“You have it all wrong, you know. How I feel about you. You see, it was my love that killed your mother. I blame myself for her death and I suppose I never really felt deserving of your affection,” he said.
Alexi shook her head, shocked. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. Why do you blame yourself? You weren’t even in the car with her when she died.”
“No. But maybe she wouldn’t have been on that dark country road if I hadn’t made her choose between me and a music career.” A deep far away look clouded her father’s eyes. “Your mother had the voice of an angel, but flavored with just enough sultriness to mesmerize anyone who heard her. A few months after you were born, a big music producer discovered her singing in a local church and offered her the moon. He’d found his female Elvis and wanted to make her a star. I was too jealous of what a career like that would do to our marriage and family and I made her choose. Me or the music. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t ask myself, what if I had let her go after her dreams instead of forcing her to stay here and sing at local churches? Would she be alive today? Most days I answer that with a big YES.”
“Don’t.” Alexi took her father’s hand. “Don’t blame yourself. If she had gone after a singing career, would she have quit singing in churches?”
He father blinked. “Lord, no. She loved singing in churches, said it was her way of thanking God for the beautiful gift of song he’d given her.”
“Then don’t keep punishing yourself. You can’t know that she wouldn’t have been on that road no matter what. And she’s singing with angels now. She used to tell me that the stars were angels and every night they twinkled because that’s what happened when they blew kisses your way to say goodnight. I think we’ve wasted too many of her kisses over the years. I always thought that you blamed me for her death or hated me because I reminded you of her.”
“Good Lord. If anything it’s the opposite, Alexi.”
Heart squeezing with tenderness, she leaned over and gave her father a quick hug. “I’ll be sure to remember that from now on.”
He patted her on the back, cleared his throat and said, “This is an impressive showing tonight.”
“Thank you. I hope the bidding for the art is as impressive.”
“That looks like a given to me. I’d better go see what your grandmother is up to. She mentioned something about wanting to see a collection of photographs her bridge club was raving about.”
Alexi squeezed her eyes shut and bit her tongue to keep from saying anything, but the idea of her father and grandmother and “The Sum of All Things,” nude photo collection didn’t mesh at all. “I’ll see you after the auction,” were they only words she managed to say.
“Good.” Her father turned to leave but didn’t. He looked back. “I know your grandmother is rigid and manipulative. But you have to realize that she’s never known love like we have, and her iron will is all she has holding her up. She’ll eventually adjust to you and Jesse being together. Just give her time.”
Alexi only forced a smile at her father and nodded. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t release the cry inside of her that painfully knew her grandmother had been right all along. Jesse ruined her. Not necessarily her reputation, but he’d ruined her for another man. She left, intending to mingle with the guests. She saw Benny, Nan, and Andy talking over by the sculptures. Andy looked as if he were explaining another idea he had to replicate another great art classic in hubcaps.
As she neared the exit door, Roger walked in. She took a step back and slid behind a potted tree. What was he doing here? She hadn’t expected he’d come. And given the less than civil scene they’d had in his office, she didn’t want to encounter him in public. She quickly eased away to another display, grouping a collection of Medieval oil paintings and Celtic designed jewelry boxes.
She hadn’t been there but a moment when Jesse joined her. Her breath hitched at the sight of him. Jesse in jeans was a sight to see, but Jesse in a tuxedo was a phenomenon.
He leaned down and whispered into her ear. “If you don’t stop that, you’re going to have trouble on your hands.”
His voice tingled down her spine. “Stop what?” she asked thinking that when it came to trouble and Jesse, she wanted both her hands full.
“Stop looking at me like I’ve got a box of melted chocolates dribbled all over me or I’m going to pull you into a closet and take you against the wall.”
She smiled at him. “Is that a promise?”
“Alexi,” he growled and reached for her.
“Okay, I’m sorry. We can’t, really.” She backed away laughing. “The auction is due to start in just minutes. You just don’t know how yummy you look dressed up.”
He slid his potent gaze from the top of her coiled hair to the tip of her shoe. She wore an emerald velvet gown with an open back and a daring slit that let her right leg play hide and seek from the top of her thigh down. Heat tingled through her in a warm rush. Maybe they had time to—
Nan walked up saving her from disaster. Benny, Andy, and Paul were lapping at her heels.
“You’ve outdone yourself, Alexi,” Nan said. “I already hear people determined to have a certain sculpture or painting no matter how much they have to bid.”
“You’ll have to include Benny in your thanks. He and Karin have spent the last two days helping set up the displays.”
“Only followed your perfect directions, “ Benny said. He looked at his watch. “I’d better connect up with the men who’ll be bringing the art into the auction room. It’s almost time.”
Alexi touched Benny’s shoulder as he turned away. “Thanks for making this fundraiser a success.”
“I wish I could do more, but nothing ever seems to be enough.” Benny spoke harshly and she focused on his face.
“I understand what you mean about feeling nothing is ever enough, but it is. You just have to help one person at a time.”
“You don’t understand,” Benny said shaking his head. “You just don’t understand.” Benny left and Alexi reluctantly turned back to the rest of the group.
