by Penny Wylder
I was on my way up. You wouldn’t know it by looking at me now, though. This job pays minimum wage and the tips on coffee are pretty lousy. I’m barely getting by. Now that I’ve graduated, the banks are starting to reach their hands out for loan repayments. If I don’t find a decent job soon, I’m going to lose what little I do have. People who graduate with honors from prestigious law schools aren’t supposed to contemplate bankruptcy at the age of twenty-five.
The line at the counter starts to stretch out the door. The lunch rush pounces on me and I’m falling behind while stressing out and thinking obsessively about my financial troubles that seem to be mounting by the hour. People start to complain about the slow-moving line which doesn’t help matters. One lady complains about her coffee not being hot enough; another says it’s too hot.
I plaster a smile on my face and redo their orders. If I can’t handle the stress of a coffee shop, there’s no way I could handle a courtroom. But that’s not going to happen. I am a stone. Nothing can break me. Especially not a bunch of whiny over-caffeinated customers. I may just be a barista, but I’m going to be the best damn barista this store has ever seen.
I finally start to catch up. When I get back to the cash register after making a soy latte, I see a tall man, about a foot taller than me, standing there with broad, muscular shoulders, double the width of mine. He’s looking down at his phone, tapping out a text message. I hesitate at the register as I study the familiar stature. With his head down, it’s hard to tell at first why he looks so familiar. He’s an older man with hair graying at the temples, but he’s built like a man half his age, like he’s been working out all his life, but not bulky like someone who spends all their time in a gym. He’s stunningly handsome and my body instantly reacts to him. I desperately want him to look up. My heart lifts into my throat when he finally does, and recognition sets in.
“Lonnie.” My voice is barely a breath of air when it comes out. The sound sticks in my throat.
“Savanna, is that you?” he says. His eyes travel up and down my body, respectful enough not to linger on anything below my neck longer than a few seconds.
His grin when he recognizes me takes me to when I was a teenager with my first major crush. Lonnie is my dad’s best friend. I haven’t seen him since high school graduation. I was obsessed with him. I was never all that into boys my age. They were so immature and annoying. All they ever talked about were video games and sex and sports. With Lonnie, there were nights when we would talk for hours about politics and all the things I cared about. He was smart and deep, but he could also be silly and adorable.
I used to flirt with him relentlessly. He was flattered by the attention, I could tell. Whenever I’d comment on how handsome he was or touch his arm while laughing at his jokes, his face would turn the most adorable shade of red. He’d always politely dodge my advances. I know he didn’t want to hurt my feelings, but hurt feelings were inevitable. At least they were on my part. When you’re young and not experienced in heartbreak, emotions are stronger. Every feeling is magnified, and if you’re not careful, you can burn up under the flare of those emotions. Like what happened to me. I was completely infatuated with him, then one day he just moved away and never came back.
Now that I think about it, I’m glad he always rejected me back then. I was seventeen, far too young for a man in his thirties. If he would’ve tried to be with me, what kind of man would that make him? No decent guy would hook up with a minor, even if I was on the verge of eighteen. But Lonnie wasn’t like that. He was a good guy. The best. And by the looks of him, he’s only gotten better with age.
“In the flesh,” I say and instantly regret it because it sounds so lame. I quickly follow it up by saying, “What can I get for you?”
Lonnie tells me his order. Luckily, it’s a simple one, because my thoughts are scattered and I’m having a difficult time trying to stay focused. My hands shake as I type his order into the computer.
“Are you still in school?” he asks me.
Even though I’m not surprised, I’m still a little disappointed that my parents didn’t tell him that I graduated. I was hoping enough time had passed that they would have invited him to my graduation party. It’s been seven years, after all. They used to be such good friends. He was always at our house, then suddenly, just before I went off to college, he moved. I assumed it had something to do with business or clients since he’s a lawyer just like my parents, but whenever I asked my parents about it, they never wanted to talk about him.
“I graduated six months ago,” I tell him.
I’m doing my best not to screw up his order. I can’t think straight when he’s around. Even a simple latte is proving to be difficult. My damn hands won’t stop shaking.
“Really?” he says.
“Top of my class.” It sounds like I’m bragging. Maybe I am a little. It’s something I’m really proud of. I worked hard for that spot. Though all of that work is starting to feel like it was all for nothing now that it seems my only potential is to be a barista.
I hand him his drink and manage not to splash it on him. He takes a tentative sip and looks confused. I get nervous and start to wonder if I managed to screw it up even though I was trying my best to make his order perfect.
“It’s been six months since you graduated, and you still haven’t found a job at a firm?”
I shrug, feeling inadequate. Since I went off to college, I always fantasized about running into Lonnie again and the things I would say to him. I was hoping to get the chance to tell him I was a successful lawyer and had my shit together so he would see me as more than his ex-best friend’s immature daughter. Meeting him at a coffee shop where I work while struggling to make ends meet was never part of that fantasy.
“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m sending out résumés but no one seems to be biting. Not even an interview.”
