“It’s… my birthday,” she said, filling a bowl with salad and handing it to me. What? My eyes darted to a few gifts wrapped underneath the window. Brought by the guys, no doubt. Wow. I was such a horrible friend. I had forgotten her birthday. And she had probably told me a dozen times.
“Clover,” Mauricio said, puckering his lips after a sip of lemonade. “What’s in this?” We all looked over at Uncle Mason, who was on his sixth or seventh glass, snuggling up to Jax while merrily singing Old King Cole.
“Smells like a lot of weed,” Jax deduced, forcefully pushing my uncle away. Mauricio eyed his salad skeptically. Jax and I followed suit. We were almost certain of its high THC content.
“It makes people happy,” Clover chimed nonchalantly, munching on her broccoli. She dabbed a cloth napkin to her chin and nodded for Mauricio to eat. He stole a glance at Uncle Mason, who was now on his feet, dancing to his own music.
“That’s too happy,” Mauricio said, sliding his bowl to the side. Then she turned hopefully to me. I rolled my eyes with a laugh. Oh well. When in Rome? My shoulders noticeably loosened after I chugged the lemonade.
“Jax,” I called, wiping my mouth with a sleeve. “Do us all a favor and drink. You could use a buzz.” I ignored his cool glare and ate my food beside Clover. This was the least I could do for her on her birthday. If I wound up like a joyful lunatic, so be it.
“If only my brother Cloves could be here,” Clover declared, sinking her head to my shoulder. “But he wanted to be with his friends.” Mauricio propped his elbows on the table.
“Don’t you have hundreds of brothers here?” He asked.
“Cloves is my biological twin,” she clarified with a mouthful of green leaves. Mauricio was still unconvinced.
“There’s no way. The world is physically incapable of handling two of you,” he argued. And this led to an impassioned debate between the two, which outlasted dessert. The small plant-based high made me more comfortable socially. But thankfully, Renezen wasn’t mentioned again. By the end of the night, my uncle-chaperone was toasted. Three burly tiny-house sisters carried him into Jax’s car. He quickly fell asleep beside Mauricio in the backseat.
Our drive together was quiet. With the exception of Uncle Mason, each person attended to his or her window. Looking out at a world that seemed different to all of us. Once we dropped off Mauricio, Jax and I were faced with the task of returning my passed out Uncle Mason home to Uncle Hugo.
En route to my place on Walnut Cove, Jax and I were awkwardly alone together in the car. My uncle’s presence didn’t really count given his current state. I tried to keep a steady gaze out the window. Maybe Jax wouldn’t say anything.
“You forgot your best friend’s birthday,” he said. “How do you feel about that?”
“Like a real winner,” I said, slouching lower in my seat. It was naive to think my attitude would dissuade him from confrontation. But give me a break. I was still high.
“Can’t you be serious for once?” He fumed, taking a hand off the wheel. “You’re scaring us, and somehow that’s funny?” He slowly stopped at a red light, waiting for my response. The thing was, I didn’t have one. Yes, I was tapping out of reality. Yes, I was forgetting and neglecting important parts of life. But I just couldn’t help it. I felt things in Nightworld that I hadn’t felt in real life for a long time: powerful, useful, hopeful. There’s no way Jax would understand. Even if he spent more than two seconds listening to me.
He pulled into my driveway and shut off the car. Uncle Hugo had left the garage light on for me. Its glow spanned across the pavement. Before I unbuckled my seatbelt, a mob of spandex-clad yogis emerged from the front porch. Uncle Hugo tapped on Jax’s window, so he rolled it down.
“Clover called us,” he said. “We can take Mason inside.” When Jax unlocked the back door, yogis hoisted the hulking man into the house, teetering along the way and almost dropping him into a rosebush. Uncle Hugo waved at us from the steps. “Come inside if you two are hungry. There’s roasted cabbage.” Looks like I also forgot about the monthly yoga social. For the love of beet juice. Was there anything that I could remember?