“Is everything all right?” Jesse asked.
“Yes,” Alexi said. “He’s just frustrated about making the right things happen for little kids. All of us hate to face the fact that we can only make a small difference.”
“Let’s hope you’re right.”
Alexi glanced at the people filing into the auction room. “You all better find a seat. I think there’s going to be standing room only.”
“This is going to be really, great man,” Andy said. “I just feel it.”
“You’d think it was his masterpieces being shown,” Nan said shaking her head and extending her elbows out to Paul and Andy. “Let’s go get good seats.”
Paul slid his arm through Nan’s. “She’s the boss,” he said as he led her away with Andy tagging along on Nan’s other side.
“Do you want to go with them? I may have to help if there’s a glitch.”
“I’m sticking with you. Remember? I saw Roger just a few minutes ago. I didn’t know you were expecting him.” Jesse slipped his hand against her back. Her body immediately tingled to the feel of his warm hand against her bare skin.
“I wasn’t, but I’d sent an invitation to his grandmother.”
Jesse extended his arm toward the auction room. “Ladies first.” She passed in front of him and he whispered softly in her ear. “Because I like to watch you come.”
A blush rose to the roots of her hair and she felt that every person in the room knew she had sex on her brain. She deliberately skipped the back rows and sat toward the front—a tactic that might keep her from sharing secret touches and looks but did nothing to alleviate the mounting sexual tension.
After two hours, the bidding on the donated art exceeded Alexi’s expectations. Her father, in a generous token of support, made a huge bid on a unique collection of shadow boxes containing Civil War memorabilia. Now came time for the Adam and Eve photographs. Benny brought them out
and placed the five pictures on an easel and the bidding began. Twenty thousand flew by in a heartbeat and the bidding kept rising. The auctioneer called out for last bids and Jesse signaled, capping the final bid. Alexi turned to him, blinking with surprise over the money he spent, even as she heard the sigh of disappointment from several bridge club members.
“Can’t let someone else have something that reminds me of you. Besides, it’s for a good cause. We’re going to find Lucy a new kidney.”
“I’ll never forget this.” Blinking, now with tears, she hugged Jesse. With the auction over, she stood, but the auctioneer announced two more late donations—a diamond and gold jewelry box and another photograph. Surprised, she sat back down. The diamond-studded box was donated by her grandmother, which surprised Alexi as well as warmed her heart over her grandmother’s support. Then she laughed as her grandmother proceeded to outbid every one of her bridge club cronies. Katherine Jordan would never part with any of her diamond collection.
The last donation was from Jesse Weldon. When the auctioneer said his name, her gaze shot to Jesse and he appeared surprised, too. Benny set the picture on the easel, uncovered it, and stepped back. Alexi gasped aloud.
“What the hell?” Jesse’s curse exploded into the quiet and the bottom fell out of Alexi’s world. Her stomach somersaulted. It was a picture of her. Nude. The picture Jesse had taken at the villa. Her reaction had immediately told everyone who the model was without a doubt. A collective gasp echoed through the room. She stood, wanting to run.
“Wow, Alexi. You’re a modern day rendition of Botticelli’s Birth of Venus, Andy said oblivious to her shock.
From somewhere behind her she heard Roger laughing.
Alexi stepped to the right, away from Jesse, her instinct to flee nearly overwhelming. Everyone stared, women shocked, men smiling as if they could see through her dress. Reporters snapped pictures. And as much as she wanted to run, she forced herself to stay still and keep her head high. She wouldn’t run anymore.
Jesse pushed by her and rushed to the front of the room. “There’s been a mistake. The picture is mine. I’ll compensate the charity for the inconvenience with a donation.” He snatched the picture down and disappeared backstage with it.
The room erupted with noise. Alexi saw Nan and Benny trying to get to her as a crowd of people converged her way. She saw her grandmother’s face crumple as if her worst fears had been realized. She saw her father look at her, concerned and moving toward her, but she lost sight of him as people crowded around her. She nodded at the people speaking to her, asking why she’d posed in the nude, but didn’t address their question. She made a general statement thanking everyone for making the charity auction a success and then left the room.
Benny pushed into the office the hotel had designated for their use. “Dear God, Alexi! How could he do that to you? I’m so sorry. I didn’t look at the picture before I brought it out.”
She shook her head as tears flooded her eyes. She just couldn’t believe it.
Benny wrapped a supportive arm around her. “What did you ever do to him for him to humiliate you like this?”
“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head.
“He’s been setting you up for this for two weeks now. Don’t you see it? Roger’s pictures, the wedding disaster, the vandalism. Everything has been part of his little cat and mouse game with you. Now he’s humiliated you in front of everyone.”
The door slammed against the wall and Alexi looked up to see Jesse. By the killing glare he leveled at Benny, he’d obviously heard everything Benny had said. He held the nude picture. Only the two of them knew about the picture he’d taken. Only he could have done this. Did he think this would be a turn on for her? To have a photograph of herself viewed as art? “Jesse? How? Why did you?”
