by Ken Coleman
HOW IT WORKED FOR ME
Now listen, I know this seems like a lot of work just to get a few connections, but I can promise you, these three simple steps work! I know it works because when I first started thinking about how to get into broadcasting, I didn’t use this method. And I ran into a wall. I got nowhere. When I decided to take my first step into broadcasting I thought I’d cold-call a manager of a local radio station in Georgia. When he didn’t return my call the first time, I called again. And again. I just knew this manager could help me get my own show. But I didn’t know him personally. Looking back on it, I’m sure he thought I was a complete lunatic . . . and a determined one at that. It’s no wonder why he didn’t respond to my messages. Since leaving messages wasn’t working, I had to come up with a new strategy. So I sat down and started creating a web of connections. I brainstormed my contacts and wrote down all the people I knew. And let me just tell you, I’m not a natural list maker, but I wanted to find just one connection to that manager.
As I went through the names I’d come up with, one name in particular stuck out: Elizabeth. Something pinged in my brain as I remembered meeting with her months earlier as a favor to a mutual friend. He connected us because Elizabeth wanted some advice on getting sponsorships for a nonprofit she was working with. And because my wife Stacy and I had our own sponsorship sales company and did this on a contract basis for several organizations, my friend knew I could help out his friend. At the time, I was hosting a highly successful podcast for a leadership conference, and when Elizabeth and I were talking, she told me she’d listened in and enjoyed it. In passing, she mentioned that her family owned a radio station. I remembered that piece of information from talking to her and was now wondering if Elizabeth was connected to the very station where I’d been leaving messages for the manager.
I called Elizabeth that morning and told her my dream was to do radio. I explained that I had an idea for a show, but I hadn’t been able to connect with the general manager. She told me her brother was none other than the CEO of the radio station, and I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. I couldn’t believe it! Elizabeth said she’d connect us, and just one week later, I was sitting in his office! Just one week after sitting down with my list of connections, I was pitching the CEO of the radio station my idea of a weekly show. Long story short, he liked my idea and said he’d give it a chance. Then he slotted me for Saturdays. And that was how the very first version of The Ken Coleman Show came to be. So a connection I made as a favor to a friend returned itself to me many months later as one of the biggest breaks of my career—all because I took the time to create a web of connections.
A WORTHY INVESTMENT
Make a list of all your connections, and you’ll realize you’re already closer than you thought to the people who can help you.
When you take the time and energy to work through this step, you’ll create a strong network of people who can help you reach the next level of your climb. Don’t think you can skip it and get there on your own. You can’t. The connections you make with people are critical to getting you where you want to be. And don’t become overwhelmed by the process. If you’ll just sit down and make a list of all the people you know, you’ll realize you’re already closer than you thought to the people who can help you. Put aside the fear of rejection and remember that you’re only asking people for a connection. If you hit a dead end in one circle of friends, just move on to the next one on your list. Occasionally you can catch lightning in a bottle and one or two meetings could put you in a great place. But more often than not, this takes time. Stick with it. The practice of making new connections, meeting new professionals and producers, and then learning from these pros is so important to catching opportunities. You’re investing to get closer to work that matters to you! I’ve benefitted from using this approach over and over in my career, and I’m certain it can work for you.
Chapter 13
Making Your Connections Count
People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.
—Maya Angelou
Now that you know how to get connected to people, let’s focus on how to approach those connections the right way. Remember, there are five groups of people you need to build relationships with:
Professors teach you the basics.
Professionals model the way.
Mentors provide wisdom and accountability.
Peers push you toward excellence.
Producers give you opportunities.
Real relationships cannot be manufactured or artificially mass-produced. They take time and intention if they’re going to grow. Like with everything else, the more you put into your relationships, the more impactful they can be.
As you are looking for opportunities through your connections, ask yourself two questions:
1. Where can I learn?
2. Where can I get experience?
Real relationships cannot be manufactured or artificially mass-produced.
Answering these questions will move you into proximity to the people who can help you. But here’s something you need to know: you’re going to have to boldly outwork everyone else. Why? Because like I said at the beginning of this book, no one is spending their time thinking about how they can help you get to your dream job. So as you begin making connections, think about the 250 resumés that arrive in the inbox of hiring managers for every job. I’m telling you, the competition is fierce!
