by J. S. Scott
“Totally unintentional,” he said remorsefully.
“I know. It’s not you. I guess I still have some involuntary reactions that I can’t control.” Ellie hated it when her rational brain didn’t connect with her body sometimes.
Zane took her hand and led her over to the media area with a sectional couch. He dropped onto the middle of it and pulled her into his lap. “Do you want to talk about it?”
No! No, I don’t.
Any time it came to really discussing her experiences during her horrific months in captivity, she preferred to pretend it never happened. Natalie never let her get away with avoiding it for long, and some of those sessions were brutally difficult, but Zane hadn’t ever pushed her.
She shook her head, but answered, “I don’t know. Sometimes I think I’m over it and moving on, but once in a while I still feel the scars inside me that haven’t quite healed. I’m not quite sure I’ll even have complete closure because he’s dead, and he died while I was still in the cabin.”
“The bastard took the coward’s way out. You never got to see him in court, and you never got to see him pay for what he did,” Zane replied angrily.
She nodded. “Exactly. It’s like he never existed. It’s weird because I was relieved he was dead, but I was angry, too.”
“It’s not weird, sweetheart. I think it’s natural to feel that way.”
Ellie sighed, knowing she’d never feel as close to anyone as she did to the man comforting her right now. She didn’t want to close him out, and she wouldn’t want it from him if he’d gone through something traumatic. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Wherever you want,” Zane said gently. “Tell me the things that haunt you the most.”
“The fact that I didn’t get away with his laptop the day it happened. I think about what I could have done differently. Maybe I should have gotten out of the office quicker. Maybe I didn’t fight hard enough because I was hoping I could talk him down. Maybe I shouldn’t have run, and I could have pretended I didn’t know until I had the opportunity to steal his computer from him. There’s so many things I could have done differently that might have saved both me and Chloe some pain.”
Zane absently stroked his hand over her curls as he answered, “You did the best that you could under the circumstances. Any of those alternatives might have failed.”
“Possibly,” she agreed. “But I’ll never know. There was no opportunity after that to escape. I think I was unconscious during most of the drive to the cabin, so I had no idea where I was. It was disorienting, and he had me chained before my head could clear.”
“How often did he come up to the cabin? Did he leave right away?”
Ellie wished he would have left her alone. “No. He stayed that night, using every minute to try to scare me into submission. Every time I argued, he hit me. It was a really long night.”
She felt Zane’s body tense beneath hers as he asked, “Did he strip you, or did you do that yourself?”
“He used a carving knife to cut off everything I was wearing. A scare tactic, and it worked. I was afraid he was going to rape me, kill me, or both.” She took a deep breath before adding, “He took my clothing that first night. When he left the next morning, I was pretty torn up.”
“Fuck! I wish I’d suspected him earlier when I could have had him followed. By the time I went back to Rocky Springs convinced it was James, it was too late.”
“There’s no way you could have known.” Ellie stroked his cheek and whiskered jaw. “I’m just lucky you’re a genius or I’d be dead.”
“Why didn’t he leave more supplies? He only left enough for you to barely stay alive.”
Ellie shrugged. “I think he wanted me weak and barely living. He also got a kick out of me begging for more food and water. I tried not to, but while I was still semi-alert, I did. I was always thirsty, always hungry.”
“He was a sadistic prick,” Zane rumbled.
“Very sadistic,” Ellie answered sadly. “And when I begged, I gave him exactly what he wanted.”
“Don’t,” he said urgently. “Don’t ever blame yourself. Every time he hurt you, it was because he was almost pissing himself with fear because Chloe left him to go work for Gabe. Walker pulled her out of a bad situation.”
“Thank God,” Ellie replied, sounding relieved. “James never told me that. He just kept saying they were getting married soon. I felt so helpless to do anything to save her.”
“You worried about her, and she drove herself crazy trying to find you. I’ve never seen Chloe as distraught as when you disappeared. I think for a while she was in denial, believing she could find you. When she couldn’t, she was destroyed,” Zane confided.
“But we’re both happy now,” Ellie observed wistfully. “I’m not going to let an evil dead man destroy my life or Chloe’s.”
Zane hugged her tightly and Ellie rested her head on his shoulder. He rocked her tenderly as he said, “I know you won’t. Christ! You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever known. And you managed to hold on until I found you.”
Ellie smiled against the soft material of his T-shirt. “I think I’ve spent my whole life waiting for you to find me in one way or another.”
“Not anymore,” Zane rasped. “Never again. I’ll never make you wait for anything again.”
“Mmmm…what about last night? I distinctly remember you making me wait.” In fact, he’d teased her until she was almost completely crazy with the need to climax.
Zane chuckled. “A different situation altogether. In that particular case, I was going to make it worth the wait. Was it?”
Ellie shivered as she remembered the way her body had come apart when Zane finally stopped teasing her and gave her what she needed. “Worth it, but completely unfair,” she admonished him in a faux-petulant voice. “I think it’s my turn to make you wait.”
He pulled her gently back by her hair so he could see her face. “Baby, I’d wait forever if I had to.”
