Hell, he hadn’t been pretending in the first place.
Chapter Eleven
Julia couldn’t remember the last time she’d been quiet for two hours straight. This was quite possibly a first. In a serious role reversal, Isaac seemed to have developed his own plan for the ride home, which included staring straight ahead and occasionally drumming his fingers against the steering wheel in time to the country station he’d set before he’d hauled her out to the truck.
After they’d said good-bye to the Gaffneys, Isaac had taken a vow of silence, so she’d watched the world pass by—the serrated peaks blanketed with new snow, the wide, rolling valleys in between them. Every once in a while, she’d had to turn around and calm Oliver, who didn’t seem to enjoy being stashed in his kennel on the backseat. The awkward silence seemed to get to the dog as much as it’d gotten to her.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to Isaac. She simply didn’t know what to say. Until last night, she’d accepted the fact that she’d never find what Ben and Paige had, or what her own parents had all those years ago. And yes, last night was amazing. But how long would it charm him to carry her around? To help her get dressed when she needed it? Would he ever wake up one morning and look at her and wonder if he’d made a mistake? If it was that easy for him to leave her once, would he do it again?
As they drove near the outskirts of Aspen, the silence between them seemed to pressurize. How would she say good-bye to Isaac? How could she tell him everything their night meant to her?
“Am I taking you back to the Walker ranch?” he asked, shifting and stretching as though the long drive had gotten to him.
“Actually, I’d rather go home.” Her voice sounded as hollow as she felt. This wasn’t how she wanted things to end. So she inhaled a deep breath of courage and faced him. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Or herself.
“I know.” For the first time in two hours, he peeled his gaze away from the windshield. “And I’m not mad at you, Julia. I’m mad at myself.”
But she didn’t want him to be. He shouldn’t be. “This is exactly why I didn’t want anything to happen between us, Isaac. Because I knew I was leaving. I knew I was starting over.”
“But something did happen,” he countered, slowing the truck and making the turn up to Ben and Paige’s ranch.
“I never should’ve let it. I should’ve stopped it. It was a mistake.”
“Forgive me if I feel differently. I don’t regret making love to you, Julia.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She didn’t regret it, either. “It’s just bad timing.”
He stopped the truck at an intersection and draped his arms over the wheel, looking at her with that passionate intensity that’d radiated between them all night. “I meant everything I said last night.”
She closed her eyes against the tears. “I did, too.”
“So what’re we supposed to do with that?”
“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “I had everything planned, and now…I just don’t know.”
“Well, let me know when you figure it out.” He turned up the music and redirected his stony gaze to the road.
The truck rounded the driveway and broke through the clearing. Ben and Paige’s place was just ahead. “My guesthouse is over—”
The sight on Ben’s porch cut her off. She squinted. Was that Mother? And Ben? And Paige?
“What’re they doing standing on the porch?”
Isaac continued his zombie-like stare straight ahead and shrugged. “Ben said he wanted to talk to you. When I called him.”
Her head snapped to Isaac so fast she felt the ping of tingling nerves.
He’d called her brother? “You told him?” As if this whole situation was any of his damn business.
“He asked me to. He was worried about you.” Isaac pulled up in front of the porch and let the truck idle.
She idled, too. Madly. How dare he go behind her back and inform her brother about her plans like she was some child? “That only proves that last night was a mistake.” She shook her finger at him, something she swore she’d never do, but it beat slapping him. “You’re just like them. They’ve always said that they’re worried I can’t take care of myself. But you know what the real problem is?” Fury and heartbreak and a deep sadness swirled into a whorl of emotions she couldn’t control. “They don’t believe in me. And neither do you.”
“Come on, Julia.” He took her shoulders in his hands and turned her to face him. “That’s not true.”
“Yes. It is.” Shrinking back, she gripped the door handle and shoved it open with her elbow, ready to welcome the scene that awaited. Let him watch. Let him see exactly what he’d put her up against. Should be real eye-opening for him.
“Julia!” Her mother stomped around the truck, bundled from head to toe in fur. “Please tell me this is all some horrible misunderstanding.”
Great. So Ben had blabbed to Gracie. Typical. She glared at them both. “No. It’s not a misunderstanding. I’m moving to Dallas.”
“You’re not moving.” Ben nudged Gracie out of the way and gathered Julia into his arms. “I canceled your plane ticket.”
“You what?”
“I canceled it,” he ground out. “God, Julia. You can’t just up and leave. After everything we’ve done for you, you run away without telling any of us?”
“Enough, Ben.” Paige grabbed his arm. “Why don’t we all go inside and talk calmly?”
Calmly? Ha. Her sis-in-law had a lot to learn about Noble family discussions.
Julia’s dramatic mother made the point for her—huffing out noisy breaths and clutching at her chest like her heart was broken. “It’s not safe,” Gracie whined. “You need us. You can’t be on your own.”
Isaac carted her wheelchair over just in time to witness the circus. While Ben and Gracie continued to tell her all of the reasons she couldn’t leave, he unloaded Oliver’s kennel and opened the latch.
