problem Dab. I've been in your shoes on two occasions. Hopefully, unlike for me, this turns out favorably for you," Rob replies.
Rob and I both took off today so we can go to the courthouse to file for a paternity test on my behalf. I rode with him in his 2005 black Dodge Ram truck. They say one's car is indicative of their character. Like his truck, Big Rob is huge, rough and tough. When it comes to his two kids, he is soft as tissue paper. On his dashboard was a picture of Big Rob and his kids at Disneyland.
"So playa. How are your little ones doing?" I ask. A warm, peaceful smile forms over Rob's face. He lowers the music volume.
"Mane, they are doing well. I hate seeing their mamas but it's all good. As long they're taken care of, I can deal with them."
"Cool. They always want to throw brothers under the bus for not being good fathers. But when we are handling our fatherly duties, recognition is nowhere to be found."
"Yea Dab. That's true. Despite the issues I deal with my baby mothers', I thank God for my little ones. I was wilding out here in these streets before they were born. Back then, I didn't give a damn anymore after realizing the NFL wasn't in my cards. I just wondered what my purpose in life was."
Rob's facial expression illustrates the pain he was in prior to fatherhood. I was aware of his discouragement for not fulfilling his pro football dreams. However, I had no idea it bothered him that much.
"Wow. I had no clue at all that is how bad you felt about not making it to the pros," I said. He slowly shook his head.
"Well now you got a little boy and girl who give you all the purpose you need in the world." He nods his head.
"Yep, I sure do. They saved me from myself. Again, I thank God for them," replies Big Rob.
Despite all the strife he endures with his baby's mothers, Big Rob loves his kids unconditionally. He easily could have excused himself from his children lives'. Instead, he takes care of them without regard, as a father should. Listening to Big Rob's motivates me to be a better man for Antwan if he is mine.
"Well Dab, here we are. 201 Poplar Avenue. You ready to hand
le this business?" Rob asks. I nod my head.
"You gave me the advice I needed about not keeping the secret away from Lucy. You taught me to not run away from my problems, but run towards them. Well I'm running towards this one too Big Rob." We exchange fist bumps.
"I'm glad to hear that. Speaking of Lucy, just give her time. She's a woman so they internalize things longer than us. She still loves you so she'll holler back at you soon. I guarantee it."
"Mane, I hope so. A brother can't be pussy-less for too many more nights," I joke. We start laughing.
"You a fool Dab. Let's get out," Rob replies, chucking.
"I'm just saying but okay."
I took a deep breath while scanning the perimeter of the building. The sign on the building read Shelby County Criminal Justice Complex. It's been one time when I came here with my mother to bail my father out of jail for a DUI charge back in the 1990s. Thank God, I never had a reason to frequent 201 Poplar. Despite growing up in the inner city, I was not enticed to live a troublesome lifestyle unlike some of my childhood friends. Other than a few schoolyard fights due to being bullied, I never was a troublemaker. If I was going to be successful, steering clear of and anyone involved in trouble was essential. That is why I barely communicate with most of my childhood friends today.
I step out of Big Rob's truck and head towards the entrance. This is going to be a life-changing event either way. Regardless if I am the father or not, this Keisha-baby ordeal will make me better a man.
"Hello. How may I assist you?" asks the female Shelby County jail employee.
"Yes. I would like to file a court order for a paternity test," I assert.
I am determine to make things right with Lucy and this is the first step.
Chapter 19
Business Awaits Me
(Tavares "She's Gone" playing in the background)