“Viktor, we will be in the territory for days, maybe as long as a week if the maps are right. You can’t stay awake that long without ending up half dead.”
“I can. If you let me.”
Oh, hell no! Is he serious?! Is he even thinking this through?! “Viktor, that’s so dangerous!”
My father sent him back with books as well. Despite Viktor’s file saying he is not the best student in the classroom, he has read and memorized everything that my father sent him. Elves, full-blooded ones, can go without sleep for weeks at a time before it messes with them. He wants to draw my Elvin half from me, giving him the endurance of someone three quarters Elvin. He will easily be able to go a week without sleep.
I will be in a coma. I will sleep for the both of us. Only a Kemp couple can do this kind of thing, it is usually during a siege or something, so the Kemp has more endurance than a normal Elf and can protect past the extent of normal ability. It is used so rarely because sometimes the charge doesn’t wake up; sometimes, the Kemp uses too much and then they can’t wake the charge afterwards without killing them.
“Viktor, we don’t even know if it’ll work right, me being only half and you being less. What if I don’t wake up from the coma?”
“You will. I won’t pull from you unless I need to. I can carry you and protect you if need be…”
“And when a group of thugs come along and steal my body while you are fighting a few of them, what then?”
In a siege, you can leave people to care for the charge while you protect. We are not in one of those situations.
“I will try a spell, but I won’t do that one unless I have no other choice and it is life or death anyway. We are better off being a team.”
I know he thinks he can just throw my pack over his shoulders and run straight through whilst carrying me, but I don’t think it’ll be that easy. He nods, but I can tell he doesn’t want me taking guard duty. For heaven’s sake, I have more magic than he does and I am more proficient. I can take care of myself. I appreciate Viktor choosing to follow me, but he doesn’t have to make me seem defenseless. I fought for my life and survived without his help. He has to stop thinking that I am made of glass.
I pick up the pace and grab his hand, squeezing. He looks at me, court-face in place. He wears the face in front of my uncle so that uncle can’t tell how close we really are. He never wears it when we are alone. I let go of his hand and look ahead. A gorge… great, that is like asking for trouble.
“Viktor, I trust you, but this journey won’t be that easy. You can’t just throw me over your shoulder, unconscious, and carry me there. This trip will need both of us to make it there alive and whole. Please, trust me.”
He sighs and nods. He still avoids looking at me and I can feel him try to smother his worry so I won’t sense it.
“Don’t worry; we can do anything when we’re together.”
“I know.”
He never lies to me, would never even consider it. Sure, he omits, but never lies. So, if that is not why he is worried…
“Viktor, why do you worry, if not for our safety?”
“I don’t want you to see me kill again.”
Ohhh. Poor Viktor. “Viktor, I don’t care what other people say. I’m not ashamed of what you did to the mermen, and I know if you have to kill to protect me, you will. I am not a normal human; I know death is part of being a Kemp. You kill to protect, it’s in the job description. Nothing you could do would bother me or make me think less of you.”
“Your aunt was disgusted as well. Or at least, afraid to think I had that much access to your power.”
I didn’t know that. She hadn’t said anything to me. In fact, she’d gone through a lot of hassle to get my room switched to one that had an attached room for Viktor. Explaining to the court had been fun, not, but she spent a lot of time and energy on it. Uncle refused to let Viktor near me, and aunt refused to listen to uncle.
“It’s supposed to take a long time and deep bond for you to be able to access my power. Besides, I wasn’t blocking you from doing so. I do now that we know you can do it.”
“She thinks I’m an abomination.”
“Everyone thinks the same about me. I have ceased letting what they think matter to me.”
Viktor
I look at Elainne. She cared before, when I first met her.
“What made you stop caring about how others felt about you?”
She shrugs, smiling at me.
“Viktor, the only person’s opinion that matters to me is yours.”
