I had resentfully placed my makeup bag into her outstretched palm. My eyes looked huge and ringed by dark circles. I pinched my pale cheeks, hoping for a miracle. It was no use, I looked horrid.
I opened the bedroom door a crack. People were milling around the kitchen, waiting impatiently for the wedding to begin. Aunt Thelma was trying to calm my father down.
“If that man doesn’t show up within ten minutes, I’m calling this wedding off!” he was threatening.
I closed the door and went back to sit on the bed. Actually, I was glad the men were late. It gave me some time to be alone. This had all happened so fast that my head was still reeling. Today was October 27, 1968. So much had happened in the eight days since I’d turned fifteen. Was it only three days ago that Ervil had planned to have me sealed to him? I shuddered. Well, Verlan was taking me to Baja, and I wouldn’t have to see much of Ervil.
I thought about leaving Colonia LeBaron. I loved this place and the people who lived here. They were all like my own family. I knew all their sorrows and joys. I knew the name of every child, and when every new baby was due. I hadn’t realized it before, but I really loved Colonia LeBaron. And now, the name LeBaron would be mine. Susan LeBaron. It sounded elegant.
I thought about leaving my mother, and felt a rush of emptiness. I realized how little I had appreciated her in the past. In the last year I had convinced myself that I was ready for a home of my own, where nobody could tell me what to do. Now, I wasn’t sure at all.
Tears surfaced. How I wished Jay were here! I had never contemplated Jay missing my wedding. I had missed his, and he was missing mine.
Suddenly there was a knock on the bedroom door. Dad peeked in. He was decked out in his sky-blue suit and tie. “Well, young lady,” he growled, trying to hide the emotion in his voice, “I hope you’re ready. The groom has finally showed up. Forty minutes late to his own wedding! But then, he’s a LeBaron, so we’re supposed to put up with it.”
He walked into the bedroom and helped me from the bed. “Said they couldn’t get out of their meeting any sooner.” He continued, disgusted, “If they’d all stop their arguing and get to the point, it’d help. Well, it don’t make any difference, I guess. They’re here now, and mighty anxious to get the show on the road.”
Dad fussed with my train, and then took my arm. “You ready? Then, give your daddy a kiss.”
He marched me out of the bedroom and down the long aisle formed by people standing on either side of the room. I tried to make him walk slowly like I had seen in movies, but he was in a hurry to have it over with. We fairly flew past the admiring crowd, Franny’s shoes slipping up and down on my ankles with each step.
Certain faces stood out in the crowd of people. I could see Grandma LeBaron, a pleased smile on her face as she looked at me. Then Debbie’s solemn features caught my attention. She darted a glance at Ervil, who was staring at me over the top of Anna Mae’s head. I lifted my chin and looked straight ahead as we swept past.
Irene, appearing calm and serene, stood next to Verlan in front of the fireplace. She took my hand from Dad’s arm, squeezed it, and placed it in Verlan’s. He grinned at me as together we turned to face the Prophet Joel.
Without further ado, Joel opened his manual and the ceremony commenced. As he read the words of the sealing ceremony, his voice rose and fell with emotion. When he paused to wait for Verlan and me to recite our vows, his eyes glistened with pride. The words of the sealing escaped me, but a feeling of reverence, a bounding holiness, enveloped me. I spoke the words with firm resolve as Verlan looked down into my face, and I shivered with the magnitude of the vow I was speaking. Joel was sealing us to one another in marriage for eternity. Forever and ever, throughout the worlds to come, I would be Verlan’s wife.
The crowd pressed around us. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Aunt Thelma’s face, a contented smile on her lips. Mom stood next to her, somber and pale, and a sudden flash of remorse clouded my happiness. How would she ever manage with both Jay and me gone? I hadn’t thought of that until this very moment.
After the ceremony, Verlan kissed me, and the guests hugged me. I was passed around the room, while everyone talked, and wished me happiness. Suddenly I was face to face with Ervil.
I steeled as he bent over and kissed me on the cheek. “Susan Ray,” his voice was a husky whisper against my ear, “a man in my position doesn’t receive false revelations.” Straightening up, he smiled good-naturedly and said out loud, “Best wishes. Verlan is a good man.”
