by Kip Nelson
“But I don't think it hurts to implement the same system we had. Then everyone gets a chance to know what it's like to run the settlement and nobody,” at this he glared at Gary, “can complain that they don't have a say in how things are run. I don't think it's the worst idea to consider having the same set up that we had. After all, we're all on an equal footing here.”
“I hear what you're saying, and I'm willing to consider that in the future. However, I think right now we should keep with the same structure given that we must make it through winter. I think it's good to have a singular vision driving us.”
“Figures that the man in power doesn't want to let it go,” Gary muttered.
He was met with glares again. Mack knew he either could let the comment pass, or he could react to it, but doing so could bring the ire of the others if he was too harsh with Gary. However, Mack was getting tired of the way Gary was acting and wanted to put him in his place.
“Gary, you haven't seemed to like it here since the moment you arrived. If there's something productive that you want to talk about, then I'm happy to hear you out, but all I've heard from you is grumbling, and that serves no useful purpose. I never ordered you to come to New Haven, and I didn't make you stay. You chose to remain here out of your own volition, and I am happy to call you a part of this settlement. Although I would hope that by now you would see that we're not the enemy.
“I don't know where you got the idea that I'm some power-crazy man, but I'm really not. I just want the best for everyone who lives here. If that's not acceptable to you, then I don't really know what we can do about it. I want everyone here to be as happy as possible, and it's clear you're not. Perhaps we can find a solution?”
“Are you threatening to throw me out? To exile me into the city?” Gary said.
“I'm doing nothing of the sort. I'm simply trying to present you with options so we can find what's best for you. I'm not going to hold anyone against their will, so if you don't want to live here you don't have to do so. On the other hand, if you do want to live here, there are going to be certain things that you have to accept. Now, I don't mind that you don't seem to like me because, quite frankly, I don't particularly like you. However, to make it through this world we must work together and put aside our personal differences. I'm willing to do that. Are you?”
The question hung in the air as everyone looked toward Gary, waiting for an answer, but none was forthcoming. Instead, Alison broke the silence.
“We're supposed to be here to help make this a better place, not to have some kind of group bonding therapy. Now, I'm not going to come in here and tell you how to do your jobs, but I have been noticing something that could help, a school for the children. There are quite a number of them now, and as much as it's good to use them to help maintain the settlement, I don't think we should forget our responsibilities as adults to help educate them. Their futures are in our hands, literally, and we must teach them how to live and how to survive in the world. It's a wonder they're able to cope with it as well as they have, but they still need structure. We can teach everyone useful skills, skills they're going to need to survive.”
“That's a great idea,” Mack said, “would you be willing to take the lead on this and see who is able to take some classes, and work with them to devise a curriculum?”
“I'd be happy to,” Alison said, smiling.
“I've been thinking about more practical matters, like how to stay warm,” Daisy said, flicking a few drooping locks of dark hair away from her eyes.
“I've noticed there aren't enough blankets to go around. We had to learn how to stay warm. You can use old newspapers, dry leaves, and plastic bags as insulation to keep in the heat. It's not perfect, but you should tell the patrols to look out for those things. I brought some back from when I went out. The people I was with didn't seem to be aware of this, but it's good to make use of things that you don't think could be useful.”
“That's great,” Mack said.
After a few more minutes discussion, the meeting ended, and most of the people went away happy, although Mack still was annoyed he hadn't resolved things with Gary. He hoped things wouldn't become a problem in the future, but he had enough things to worry about without having to force a resolution from somebody who wasn't willing to deal with him.
After they all had left, Mack went back to see Anna, who now was up, but still in the apartment, working on a painting. She was surprised to see him back so soon and kissed him delightedly.
“There's something I want to talk to you about,” he said, and sat on the couch. Anna got the sense this was something serious, so she put down her brush and joined him.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
“I think so,” he replied.
“I'm just worried about being the leader of New Haven. I feel as though I haven't been giving enough time to you, to us, really. I feel as though we're still getting used to being with each other again, and there are things we should talk about that we really haven't had the opportunity to do because other things keep coming up that I have to deal with. I've seen it happen to people around me, and I always swore to myself that if I was in a position of authority, I wouldn't let it affect my home life. I know this isn't exactly the same, but I don't want that to happen here. I want to make time for us.”
“I know you do, Mack, but New Haven is important, and I love that you're leading these people. It's what you were born to do.”
“But this is important, too,” he said, and took hold of her hand, linking their fingers together to make one fist.
“Yes, it is,” she said, smiling. She tilted her head down to kiss his hand, then shook her head, sending her blonde hair away from her heart-shaped face.
“So, what is it you would like to talk about?” she said.
Mack inhaled deeply and shifted his position on the couch, tensing up a little. This subject had been on his mind for a while, even before Anna had returned. He had known that once they were reunited they would have to have the conversation again, but now that the moment was upon him he found it difficult.
