by Isabo Kelly
She berated herself for not knowing he could do this sooner. Or what the effects of using this magic would be. She should have pushed him for this information yesterday, or the night before while they were in Noman’s Land! This was just the kind of detail she needed and had intended to get from him right from the beginning. Yet she’d let him distract her. Let her attraction and anger override her sense.
Shaking her head, she eased up from the floor and edged carefully to a window to search the streets. She was going to get them killed by not remembering why they were here. Her job during the war had always been to obtain information. She’d failed miserably at doing that with Althir. Any more such failures could land them into the hands of the Sorcerers.
She left him sleeping where he was and went to check the other side of the building. The surrounding streets were quiet again, no evidence of anyone watching their location. Though she hadn’t been aware of the woman watching for them all day. Another failure on her part. Usually her instincts were better than that, enough to leave her edgy and aware if she’d been spotted.
Again, her only excuse was her reactions to Althir. She shouldn’t have taken this mission. The council should have sent someone else. She was making mistakes. Dangerous ones. And if she couldn’t trust her instincts going forward, how could she keep them both from getting caught?
With a deep breath, she refocused on her job, or tried to. She needed to get back to doing what she was good at—watching, listening, collecting information. And staying well enough hidden that Althir never had to do again what he’d done earlier. He’d saved their lives. But at what cost? If he tried that at the wrong time, left himself that vulnerable, they were both dead.
Then were would her people be? The war would drag on. They would have lost their best chance at ending it. And they would have lost their best source of information about the Sorcerers.
No, she had to make sure he stayed alive. For her people.
Yes, she assured herself. She wanted Althir alive for the sake of her people. No other reason. No other reason at all.
Once full dark descended and Mina was comfortable they could sneak out of the tavern, she went to wake Althir. He hadn’t moved the entire time he slept, still sitting up, leaning against the mattress with his head back. He’d remained so motionless, she’d felt for a pulse once when checking on him. It was there, steady and even. His breathing was slow and deep, and his face muscles were relaxed. She couldn’t imagine he was all that comfortable, especially since the wooden floor wasn’t exactly warm or padded, but she couldn’t see discomfort in his body.
The room was dark now, with only a faint glow of light from the windows of a nearby building. There were no gas lamps lighting the alley on this side of the tavern, but enough ambient light filtered in to give her a view of his profile.
The ethereal smoothness of his skin, the sharp, beautiful lines of his face, reminded her of that day she’d spoken with him in his cell, before they’d set out. He was still more beautiful than any man had a right to be. Yet somewhere in the last few days, she’d stopped resenting him for that.
She was sure, somewhere deep down, she still hated him. But watching him sleep, pushed to exhaustion protecting them from discovery, she couldn’t feel the hate anymore. She wasn’t sure what she felt. Confusion still mixed with anger. Along with that nagging sense that there was more to Althir than anyone knew.
Or was she fooling herself? Falling victim to his beauty and charm?
She set the worries aside. How she felt about Althir didn’t matter right now. Getting the List and getting back out of enemy territory alive was all that mattered.
She knelt beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder, already running through the myriad questions she had for him. His eyes popped open suddenly, looking right into hers, startling her into a small gasp. As he stared, she stared back, and everything she’d had in her head, every thought and question, just wasn’t there anymore. She couldn’t even marshal enough awareness to realize she’d stopped thinking. For several long moments, the only thing in the entire world she was aware of was Althir.
He blinked slowly, leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, the move so unexpected she simply sat there. Then she closed her eyes.
His kiss was gentle, not asking permission but not demanding either. He kissed her as if they had kissed many times, with his lips a soft caress against hers that sent sharp, heady awareness through her blood, warming low in her stomach. When she noticed the silky glide of desire moving through her, she also realized she was returning his kiss, her mouth moving with his in a slow dance.
His hands came up to cup her face, and he angled his head just a little to better fuse their mouths but still without pushing for anything deeper. Her heartbeat tripped against her rib cage as his scent wrapped around her in the darkness, a warm, rich blanket against the chill in the air. Everything about Althir was warm and rich. His taste, the feel of his bare palms against her cheeks, the firm press of his mouth.
The very brief flick of his tongue against her lower lip startled a gasp from her, not because she was surprised but because the sensation sent a shock of need roaring through her. She heard his faint groan, felt his fingers flex gently against her cheeks, and she opened her mouth to him, taking the kiss further than he’d gone, tangling her tongue with his as she tasted him fully.
She leaned in closer, wanting more, wanting something deeper. And suddenly she was sprawled across his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck, his around her waist. The feel of his erection growing against her hip should have brought her back to the real world, back to their location, the danger. It didn’t. It only drove her growing passion closer to frenzy.
Desperation seeped into her body, tingling over her nerves as she pressed even closer, flattening her breasts against his chest. This time his groan was more audible, filling her mouth and vibrating through his chest. The sensation hardened her nipples against the rough material of her shirt. She dragged one of his hands from her waist and settled his palm over her breast, needing the feel of him, almost mindless with a desperation she’d never felt before.