She adjusts her pack and swings an arm at the gorge we face. A nearly clear film spreads through the gorge; she shakes her head and sighs. A heavy gust of wind has rocks falling. We hear screaming and I look over at Elainne. She doesn’t look bothered by it. She is a fair ruler, she makes good decisions, and she lives for the people. How does she accept the death so easily?
“It’s because of you, Viktor. I know you doubt yourself. I can sense it. These men were going to ambush us. You could have been killed protecting me. If I have to kill them to stop that from happening, so be it.”
She dropsd her hand and starts walking. She worries about me, same as I worry about her. I run, catching up to her and matching her pace. She is right; I don’t have to sacrifice my humanity. I just have to decide what is more important. Their lives or hers. I will always choose her.
“I choose you.”
She smiles and nods, but keeps walking. We have to pick our way over rocks. I try to help her, but it turns out she is more sure-footed than I am. She is graceful, weaving her way over and around the boulders in her path. I am scrambling to keep up.
“Viktor, do you want me to carry your pack to while we go through the gorge?”
Over my dead body is she becoming a packhorse. I shake my head; she gives me a frustrated look and sighs, but continues. She stops, leans down, then quickly rises and wiping her hands on her pants. Blood. I hurry to catch up, trying not to trip on the uneven ground. She rushes from the spot she’d been standing once I catch up.
I look down. There is a person, or half of one, anyway. The boulder has crushed him, blood is splattered everywhere. His shoulders, neck, and head are not under the rock. She has closed his eyes. I walk around the blood as much as possible but can’t avoid it all. Oh well. They had nefarious plans for us; I guess they got what was coming to them. Still, I can feel her sorrow at the necessity. She doesn’t like to kill. It stains her soul, that’s why I exist. To do it for her. If I could have done the spell, I would have, to save her from having to feel the guilt.
“Elainne, wait up.”
I hurry after her and she slows her pace so that I can catch up.
“You are much better at this than I am.”
She shrugs, not looking at me.
“Every Elf has to be able to survive off the land, to go out and silently live for a time. Mother learned with me but didn’t have to pass the test. We both exceeded what my father expected from us. I passed with flying colors. It made him less ashamed of me, but no more accepting. I suppose, with my new-found magic, he thinks he can just push the human emotions out of me and make me an acceptable heir.”
“I can’t see anything pushing those emotions out of you.”
She smiles and nods her agreement.
“He would have to kill you, Viktor. I’m always emotional when you are involved.”
I want to ask what she means by that, because she lightly blushes and picks up her pace, but I don’t. I am not telling her everything, so she likely won’t feel the need to tell me everything either. I pick up my pace and manage to stay even with her, though I have more trouble getting around and through everything than she does.
“And killing you would lessen my appeal. No more Kemp. It would make me less Elfish and much less inclined to do anything but kill him back. I guess he is in a no win situation. He’s just too damn stubborn to figure it out.”
“You said before that you wouldn’t win a fight wi
th him.”
“No.”
She seems so nonchalant about dying. Does she really care so little for her life? Is she that unhappy?
“You wouldn’t be saddened by death?”
She shrugs.
“I would be saddened by your death, Viktor. Usually the Kemp bond only makes the Kemp need to be near the charge. I told you before, some kind of love was always involved, but it isn't exactly like that. They don’t have to like or even respect each other. Feelings don’t enter into it at all for the charge. The Kemp worries over the charges safety and only feels entirely comfortable when there to protect them, they love the feeling of protection that they give to one another. All other feelings are the feelings of the individuals themselves.”
Does she know about my dream? How much had she sensed from me while I slept? Does that mean my feelings for her are not that of a normal Kemp? Wanting to be near her all the time, even when I know she is safe, isn’t normal?
“So, do you think something is wrong with our bond?”
She blushes and avoids looking at me. I have stared her in the eyes a few too many times without permission. Now she can’t look at me. The irony of it doesn’t escape me.