I stared, electrified by his whispered words and sickened by his duplicity. The threat pounded in my brain. What was he trying to say to me?
Instantly, Grandma was at my side, her thin arm protective around me. “Susan, honey, Verlan’s going to take good care of you.” Her voice was reassuring as she maneuvered me toward the kitchen. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Ervil dear,” she said over her shoulder, not even glancing at him as we left him staring after us.
“You are the most beautiful bride!” Grandma continued softly to me.
“Thank you, Grandma.”
“Now, now,” she squeezed my hand. “You should call me Mother, like the other girls do. I’m so pleased to have you married to my Verlan.”
“Can I get in on this party?” Irene interrupted. “Oh, Susan, what a lovely bride you are,” she kissed me on the cheek.
“Thank you,” I murmured, wondering how she truly felt. Was she honestly as glad about me as she appeared?
As Irene rattled on, I sent a swift glance in Ervil’s direction. Aunt Thelma and Uncle Bud were huddled near him. Ervil had his arm slung loosely around Bud’s shoulder, and they all burst into laughter at something Ervil said. It suddenly concerned me to see Ervil patronizing my relatives.
I searched for Verlan. Men surrounded him in a corner of the dining room, and they were slapping him on the back and talking all at once. He noticed me and threw his hand in the air in an exaggerated wave. I smiled and moved in his direction.
Kristina and Anna Mae approached me. Flinging her arms about my neck, Kris wailed, “Oh, I can’t tell you how disappointed we are that you married Verlan instead of Ervil, Sue! I’m sick about it! I could hardly come to your wedding.”
Anna Mae yanked Kris away from me. “Now, don’t you mind her, Susan, she doesn’t mean it. You just be happy!” She smiled brightly, the gold flecks in her eyes sparkling. I squeezed her hand. Ervil had some wonderful wives. I quickly moved away from them. When I looked for Verlan again, he’d disappeared.
On the dining room table was a huge sheet cake with pastel green frosting, and a crystal bowl of strawberry punch. I guessed this to be Verlan’s idea of a wedding reception. I took a slice of cake and looked around the room, wanting us to feed each other, as I had seen at other weddings. I moved among the guests out in the lantern-lit yard, looking for a tall man in a dark suit. There was not a tall man among them.
Wait a minute, I thought slowly. Where’s Joel? And the other men? None of them were in sight.
“Mark,” I called as he walked outside, “Have you seen Verlan and Joel?”
He slung his arm around my shoulders. “Sweet little Cuz, they all just left. I think they went back to finish their meeting.”
“No!” I whispered, aghast. “Oh, Mark, you’re teasing me!”
Brother Jensen’s third wife, Lawreve, hurried across the yard toward me. “Susan,” she avoided my eyes, “Verlan asked me to tell you that he’s sorry, but he had to go back to a meeting. He wants me to help you get your things, and take you to my house to wait for him. That’s where the meeting’s being held. You can rest there until it’s over. I’ll be just a few minutes.”
I nodded, thanked her, and moved away. Lawreve was feeling sorry for me, I could tell. Instant anger flared inside me. Why couldn’t Verlan have told me himself! Well, Suze, I thought grimly, t
his is just an example of what’s to come, being married to an important man.
I wandered around for a while among the guests and thanked them for coming to my wedding. No one seemed shocked by the disappearance of the groom. Mom and Dad soon left, taking Fara and Ramona home to bed. “I’ll be there in a while to get my things,” I called after them.
Soon the last of the guests left. I put an apron over my wedding dress and helped wash saucers and glasses. “You don’t have to do that!” Sister Wakeham protested.
“No, I want to, really,” I assured her. I needed something to keep my hands busy, to fill the time so I wouldn’t feel so much like I’d been abandoned.
“Ready to go?” Lawreve was finally at my side. She drove me to my parents’ house for my bags, and so that I could tell my family goodbye. I ran into my bedroom and changed out of the borrowed wedding dress, putting on a pair of jeans and my old shoes. I kissed Ramona’s soft cheek, and she wrapped her sleepy arms around my neck. “I love you, little sister.” Homesickness rushed over me, and I wept.