BE BOLD AND AUDACIOUS, BUT NOT OBNOXIOUS
Here’s what I want you to tell yourself in order to maintain your edge: Everyday there are people out there working harder than me to get the job I want. It’s up to you to put in the effort to get where you want to be! No matter what opportunities come your way, you should treat them like a job, do your work as if people are watching, always give it your best effort, and understand that no task is beneath you. My advice is to be bold and audacious without being obnoxious. It’s like the young James Farmer Jr. says in one of my favorite movies, The Great Debaters: “We do what we got to do, so we can do what we want to.” Get ready to do what it takes!
Be Bold
The truth is that putting yourself out there and boldly working through The Proximity Principle isn’t easy. If it was, everyone would be doing it. Far too many people are too timid when going after their dream job. Opportunities pass by, and sometimes, after identifying the right people, those limiting beliefs of fear or pride stop us in our tracks. Don’t let your limiting beliefs keep you from taking bold steps toward your dream. What does this mean practically? It means this: to overcome fear and pride, you have to put yourself out there and do whatever it takes to prove yourself. Don’t worry about appearing too aggressive. There are ways to keep that in check.
Be Audacious
Audacious isn’t a word we use very often, but I like it—and especially in this context. Merriam-Webster defines it as “intrepidly daring” and “recklessly bold.”54 Being audacious about pursuing your dream job means you’re driven by courage and conviction. You are bold and confident, but at the same time, you maintain a posture of humility. You understand your need for others, and you genuinely want to learn from them. If you approach people with this kind of hungry and humble mind-set, people will never mistake your audacity for aggression.
Being audacious also means you bring value to the connections and relationships you build instead of solely approaching them from a transactional standpoint. I remember finding a Zig Ziglar quote as a senior in high school that changed my whole outlook on this idea. It says: “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” It’s no wonder that statement stuck with me all these years! That kind of thinking is so counter to what we are used to hearing from culture, but, man, shouldn’t we all want to live that way?
Being audacious about pursuing your dream job means you’re driven by courage and conviction.
Kaleb,
a caller to my show, is a great example of this Ziglar principle. Kaleb worked in pharmaceutical sales but wanted to transition to selling medical devices. He identified a few of the companies that he hoped to work for, created a web of connections, and found some producers he wanted to meet with. One of those producers was a local sales manager named Russ. Kaleb wanted to spend some time talking with Russ about different sales tactics specific to both industries, but he hadn’t had the chance to touch base in several weeks. The mutual friend that helped connect Kaleb to Russ had mentioned that Russ was a huge hockey fan, so Kaleb was bold enough to buy some game tickets. Kaleb called the show right after he purchased the tickets so I’m not sure how this turned out. But I thought it was a creative way for Kaleb to connect and show he wasn’t just in it for what he could get out of Russ.
Don’t Be Obnoxious
Everyone has that one person they think of when they hear the word obnoxious. Am I right? You’re thinking of some annoying person right now, aren’t you? Well, for our purposes—climbing Mount Everest—I like to think of obnoxious behavior as audacity without humility and self-awareness. These people are pushy and braggy.
Some people are obnoxious because they’re schmoozers. You know the type. Everyone they work with knows they didn’t get their job or the big promotion based on performance, but they sure act like they did. They’re brownnosers. Name-droppers. When they talk, there may be quite a few eyerolls from others in the room. Schmoozers don’t recognize that time and relationships are extremely valuable. They’re in it for themselves and can turn people off with their aggressive personalities.
Other people are obnoxious because their passion is on overdrive. They’re so focused on the path ahead that they unintentionally bulldoze everyone on it. I truly believe that these people are completely unaware of how their behavior affects those around them. They’re just on full throttle and have a really hard time taking it down a notch.
As painful and embarrassing as it is to admit, early on in my climb to a broadcasting career, I was a classic case of this. I was so hyper-focused on my goals that I would accelerate from zero to sixty as quickly as possible, even when meeting with key people who could open doors of opportunity for me. I wanted to learn as much as I could so badly that sometimes I wasn’t patient enough to really listen. I wanted to push past their questions and get right to the opportunity. Some people appreciated my enthusiasm, but many times I came on way too strong.
I once had the chance to meet with a regional personality for Turner Sports. I was trying to get an entry-level TV gig, and in order to get an on-camera role, I needed a demo of myself. This guy was a pretty big deal and was kind enough to offer his help. I was extremely grateful that he took the time to teach me some tricks, like how to read a teleprompter and how to announce sports highlights. And I was humbled that he was giving me a chance to sit behind the desk and practice doing the highlights. But let me tell you, that’s not what my behavior indicated. I got to the studio before his show, and as we talked, my passion and a whole lot of words just spewed out of me—and all over him. And not in a good way. At the time, I had no real experience, but that didn’t stop me from serial name-dropping and trying to impress him with my accomplishments. To make matters worse, I didn’t come prepared with any questions.