“I'm not sure we're quite back in the place where this is even an issue, but I wanted to bring up the subject with you just so we can get on the same page. Now, obviously before this whole thing happened, I was coming home and we were going to try starting a family. Is that something that's still on the table for you? Is it even right for us to think about bringing a child into the world? The first thought I had when the plane went down and all this started was that I wasn't ever going to see you again. But then it was that I may never have a child, not the child that you and I were planning to have anyway. Part of me hoped that by some miracle you already were pregnant and my child would be alive, but then I wondered if I'd even want one to live in this world.
“I've seen so much darkness, and so much fear, and I've already seen how it can affect some children. I've seen the haunted looks in their faces, and even if they don't quite understand what happened, they still know it's not right. There isn't any proper healthcare, and we're not even sure if we have enough food for everyone to make it through winter. I can't guarantee a baby is going to be safe. So, is it responsible for us to try bringing a child into the world? But then again, I think about what we had before, and what we have now, and part of me wants to bring that part of us into this life. I don't know, what do you think?”
But before Anna could answer, there was a rumbling above them. Then suddenly, torrential rain blasted down, screaming like a banshee. It slashed through the air and crashed against the windows like bullets, rattling against the walls and the roofs. Mack rushed to the window and saw the swirling black clouds of doom overhead, but he barely could see through the window as the rain was thick and unrelenting.
Chapter Thirteen
As soon as the meeting was over Grace caught up with Luis, who was waiting for her with a grim look on his face.
“When were you going to tell me about it?” he said as they turned. They
continued the conversation as they walked down the stairs and left City Hall.
“I wasn't aware I had to.”
“Are you serious? You can't just do something like this without talking to me about it first.”
“Like how you volunteered to be the deputy without talking to me?”
“That's different.”
“I don't see how.”
“That doesn't involve me going out into the city, putting myself in danger when we don't need to do so,” Luis said with desperation in his eyes.
Grace scoffed and shook her head, increasing her pace to try getting away from him, but Luis reached out a hand and pulled her back.
“We've been through so much on the road, why do you want to put yourself in danger again? Didn't you have enough of it? We can stay behind the barriers now. We actually have responsibilities here. Why do you want to go back out there?” he asked. Grace stared at him for a few moments, but could offer him no answer.
“I don't know,” she said.
“I just don't know. I need some time to think, some time to be alone. I'm sorry. I'll catch up with you later,” she said.
Luis thought about going after her, but he knew better. All he could do was turn away himself and get on with his day, much like everyone else. And like everyone else, neither of them saw the rain coming. The sky seemed to open up without any warning and pour out its heart and soul. During the summer, there had been little rain, so in some ways it was a blessing, but it was also a portent that the world would not allow them a moment's peace. The rain battered down upon New Haven. It poured so hard everyone dropped what they were doing and rushed inside. The storm even stirred the horses, who whinnied and stamped their hooves dramatically while their handlers tried calming them down. Those who knew the people out on patrol prayed they would find shelter out in the city. Everyone else just hoped the storm would abate soon so they could resume their duties.
Luis had gone to find Maggie, but she hadn't been there, and was forced to stay with Tristan. The two of them were closer in age than Luis would have liked to admit, but their experiences were a world apart. Both of them had been forced to grow up faster than they had anticipated, and both looked out the window at the deluge.
“It's really coming down out there,” Luis said.
“Yeah, hope Mom's okay,” Tristan said.
Then an awkward silence descended upon them as neither of them knew what to say to each other. The only sounds were those of the rain battering against the building. It was soon clear that this was no mere rain shower. At one point Luis opened the door to try seeing how strong the rain was, but when he held out his hand he instantly drew it back. He winced as he looked at red welts that had appeared on his skin. They were going to be there for a while, and knew they would have to make the best of the situation.
“How is it working with Mom?” Tristan asked.
“It's okay. She's a good cop, and she's teaching me a lot.”
“She always was good at her job,” Tristan said.
Luis knew something of their history, and was aware Maggie must have spent many nights away from her son.
“Did you ever think about following in her footsteps?” he asked.
“No, I didn't really know what I wanted to be. Guess I don't have to worry about that now.”
“I was the same. All my family were trying to get me to decide on my future, but I didn't feel ready for it. I barely knew myself. How was I going to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life? In the end, I turned my back on them and went walking. Thought I'd find myself. Then the world ended, and now I'm a deputy. Did not think that would happen in a million years.”
Tristan laughed. “I don't think I ever could turn my back on my family. My mom would kill me.”
“Yes, she would,” Luis said in a deadpan tone, then they erupted in laughter again.
“Do you ever miss them?” Tristan asked sincerely.