“You think that I—” He stepped forward, his free hand fisted and his face distorted to angry harsh angles and arctic blue eyes. He tapped the picture. “It’s been the best money I’ve ever spent. Thanks for the great sex.” He turned on his heel and left the room. Pain slashed through her heart as if he’d used a knife and on the heels of that pain came fury. How dare he walk out like that! She deserved better. They deserved better.
“I’ll kill him,” Benny shouted and started after Jesse. Alexi grabbed Benny sleeve.
“No,” she croaked over the lump lodged in her throat. “I will.”
* * *
Fool. Did you really think things would ever be different? A Weldon will always be the fool to blame. The accusation and doubt shadowing Alexi’s eyes still cut right through Jesse. It had taken her only minutes to forget everything, even the things she’d sworn she’d never forget. He’d thought all along that love was nothing but bullshit and this proved him right. He slammed the trunk closed, cutting off his view of Alexi’s nude photo. The damn picture was a real work of art. She looked gloriously golden, and alive with fiery glints of red in her blonde hair—a real goddess of light.
But Shit! Who in the hell had found the picture he’d taken with Alexi’s camera?
He couldn’t help but think how this whole set up fit nicely into her grandmother’s plans—Alexi closer than ever to moving back home and Jesse out of the picture.
One picture. He’d taken one damn picture. And that one picture had launched a thousand devils tonight. How in the world could Alexi believe even for a moment that he’d be capable of doing what had been done to her tonight?
To be exposed like that, without warning, before friends, family, and colleagues, had to be humiliating. He didn’t blame her for being upset, but he did blame her for accusing him.
Jesse heard a door slam and turned to see Alexi approaching like an angel of vengeance.
“The best money you’ve ever spent? What the hell does that mean?” she yelled.
“You can take it any way you want to.” Jesse folded his arms and glared at her and all her upper crust righteous indignation.
“So you’re not denying this whole thing?” She marched two more steps closer and planted her hands on her hips. Her cheeks were flushed with anger and her eyes sparked with green fire and unshed tears.
Tears he wasn’t going to let get to him. Not this time. He set his jaw into a firm line. “I don’t have to deny a damn thing. The facts speak for themselves, right?”
She shook her head, as if he’d spoken Greek. “There’s only one thing shouting real loud to me right now and that is only you and I knew about that picture, so how did it end up on stage tonight? Was it some sort of joke? Did you think it would be a turn on?”
Could she really believe that? The more she said the deeper her doubt dug into his gut, like a twisting knife. “Yeah, you saw me laughing my head off, right? You tell me how that picture ended up in the auction. It was your camera I used. Where is your camera?”
“With my things at your house. Can you blame me for wondering? The facts aren’t weighing out in your favor here.”
“Well, you know what? I don’t really care. It’s the same old story all over again and I ended up with the blame. But this time, I’m walking away before I pay the price for somebody else’s sin. It’s not worth it.”
She recoiled as if he’d hit her, and he almost called back his words. But he didn’t. Damn it, he’d gone out of his way to be there for her. He’d proved over and over that she could count on him and the first bump in the road she’d painted him black. Just like before.
She straightened her shoulders, as if she’d come to a new resolve. “This isn’t about me. You’re looking for an excuse and you’re bailing out. I think you’ve been looking for a way out ever since I told you I love you.”
Jesse sucked in air and gave her a sarcastic smile. “Some love. It didn’t take you more than two minutes to believe the worst. You either trust and believe in somebody, or you don’t. I know where I stand with you.”
“No you don’t, because you haven’t stuck around long enough to know that. You’re running.”
“I’m not ru
nning, sunshine. I’m just facing the facts. Something you don’t seem capable of doing. It’s over. Me and you weren’t meant to be.”
“As you would say, that’s bullshit. I bought that line at seventeen, but now I can see it for what it is—a lousy excuse so you don’t have to face yourself.”
“Why in the hell do I want to be involved with a woman who doesn’t even believe in me?”
“My heart is telling me one thing and my head is questioning the facts. I doubt. I’m human, but at least I’m not afraid to admit that. You’re pissed because you do care. Only you won’t let yourself realize it. Love is real, but love isn’t perfect. Someday you’re going to have to accept that, but I’m not going to hold my breath. I’ll come collect my things later.
“Don’t bother. I’ll have your things delivered. You’re going to stay with your father, right? You’ll stay there until we find out who is behind the vandalism?”
“Don’t concern yourself. I don’t want your duty. I’m not going to let you hide behind your sense of responsibility. You know why you suck at relationships? It’s because you won’t let yourself believe in one.” A cry of pain followed her words and he almost reached for her but he didn’t. He got into his car and left instead.
Only, he didn’t leave. He went around the building and, turning off his lights, he slid into a parking space. Alexi still stood where he’d left her, staring in the direction he left. Jesse fisted his hands as his gut twisted. Go back inside where you’re safer, his mind shouted. He saw the hotel door open behind her and a tall, broad-shouldered shadow emerge. Jesse jerked his car door open, cursing himself for leaving her vulnerable. Then the man approaching Alexi walked through a stream of light and he recognized Alexi’s father.
Wild Irish (Book 1 of the Weldon Brothers Series) Page 23