Fara’s gray eyes were full of assurance. “You are going to be fine, Sue. Stop your crying. You are going to have a blast!” She hugged me and kissed my cheek.
I set my suitcase down on the front porch and tapped on my parents’ bedroom door. “Come in, honey,” Mom called.
“Oh, Mama,” I sobbed, burying my face against her neck.
“There, there, you are going to be fine,” she echoed Fara’s words as she patted my back.
“Here, little girl,” Dad said, handing me my wedding present. It was a ten- dollar bill, American, crisp and green. “This is to buy you a new pair of shoes. We can’t have our girl going off on her honeymoon without decent shoes.” I hugged him goodbye and tucked the money into my suitcase. It was more money than I had ever had before.
The Jensens’ home was a mansion compared to most of the homes in the colony. Lawreve and I tiptoed across the tiled floors, past the sunken living room with its closed doors. Behind the doors I could hear the murmur of men’s voices. I paused, hoping to hear Verlan, but Lawreve turned and motioned me to follow her. We walked downstairs, and she set my suitcase down in a cool, basement bedroom.
“You might as well get comfortable,” she advised. “Put your pajamas on, and go to bed. I know those men. That meeting won’t be over until the wee hours. Get some rest. It’s been a big day for you, and tomorrow will be another one.”
Turning the lamp down low, she gave me a quick hug, and left.
Wide awake, I wandered around the bedroom. My wedding night was certainly turning out differently than I had thought it would. But I had expected to spend it with my husband.
After an hour, I tiptoed up the stairs and stood in the wide hallway outside the heavy living room doors. I could hear angry voices, but they were too muffled to comprehend. As I strained to catch the words, I heard Ervil’s raise above the others. Were the men taking Ervil to task about Debbie? Unable to identify their words, I crept back to the bedroom and lay down on the bed still clothed. I pulled a blanket over me and snuggled under it to wait for Verlan.
I wondered what the men would do about Ervil. The memory of his whisper rang in my ears. “A man in my position doesn’t have false revelations.” Well, Verlan and I were married now, and Ervil’s so-called revelation was indeed false. Yet his taunting words haunted my thoughts. What was he trying to say?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"Susan, it’s time to go,” Verlan shook me. “Put on your shoes, honey. I’ll get your bags.”
I struggled to awaken, trying to place where I was. Verlan was hurrying out the door, his arms full. Suddenly I remembered. I was married! Verlan and I were married, and we were going on our honeymoon.
As I sat up and reached for my shoes, I looked around me. The window above my head revealed a piece of black sky through the edge of the curtain. The lamp on the dresser still burned low, the chimney smudged with soot, which told me that several hours had passed since Lawreve had left me here. Just as she’d warned, the men’s meeting had lasted until almost morning. I picked up my jacket, blew out the lamp, and followed Verlan through the quiet Jensen home.
Parked in the driveway with its lights on and its engine running sat Dan Jordan’s green Volkswagen bug. Verlan moved to the front of the car and handed him my suitcase. My heart sank. Verlan had mentioned we would be traveling to Chihuahua City with someone, but I’d had no idea that it would be Dan Jordan. What a lousy way to start a honeymoon!
Now Susan, be nice, I thought. He’s probably a fine enough guy in spite of those shifty black eyes. Just because he hangs around with Ervil is no reason for you to dislike him. He’s an apostle of the church, just like Verlan. Don’t be so quick to judge people.
Dan’s wife, Sharon, scooted up to let me into the backseat. Sharon was Esther and Floyd Spencer’s daughter, and she had her father’s thin birdlike features. She was heavy with pregnancy and looked miserable as she turned to greet me.
“It’s a terrible time of the morning to start a long trip, isn’t it? You look worn out.” She clucked her tongue as she peered at me in the dim light. “Didn’t you sleep while the men were in their meeting?”
“Yes, some. But I was too excited to rest really well.” I wiggled on the hard seat. “I hope we won’t be crowding you too much.”
