She blushes as she stammers, trying to find the right words to say. I am holding in laughter and my grandfather looks to be doing the same. We burst at about the same time and I see a flash of annoyance on her face at being picked on when she is trying so hard to explain, until she shockingly realizes that I laugh as well. She smiles and shrugs. Giving up and walking into the room, muttering about males in general and being able to tell that we are related. My grandfather walks into his kitchen and I join Elainne in the room, trying to hold back my laughter.
“Viktor, I know I said to bond with grandpa, but honestly, must it be over my inability to explain our bond?”
I chuckle and put our packs in the corner.
“Sorry. Usually you are so good with words. It was funny to see you flounder with it for once. I often feel you would have been better off with a different Kemp. I am so terrible at all the political stuff.”
She comes over, hugging me and laughs.
“Silly Viktor. I don’t want you to be political. I have to deal with it from everyone else. No, I like you just the way you are.”
She pulls back and starts to unpack our bags.
“I am also glad to see you will be able to get along with your grandpa. I was stunned to silence seeing you both laugh. You looked so very alike at that moment. Almost like looking into the future. I wonder how old he is. He likely has a couple hundred years to go.”
“Why does he get hundreds of years, my grandmother gets unlimited years unless she gets killed, and I get eighty all together? At best.”
She loses her good humor and stiffens at my words. I feel bad for letting my annoyance and anger get the best of me. She flinches, feeling how strongly and negatively I feel about it. It is not fair to burden her with it but I can’t stop myself. I am selfish; I want to protect her forever.
“I’m sorry, Viktor. If you had never met me, if I had never bonded with you, you would be happy with a normal human life span. You wouldn’t want more, or care. This is my fault.”
She gets up and leaves the room, shutting the bedroom door behind her so I know not to follow. It is not her fault. Fate is not something you can fight. It is destiny that we found one another and we can’t back out now. Making her feel guilty for giving my life purpose makes me feel terrible. I sit on the bed and fall back. I will give her a few moments before I go for her. She needs to be alone. Unfortunately, solitude is not something I can let her have for long… not here.
Elainne
Once outside, I wish for the chance to end up back in the cave with the dragon asking what wish we want. I would have wished to take it all back, to let Viktor have a chance at a normal human life, not tied to me. I am the worst person in the world for him to be connected to. If I hadn’t gotten more magic, I wouldn’t have had to worry about my father trying to trick me into being his heir now.
Viktor wouldn’t be here revisiting his mother’s death, trying to learn control, in danger from my uncle back home. He could be a good soldier, get married, and have a family. It makes me sad thinking about never knowing him, but it would’ve be the best for him. Knowing him has so far been my greatest pleasure in life even if I have almost died a few times. I would give it all up to make him happy though. He is not happy now.
“Elainne.”
I don’t turn, just let the tears fall while looking at the waterfall. In the absence of woods, I am turning to the next obvious element, the connection of earth and water. It is relaxing but not as much as sitting in a tree would have been.
“I didn’t mean to take it out on you. It’s not your fault if you end up long-lived. It doesn’t matter how long I have, I want to spend it with you. I want to be the one to protect you always. I can’t imagine dying and leaving you with others to protect you.”
“I won’t need protection once you die, Viktor. I will disappear. Just wander. I can use my magic to protect myself. I don’t want another guard, ever.”
Viktor
I go up behind her and put an arm around her. Her hands clutch my arm as she leans back. I support part of her weight as we take comfort from the other’s presence.
“I think that’s worse. Leaving you entirely unprotected.”
“You needn’t worry, Viktor. It won’t matter. Once you are gone… well, it doesn’t matter. I won’t live forever.”
“You could.”
“I won’t.”
She seems so sure. I tense as I get her meaning. She pulls away and sighs, waiting for the lecture she knows that I am going to give her.
“Elainne, don’t talk like that.”
“It’s not like you can stop me from doing something stupid if you are dead.”
“Promise me.”
“I’ll think about it.”
I am not sure if she is lying or not, but I can’t stand the thought of her doing that. I pull her back, both arms going around her this time. She should smack me away for being too familiar, but she doesn’t. She never shoves me away, even when we argue. As always, we both relax, being so close to the other.
Chapter Five
Elainne
The next morning I awake ready for the day. Viktor will begin lessons today. I am unsure what I am to do while he practices, but I am not going to nitpick. Even if all I am allowed to do is sit around, I can clean the place up and meditate. We are here for Viktor. I will be as patient as I have to be.
I walk outside, looking for anyone awake. Viktor’s grandfather is chopping wood by hand. Odd, I’d have thought he do it with his magic.
“Good morning, sir.”
He smiles at me and drops the axe, wiping his brow with a cloth that I hand him.
“Good morning. Viktor is still asleep?”
“I spelled him weeks before losing my magic; it’s a continuous spell to help him sleep. He holds my magic, so the spell will continue to feed off it until I take it back and unspell him. He tends to start fires when he has nightmares and he feels my anxiety so much. He almost burnt the castle down around him. He will wake well rested.”
