The Proximity Principle

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The Proximity Principle Page 8

by Ken Coleman


  You Gain Real Experience

  Malcolm Gladwell popularized the importance of practice in his book Outliers when he introduced what he calls the 10,000-hour rule. The rule simply states that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert at anything. While that theory has come under some scrutiny in the last few years, the examples Gladwell uses in his book are pretty compelling. One of those is his story of The Beatles and how playing club shows helped them become one of the best rock bands in history.

  In the summer of 1960, The Beatles packed up and moved from their home in England to Hamburg, Germany. The first nightclub they signed to play in expected them to perform Monday through Friday for four and a half hours each night, and then on the weekends for six hours a night. And they did this for forty-eight nights straight! Talk about gaining some experience! Over the next two years, the band kept this exhausting schedule at various venues around the city, perfecting their craft, their sound, their style, and, of course, their famous haircuts. Those little nightclubs in Germany were more than just a place to practice; they were the start of an incredible climb that led to music sales of more than 178 million albums.37

  The Average Joe

  Now listen, I know what you’re probably thinking. Not everyone wants to be in a rock band, and certainly not everyone can drop everything to get experience in a place to practice like The Beatles did. I get it. But getting real experience doesn’t have to be that complicated. Let’s look at Jordan.

  Getting real experience doesn’t have to be complicated.

  Jordan loved coffee, but it wasn’t her passion. Her passion was working with children. She dreamed of a teaching career, and she was working nights as a barista to pay for her early childhood education degree at the local community college. Jordan enjoyed working with kids so much that she volunteered with her church’s children’s ministry, devoting several hours each weekend to serving children and their families. She loved what she was doing, and it showed. One of the families at her church noticed how good she was with the kids and asked her to be their personal nanny. Not only was Jordan able to get more real-life experience with school-aged kids, but it was a paid gig with free room and board! Jordan was able to quit the barista job and focus on practicing the skills and techniques she was learning in her early childhood education classes. Now she could truly pursue her passion—and enjoy her barista coffee again without having to make it herself!

  Or consider Frank. He worked in corporate finance where he discovered a passion for building and real estate. He didn’t want to leave his job, and he knew he had a lot to learn before jumping in full time. So he started small, planning and executing changes to his own home, eventually selling it for a profit. He ripped up and refinished floors, replaced drywall, tore out walls, remodeled the kitchen and baths, and bought more paint than he ever thought possible. Then after flipping almost a dozen personal residences where he could practice his skills and learn from his mistakes, he stepped out into building for others. Now he’s left his corporate job and has his own commercial building company.

  You Gain Feedback

  Let’s go back to Jordan, the barista-turned-nanny, for a minute. As Jordan continued her formal training to become a teacher, one of the requirements was to complete hours of student teaching. Student teachers spend time with a professional in the classroom where they can put theory into real practice to see if what they’ve read in textbooks works with actual students. As they get classroom experience, a professional teacher is there to guide them and give feedback. With an experienced teacher in the room to act as a safety net, student teachers can practice, fail, and try again. Most teachers would tell you that their time spent student teaching was invaluable. It gives them real-time feedback that they are then able to use in their own classrooms.

  Relying on feedback to practice and improve isn’t just for rookies.

  Professional athletes understand the value of feedback too. Practice time on the field isn’t just a place for conditioning, to do reps, or to grow as a team. It’s an opportunity to get feedback from their coaches and the other players. Relying on feedback to practice and improve isn’t just for rookies. It’s a way of life for seasoned athletes like Tom Brady,38 Kobe Bryant,39 and Serena Williams.40 They dedicate hours to studying game films to get both visual feedback and to hear their coach’s perspective on what went right or wrong. Then they apply that feedback to their practice time and scrimmages, trying out new techniques on the court or field, and conditioning and strengthening their bodies with workouts. But even the greatest athletes test out what they’ve learned in practice and in scrimmages. Why? Those are the places where they’re free to experiment, innovate, and make mistakes.

  Getting feedback on your work can be intimidating, especially when you’re stepping into something you’re so passionate about. But your place to practice doesn’t have to feel like a high-pressure situation. Many practice spaces aren’t even physical locations. Practice in a “virtual” space can be low-pressure—and convenient. I recently met Rachel, an editor who wants to be a published author. The distance between editor and author doesn’t seem that far, but even though she’s been editing professionally for years, Rachel didn’t feel confident submitting her work to publishers without some real writing experience. She really needed some feedback before she felt comfortable calling herself a writer. I suggested she begin posting some of her creative writing regularly on free online platforms. That way she can have her work read and critiqued in a non-threatening environment. Plus, she’d get used to writing goals and deadlines. Feedback from online readers seemed like a low-pressure idea, so she posted some of her writing, got some helpful suggestions from online readers, and continues to crank out content and look for opportunities to write.