The sincerity in his vow sent a wave of tenderness through her heart. He claimed not to be romantic, but his blunt words got to her in ways that nobody else’s ever had. She licked her dry lips as she stared into his earnest gray eyes. Every word he spoke was honest, every comment sincere. Her body clamored for her to take this man and savor him for a lifetime.
Zane was special.
And he was hers.
“I have to pack my orders,” she said weakly.
“I came down to help you,” he retorted. “But I also just got some pictures from Chloe.”
Getting on her knees beside him, she started feeling him up for his cell phone. “Let me see,” she insisted excitedly, rubbing a hand over the front pockets of his jeans to find his phone.
He stopped her marauding fingers by grabbing her wrist. “Jesus, woman. If you don’t stop that you’re going to find more than you’re looking for,” he told her in a husky, warning voice.
“Or I might find exactly what I want,” she told him in a sultry voice.
“How fast can we pack those items?” Zane asked desperately.
“Very. But can I see Chloe?” Ellie cherished every picture of her best friend. Occasionally, Chloe sent a video, and she looked so happy. “Where is she?”
Zane fished into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. “They’re in the Bahamas. Their last stop. This weekend we can go home. She’ll be back at Gabe’s place by then. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more warning. Gabe said they were both getting homesick and were ready to go back to the ranch.”
He brought up Chloe’s latest text message with a picture. Ellie smiled broadly as she saw her friend with Gabe, a man Ellie only knew very casually. She’d met him a few times, but every time she saw a picture of Gabe with Chloe, she liked him even more. It was clear that Gabe made Chloe happy, and for that alone, Ellie adored him already.
&n
bsp; Both of them were smiling at the camera, holding their fancy drinks up as though they were toasting the world. Chloe’s lips were turned up in a large, genuine smile that made her eyes glow with joy. Gabe had his arm around her shoulders, grinning like he didn’t have a care in the world.
Ellie traced the outline of the couple lightly. “You can tell how much they love each other.”
“It’s even more obvious in person, believe me,” Zane answered, sounding amused.
“I can’t believe I’m finally going to see her again. It seems like it’s been forever. So much has happened.”
“Hey, you’re not nervous, are you?” Zane tilted her chin to look at her face.
“A little. I don’t want to spoil her happiness now.”
“God, Ellie. You won’t. Don’t you know how damn much she loves you? Seeing you will put the last piece of the puzzle back together again. It will make Chloe complete. She misses you so much, and she’s been mourning you even though you’re still alive. If anybody is scared, it should be me. She’s going to kill me for not telling her the truth. Gabe is probably going to be in trouble, too.”
“He knows?” Ellie asked curiously.
“Blake is his best friend. I have no doubt he knows, but he must have decided not to say anything. Chloe pesters me every day about you. I’m glad she’s coming home. I hate brushing her off and pretending like I’m accepting the fact that you aren’t coming back. Hell, I hate lying to her.”
Just the thought of seeing Chloe again after so long made Ellie’s eyes moisten with unshed tears. “I’ll warn you right now that I’m going to cry, but they’ll be happy tears.”
“I was pretty sure you would,” Zane said unhappily. “But don’t do it right now. We have plans,” he answered wickedly, plucking his cell from her hand as he stood up and pulled her to her feet.
“Yeah, I need to pack.” She turned to go back to her workshop.
Zane snagged her around the waist before she could get very far and picked her up and put her over his shoulder. “I’ll do it in the morning.”
Ellie found herself hanging upside down in a very undignified position over his shoulder.
“Put me down. You have to climb the stairs,” she squealed with both delight and just a little fear of him hurting himself.
He sprinted up the steps effortlessly, ignoring her feeble attempts to pound him on the back to let her loose.
Ellie gave up her struggles as they reached the bedroom, her body already craving his touch.
True to his word, Zane got up early and packed her orders, loading them into the back cargo area of his vehicle so he could drop them off before he went to work.
Ellie wasn’t surprised. She’d learned that Zane never uttered anything lightly. For a guy who proclaimed that he wasn’t romantic, he was pretty damn thoughtful. For Ellie, the fact that he thought about her needs was pretty heady, and really, Zane’s actions were just about the most romantic thing she could ever imagine.
Spring had come to the Colorado mountains, which really meant that a person never knew whether they were going to need a heavy jacket or shorts.
On this particular day in Rocky Springs, Gabe Walker was dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, his veterinarian wife dressed similarly as she sat on the ground beside him as they watched the water in a small creek that ran through his property trickle along the rocks and continue to move downstream.
“It’s so good to be back,” Chloe said wistfully. “Traveling was amazing, but I missed my family and our home.”
Gabe was pretty sure she missed the horses a lot, too, but he didn’t mention it. He had too much on his mind, and he was terrified of putting a wall between him and the woman he loved more than anything or anyone else in the world.
Chloe had healed from most of the emotional pain James had put her through, but her wounds had been deep, and the last thing Gabe wanted was to tear any of them open again.
Maybe I should have told her.
