by Ashley John
A spotlight suddenly landed on them, blinding Caden. Ellie seemed to be expecting it, because she squinted into the light, reflecting her mother’s grin as she clapped her hands with the rest of the crowd. It was so fake that it almost sickened Caden.
“As long as you’re here, protecting our town, I’ll make sure I’m in office, protecting you.”
The crowd roared even louder and Caden was sure this time that she made direct eye contact with him as she delivered that final line. It felt like a warning, telling him that she wasn’t going anywhere and he would be a fool to push her.
Swallowing the growing lump in his throat, he found himself clapping along with the chorus as sweat trickled down the sides of his burning face.
***
When his mom finished her speech, the transformation was almost immediate. Everybody stood and the real mingling began as the waiters vanished with the tables and chairs. The lights dropped, being replaced by glitter balls and strobe lights as the music cranked up. Everybody looked ready to party but Elias felt ready to get out of there.
“This really isn’t my thing,” he muttered out of the corner of his mouth to Ellie.
“One hour,” she smiled as she waved at somebody across the room, “there’s a couple people I need to talk to.”
Ellie thrust herself deep into the crowd, laughing and joking with people she seemed to know, leaving Caden and Elias to awkwardly stand where their table and seats had been only a couple of minutes ago.
The music was making him feel sick and he hadn’t even touched the wine that had been topped up over and over until it was almost spilling over the edge. He only had a couple of days to go until his drug test and he didn’t want a stitch of anything to show up in his system.
Just when he thought he couldn’t feel anymore uncomfortable, he caught a glimpse of a pompous black gown floating through the crowd in his direction. He turned, hoping she was heading toward Ellie but she had her back to them. Turning to Caden, he mouthed a desperate ‘help’ but Caden looked just as terrified of her.
“Elias,” she nodded, the fake smile still plastered across her face.
“Mayor,” Elias sucked the air through his teeth, “nice dress.”
Her smile tightened as she looked down at her dress, unable to tell if it was a genuine compliment or a backhanded insult.
“What are you doing here?” she directed this question at both of them.
“I was invited,” Elias stood up straight, “we both were.”
“By your sister, I assume?”
“Yep,” Elias backed away, “if you’ll excuse me, I need to -,”
Before Elias could back away, thick and sharp claws tightened around his scrawny bicep, digging straight through the expensive suit jacket.
“Don’t walk away from me,” she snarled through her red-lipped smile, “I don’t know why you’re here but you need to leave. If you’re trying to mess things up for me, I suggest you -,”
“For once, it’s not about you,” Elias laughed, shrugging his arm away, “I came for Ellie. You probably haven’t heard but her and John are splitting up.”
Her face didn’t falter but he could tell by the flickering in her eyes that she didn’t know and she was trying to work out why Ellie hadn’t told her. For once, her all seeing eye had failed her.
“Since when have you and Ellie been so close?” she arched a fine brow.
“Caden helped us see the error of our ways,” he said sarcastically.
“Caden?” his mother smirked, pleased with herself, “You mean you’re still seeing this man after he was so unceremoniously fired?”
Feeling like he had just landed Caden even further in it, he edged closer to his lover so that their shoulders were touching. He wanted to wrap his fingers through Caden’s, but he resisted, not sure if that was the best decision.
“Give it up,” said Elias, “leave him alone. He’s done nothing wrong.”
“On the contrary,” her dark eyes shifted over Caden’s entire body, “I was informed that you were no longer working with my son.”
The words ‘my son’ sounded strained and foreign coming from her lips. The dislike was so strong, it was easy to forget that she had given birth to him.
“He’s not here as my support worker. He’s here with me.”
“With you?”
“Yes, with me,” Elias straightened up, “I need to find my sister because I’m not in the mood to party. Not anymore.”
Elias turned, grabbing Caden’s hand in the process. He didn’t care what she knew now. He loved Caden and he didn’t care who knew it. When you’ve stooped as low as she had, trying to cast Caden out of her bubble, there wasn’t much wriggle room to go any lower. Elias told Ellie that they were leaving and before she could argue, he dragged Caden towards the doors. He darted up the few steps that led up to the corridor, which led to the exit and to freedom.
“Wait up,” Ellie called after him, “what’s happened?”
Without stopping, Elias told her that nothing had happened, he was being preemptive before his mother could strike again. When Ellie told him that he was overacting over nothing, he stopped, Caden still by his side, silent, probably from the fear of what else could be done to him. Maybe I shouldn’t have come after all.
“I just want to take these clothes off and go to sleep,” Elias tugged at the tux, suddenly feeling like it was suffocating him, “tonight’s been great. Thanks for the invite.”
“Elias, I -,” Ellie sighed, giving up halfway, “see you later.”
Grateful for the permission to get out of there, Elias pulled Caden towards the door but when he heard his name bellowing down the corridor, they both stopped in their tracks, turning to see the mayor gliding effortlessly down the corridor. Her dress was floating behind her and she had a look of contained fury in her eyes that could make a weaker man melt if he didn’t know her like Elias did. He was sure he felt Caden melting in his palm.