  You Gain the Freedom to Fail

  Like Rachel, you’re probably passionate about your dream job. And the thought of losing that passion because of failure may scare the heck out of you. You might even prefer never to try rather than risk failure. But remember, you’ve got to call this for what it is: pride and fear. These are lies that threaten to keep you from moving closer to your dream job. Like I said earlier: success often happens not despite failure but because of failure. Failing is an essential part of practice. Naturally nobody wants to fail, but if you view your place to practice as an opportunity to safely fail, taking those risks will be easier.

  Jeff Bezos has made a name for himself not just as the CEO of Amazon, but for encouraging a culture of failure there. It’s not that Bezos likes to fail. He doesn’t. In fact, he even compares failure to having a root canal without anesthesia. That’s nobody’s idea of a good time. Regardless, Bezos celebrates failures at Amazon because it means things are happening. People are inventing. Creating. Trying. He understands that creativity and innovation are critical to success, and failure is a critical part of creativity and innovation.41 “If you only do things where you know the answer in advance, your company goes away,” Bezos says.42

  If you really want to reach the top of the mountain, you’ve got to adopt Bezos’s philosophy on failure: to succeed you must try out new things and mess up. And as you look for places to practice, try to find places that understand failure is an essential part of the process. This can actually speed up your development. My friend Brady told me a great story about his first year interning at the accounting firm where he’s now a partner. He made a terrible mistake on a receivables spreadsheet that could’ve cost his firm thousands of dollars. But the firm had controls in place for interns. His boss caught his mistake and taught him how to correct it. It wasn’t the last mistake he’d make, but he was able to learn a valuable lesson without it impacting the company—and all under the safety net of the company. So as hard as it is, you’ve got to walk forward even into uncertainty. You won’t have all the answers and you will fall down, but you’ll learn from your mistakes and become better because of them.

  Practicing without Pressure

  Along with practici
ng in a place that encourages failure, it’s helpful to practice in a place with little pressure, in a place where the stakes aren’t so high. Kevin Hagewood—his clients call him “Kelvis”—is co-owner of an elite men’s barbershop called Nashville Beard and Barber. Kevin has won awards for his beard styling. This creative barber spent years mastering his techniques. He first went to barber school where certification requires practice on mannequins or live models before the students ever give their first haircut to an actual client. Imagine being the one sitting in the barber’s chair as a guinea pig for someone who had never practiced the art of a straight razor shave. No thank you! I’d rather my barber know exactly how to handle a razor—and to have plenty of practice on people other than me first. I’m guessing most people would agree, and that’s why practicing on mannequins allows barbers to develop their skills in a place where there’s very little risk and pressure. There’s no doubt this gave Hagewood some of the creative freedom he needed to become a master barber and an award-winning beard stylist. This type of environment—where the pressure isn’t so heavy it paralyzes you—can be both freeing and empowering. It will help you refine your craft so that you can win!

  You Gain Wins

  As important as it is to be in a place where you’re free to fail, you also want to find a place where you can get some wins. These wins will give you the confidence you need to keep climbing your mountain and will give you opportunities that you haven’t had before.

  When you’re turning over rocks, look for places where your success adds value to the entire team or company.

  My friend Amy is a great example of this. Amy loved interior decorating and wanted to launch a company staging homes for real estate agents. Because she had no real marketable experience, she created her own place to practice by calling real estate agents and offering to stage their houses for free. “Free” held serious appeal for these folks, so they took a chance on Amy. The risk level was relatively low, and there was certainly room to fail, but Amy was passionate, knowledgeable, and professional in her approach. It was a safe and easy way to get real experience and gain some wins. Amy did such an unbelievable job with those first stagings that the real estate agents called her back—again and again, and now she runs one of the most sought-after staging companies in town!

  Personal wins like Amy’s are the fun part of practicing your craft. But it’s even more rewarding when you can help your peers win in their place to practice too. It also shows that you aren’t only in it for yourself and that you are a team player. So when you’re turning over rocks, look for places where your success adds value to the entire team or company. James did this and called my show to share his success story with me. He made the practice squad of an NFL franchise as a defensive lineman in his first year out of college. James was part of the scout team—a team whose sole purpose is to prepare the starters for the next game by learning and imitating the upcoming opponent’s offense and defense. In this role, James was able to improve his techniques, and with each practice, he got stronger and better. As a result, he was able to seriously challenge the starting offensive linemen who had to practice against him each week. Because of James’s hard work, he was able to grow in his own skills and knowledge of the game and help the starters get more prepared for their big games on Sunday.

  Both Amy and James put themselves in places where they could not only get practice in, but also achieve personal wins while adding value to the peers and professionals around them. That’s the best kind of win-win—when people get to experience the success of their own win while helping others achieve their own.

  FINDING A PLACE TO PRACTICE

  Finding a place to practice takes dedication and grit, but don’t be afraid to start small. Remember, every stage prepares you for the next. It will take some sacrifice, but every worthy endeavor does, especially on the climb to your dream job.