It wasn’t like he hadn’t considered it, but for several reasons, he hadn’t. He’d broken the news that James had committed suicide a while ago, knowing she was strong enough to handle it. But he hadn’t shared the one other thing that he knew meant everything to Chloe: that her best friend was alive and recovering.
“Chloe, I have something to tell you, and I hope you’ll hear me out,” he started haltingly.
She turned her head and looked at him, her expression concerned. “Is everything okay with you?”
“It’s fine. Really fine. But I have some news.”
He watched as her worried expression grew bleak. “About Ellie?”
Gabe swallowed hard and nodded.
“Did they find her body?”
The sorrow in his wife’s voice nearly broke him. “Yes and no.” Holy hell, he couldn’t keep making things worse. He needed to just spit out the truth and stop making his wife anxious. “Chloe, she’s alive. Zane found her.”
“Oh, my God! Is she okay? Where is she?” Chloe jumped off the ground like her ass was on fire. “I have to see her, Gabe.”
He grabbed her shoulders to keep her from running back to her mare and galloping away to find her friend. They’d ridden to this spot and he’d deliberately stopped here to take a break so he could be completely alone with her to break his news.
“Listen to me, sweetheart. She’s fine. She’s with Zane, and they won’t be here until this afternoon. They’re flying in from Denver.”
Chloe frowned at Gabe. “Where has she been all this time?”
It was one of the hardest questions Gabe had ever had to answer. “She was kidnapped by James and held prisoner in a remote hunting cabin. Chloe, she was in pretty bad shape when Zane found her. If he’d found her any later, I’m afraid she wouldn’t have made it.”
“But James has been dead for months,” Chloe muttered irritably.
“Zane found her soon after we left,” Gabe confessed.
Her expression filled with hurt. “He never told me. In fact, he pretty much lied.”
“I know. We all did. Blake told me after she was found, but I knew you needed time to heal. Besides, Ellie didn’t want you to know.”
“Why?” Chloe asked tearfully. “She’s my best friend.”
He nodded. “That’s why she didn’t want you to know. She was in pretty bad shape, and she didn’t want you to blame yourself for what happened to her.”
Chloe shrugged Gabe’s hands off her. “That’s the way Ellie is—concerned about everyone except herself. But you all knew. Anybody else could have said something. God, she needed me. After that many months gone, she must have needed help.”
“Zane took care of her, Chloe. She didn’t need anything.”
“It doesn’t matter. I should have been told. God, you let me keep believing she was dead! How could you? Do you know how badly I was mourning her loss?”
“I knew. But I didn’t want you to blame yourself either.”
Chloe turned her back to him and leaned against a nearby tree. “Of course I blame myself. I got her the job with James. I led her right into his big fat web of evil.” She took a deep breath before adding more calmly, “Tell me the whole story.”
As he stared at his wife’s back, Gabe explained as much as he knew about what had happened to Ellie. He knew Chloe was listening intently, but she didn’t speak.
When he’d finally spilled every detail that he knew, she turned to face him, her expression filled with betrayal and hurt. “So you all decided that poor little Chloe wasn’t strong enough to deal with the truth.”
“We all thought it best to not stress you, sweetheart, yes.”
“What did you think was going to happen? Did you think I’d crumble? I wouldn’t have. I would have been happy, dammit.”
“We knew that. But you’d been through hell. I didn’t want you eating yourself up o
ver Ellie’s condition. She didn’t want that either.”
“You’re my husband, Gabe. I trust you more than any other person on Earth.”
“Don’t you think I know that? Do you think it was easy for me to keep this to myself? Yes, I did it so you could have some time to heal, but I also did it because Ellie wanted it this way. She didn’t want you to rush back to Rocky Springs to take care of her when you had your own wounds to heal.”
Chloe ran her hand over her face, her expression horrified. “Oh, God. She saw those horrible videos.”
“It doesn’t matter. She’s your best friend, and she realized you didn’t know they existed.” Only a few people had seen Chloe’s videos, and Gabe had been one of those people. He shook off the anger he harbored for a dead man that swamped him all over again, trying to focus solely on Chloe.
“All of this happened to her because she was trying to help me. How do I live with that? And how do I forgive all of you for not telling me that she was alive?” Chloe’s voice was tearful and desperate.
Gabe moved forward, but Chloe shied away from him, and that hurt him more than anything else ever could. “You’ll have to forgive me, sweetheart. And you’ll have to forgive your family. We all knew you were strong enough to handle the truth, but you were still trying to work things out. You needed to be your priority—and I won’t apologize for putting your needs first. Ever. You needed to leave Rocky Springs, just like Ellie needed to get away from here for a while.” His heart was hammering against his chest wall as he added, “I’m not me without you, Chloe. You have to forgive me because I can’t be without you anymore.”
“I hate it that I can’t hate you,” she told him angrily.
Gabe wanted to laugh at her comment, but he didn’t dare. “Face it, darlin’—if you had to make the same call, you’d do exactly what I did. You’d think about protecting me if I was vulnerable.”
She stared at him for a moment thoughtfully. “I honestly don’t know what I’d do. But I know it would kill me to lie to you.”