“When can you take a break?” he asks. “I’d like to talk more about this. Catch up after all these years.”
I get excited at the thought of getting to sit down and have a conversation with him.
Looking at the line now snaking out the door, that excitement ebbs. “It’ll be at least a half hour before I can take a break.”
He pays for his coffee and leaves a twenty-dollar tip even though his order was only six dollars.
“I can wait,” he says, and finds a nearby table to sit at.
I rush through my orders, my hands no longer shaking. I’m in my zone, making sure every order is perfect so there are no returns that will set me back. I feel his gaze on me. Each time I look over at him, our eyes lock and it sends butterflies swarming around in my chest. No single feature makes him so beautiful, it’s a combination of several unique quirks. One eyebrow sits higher than the other and makes him look perpetually amused. His full lips give him that sensual allure that makes me wonder what they would feel like against mine. His eyes have a gentleness about them, while at the same time being intense. They are the kind of features that age well and never fade.
I wonder what he wants to talk about with me. That childish romantic in me hopes he’ll profess his undying love for me. But I know that would never happen. He probably just wants to catch up and find out what my parents have been up to. He was such a huge part of my life growing up. I’m sure he just wants to know how law school went for me. He went to law school too, after all. Like me, he was at the top of his class and graduated with honors. But unlike me, he was recruited right after graduation and has been successful ever since, though I’m not exactly sure what kind of law he practices now. I used to think all law was the same and wondered why my dad and Lonnie never went into business together.
The line finally starts to dwindle to just a few customers. It’s enough to keep from overwhelming my coworkers, so I don’t feel guilty for taking my break.
My legs are soggy noodles and I float toward him on numb feet. I’m mindful of every step so I don’t trip and make a fool out of myself. Lonnie stands when
I approach, and I’m once again overwhelmed by the towering size of him. He pulls out a chair for me to sit. It’s an old-fashioned gesture, and this is only one of the reasons I find him irresistible. The guys my age don’t even know what manners are anymore. I’m lucky to have a door opened for me on a date.
“Can I get you a drink?” he asks.
I could’ve made one for myself, but if I drink caffeine right now, I’ll end up launching out of this chair. I’m far too nervous for that.
“No, thank you. I’ll stick with this,” I say, gesturing to my water bottle.
He sits down across from me. My foot starts to bob maniacally under the table, and I’m picking at my nail polish. I’ve never been so weird around him like this before. It’s such a foreign feeling. He used to be the person I was most comfortable around. I could always be myself in his presence. I didn’t have to be the perfect, pristine honor student that everyone expected me to be. These years between us have changed everything.
“How have you been?” he asks with genuine concern. The flecks of grey in his hair and the stubble on his chin make him look distinguished, important. He’s the kind of man whose presence demands attention. It’s an understated importance that needs no words. When Lonnie is in a room, everyone is aware of it. He doesn’t seem to have any clue just how strong his magnetism is.
“I’ve been well. Just really focused on school. Consumed by it, really. I was able to graduate a year early.”
He gives me the most mesmerizing, playful smile. “No time for boyfriends?”
How does he do that to me with just a simple smile? He’s a vortex, pulling me toward him. I’m leaning forward, trying to catch my breath as he pulls it from my lungs.
My cheeks heat and I smile back at him. “Not really. A few dates but nothing that stuck.”
His blue eyes sparkle in the pale light coming through the tinted windows of the coffee shop. They’re such a striking color that I can’t possibly look away. They’re a work of art. Looking at them, you can’t help but feel something. They evoke emotion, they tell a story. Seeing those eyes again, I remember when I first really noticed them. I was sixteen and he was with my family on our houseboat at the lake. His skin was tan which made his eyes stand out all the more.
I miss those days, secretly watching him while he was shirtless, the way his skin would glisten when he got out of the water, how his wet swim shorts would cling to his body, showing off the shape of his manhood. My imagination would run wild. I always wore the skimpiest bikinis despite my mom’s complaints and objections. I know he noticed me, but he always tried hard not to.
Thinking about those houseboat trips has me wet and aching. Those adolescent fantasies hit me with full force. I have to keep my eyes locked on his and force myself not to let them roam all over his body.
“With such great accolades, I can’t believe a firm hasn’t snatched you up yet,” he says.
I’m sweating. It’s so hard to be this close without touching him and flirting the way I did when I was younger. I’m twenty-five now. It should be easier than it was then, but it’s not.
“There’s a lot of competition out there,” I say to make myself feel like less of a failure. But it doesn’t work. He’s right. I can’t believe it either. I was sure I’d have a great job in a firm by now.
“I can’t let that kind of talent go unnoticed.” He leans back in his chair and knocks his fist on the table like a judge making their final ruling. “I want you in my firm,” he says.
I’m so taken by surprise I choke on my water and start to cough. “What?”
I’m not sure I heard him right.