I am hoping grandpa here won’t tell him either.
“Does he approve?”
I sigh. Uh-oh. “He knows about the spell to keep bad dreams away, but not that I have altered it a bit to make him more sleep inclined when he needs rest. He’s too stubborn to think of his own health so I must do it for him.”
“He is too busy looking out for your health. He fought for you when the mages went for him.”
It could be a statement or a question, but either way I nod. “He takes being my Kemp very seriously.”
“He is a very serious lad. His calling suits him. As do you. I can tell you are good for him.”
I smile and shrug, but am relieved that he approves of Viktor being with me. As my Kemp. “He’s good for me as well. He… inspires me.”
He gives me a knowing smile and laughs at my blush.
“And you are in love with him.”
“I… I mean I appreciate Viktor and I respect him. He is a good man and a great Kemp but I… I mean…”
He laughs again and picks up the axe, going at the wood again.
“Listen, I know you are a princess in most countries you visit and he is not of royal blood, but trust me when I say love doesn’t really care what station someone is or even what nationality they are. If you love someone, you love them.”
“If I allow myself to love him… when he dies, it will hurt too much.”
“You don’t allow love to do anything. If it’s there it will only be denied for so long before you give in or suffer the consequences.”
I sigh and look out at the waterfall.
“Do you wish you had chosen differently? Don’t you miss her?”
Like when talking to Viktor, his grandfather knows exactly what I speak of... even if I don’t finish my thoughts aloud.
“Every day. I hope that someday the Elves and mages will reopen negotiations and that I can see her again. If she wishes to see me, that is.”
“She does.
She still loves you.”
He smiles and chops while we stand there in silence, each contemplating the other’s words.
“Elainne!”
I jump, spook out of my thoughts as Viktor comes stomping over, looking stern.
“I think I am in trouble.”
Viktor’s grandfather chuckles but keeps a straight face as Viktor gets close enough to see and hear us.
“What are you thinking, wandering off? You could have been killed! You have no magic right now; you need to stay with me!”
I try to keep the smile off my face, I really do, but Viktor is reminding me so much of a mother hen. His grandfather is doing a better job at not showing his humor, but I can see it in his eyes.
“I didn’t exactly wander into town. I stepped outside of the house. Your grandfather has been keeping me company and I am sure he won’t allow the villagers to toss me over the waterfall.”
It is the wrong thing to say because I can tell he hadn't thought of it before, and is now adding it to his list of things to worry about.
“You should stay away from the cliff as well. You could fall.”
I go over and hug him tight, not able to stop my smile any longer.
“Oh Viktor, it’s sweet of you to worry, but honestly, I think you worry too much. Your grandfather and I were just talking. I won’t go anywhere alone - as long as I can help it - okay? Now stop worrying and let’s get something to eat. I am starved and you will need your energy for training. It can be very taxing.”
“She’s right. Go inside and get something to eat. Help yourself to anything I have.”
Viktor looks from his grandfather to me and back again, grabs my hand, nods to his grandpa, and pulls me towards the house. His presence, even as cranky as he is, still makes me feel better about everything. I know his grandfather is right, but what if I am the only one with said feelings? It will all be terribly awkward; I don’t want to ruin the trust and respect that Viktor and I share.
“We could grab some travel grub, if you want. I don’t know how to cook more than basic training camp stuff. Porridge and outdoor stew.”
I look through the cold box and pull out a bunch of things from cupboards as well. I start mixing and cooking things. I actually love to cook and bake. Mother and I found it relaxing and great fun. Not all of our experiments had turned out good, but most were edible, as were all of the recipes we followed; and because of my Elvin training, I am perfectly capable of living alone and providing for myself.
I hum as I do everything, aware that Viktor is watching me, though what I have to fear from a kitchen knife is beyond me. Perhaps he thinks it is enchanted and will do me in the second he is out of sight.
Viktor
As Elainne prepares breakfast, I wonder how to ask what her and my grandfather talked of before I came out. I noticed her trying to hide her smile and failing. He had at least done a decent job of hiding the fact that I obsess over her safety more than she thinks necessary.
“So, did you two talk about my training? You know more about my capabilities than I do.”
“If I had thought of it, I might have talked more of it. Sometimes though it is best to go in with no illusions and no expectations. You can start fresh. I think, in your case – learning a new type of magic – that starting from scratch is best.”
“So, what did you speak of?” She is working in the kitchen as if she does this every day. She has so many hidden talents; I am having trouble keeping track of them all.
“You, mostly. And your grandmother. How much he misses her and hopes to see her again. I hope for his sake that my father, or his successor, will make a new treaty with the mages so that they can be together.”
“If you were queen you could do it.” I know she doesn’t like to think on it, but well, it is true and it is her choice.
“Either way, it isn't likely to happen in his lifetime. It’s a shame really. They are so very in love; I think it would be good for them, and you, if they were together.”