Without a word I pulled on the door handle. But it was locked. I turned to Jax, who had tightened both grips on the steering wheel. He spoke to the floor. “Aren’t we enough?” He whispered. “Why aren’t we enough for you?”
“Open the door Jax,” I demanded, striking the handle with a clumsy fist. If I only had my light powers right now. I could set this thing on fire. But the truth was, I didn’t. That was my other self. My other life. The one I would rather be in right now, and maybe I wanted to be there most of the time. Couldn’t this guy just leave me alone and let me hide in a fantasy? I heard a click and this time the car door swung open for me. I jumped out, with Jax close behind.
“Do you love him?” I whirled around in bewilderment. With steely eyes, he repeated himself. “I asked if you love him. The guy in your dreams.” Was this a serious question? Me? In love with the Czar? No, I was supposed to use him. It didn’t matter if he was sweet or caring or supportive. It didn’t matter if he rescued or listened to me. I was supposed to deceive him. I couldn’t allow myself to have those feelings. So why did I… still feel them?
Jax timidly took my hand and placed it against his chest. The thump of his heartbeat transferred warmly to my palm. With his free hand, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “This is real,” he said, fingertips grazing my cheek. “I’m real. And he’s not.” For some reason, the words stung me. I mean, Renezen was a Waker, and real somewhere. Right? Then, like at Silver Heights, he took an intimate step closer, yet again, setting the scene for a kiss. It seemed more contrived this time though, as if he were trying to win me over.
With my gaze lowered, I noticed that our long shadows had consumed a chunk of pavement light. For some odd reason, this fascinated me. But then I remembered that I was stoned. Perhaps not the greatest time to come on to a woman. Nevertheless, Jax was my oldest friend. One of my very best friends. Yes we fought and seldom saw eye to eye. But somehow we managed to stay close all these years.
When Jax lowered his mouth to my level, he appeared as a dark shadow, with only one eye discernable. The sound of waterfalls became so vivid in my mind, I could almost feel the mist on my face. That was the man I wanted to kiss. The man whose face I’d never seen.
When the moment passed, I realized that Jax was not Renezen. With a firm hand, I guided Jax back by the chest. At first he appeared perplexed. Like he never considered my not wanting him. Then his expression hardened, and he backed up to the car with a taut jaw. “It’s time to wake up Lava,” he said. “And to stay awake.”
“You’re just jealous,” I said, turning my back to him. Why in the world was I acting like this? Why was I so defensive? It was just that his assertions against Renezen felt like a personal attack. With impressive speed, Jax beat me to the porch steps, blocking off my path, clearly incensed.
“Jealous?” He scoffed. “News flash— the real version of this guy is not the same as your fantasy.” I pressed both hands to my ears and scrunched my eyes shut. Of course I knew what he said was true. But hearing it out loud made my whole body ache. “Tell me, Lava,” Jax took a step closer to me. “If you two never meet in real life, can you have a future together?” He didn’t wait for my response. Jax returned coolly to his car, rapping the keys on the hood while making his way to the driver’s seat.
After he drove off, I numbly sat down on the porch steps. This was the first time the stars appeared dim to me. They just couldn’t compare to the ones in Nightworld. As was the case for most things lately. Wrapping my jacket tighter around my waist, I started crying. How exactly did this happen? Somehow, I had given my whole heart to a dream.
Chapter 21
***
I didn’t get to Awaken early this time. Within seconds of putting on my clothes, guards arrived to escort me to the throne room. I was left standing in front of the Czar, who was sitting on his blac
k coral. I bent forward into a bow, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on my nervousness. Do you love him?
“Do you remember our initial agreement?” He asked, waiting for my head nod. “All right then. Since you have completed your training, you are now ready to undertake my task. If you succeed, you may collect your trinket and leave Seawall.” Wide-eyed, I looked up at him, pained that he could say this so easily. But then again, wasn’t that what I wanted from the beginning? To leave this place. Whatever the case, I couldn’t go before finding Nez.
“I understand,” I said. “What do I have to do?”