“It’s a perfect fit,” he says. “I’ve been looking someone I can trust, someone I can teach from the ground up, who doesn’t already have bad habits they’ve learned from other lawyers. I want an apprentice. My firm is in the city so you would have to relocate. The signing bonus you’ll receive should be enough to get you a decent apartment to start with …”
He keeps going, talking about bonuses, insurance, benefits, money I can actually live on without starving. My head is spinning. Somewhere in the deepest recesses of my mind I know my parents would freak. When Lonnie first stopped coming around, they warned me they didn’t want me talking to him, though I didn’t know why, and they wouldn’t say. I never pressed the subject because it seemed to really upset them, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
But they aren’t helping me get a job and I’m barely surviving. Being a barista isn’t part of the plan. I can’t say no to this opportunity no matter how much I know they would disapprove.
I stand up suddenly, almost knocking my chair over. Lonnie stands too, startled by my sudden movement. I throw myself against him, wrapping my arms around his neck in a smothering hug. His cologne is a drug that I inhale deeply. It makes me lightheaded and euphoric, sending a warmth through me that touches all the fun parts. His body is so massive against mine, and I have to stand on the tips of my toes to reach. He hesitates only a moment and chuckles before his arms wrap around my waist. He’s so masculine and firm. Solid muscle against my soft skin. I forgot just how safe it feels wrapped in one of Lonnie’s hugs. My breathing quickens and I notice his does too. I don’t want to read too much into this, but I can’t help but notice and wonder if he’s feeling anything close to the way I’m feeling right now.
The longer we hug the more I notice there is definitely something different about the way he’s hugging me now compared to when he hugged me as a teen. I know it’s not all in my head. This time he holds me a bit closer. Squeezes me a bit tighter. His hands roam down to the small of my back and settle there, just above my ass. This touch is different for sure.
“Say yes,” he tells me, squeezing me even tighter. His voice is deep, sultry. It vibrates through me, making me weak. His body is so warm against mine and I melt into him. “I’m not leaving here until you do.”
My giggle threatens to burst loose and turn into hysterical laughter. I can’t believe, after all these years, Lonnie is back and he’s offering me the opportunity of a lifetime. Not to mention the fact that my body is pressed against his again. It’s all so perfect that I don’t want this moment to ever end. Except it has to, and it’s only going to get better from here because there’s no way I’m going to turn him down.
“Yes, of course I will come work for you.”
He pulls back and looks at me, his eyes lingering on mine. His stare threatens to sweep my feet right out from under me. I know this job opportunity is priceless, but if I’m being honest, even if he offered me a minimum wage job cleaning his toilets, I probably would say yes to that too. I never stopped caring about him and I never was able to let go of those teenage fantasies that used to keep me up at night masturbating.
“Good. As soon as you put your notice in here and get your things packed, I’ll send a car for you.”
He kisses my cheek. His lips linger against my skin and my breath shudders out of me. They’re so soft and supple. If I turned my head only the smallest fraction, I would know what they would feel against my own lips.
He steps away from me and I sigh. I watch him walk out the door. I fight the urge to scream and dance around the room. Instead, I go straight to my manager who is outside on her smoke break and put in my notice. In two weeks, I’m going to be a real lawyer working for a man too tempting to resist.
2
Savanna
I don’t own much, so packing doesn’t take long at all. Everything I’m not attached to, I just toss out. I left most of my things at my parents’ house because I was afraid of anything important getting stolen by roommates who always remained strangers to me.
I finish packing in record time because I don’t want to stay in this small town any longer. Not when Lonnie already gave me the keys to my new place in the city. He said the papers were already signed and it was ready be moved into, so I don’t see why getting there a day early will be a problem.
Lonnie offered to send a car for me, but
I don’t want to put him out more than I already have. He’s done so much for me already. I call an Uber instead. My parents gave me an Uber card for graduation, and it will no doubt cost a couple hundred dollars to make it to the city, but with the money I’ll be making from working with Lonnie, I’ll be able to pay they them back if they say anything about it.
My new apartment has the most amazing view of the city. The people below me look like little ants crawling around. There’s no way this place is in my budget. I told Lonnie as much when he chose it for me, but he insists that I can afford it now. It’s close to the train station and shopping, and everything is within walking distance, including the law firm’s office. He says the rent is manageable, yet he won’t tell me how much it is. He says he’ll take care of the rent and utilities and not to worry about it. I know he would never leave me stranded without money, so I trust him.
The apartment comes fully furnished. I’m not talking some cheap Ikea furniture. It’s all very luxurious and expensive. This looks like a place where a proper lawyer would live, one who’s already established. Not someone who will probably be fetching coffee and licking stamps for the next year.
I plop down on the plush leather couch and smile at my surroundings. I giggle, wishing my friends and family could see this. But I haven’t told anyone about my new job yet. I’m afraid it will get back to my parents. As far as they know, I’m still back in the suburbs in my cramped apartment with my three lazy roommates, still working at the coffee shop for pennies. I don’t know when I’ll tell them the truth. Maybe when this all starts to feel real. Right now, it’s just a dream. Maybe I’ll get to Lonnie’s law firm and completely fail. Maybe the pressure will be too much for me and I won’t be good at being a lawyer at all.