“I don’t need family, I have you.”
She throws me a quick smile before rolling her eyes and shaking her head at me.
“Everyone needs family, Viktor. They love and support you, care for you, and try to be there for you no matter what. That’s what my mother always said.”
Her mother taught her something that none of her family had ever been able to live up to.
“She was wise. But my family didn’t get the memo.”
She laughs and I relaxes, smiling.
“Neither did mine. My mother was special. My father is a prick who would use me, and my aunt, well, I know she loves me but she is still like most Elves. She is using me. If her son hadn't died, she would have no use for me and I wouldn’t be here. Only my mother ever loved me just because I was me.”
“That’s not true, Elainne.”
She looks at me, shocks and curious. I am such an idiot. I shouldn’t have said anything and I hadn't planned on it. I opened my mouth to say something about my mom being the same for me and something beyond stupid came out.
She puts breakfast in front of me and eats in silence, peeking up at me when she thinks that I am engrossed in my food. She hasn't said anything, so I am unsure what to do or say now. What I wouldn’t give for the power to turn back time.
“Viktor, are you ready to train?”
I nod, put away my dishes, and leave the cabin, not looking at Elainne. He looks at her as I pass him to go outside and I hear her sigh. I am not sure what silent communication is going on there but now I have to focus. I need to train so that we can leave. I am on constant alert here, attuned to the danger, though I don’t know what the danger is or where it will come from.
“So, that was an awkward situation I walked in on. What happened?”
I ignore my grandfather and follow him to a temple up the hill, a bit from his house.
“What should I call you?”
“Grandfather?”
“I don’t know you well enough for that. I don’t have any family; I haven’t since my mother died.”
He rubs his chin and sits on a mat on the floor. I follow suit, leaving my sword by the door. I left one in the house for Elainne to keep with her. She is more proficient with a staff, and without magic she can’t hold a mage at bay if he doesn’t want her to, but I feel better her having access to it if she needs or wants it.
“It seems to me that that isn't true. Family stays with you when you need them most. That girl is here, without magic, friendless, facing possible death, because of you.”
“Don’t remind me. I need to learn fast and get us away from here.”
“Is she more liked elsewhere? It didn’t sound it from what I have heard.”
He better shut his mouth soon or I will shut it for him.
“Don’t speak about it to her!”
“It seems she knows it well. It is you that has a hard time accepting it.”
I hate him for being right. I take a calming breath. I am not sure if she can sense the anger I am feeling now. I know the Kemp bond still works for me. I am sure it does for her as well, even here so far from the Elvin forests and magic. Still, I am not sure how strong it will come across and I don’t want her to come charging in here, ready to stab my grandfather to save me from something that she can’t save me from.
“It bothers her. She hides it well, but it does.”
“You don’t bother to hide it.”
“Why should I? I don’t have her kind heart and I don’t care what others think of me, or her. I know she’s good, no matter how she came into this world.”
“You love her greatly.”
I instantly put on my court face. I don’t even think about it. It is instinct after hearing that I am too familiar with Elainne so many times from her uncle.
“Don’t bother denying it. I know the symptoms, my boy. I myself was once in the same situation. Denying what I felt because of differences that seemed too great to overcome. Love hits where it will and we al
l just have to play along.”
“It isn't like that. It’s the Kemp bond.”
“Did you know that I met Elainne’s father and Kemp while I was there? Did you know that they hated each other? They were bound only by the Kemp bond.”
“He misses him now.”
“Of course, the binding is one of the souls, so once the other is gone it eats at you no matter your personal feelings.”
If that is true, Elainne will never survive my death. Her father still grieves for the loss of someone he hated. She and I are close. How can I save her from the pain of my death?
“She’s strong.” I say it knowing it is true but not knowing if she is strong enough. That is the worst part, knowing I will be leaving her alone and not being able to do anything about it.
“She is. However, she loves you so much; I don’t think she will survive well without you. So do not waste too much of the time that you have alive dancing around it, boy. Now I want you to sit and close your eyes. Picture the flame, feel the heat, let it start big and constrict it until it is the size of a candles wick. Then open your eyes, pull it from your mind, and let it light this candle.”
How can he just say things like that and change the subject? Does he think it will help me to concentrate any?
“What you said before?”
“You will push to the back of your mind and light the candle. Maybe then I will talk more of it.”
“I have no trouble summoning the fire, just controlling it once it is out, shouldn’t we focus on control?”
“I am the teacher, you are the student, and you will do as I say!”
Nothing gets my back up more than a command from someone who I have not given permission to do such things. My officer in the army. Elainne. Very few have earned and kept my respect; even fewer do I truly respect enough to take their advice. He is not one of them.
“You can command me all you wish but it will not help. When Elainne was teaching me she focused on control since I didn’t have any, taught me to control my emotions while using magic. You shouldn’t be expecting me to just conjure fire when you have no idea what will happen.”
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