The Czar lowered his gaze. “Collect an egg,” he said. “From the bottom of the sea. And bring it back to me.” This couldn’t be as simple as it sounded.
I approached the throne and propped my elbows up on his armrest. “What’s the catch?”
The Czar still avoided looking at me. “The eggs are guarded,” he said. “You must fight their mother.” Something wasn’t adding up.
I leaned into his space, giving him no choice but to meet my eyes. “Nez has the best advantage for this job, not me,” I reasoned. “Light travels slower in water and water can’t be burned.” My fingers itched to take off that mask. Only then could I tell what he was thinking. “Your training didn’t prepare me for this.” The Czar shifted in his seat, drumming his fingers along the other armrest.
“I never said it would,” he said coolly. “Go change. I’ll meet you by the outer gate.” After he dismounted the throne, a man walked in. He was outfitted in leaves and wearing tie-up sandals. His sunglasses and spiderwebbed face markings looked awfully familiar.
“Jasper,” I whispered as he approached us. He regarded me with interest before turning to the Czar.
“I’ll need those supplies before leaving,” he said, arms crossed. “Sire.” The Czar glanced at me before disappearing into the back room. He returned with a handful of unusual weapons. Jasper eagerly placed them in his shoulder bag. “These will do. And I’ll take a few of my siblings along. For entertainment.” With a wry grin, he placed an arm around my back. “Let’s show her their nest.” The Czar quickly pulled me away from him. To my horror, my eyes lit up from his touch.
He stepped closer to Jasper, rigid and a few inches taller. “She’s preparing for a mission now.”
Jasper appeared amused by his reaction. “My my, I haven’t seen you this protective before,” he said. “Have you fallen for your doll?” The Czar clenched a fist. Jasper fed off of his edginess. “You like playing house, don’t you? Just remember, when the game ends you’ll lose her.” The Czar didn’t move as Jasper walked out. I went over and placed a hand on his fist.
“What’s he talking about?” I asked. A nest? Jasper leaving with supplies and an army of sorts?
The Czar shrugged free from my touch. “I’ll meet you at the outer gates,” he muttered, stalking off to the back room. I was left in the company of transparent walls. No hiding, no lies beyond the glass. If only people could be this way.
The sea looked a little stormier than usual. Ploos was bobbing up and down in the large waves. The Czar’s cloak was flapping noisily beside me. His mannerisms hadn’t changed since the throne room. Did I expect them to? Without a second glance at him, I waded into the water and lit up with all my strength. Then I swam into the bottommost depths. Though the creatures down here were bioluminescent, it was beyond eerie. A dark fog consumed the spaces all around me. And that sweet womanly voice seemed more charming than before. I had to pinch myself multiple times to stay lucid.
When I projected my light to the sandy floor, there were several of them: small oval eggs. I lifted the smallest one into my hands. It was white and silver-speckled. Well. That wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be. When I turned around, my breath halted. Laying before me, seemingly asleep, was a two-headed mosquito. Though smaller than the ones at KuKave, it was still freakishly big. Three or four more were sleeping beside it. Then I remembered something Nez had said after the KuKave attack. About Wakers being dropped into the sea. To feed spawn developing on the seafloor. Oh holy horseradish.
One of the baby Squits lazily opened its eyes. At the sight of me, it bared its teeth and rocketed in my direction. I latched onto a bull shark and took off with it. Unfortunately the rest of the Squit family woke up from the commotion. Their low wailing echoed through the water as they chased us. No matter how brightly I lit up, the creatures weren’t deterred. There was nothing I could do to protect us. This was cat and mouse.
Then the Squits dispersed. The shark and I were left nonplussed, until a soft humming filled the silence. A woman’s face was shaped from the water before us, a larger version of the ones I had seen before. Hello Sea Mistress. The one who killed Tash, and probably many others. She must also be the mother-master of the Squits. So clearly I made it to boss level.
She reached for me with clawed fingers and I was knocked off the shark. The egg dropped into the darkness below. It was game over; if the whole ocean was this woman’s body, there was nothing I could do to challenge her. Careening downwards, I released one more burst of light, hoping for a miracle.