“Don’t you dare leave,” she extended a finger, freezing him to the spot, “you’ve got some explaining to do.”
“I don’t need to explain anything to you,” he tossed his hands out, letting go of Caden’s, “you’re nothing.”
“I’m your mother,” she growled, looking around her as the people passing up and down the corridor stopped to see what was going on between the mayor and two strange men.
“No, you’re not,” he laughed, “you just happened to have twins. I was your curse, your punishment.”
Her lips became a thin slit, her entire jaw tightening, ready to unleash whatever poison she had been storing up.
“If you’re my punishment, I want to know what I did to deserve a child like you.”
“Anybody would be lucky to have a son like Elias,” Caden spoke up, “you’re just blinded by your own self importance.”
“You,” she laughed in Caden’s face, “why are you even here? What do you want with my son? Money? Is that what you want?”
Elias felt Caden falter on the spot but he wasn’t going to let her talk to him like that. Caden had been more of a family to Elias over the last weeks than she had ever in his whole life. Caden had given him more love and made him feel more wanted than she had ever. The void he had always been looking to fill was suddenly filled and there was no way he was going to deny that.
“We’re together,” Elias looped his fingers through Caden’s shaking digits, “we’re in love.”
Judy James looked ready to spit her poison straight in his face as a wretched smirk twisted across her blood stained lips. In disbelief, she darted between them, trying to figure out if it was a sick joke.
“Are you trying to ruin me?” she leaned in, “Why are you always trying to destroy me?”
“You really think this is about you?”
“Who else is it about? The drugs, the crime and now this. You just want to embarrass me. You want me to react. You’ve always been the same way.”
“Maybe if I had a mother who cared for me,
I wouldn’t have needed a reaction,” Elias tightened his grip on Caden’s hand, “this isn’t about you. This is about me, for once.”
“It’s always been about you,” her voice deepened, “and your childish little problems. Grow up and join the real world. Without my support, you would be dead.”
She was probably right, but alive, at least she could attempt to manipulate and shape his life to keep him in her shadow.
“Support? You throw me in rehab every chance you get and then you push me to the side, hoping your money will fix the problem.”
“I’m a busy -,”
“Yeah, a busy woman. I know. You should get that tattooed on your forehead like a catchphrase. It’s all I’ve heard from you since I was a fetus. ‘I’m a busy woman. Too busy to be your mother. Too busy to really help you. Too busy to love you. Too busy to give a fuck’. I’m over it. I don’t need you and I never have. I thought that maybe, just maybe, you’d see that you’re the problem and you always have been but that would mean pulling your botoxed head out of your own ass and that was never going to happen, was it mayor?”
By now, the crowd had thickened but they were all so deep in the moment, they weren’t noticing the dramatic gasps and questions as the drama unfolded.
“You’ll regret that,” she spat.
“Do your worst,” falling back on his heels, he tossed his hands out, “you can’t possibly bury me any further, can you? Do your absolute worst, Madame Mayor. I don’t care anymore. Take the apartment. Cut off my welfare checks. Throw me in rehab and lock away the key. I’m done with your games. You win.”
“This isn’t a game.”
“It’s always been a game,” Elias lowered his voice, heartbreak filling his cracking voice, “you’re a terrible mother and you always will be.”
Elias couldn’t stick around to see the aftermath of the bomb he had just thrown. The second he felt tears starting to sting his eyes, he had to run as far away from her as he could. He ran out into the street, across the road and into the park opposite the Nova Theatre. The air was thick and stuffy and it wasn’t helping the tightening in his chest. Collapsing on a bench, he felt angry with himself for the tears he couldn’t stop falling down his cheeks. He wasn’t crying because he was upset, he was crying because he was frustrated. Twenty-six years of built up frustration poured through his tear ducts and he couldn’t stop them.
“Elias,” Caden ran towards him, “Elias, are you okay?”
“No,” he cried out, “I’m not okay. I’m angry. I just want to -,”
Screaming out, his fist collided with the wooden bench but all it did was hurt the knuckles that were still hurting from punching the side of Caden’s house. He hated himself for getting so wound up over her.
“I’m so proud of you,” Caden’s hand slid over his shoulders, pulling him in to his warm body, “you should have seen her face. She looked genuinely shocked. I’ve never seen it like that before.”
“I don’t care.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“Because I was the one who was trying to push you two together. I was wrong. I was so wrong. There’s no saving that woman. She’s as deep into her own hole as she can be.”
He knew Caden was trying to make him feel better but it was only making him feel worse. Shrugging away Caden’s hug, he stood up, staring up at the dark, cloudy sky. He searched for the moon, even some stars, but it was completely blank.
“I just don’t understand her,” he wiped away the slowing tears, “and I don’t understand why she always gets to me. I wish I was as strong as Ellie, but I’m not. Every time she’d do something like this, I’d have drugs to fall back on. Now what do I have? I just want to make it all stop.”
“You have me.”
Caden stood and immediately drew Elias into a kiss. The noise, the anger, the frustration and the tears stopped. He felt like an idiot for letting the hatred blind how important Caden was to him.
“I know,” Elias leaned his forehead against Caden’s, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. There are some cabs lined up outside the theatre. How does crawling into a bed with a movie sound?”