“Now, don’t you worry about me!” She moved up again to let Verlan in next to me. “I’m just glad to have a chance to spend some time with Uncle Verlan. It’s been ages since we’ve had a chance to visit, hasn’t it, Uncle?”
“It certainly has!” Verlan’s voice sounded hearty, and not a bit tired. “Since you were just a little thing. And now Dan’s got you all saddled down. Four kids, right?”
“And one on the way.” Sharon said brightly. “Mother’s keeping the kids for me until the baby is born.”
As Dan backed the car out of the driveway, Verlan wrapped his arms around me. “Susan, honey, I’m so sorry about tonight.” he whispered, his lips against my cheek. “That meeting was important, or I would never have left you. Forgive me?”
“Of course,” I murmured, anticipating the rest of our honeymoon. The stars twinkled above our heads as we bumped over the cattle guard at the front entrance to the colony. As we climbed onto the highway, I looked back, through the Volkswagen window at the town of my childhood. All I could see of Colonia LeBaron was a dark group of trees and a thin, gray ribbon, which was the main road that ran past the church house. I followed the ribbon with my eyes, to the end of the colony and back again, but the darkness hid my family’s place from my view. I stared for a minute, imagining the ramshackle adobe where my mom and dad, Fara and Ramona slept. I hadn’t even told my cows goodbye. I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned back around, settling into the seat. Verlan’s hand held tightly onto mine.
The little car quickly gained momentum, and soon we were flying down the highway and passing every vehicle on the road. I could tell the reckless speed made Verlan nervous. He peered over Sharon’s head as he watched every move Dan made. His tense fingers gripped mine. After a while he began to relax.
Once the winking lights of Buenaventura were far behind us, Dan turned slightly in the seat and drawled, “Well, Verlan, I don’t know about you, but I’m not too thrilled about the decisions that were made tonight. You didn’t say much. How do you feel about the stand Joel has taken against Ervil?”
I pricked my ears and watched Verlan. “You know very well how I feel,” he replied promptly. “As a church, we have no right whatever to try to force people into anything. Ervil’s way off base. Joel was right to put his foot down with him. He should have done so long ago, in my opinion, but he was hoping Ervil would come to his senses on his own. He’s way too pushy, and people won’t stand for it. If he keeps it up, he’ll run off our members! There is a civil government to handle criminal
s; we don’t have to worry about it. We should be concerning ourselves with men’s souls, with teaching them the law of love—not with trying to push our weight around on a civil level.”
So, Ervil had lied when he told me that he wasn’t planning to start an immediate enforcement of the Civil Law! I knew why now. He had been afraid it would scare me away.
“You’re saying that we should continue to let the law of the land handle our people?” Dan’s nasal voice interrupted my thoughts. “Come on, Verlan! God’s people who break His Law should be tried and punished by the leaders of His Church. That’s the way it was back in the days of Moses and all through the Old Testament, and that’s the way it should be now. Why can’t you and Joel and the others see that?”
Verlan’s tone turned abrupt. “Let’s not discuss this. We’re not going to agree; besides, it isn’t a subject to talk about in front of women. I’m on my honeymoon, remember? All I want to think about is this sweet girl in my arms.”
Verlan nestled his head in my neck. His whiskers had grown during the night, and they burned. I settled back again and tried to ignore the tension in the car. As Sharon picked up the conversation, talking about family news and other small matters, I hugged my new husband, stroked his hair, and tried to get used to the thought that I was married. Soon he dropped his head onto my shoulder and began to snore. I lay my head back and drifted into a sound sleep.
The sun was coming up when I awoke. I could see the outskirts of Chihuahua City. Tingling with excitement, I looked around. The city appeared dingy and forlorn in the predawn light, with garbage and old rusty cars lining the highway. A plastered adobe wall ran for miles along the road, the name of the president of Mexico painted on in bright red and green. A group of people walked along the highway, making their way into the city for the day’s trading. The man in the group led a burro with its pack stacked high and held the hand of a barefoot boy. The two women were wrapped in shawls, the younger one holding a baby. The other woman carried a huge, earthen jug on her head. She wasn’t holding on to it, and I turned in the seat as we passed, marveling at her perfect sense of balance.
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