Whimpering, the dog scuttled over to her and stood devotedly beneath her, scratching at Ben’s leg as though demanding he put Julia down. Seemed Oliver didn’t like overbearing family members, either. Amazing how much they had in common.
She shot Isaac a silent look. See? Her family didn’t believe in her. They didn’t believe she was strong enough or smart enough or good enough to make it on her own.
But she would prove them all wrong. “Put me down,” she ordered her brother. “In my chair. Now.”
He complied, but stationed himself at the handles behind her. “We’ll find you a different job here, if that’s what you want,” he informed her as though he had her whole life all figured out. “You don’t have to help out at the ranch anymore.”
Before he could push her anywhere, Julia shot away from him, pumping her arms hard to trek across the icy driveway to her house. Oliver trotted next to her. “You won’t change my mind, Ben,” she called.
He followed behind her, but she turned and raised her hand to stop him. “Now I’m going home. To my house. And none of you are welcome.”
Isaac jogged over. “Julia, wait…”
“Thanks for everything,” she said tightly. Ignoring the sad way his eyes drooped, she wheeled herself up the ramp and waited for Oliver to follow her inside.
Then she did what she should’ve done in the first place. She shut them all out.
* * *
“Welcome to the best burgers in town,” Ben said, holding open the High Altitude Café’s shoddy door. “Trust me. This is my future in-laws’ place. They don’t serve your average burger.”
Isaac stepped inside and glanced around. The battered black-and-white checkered floors and dark wood paneling reminded him of something off a 1970s sitcom. “If you say so.” Though he’d eaten in much worse during his stint in the Middle East.
“Yo, Benny.” A tall redhead greeted Ben with a handshake. “Where’s that smokin’ hot sister of yours?”
Isaac assessed him. Who the hell was this guy?
�
��Julia’s pissed off at me, as usual,” Ben told him. “She’ll get over it, though.”
Yeah, Isaac wasn’t so sure about that. Wasn’t sure she’d get over any of it. And she had every right to be pissed from what he’d seen. At all of them.
“Isaac Nash, meet Pete Harper.” Ben whapped the man’s shoulder. “This here’s my future brother-in-law.”
“Yeah, you’re finally making an honest woman out of her. About time, Noble,” Pete grumbled, but a smile broke through.
“Isaac here is a groomsman. All of this wedding shit is getting out of control. We need a couple of hot and spicy burgers stat.”
“You got it,” Pete said, tossing a white towel over his shoulder. “I’ll bring you a couple of White Rascals, too.”
“Now you’re talkin’,” Ben said, then led Isaac to a booth by the window.
After they sat down, he figured he might as well get right to it. Because from what he’d seen, Julia was right. Her family didn’t believe in her. And yeah, maybe he’d been gone for twelve years, but he could still put Ben Noble in his place when the situation demanded.
He glared across the table at his friend. “You were pretty hard on Julia earlier.”
Ben glared back like he could see where this was going. “Yeah, well, she can’t be on her own. You know that.”
Except he didn’t. “Seemed to me like she had a pretty good plan. And now she has Oliver.”
“A dog? You think a dog’ll be able to help her?” Ben laughed. “Come on, Nash. A dog can’t protect her. What would happen if she fell?”
He didn’t back down, even though a subtle red hue shaded Ben’s face. “Your sister’s pretty strong. If something happened, she’d deal with it.”
“What the hell?” His friend leaned halfway over the table. “Where do you get off? You weren’t there. You didn’t spend years of your life in the hospital watching her suffer.”
Yeah. He got that. He’d fucked up. Big time. But now that he knew, now that he realized his mistake, he’d do everything he could to help her find happiness. “She shouldn’t suffer anymore,” he said, matching Ben’s unyielding tone.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“She’s not happy here. Living your life. She wants to make a life for herself. Can you blame her?”
His eyes narrowed. “What happened between you two?”
No use denying it. Talking about Julia made him come alive. It had to be all over his face. “I love her,” he said, because that was the simple truth.
“No shit,” Ben laughed. “I’ve always known that.”
“You knew?”
“I’m not blind. I pretty much knew when you sat and held her hand in the hospital all day before you took off.” The humor in his eyes dulled. “She was crushed, you know. When she started to come to, she asked for you. And I had to tell her you were gone. It took her years to get over it.”
“I know.” But the regret wouldn’t do him much good now. All the mattered was what he did next. And he was starting to figure that out…
A heavy sigh slouched Ben’s shoulders. “She really told you she’s not happy here?”
“No. She didn’t say that.” But he’d felt it. He’d seen it an hour ago when she stormed off into her house. “She loves you. But this isn’t what she chose for herself.”
“So you think I should let her go.” Ben’s hands pulled into fists, and for the first time, Isaac realized how hard that would be for him. Torture. The same way he felt when he thought about never seeing her again.
“You think she should live thousands of miles away from the people who love her the most? From the people who can help her?”
“I think you have to let her go or you’ll risk pushing her away forever.” Just like he did. “She’s brilliant. And brave. And the woman has more guts than some of the men I served with.”
Whistling, Ben shook his head. “Wow. Someone’s whipped.”
He couldn’t hide it. “Yeah. Not that it matters. She’s got it in her head that she has to make this new start on her own.” As much as that sucked. “We all know how it goes when Julia gets something in her head.”