It was like being drunk, out of control. She was so wrapped up in his scent, his heat, the feel and taste of him, she couldn’t conceive of anything else in the world existing. He squeezed her breast, his touch rougher now, then found her nipple through her clothing and pinched hard enough to make her moan.
“That feels so good,” she panted against him as he tortured her with only his hand and fingers on her breast.
“You feel so good. Perfect.”
But the position wasn’t perfect, she thought. One of her swords was in the way. She scooted around until she was straddling him, her knees bumping against either side of his hips, her scabbards out of the way. The position pushed his erection tight against her core, adding to the torment and the pleasure. She ground down against him and his fingers pinched her nipple in response.
“Yes,” she murmured, then fused her mouth to his again, on fire with a desire unlike anything she recognized in herself.
She hadn’t had a man in more months than she could remember. Hadn’t wanted sex or intimacy at all for a long time now. Yet she couldn’t seem to control herself with Althir, couldn’t conceive of walking away from this passion. She pumped her hips against his cock, swallowing his growls, thrilling in the hard grasp of his hands. He cupped her ass roughly and pulled her as tight against him as was physically possible.
And she wanted more. She wanted his mouth on her breasts, sucking her nipples; she wanted his cock inside her, fucking her hard and fast. She wanted to take and take until he had nothing left to give her. And then she wanted to take more.
She didn’t even recognize herself like this, this wanton so desperate for a man to fuck her. She’d never felt like this, never wanted someone else with such mindless desperation. That thought managed to creep in past the flood of sensation to sound a slight alarm, a warning she knew she should heed. She didn’t.
She refused to listen, to let anything get between her and taking what she wanted from Althir.
But when he suddenly pulled back, when he rolled her off him and stood so quickly she barely saw the movement, that faint sense of warning held her still, crouched on the floor, even though every other ounce of her wanted to go to him.
He faced her, breathing hard, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. She held his gaze, marveling at the dark heat glittering amidst the gray. She was panting too, which rubbed her nipples against the material binding her breasts, heightening an awareness she was struggling to control.
“What was that?” she murmured. The longer they stood apart, the more certain she was that more than just mutual lust had built that inferno so quickly and suddenly.
“Elf-fire,” he said, his voice harsh.
Mina’s hands shook as she used the mattress to lever herself up onto the bed. Elf-fire. The pheromone elves gave off when they were in the throes of sexual passion. It was supposed to be addictive to humans. She’d been with an elf once, before the war, but she’d never experienced anything like what had just happened with Althir. She’d assumed the tales of elf-fire were exaggerated. Now she understood why so many Sinnale also called the pheromone elf-tears.
She wanted to ask how this was possible, what it had done to her? Would she experience the addiction now, the withdrawals? And how the hell had she not realized what was going on? If he hadn’t moved away, she would have fucked him on the cold floor without any thought to consequences. Then she would have moved him to the bed and fucked him again.
She could still feel the tingling of desperation against her skin, the sharp awareness that made remaining separate from him an act of will. Despite knowing this was nothing more than a chemical reaction, she wanted his hands on her naked skin and his thick cock buried deep inside her.
The thought brought her gaze to his still very erect cock, and without meaning to, she licked her lips. His growl brought her gaze back to his face. He took a single step toward her. She sucked in a breath, only a small part of her not wanting him to join her on the bed.
“We need more distance between us,” he said and left the room.
His absence was so abrupt she sat stunned for a long while. When she could manage to think even a little, she concentrated on bringing her breathing and body back under control, focusing on slowing her pulse.
She was still a little shaky when he finally returned. He didn’t come fully into the room, instead standing stiffly in the doorway, holding himself tall and motionless.
She pulled in a last deep breath. “How did that happen? Why did it happen?”
“I want you. It’s what happens when my people want someone.”
“Well, stop it.”
He snorted without amusement. “I have absolutely no control over the Shaerta, the elf-fire. Or the way I want you.”
She tried not to react to his statement, but a punch of desire still clenched her gut. She forced it down. “You mean that… That happens every time you’re even remotely attracted to someone?” So why didn’t she experience it before with the other elf?
“No.”
Okay. Then… “Why with me?”
“It happens when we want someone a lot, more than a passing fancy for a quick lay. We can’t control it, and we can’t fake it.”
The trembling started in her body again. She fisted her hands in her lap. “Make it go away.”
“Too late now. I’m not going to stop wanting you after that.” He gestured to the spot on the floor where they’d both lost control, where his weapons still lay forgotten, framing the place they’d been.
“If we fuck, will it go away after?” She could hardly believe she’d said that out loud, but she needed to know. Needed to find out if she was stuck this way or could work this out of her system. She didn’t want to feel this desperation. She certainly didn’t want to want Althir with such intensity it overrode all other concerns.