“No. I think it’s us. Our feelings for one another make the bond… unusual. Very different from the usual bonds between a Kemp and charge.”
Well, neither of us are full blooded Elves, so maybe that is why. Perhaps our human parts are too strong to not intermingle. “Are we to human?”
“Yes. The Kemp bond is about protection, pure and simple. Elves can protect someone they dislike, can work with them, dine with them, and trust them with their lives. Their personal opinions don’t interfere with their opinions of the person’s abilities. Humans let emotions color everything they do. We are too human. The Kemp bond is different for us because we are human, and our opinion of the other person is colored with emotions.”
Mason would tell me I am insane and I would have to agree this time. I am stepping so far past inappropriate, I am about to punish myself.
Elainne
Viktor looks deep in thought. I have made us sound like lovers and I can feel myself blushing. He likely thinks me insane, I think myself insane. I trust Viktor; I always have, even before knowing him. That is the Kemp bond; even before linking we trusted the other with our life. I have also grown to respect his loyalty, his fierce and stubborn personality, his dedication.
We have become friends, but it seems to me after everything we have gone through that we have become something more. Not lovers, but we are in a weird limbo zone that I can’t really define. I am not likely to try either. I am not messing with something that works, and I have enough on my plate. So does Viktor. He will be meeting his family, if they still lived. Even if not, he will meet people that knew them.
“Are you nervous, Viktor? I mean, when we arrive you could…” I let my sentence run off. He will know what I mean. We often seem to know what the other is thinking, even if it is not something that our emotional sensors pick up.
“A bit.”
I nod, not pushing for more. I have gotten used to Viktor opening up to me, but when nervous he slips back into his habit of not saying much. His saying so little tells me more than the hoarseness of his voice or the clipped tone about how nervous he really is. Time to change the subject.
“So, where shall we stop for the night?”
“Is there a tree to climb?”
I look at him, unbelieving, until I see his face. He really wants to climb a tree to sleep.
“We can find one. Are you sure, it’s safe? You’ve been tossing and turning a lot in your sleep lately, Viktor.”
He shrugs.
“I won’t sleep right next to you so I won’t knock you out.”
That is not what I meant. “I don’t mean that. I just… well, if you have another nightmare and thrash…”
“I haven’t since you increased the power put into the dream spell.”
Since we’ve been on the road, it is true, he hasn’t had a nightmare, but I am on the verge of freaking out here. What if this is the one time that he does? We will be high enough in the tree that no one will see us from the ground, so it will be a long fall and rough landing.
“I can spell you up… sort of.”
“If you put a spell on me to keep me in place you will get the negative effects as well, and won’t be able to move. If we need self-defense, it won’t work. I’ll take my chances.”
“That’s not what I planned to do.”
I try to avoid looking at him. What will he see if I say I am going to tether him to me? If he starts to go down, the magic rope will catch him, and he can’t go down without me.
“I don’t get it.”
I nod. “I will show you when we find a tree.”
It is a smart idea. If someone comes after our stuff and us, they will have to bumble up and we will have time to call upon our magic to defend ourselves. I am putting up a barrier spell, so if anyone tries to get within ten feet it will break his or her kneecaps, or something equally unnerving. Pain tends to make people rethink their actions.
I am not telling Viktor, he won’t approve. He is the Kemp, he has to protect us. However, for now, he cannot not use his magic. So, when it comes to physical fighting, he can protect while I defend. Magically, I am the sword and he is the backup. It can sting all he wants it to, but that is the way it is.
“Why? Are you thinking about doing something I won’t approve of?”
Damn those emotional sensors! I can pick up if he has a strong feeling of pain, anger, or fear. Things like that. He can notice most things that are not a completely positive emotion.
“I’m not.”
He grabs my wrist, stopping me. I know he won’t hurt me, he won’t squeeze hard enough and if I continue to walk he will let go, but for some reason I can’t lie to him anymore than he can to me. Obviously, or I would have hid my feelings; been more assertive and less obvious in my denial.