“Tell me about it,” Ben agreed. “But you’re not even gonna try and change her mind?”
“No one can change Julia’s mind.” He’d learned that lesson about a hundred times in his life. “But would it be all right by you if I skip out on the rehearsal dinner tonight?” Because he was currently making other plans that involved a whole mess of boxes and Julia’s small house.
“Fine by me,” his friend said. “Paige might not agree, though.”
Isaac doubted it. She seemed just as laid back as her fiancé. “I guess I’ll take that chance.”
A slow smile took over Ben’s face. “What’re you gonna do?”
“Something I should’ve done in the first place.” He’d prove he supported Julia’s dreams and hope it was enough.
Chapter Twelve
For once, Julia didn’t feel like dancing. Even to the 80s music the live band was currently playing. Hello! “Walk Like an Egyptian”? Usually that was her trademark dance. Which meant she had it worse than she thought.
All night during the rehearsal, then yet another party, her eyes had searched for Isaac. He didn’t show up. And, while the prospect of seeing him had her all knotted up, not seeing him breathed fear into her heart. He wouldn’t leave Aspen without saying good-bye, would he?
Because the thought of never seeing Isaac again made her heart feel shriveled and ancient. Like that tantalizing passion was all in her past.
“You still mad at us?” Paige appeared next to her and plunked herself down on the couch.
“I was never mad at you.” Well, at least not at Paige. The rest of her family? They deserved to have the door slammed in their faces. She shot a warning look at her sis-in-law. “You do realize you’re the only other sane person in this family now, right?”
Paige grinned. “Then we’ll have to stick together.”
The door opened across the room, distracting Julia. She strained her neck to get a look at who walked through. Damn. Just a waiter.
“So where’s Isaac?” her sis-in-law asked casually. “Ben said he couldn’t make it to the rehearsal. Something came up.”
“I don’t know.”
“I thought he’d be here with you. Since you two kissed and all.”
Oh, yes. They’d kissed. They’d done lots of other things, too. Things that still made her stomach all molten and her face steamy. “Things didn’t go so well between us,” she admitted. It wasn’t like Paige wouldn’t find out eventually.
“Spill it, sister,” Paige demanded. And Julia did. Every gory detail. When she finished with the long, silent ride home, Paige’s eyes were practically bugging out of her head.
“So that’s it? That’s how you left it? After you two spent a hot, passionate night together, you just walked away?” Grabbing the handle of her chair, Paige jerked her so they were face to face. “Julia…I get that you’re afraid he’ll pick up and leave again. That makes sense. But think about it. What if he would’ve stayed back then? What would’ve happened?”
Well, according to her dreams, they would’ve declared their unending love and lived happily ever after. Yes, it sounded ridiculous. So she didn’t say anything.
Sighing, Paige tried again. “Do you think you two would’ve gotten married or something? I mean, what eighteen-year-old kid is ready for that?”
The hot prickle of humiliation rolled up her forehead. “It’s not like I wanted to marry him then.” Liar.
Paige leaned in, her hazel eyes wide with energy. “What if he hadn’t gone off and seen the world? What if he hadn’t been in the Navy? What if he hadn’t experienced all of that?”
“I don’t know what would’ve happened.” All she’d known was what she’d wanted to happen. But now that she thought about it, Paige was right. That was completely selfish.
“All I’m saying is…” Paige took he
r hand, squeezing it lightly, like she wanted to ease the discomfort her next words would cause. “Maybe he came back when he was ready. Maybe he came back now because he’s stronger and braver. Maybe all of that made him a better man than he would’ve been.”
The lump of emotions that had massed in Julia’s throat burned.
Paige let her hand go. “Just like your accident made you stronger and braver. Both of you have been through hell, and now there’s nothing you can’t do. Including fighting for each other for the rest of your lives.”
A sweet release surged inside of her. That’s what she wanted. More than anything. Paige was right. Over the last twelve years, they’d both become who they needed to be.
“I was so mean to him, Paige. I made him feel so guilty.” Even after all of that, he wasn’t mad at her. Only himself.
“Julia!” Her sis-in-law whapped her. “This is amazing! You’re in love.”
Yes. She could acknowledge that now. But… “What if I ran him off?”
Popping to her feet, Paige flagged down Bryce, who happened to be hovering near the appetizers. “Hey! What room is Isaac staying in?”
“He checked out. Said he was gonna stay somewhere else tonight.”
“Somewhere else?” Julia whispered. As in another city? State?
“Don’t worry.” Paige patted her. “We’ll call him.” She sashayed over to where Ben stood and seductively slipped his phone out of his pocket, making eyes at him the whole time.
Gross.
With the phone pressed against her ear, Paige traipsed back to the couch. “He’s not picking up, but don’t worry. I’ll leave a message.” She paused, then her eyes brightened. “Hi Isaac! This is Paige.”
A bolt of panic shot through Julia. She made a grab for the phone, but Paige hopped away just in time.
“I’m Ben’s fiancé. Remember?” she prattled. “Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you’re still coming to the wedding tomorrow. Because Julia loves you. Like really loves you.”
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