As she surrounded me, a chunk of sandy earth shot upwards and impaled her liquid arm. When she tried again with the other arm, another sand mound rose to interfere. To my amazement, a small sand fortress built itself around me, barring away the Sea Mistress. She shrieked in protest, pounding on the sand wall. I swallowed and covered my ears. This was terrific and all, but I still couldn’t escape.
Then someone pressed the pause button. Every creature just stopped. Even the Sea Mistress was frozen in place, resembling a terrifying sculpture. Gold ribbons branched throughout the sea, expanding as a vast system of arteries. Overhead, the ribbons encircled a tunnel of freely moving water. It was a path he made for me. I just knew it.
Struggling to keep my light turned on, I swam to the surface. Gentle arms lifted me from the water and helped me to land. Nez knelt beside me, golden eye aglow. He looked both concerned and relieved. “Are you all right?” He asked, scanning my arms and legs. I embraced him tightly. Wow, was it good to see him.
“No,” I said. “No one’s ever all right.” To my surprise, he hugged me back. Though this was the first time, his arms felt familiar somehow. I almost wanted to stay in them.
A mighty thwack to my back broke up the moment. Jeba pointed her stick inches from my nose. Queen Piria flew up and perched on her thumb. This was quite the reunion if I ever saw one. “We’ve gotta move, Tuppa,” she said, pulling me into standing. Jeba unfolded my trembling fingers. I almost didn’t believe it: I was holding onto an egg. But that was impossible. Unless the sand… gave it back to me? I shook my head, and my whole body followed suit. Nez steadied me while Jeba saved the egg from falling.
“You take her from here,” he nodded at Jeba. Then they traded me and the egg. Jeba guided me towards the castle, Queen Piria buzzing beside us. While the wind picked up, the waves began crashing loudly on the rocks. The sea’s gold lace was slowly receding. I looked back at Nez, who was watching me leave. He had saved me; so why did he seem so sad?
When Queen Piria led us back to my bedchambers, she found the blackout serum in my cloak pocket. She dropped it into my palm. I sat on the bed with Jeba for a few minutes, catching my breath.“The Czar’s raiders have hit Skyplume,” Jeba said. “Jasper was leading them. And he Bound Quanita.” My eyes grew and I turned to Queen Piria. Her wings were drooping.
“Zomeone ztole Zeph’s zalves,” she said. “It iz why I ztopped viziting, zo much zearching! And ztill nothing.” She flitted to the glass vial in my hand and tapped it with her feet. “Now we can only releaz the hoztages. They’re pazt that ztairwell.” Without hesitation, I downed the serum and grabbed the Enzlo Gem. I also pocketed Hakim’s slingshot. If there was any time that I had to be useful, it was right now.
Concealed by blackout powers, we ascended the hidden stairwell in the South Tower. The steps were as transparent as the walls. But when we reached the landing at
the top, the aesthetics of the palace vanished. Instead, we were inside of a rocky dungeon space. The cells held bug-like creatures, some large and others small. They were crying, screaming, or clattering their bars. At first, I didn’t understand what I was seeing. But then I noticed their clasps, their tattered clothing. One of the guards dabbed his weapon in red solution, and then speared the creature nearest to him. Its voice was creepily human.
“Please stop,” it begged, dropping to all fours. “I don’t want to be a monster!” Leg-like projections grew violently from its abdomen and the creature writhed on the floor. My knees were buckling just from watching. So this was the fate of Bound Wakers: to transform into Squits. Queen Piria stung me on the forearm, jolting me out of my shock. Jeba nodded towards the guards. Okay. Focus. How could I best be useful?
Probably by turning into a pyromaniac. While Jeba took on the guards, I scorched the cell bars beyond melting point. And for the first time, the self-generated fires extinguished at my will. Renezen would have to make better use of his water buckets now. My body tensed at the thought of him. That was the same man who just sent me on a suicide mission.
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