“I’m putting up a defensive barrier spell once we are settled. It won’t hurt us if we do fall, but anyone else will get blown kneecaps.”
He sighs and moves his hand so that we are holding hands. He is far too comforted by my touch, and I his.
“You know, I’m supposed to protect you.”
Ugh, men! “Viktor, I appreciate everything you do, but I'm not helpless. Maybe before I had all of my magic I was a bit more helpless, but even then, I was proficient enough with a staff to beat half the human military in a one-on-one battle, or even two against me alone. Now I have more magic as well. I don’t need you to protect me as if I’m fragile. I'm not made of glass.”
He wrenches his hand from mine and walks forward, his face as angry as can be. Ugh, great, now I have hurt his pride. I run after him, ready to smack him for being so annoying.
“Viktor, I’m sorry if I hurt your pride, but…”
He stops walking and glares at me. No, wonder the mermen had feared fighting him on the battlefield, with a look like that. Still, I know he won’t hurt me. I trust in him and the bond that we share.
“It’s not my pride, Elainne! I’m your Kemp! My job, my whole reason for existing, is to keep you safe, not the other way around, or you would be a Kemp! You know this. You are always saying you aren’t like the humans who don’t get it, and I know that’s true, but you are acting it!”
“Viktor…”
“You don’t get it! I’m supposed to be your sword and shield, Elainne! I put the scars on my soul so you don’t have to!”
He walks off in a huff and I sigh. I have put my foot in it this time. Viktor accepts that he might have to kill, but he doesn’t like me having to do it. He knows how much it bothers me, necessary or not. He is willing to scar his soul as much as needed so I won’t have to. It is incredibly brave and sweet. Stupid as hell, but still.
I run to catch up and stop just behind him, leaning down and touching the earth. I jump back as the tree I summon from the ground grows and grows
. Perfect for climbing, thick hammock like branches, wonderful for sleeping on. It is everything we could ask for in a tree. I start to climb, not waiting for him. He is frustrated, annoyed, and likely rethinking his promise to stay with me. I don’t blame him.
When I find a comfortable hammock of branches that won’t bend or break, I throw a spell at him. He would have protested if I asked first. It is the tethering spell. He flies up and lands right next to me. He doesn’t even hit any branches on the way up. I smile. I saved him quite the climb, maybe it will be a start.
“I was climbing fine, you know. I’m not Elvin; trees aren’t my kin, so I wasn’t going as fast as you; I still could have done it on my own.”
I smile and lean against the trunk.
“I know, Viktor. I was just trying to make things easier. Don’t worry about falling. If you toss off you’ll just float back to me. While I'm sleeping, I can’t promise you won’t hit any branches coming back in, though.”
“Nifty spell.”
He is still mad. Well, I will try something else in the morning. He pulls out our blankets and leaves his pack next to mine, on another thick hammock of branches. He tosses me mine and I wrap myself. He leans against the tree’s trunk, sitting next to me, but a chasm remains between us. I sigh. I can’t sleep like this.
I lean against his stiff shoulder and hug his arm. He is not comforted like he usually is.
“I don’t want you to have to stain your soul for me, Viktor. It’s not fair, you sacrificing everything for me. I don’t want to be useless like other charges, ordering you around and controlling your life.”
“Then let me decide what I am willing to do and not do for you.”
He is right. I nod, head still on his shoulder. He sighs and the tension leaves him. He moves, putting his arm around me and I snuggle closer to his warmth. Fall is cool in the mountains. He covers us with his blanket and leans his head back.
“Alright, Viktor. But please don’t do anything you wouldn’t have done before becoming a Kemp. I don’t want to be the reason your soul is stained.”
He doesn’t answer with words; he just hugs me with the arm that is around me. I close my eyes and let myself drift to sleep after I set the barrier spell. I hope he will sleep as well.
Kemp Page 2