Man, talk about obnoxious! I know he was put off by me because after he was done with his broadcast, his attitude had shifted. He kept his distance, and while he did throw me in the chair to let me practice for my demo, he didn’t offer any feedback. So what was my critical mistake? I realized later that I hadn’t gone in there to build a relationship. My heart was in the right place, but I needed to be way more intentional with my behavior by showing humility and respect.
THREE RULES TO MAKING IT COUNT
If you will approach each connection with the idea that you are there to build a relationship, you can avoid that same embarrassment I felt. You can be bold and audacious without being obnoxious. To do this, you just need to follow three simple rules:
1. Listen and Learn
2. Be Humble
3. Add Value
Listen and Learn
Since you’re rarely going to impress people with what you tell them about yourself, the rule of “show me—don’t tell me” definitely applies when you’re making connections. Show people who you are through your actions and attitude rather than listing off your achievements. That means you shouldn’t do all the talking. Give people time to teach and share what they know with you. That’s the point of you meeting with them in the first place: to learn from them! Go prepared with thoughtful questions to ask, and then be quiet and listen. This will truly speak volumes!
Be Humble
Second, be humble in your posture and tone when you connect with others. Approach them with gratitude for any time and information they’re willing to share with you. If you come across as entitled or deserving of their time and attention, not only will you turn them off, but you will miss the chance to build a relationship and miss out on a great opportunity. These folks have the ability to help you get in proximity of your dream job and they deserve your respect and thanks.
Add Value
Ideally when you connect with people, you should add value to them or help them in some way. You could offer to serve or volunteer for their work or organization. Just remember that even the smallest opportunity they give you needs to be met with your best effort and hardest work. You will be surprised by how only a few hours of your time can make a lasting impression on them.
Even the smallest opportunity needs to be met with your best effort and hardest work.
And if you are only meeting them once to connect face-to-face, you can still add value just by valuing them and their time. Everyone enjoys when their opinion or expertise is being sought out. Show how excited you are to get to learn from them. Avoid focusing on your goals and focus on them as a source of knowledge and wisdom. Even small, one-time connections can go a long way in growing you and helping you take the next step forward.
HELPING OTHERS WILL HELP YOU
As you begin building real, genuine relationships with others, remember that this isn’t a solo climb. You can’t reach the summit alone. It’s going to require a whole lot of help from the people around you, so making your connections count is critical! Like I’ve said already, it will take a lot of patience and intentionality. But the work and time you put into this can lead to some of your greatest opportunities. You have to be humble, and you have to be willing to listen to and learn from others. They have a lot to teach you. Focus first on them and how you can help them before focusing on how they can help you.
In your journey to your dream job, you can have all the passion in the world, but it will still require real audacity and humility to yield the relationships and results you need to get to your goal. Be bold, daring, and fearless as you look for ways to make your connections count. If you can keep in mind that helping others will also help you reach your own summit, you’ll find your climb to the top will be more rewarding overall!
Chapter 14
Seizing the Opportunity
I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
—Abraham Lincoln
The Proximity Principle will bring you face to face with opportunities. That I can promise you. But I can also promise that you’re going to need to work really hard to get those opportunities. You first have to put yourself around the right people—professors, professionals, mentors, peers, and producers. Then you’ve got to find the right places to learn and practice. And when you are finally ready to move on to find a place to perform or grow, you’ll have to accomplish one really important thing: landing the interview.
This is where it gets fun. I love helping people who have worked really hard to get to their dream job only to hit a wall when it comes to actually landing an interview. That’s exactly where Kristen was the day she called my show. She was frustrated. Kristen told me that she had sent out fifty resumés in five
days and still hadn’t received a single response. When I pressed her for a little more information, she confessed that she had no personal connection to any of the people she’d sent resumés to. She didn’t have a single friend, acquaintance, friend of a friend, or even a friend of a coworker employed at any of the places she was targeting in her job search. She was feeling completely discouraged and was beginning to question if she’d ever land an interview.
Blasting out your resumé to people you don’t know is the worst way to land an interview.
The good news for Kristen was that the lack of response had nothing to do with her personally. Her resumé was just stuck in a gigantic pile with hundreds of other unread resumés! Kristen’s problem is extremely common. Nearly every week on my radio show, people call in to express their exasperation over the lack of response they’ve received to the gazillion resumés they’ve sent out. But here’s the deal. Blasting out your resumé to people you don’t know is the worst way to land an interview. This just isn’t how resumés are supposed to work.