  My Place to Practice

  As I was looking for places to practice, some of the opportunities I found really tested my resolve. One of those was working as an announcer for high school football games in Georgia. I took this gig while I was attending the eight-week class in Jeff’s broadcasting school, so my time was already at a minimum. And it was an hour away from my house! But the chance to get in front of a mic was compelling enough for me to make the sacrifice.

  I had an interesting mix of emotions on that long drive to the school. Obviously I was excited about the opportunity. I’d been practicing this type of play-by-play announcing in class, and this was my chance to actually do it and see what I was made of. I was also nervous and embarrassed. I mean, what would people think of a guy in his thirties spending his Friday nights in a tiny booth doing play-by-play for a high school football game? Some nights as I was driving to the games, I actually thought about turning around. But I didn’t.

  And when the pre-game broadcast started, it was game on—literally! At first whistle, I came alive. My fears subsided because I had done my preparation. Now I’ll admit my announcing was not stellar, but my effort sure was. My entire attitude shifted as I focused on practicing what I’d been learning. And I loved sports, so this was fun for me! The game flew by and I was a bit disappointed when the final buzzer sounded. Overall I did pretty well, made no major mistakes, and felt pretty confident that I could get a lot better.

  Offering Your Services

  On your climb, you may have to knock on doors and offer your services to a number of people in order to find a place to practice. You may find a gig that’s an hour away. And you may have to offer your services for free. But if you truly want to practice, you are going to have to go out and ask ten people in order to find four who will give you an opportunity!

  My friend Jennifer got her foot in the door by offering her services for free. Jennifer wanted to be a floral designer for weddings and large events. To get some practice she offered to do flower arrangements for free at several weddings as long as the client paid for the cost of the actual flowers. As a single mom, putting in extra time that she wasn’t getting paid for was tough, but it was exactly the right place for her to practice coordinating flower arrangements on a larger scale. That practice gave her the experience she needed to open a small business offering floral design services in her home state. And she’s also the preferred vendor for some of the nicest resorts in the south. Not a bad payoff for a few free wedding gigs!

  Brian is another friend who volunteered his time for an opportunity. Brian wanted to cross over from book marketing to marketing music, so he began volunteering to help with events at a local record label for free every evening after working his day job. It was a demanding and difficult phase of his climb. Volunteering every evening meant he had to say no to nearly everything else in his life. But he knew this phase was temporary and it would give him an opportunity to learn from and connect with people in the music industry. And now, just a few years later, he’s the vice president of marketing at a prominent record label.

  It Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated

  Practice generally doesn’t pay well, it usually isn’t glamorous, and those reps don’t come with a corner office.

  Finding a place to practice doesn’t have to be complicated. If you want to pursue a career in digital marketing, help a friend set up his or her website. Want to become a mechanic? Start by working on your own car. If you want to speak publicly, consider joining Toastmasters and find opportunities to speak at schools, nonprofits, and business clubs. If you’d like to open your own nursery selling plants, try working a shift on the weekend at your local garden center in addition to your day job. And if your dream is to work at a recording studio, take a gig helping set up equipment at a local music venue a night a week. No matter what you want to do, find a space to get practice!

  And keep in mind, practice generally doesn’t pay well, it usually isn’t glamorous, and those reps don’t come with a corner office. It requires discipline, passion, and a commitment to your craft to work through this stage of your journey, not to
mention setting aside pride and fear. But once you get experience and begin to build your skill set, you’re going to start seeing your hard work pay off with opportunities and open doors. Then you’ll be ready to start looking toward the next stage of the climb: finding a place to perform!

  The Proximity Process

  1. Make a list of companies or organizations you would love to work for.

  2. Research whether these places offer internships or accept volunteers.

  3. Determine how your skills could add value to those around you, then make a list of ways you can get experience by offering your services for free.

  Chapter 10

  A Place to Perform

  The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. And don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.

  —Steve Jobs

  If you’ve ever closely followed comedians and musicians, you’ve likely heard them talk about doing college tours when they were starting out. Some of these experiences are pretty hilarious, even though they were often miserable for these folks! They would sometimes have to drive hundreds of miles in one day to get from one university gig to the next, and they’d never quite know what to expect when they’d arrive. There are hilarious stories of musicians and comedians showing up at one campus for an outdoor show in snow flurries for eight people and then driving twelve hours overnight to show up the next day in the corner of a college cafeteria during parent weekend!

  Emmy Award-winning comedian Sara Schaefer told of some of her experiences: “One time, a school insisted on dramatically raising me up out of an orchestra pit through a cloud of smoke. . . . Another time, it was just me in an almost empty student lounge trying to shout over the blaring TVs (because the moody student assigned to me ‘didn’t know’ how to turn them off). I’ve pretty much seen it all.”43 Most of the time, these types of gigs are less than ideal, the tour schedules are grueling, the pay is lousy, and the audiences are less than attentive. But the interesting thing is, there’s a lot of competition to get hired for these spots. These performers will do almost anything to get in front of a live audience.

 

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