“If you had asked me that at the beginning of the end of the world, I would have said no. I know that sounds harsh. I mean, you're supposed to love your family more than anything, right? But I never felt as though I belonged with them. Frankly, I'm surprised they never told me I was adopted. But now, with everything we've been through, I would like to know that they're okay. Guess it's a moot point, though. I'm not going to see them again. Not everyone gets a happy reunion.”
A moment of solemnity passed between them, and the rain outside only served to accentuate the mood.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” Tristan said.
“Sure thing. To be honest, I think those are the only kind left.”
“Were you and Grace always together?”
“God, no,” Luis said, chuckling to himself.
“She hated me when we first met. She'd barely give me the time of day.”
“What changed?”
Luis shrugged. “I don't know. I guess we spent more time together, got to know each other a bit more. We saw each other for who we really were, and then it just happened.”
“How did you know that it was something you both wanted?”
“Is this about you and Sharon?” Luis asked.
“Maybe,” Tristan said, blushing.
“It's okay. Dating is always confusing, especially in a world like this. It's funny, really, because when all this happened, I thought that everyone was going to change. I mean, the world ended, right? But the longer this has gone on I think a lot has stayed the same, probably more than we realize. Shortly after I met Mack and Grace we came across a farmhouse. There was a girl who lived there, a really beautiful girl. The kind of girl who would have been way out of my league in any other circumstance, but we got to know each other and something happened. Then we had to move on, and I had the choice to either stay with her at the farm or continue with Mack and Grace.
“There was so much uncertainty, but I didn't think it was a good idea to put down roots just yet. I'd gone out on my own to see the world, and there still was so much to explore. At the time, I didn't think I ever could have a relationship with anyone in this world because we'd always be moving, and there always would be a new place. But it's not about the places, it's about the people. I had a crush on Grace from the moment I saw her, but it wasn't until later that I fell in love with her. I'm just lucky enough that she feels the same way about me.”
“But what about Sharon? She betrayed all of us,” Tristan said in a small voice.
“Yes, she did, but we've all done things we're not proud of. We've all made mistakes. You must decide if you're willing to accept her for what she is. Nobody is perfect, and you can't expect anyone to be perfect for you. We're all in the same boat. If you like her, then you shouldn't let it stop you because there's so much to gain and so little to lose. Hopefully, we all have long lives ahead of us, and there's plenty of time to make up for mistakes. I know a lot has happened between you and Sharon, but I think you still must have some feelings for her despite what she's done. Maybe you should give her the chance to make it up to you. You don't have to promise her anything, and nobody is going to think less of you for it.”
Tristan nodded and smiled. He seemed reassured by Luis' advice. “Now,” Luis continued, “if you can tell me how to deal with a girl who wants to run into danger, you let me know.”
Across New Haven, Saul and Freddie had ushered the kids into a building. Most of the kids looked frightened. Freddie and Saul tried reassuring them, but their attention kept being drawn to the storm. They were huddled together, shaking with fright. Their clothes were wet as they had been caught in the initial downpour, and though they only had been out in it for a few moments, the rain was so torrential that their clothes were soaked through. Freddie had managed to find some blankets to help dry them, and Saul said he would tell them a story, which he hoped would distract them.
“When I was younger, I used to be frightened of the storms. At first, my mom told me it was just God moving the furniture around, but that didn't seem to hel
p. Whenever I heard the rumble of thunder and saw the crackle of lightning outside I ran to hide anywhere I could. Then one day my father came to me and pulled me up on his knee so I could see outside the window. He pointed to the sky and spoke in a low, gentle tone. 'Saul,' he said, 'that's not anything to be frightened of. In fact, it's something to be celebrated. It means the world is alive, that it exists, and the fact that you're there to experience it means that you exist too, that you matter. It's a hell of a thing to witness a storm in its full fury. Yes, it's loud and it makes you feel so small, but you're witnessing nature's emotions. It's like the world is crying before your eyes and it's not a monster, it's beautiful.’ And since then, whenever I am around a storm I try to remember that,” he said, and the children seemed to calm down, and began telling stories of their own. Freddie leaned toward Saul and spoke in a low voice that the children couldn't hear.
“Was that a true story?” the counselor asked.
“It had truth to it. But instead of sitting me on his lap my dad threw me out into the storm. He said it would drown out my screaming, and it did,” Saul said. Freddie didn't have anything to say in response.
Maggie and Grace found themselves in the same building, retreating from the storm. Like the others, they talked about how strong the storm was. Then their conversation turned to other matters. Maggie was interested in why Grace had volunteered to go on patrol.
“Luis asked me the same thing,” Grace said.
“He's probably worried about you.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“That's not the point, and you know it.”
Grace sighed. “I guess I just want to feel that thrill of being out there again. It's all well and good sitting here in New Haven, but I don't feel like I really matter. I hate seeing all those people going out into the city when I should be one of them. I want them to know we're putting our lives on the line as well.”
“I think they know everything we've done. But you are helping. You can't do everything.”