He stared back at her, and she saw his jaw clench as he considered her question.
“With you? Probably not.”
She swallowed and tried for another calming breath—which didn’t work. “Why did you stop?” she asked the other question she needed answered. “I couldn’t have.” The admission cost her, but at the moment, she needed truth between them. On this, at least.
“That’s why I stopped.”
She frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“Which is the other reason I stopped.”
He finally entered the room and stalked toward the bed. He snatched his bow, quiver and sword off the floor then straightened and stared down at her for a long moment.
His nearness started her heartbeat pounding again. It took an act of will not to lick her lips and lean toward him, to keep her gaze on his face and not let it drop to see if he was still erect. The moment stretched until her nerves felt raw. Finally, he returned to the doorway, his movements stiff.
“Come on,” he said over his shoulder. “We need to move before the minion patrols return.”
Chapter Eight
Why did you stop? Her question echoed through him as they slinked through the streets, making their way slowly toward their next stopping point. He kept asking himself the same thing. Why had he stopped? He wanted her. He’d had every intention of seducing her in the near future.
When he woke to see her face so close to his, kissing her seemed the only possible thing to do. And what a kiss. It had turned his need from a hungry ache to full-blown madness. He’d controlled the madness right up until she opened herself to him, let him inside.
Then the madness—and the Shaerta—took over.
He had to taste more, feel more, have more. She was his to have, eager, as caught up in the fire as he’d been.
So why in the name of the goddess had he stopped?
The rise of the Shaerta had surprised him as much as it did her. He hadn’t felt the effects of the pheromone in…longer than he cared to admit. For a long time now, sex had been little more than exercise to him, something to work off needs or a way to get what he wanted from someone. He barely had a thought for the person he was with most of the time.
Mina was different. He wanted her more than he wanted air and food. He wanted her, not just the physical act of sex. So much so, he could still feel the tingling of heat over his nerves.
So why stop? Why deny himself something he’d been missing for centuries?
She paused at the side of a building to study the street, and he leaned against the wall a foot behind her. Still too close. The need continued to ride him. But it was the best he could do.
He stared at the nape of her neck, where it was exposed by the now-tight knot of her bun. The soft skin called out to him, demanding to be tasted, touched. He lifted a hand toward her, then made a fist and dropped his arm back to his side. He realized as he did he’d lost his gloves somewhere along the way, but it was a small irritation compared to the compulsion to reach toward Mina again and loosen that tight bun, run his fingers through her silky hair, tug her head back so he could taste her lips…
Closing his eyes and cursing himself, he forced the image away. Now was not the time to lose himself in thoughts of her.
Would this be easier if they’d fucked? She’d almost broken him asking that same question. He felt the already thin threads of his control snapping until only the barest of sense kept him from tossing her back onto the bed and doing exactly what they both wanted.
And again he had to ask himself, why? Why did he not take her while he could?
He stared at the wall across from him, knowing he’d told her the truth. Even fucking her then and there wouldn’t have been enough to dampen the elf-fire. In fact, it might well have heightened the reaction since he hadn’t experienced it in so long. But now that the elf-fire had risen, he knew he would only have two, maybe three times with her before he risked her sanity. And more.
The pheromone was so addictive to humans most elves restricte
d their sexual activity with human partners to a single night. He knew for sure now that once would not satisfy his need for her.
He didn’t want to waste one of those precious nights in a frantic coupling that would have to be silent and fast. He wanted to take his time with her, explore her, bring them both all the pleasure he knew was available to them. He wanted to savor every moment and wallow in the intensity.
Rolling his head against the wall, he stared at the back of her head again. But that wasn’t the only reason he’d stopped. It wasn’t even the real reason, though now that he could think, he acknowledged that not wanting to waste any of their time together was important to him.
The real reason he’d stopped was the very reason he’d given her. She hadn’t understood what was happening between them, hadn’t been aware of the elf-fire or its effect on her. She didn’t understand. And he didn’t want her that way. When he finally took her, he wanted her aware and eager to be with him—not because some pheromone was driving her, but because she needed him as desperately as he needed her. He wanted her to admit to the need, not have an excuse to dismiss it.
He needed her to be fully aware of their attraction and take him willingly.
Why, he couldn’t say. He’d never cared before, with any other human woman. Or elf for that matter. Sex was sex. He’d never considered the underlying feelings of his partners. Nor they his. It had never mattered before.
But Mina’s opinion of him, her feelings for him, mattered. And for the life of him, he did not understand why.
She motioned over her shoulder without looking at him, and they moved out again, hurrying across a brightly lit street into another dark alley.
The closer they got to the area surrounding the public Citadel, the slower their progress. Regular movements of both patrols and servants along the streets at one point made it impossible to move for nearly an hour. Finally, Mina took them through the back door of a small building and up a set of narrow stairs to the roof. From the cover of the small retaining wall, they watched the street below.