It sounded like the only place Elias wanted to be.
A knock on the door woke Caden from his deep sleep. Rolling over, he peered into the dark, unsure if it was day or night. Elias was by his side, stirring from what looked like a lighter, more restless sleep.
“What time is it?” Caden’s voice croaked.
“Half past ten,” Elias squinted at his cell display, “I’ll get it.”
Elias pulled the first clothes he could find over his naked body, leaving Caden to roll back over into his pillow. His eyelids fluttered and he noticed how easy and quick it would be for him to fall back asleep. He flirted with the idea for a moment but he decided to pull himself out of bed, not wanting to waste the day wallowing.
Caden ran his hands over his scruff, noting that he needed a shave. His light hair was a little longer on top than usual but he hadn’t had much time to fit in a haircut. After a quick spray of deodorant, he climbed into his jeans and a baggy white t-shirt. He rescued his phone from the wreckage of the clothes that had been torn off the night before and was instantly alarmed by the amount of missed calls from his mom, twelve in total, all from the last hour.
“I think I need to head home. Something’s up,” Caden stretched out, scratching his chest through his t-shirt as he wandered out of the bedroom, the sleep disappearing from his mind.
Elias was clutching a newspaper to his chest in the middle of the living room, his eyes wide and surprised to see Caden.
“Sure,” Elias nodded.
“Since when do you get the paper?”
“I don’t,” he answered a little too quickly, “it must be a mistake. The mailman dropped it off with my mail.”
“He hand delivered it?”
“My mailbox is full.”
“Right.”
Caden stared at the back of the newspaper, the sports pages of no interest to him. Elias was acting weird and it was as though he couldn’t wait to get rid of Caden. Maybe the time had come that Caden had overstayed his welcome?
“I’ll throw this out,” Elias hurried past him, tossing it in the trashcan.
He didn’t just stop there, he pulled out the half empty bag and tied it up. He clutched the trash bag in his fist like a prized possession. Elias usually waited until the trash was overflowing before he changed it.
“What’s up?” Caden folded his arms, “You’re acting all spacey.”
“I’m fine, just tired!” Elias grabbed the kettle, “Coffee?”
“I should go and see what she wants. I put my cell on silent before the ball last night and I forgot to turn it back on. Is this about last night and your mom?”
“Yes!” Elias nodded, “That’s exactly what it is. It’s still on my mind. You should go if you’re mom is looking for you.”
Elias practically pushed Caden out of the door so fast he barely had time to grab some socks and shoes. Putting it down to delayed insanity from the shock of finally confronting his mother, Caden kissed Elias on the cheek before heading home. Now that they were nearing the end of September, the air was clear and still but there was an early morning ice in the air, making Caden wish he had grabbed a jacket before leaving. He looked down at his t-shirt, his nipples cutting through the fabric, right next to what looked like a coffee stain. He looked every inch of the unemployed loser that he felt these days.
When he got to his parents’, there was no ambulance or cop car outside, so he calmed down a little. The closer he got to the house, the more he had convinced himself that something fatal had happened but seeing how calm the house looked from the outside he knew his mom was probably just eager to tell him something. Maybe she heard about what happened at the doctor’s ball last night? Part of Caden hoped so because that meant the town would be talking about the mayor and maybe they’d start to doubt her picture per
fect veneer.
“It’s only me,” he called as he opened the door, “Mom? Dad?”
“Caden!” his mom appeared in the kitchen door, a manic smile on her face, “I’ve been calling you.”
“Sorry, my cell was on silent. What’s up? It’s not Granny, is it?” he suddenly remembered his granny in Portland and his heart stopped.
“Granny is fine. She’ll outlive us all.”
There was an uncomfortable quality to the way her smile beamed at him while her entire body blocked his view into the kitchen. Was somebody there? He tried to look around her but she reacted by bending like a character from The Matrix. Using her hands behind her back, she closed the kitchen door and hurried across the living room.
“Believe me when I say I tried to get him to leave.”
“Who? What’s happened?”
She looked over her shoulder to the kitchen door, a look of guilt taking over her face.
“He said he wasn’t going until he spoke to you. He was really persuasive.”
It didn’t take long for Caden to piece things together. When he figured out who was sitting at his mom’s kitchen table, he wanted to turn and go back to the safety of Elias’ apartment, no matter how strange he was acting.
“You’re kidding me?”
“Just let him say his piece and then he’ll go.”
Caden didn’t want to hear Finn’s piece. He didn’t want to help him move on and he didn’t want Finn to think he could worm his way back into his life by jumping on the interstate.
“Please, just talk to him,” she grabbed him when he tried to turn and leave, “just five minutes.”
Failing to see why his mother was even so invested in it, he still decided that he was going to give Finn five minutes of his time and no more. It would hopefully put an end to the endless stream of letters and that would be worth it. It’ll be like ripping off a Band-Aid.
Not in the mood for confrontation, Caden pushed a smile forward. It faltered when he saw his ex-boyfriend, or rather, ex-fiancé, sitting at his mother’s kitchen table, hugging a cup of coffee.