The bakery was silent except the hum of the exhaust fan above the oven. “I can see the allure, but you have to tell someone there about your health. What if—”
“I know, Mama. I’ll tell someone soon, but for now I feel great. I’m happy for the first time in years. I’ve even got a date with an amazing man. I want to pretend I’m normal for a little while longer.”
“You’ve got a date? Who is this boy, and what does he do?”
“At thirty-four, he’s a man, not a boy.” Katie relived in her mind the things Bowie did to her body last night. No boy would ever have those skills. A shiver of excitement raced through her at the possibility of a repeat tonight. “He used to be a soldier but was injured and returned home.”
“What does he do for a living?”
If Katie had been home, her parents would have had a dossier on Bowie. “He runs a bait and tackle shop.” She could imagine her mom’s eye roll. Sophia Middleton would never approve of Bowie Bishop. He wasn’t white collar and rich. While Katie was privileged. Bowie was a commoner.
“He’s a good man. Works hard. Loves his family.”
“A bait shop?” Leave it to her mom to hear what she wanted.
“Yes, he taught me how to fish. He went rowing with me. We ate bologna sandwiches. I’m doing things I only dreamed about.”
“You could travel first class around the world. Why are you settling for bologna?” She could almost see the curl of her mother’s lip. The look she made when she tasted something foul.
Katie let out a frustrated growl. She’d spent a good portion of her life in a hospital. Never once did her parents’ money buy her health or happiness. When her heart failed and machines kept her blood pumping through her veins, their money couldn’t buy her a new heart. She waited on the list like everyone else.
“I choose bologna. Bologna may be common, but it tastes good. It feels right.” They were no longer talking about food, but lifestyles. “You’re caviar and Cristal. I’m peanut butter and jelly. I always have been. I’m happy. Be happy for me.”
“You know what?” her mom said with more joy and resignation than she’d heard in her lifetime. “You’ve been through hell and back. If heaven is a small town in Colorado, I’m happy you found it, but don’t forget, caviar and Cristal will always be waiting for you.”
“I love you.” She pressed her lips to the receiver of the phone. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too, Princess. You let me know when I can visit you. Surely, there’s an airport nearby.”
Katie shook her head. One visit from Sophia Middleton would turn Aspen Cove on its ear. That might be worth the visit alone.
“There’s an airport where Daddy’s plane can land in Copper Creek. I’ll let you know when I’m ready.”
“Call me next week?”
“Of course.” Katie hadn’t missed a phone call with her mom yet. Despite her need to be independent, she also needed the reassurance that when push came to shove, her mom would be there for her. “Talk to you soon.”
“Katie?” her mom said before hanging up. “I’m so damn proud of you.”
Sophia Middleton never cursed, so when she said “damn”, it emphasized the importance of her statement.
Katie looked around the old bakery. Although the building was a gift, she’d built her dozen-muffins-a-day business into a hundred-muffins-a-day empire. She was literally rolling in the dough that made her life here in Aspen Cove possible.
At six o’clock, she ran down the stairs to answer the back door. Taking up the entire door frame was Bowie dressed in black jeans and a gray T-shirt. In his hands was a mixed bouquet of daffodils and tulips. An odd combination of flowers that somehow worked.
“Are you ready?” He turned to the side and offered his arm.
“I need my purse.” She started up the steps, flowers in hand, but he caught her by the thin belt cinching the waist of her dress. She placed the buds on the steps by her feet.
“You don’t need anything.” He spun her around and pulled her into his chest.
“Not true,” she mumbled against the soft cotton of his shirt. “I need a kiss.”
He circled her waist with his hands and lifted her like a rag doll into the air until her lips were close to his. “You want a kiss, or need a kiss?”
“What does it matter?”
He kissed her forehead and let her slide down his body. “Oh … it matters. Want comes from a place of selfishness. Need comes from a place of desperation.”
With her chest glued to his stomach, she tilted her head back and looked into his eyes. “Which one gets me a better kiss?”
“Are you sure you were a data entry person and not a negotiator?”
“Kiss me.” She tilted her mouth to his. “I’m desperate.”
He pressed his lips to hers, and holy hell, if it didn’t send a bolt of heat and desire straight to her core.
“Like this?” He left her lips and pressed open mouth kisses down the column of her neck until his lips rested on the pulse point.
Katie stepped back and lifted her hand to her heart. It pounded out a strong tattoo against her palm. “Help me, Jesus.” Normally at one hundred heartbeats per minute, her heart raced beyond that now. “Your kisses are deadly.”
“Maybe, but you’ll die happy.” He gave her a panty-dropping smile. She loved when his smile came from inside and lit up his outside. “Let’s go. Dalton is making a special dinner for us, being as it’s our first date and all.”
Moments later, they were seated in the corner booth. Everything was special, from the cloth napkins to the tiny tea light set on top of an overturned wineglass in the center of the table. Bowie opened a bottle of her favorite sparkling water and poured them each a glass.
“You look beautiful,” Bowie said. He lifted his glass in a toast. “To our first date?”
She tapped his glass and sipped. The cool bubbles tickled as they made their way down. The whole idea of a first date with Bowie was both intriguing and ridiculous. The curls that lay on her shoulders shook with her blooming laughter.
“Do you think it’s odd we kissed before we shared a meal?” She looked around the mostly empty diner, making sure no one could hear her. “We slept together before we had a date?”
Bowie reached across the table and covered her hands with his. “I owe you an apology, Duchess. I told you you’d never be more than a good time. I was wrong. You’re more.” He rubbed his thumbs over the tops of her hands. Each time he touched her, every cell in her body danced. “My words were disrespectful. I’m sorry.”
Dalton appeared with two plates. They weren’t the chicken-fried steak, blue-plate special on the menu, but a perfectly cooked filet with grilled asparagus and a fully loaded baked potato.
“Save room for dessert,” Dalton said before he turned and left them alone in their quiet little corner.
While they ate, Katie thought about his words. “You don’t owe me an apology. I was on board. You can’t claim to be a victim if you’re involved in the crime.”
“Maybe not, but you deserve more. I offered so little.”
She picked up a spear of asparagus and licked the salty spices off. Bowie didn’t take his eyes off her tongue.
“I knew you would be worth the risk.” She bit the flowered end of the stem and hummed. “So good.”
Bowie’s cheeks blushed. “I loved those words last night. That and when you called my name are in a tie for the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. Then there’s the ‘Yes, yes, yes.’ That’s up there, too.”
Katie could feel heat rise to her cheeks. How many times had she closed her eyes today and relived the moments of pleasure he gave her last night? Could she make it through a meal and not want more? Would her feelings be considered wants or needs?
“I need a kiss.” The words came out throaty and sexy.
“Need, or want?” He laid his silverware next to his half-eaten meal.
“Need.”
The way her body vibrated insi
de was like the withdrawal of a drug. She was a Bowie junkie after one hit. She took a sip of water, hoping the cold carbonation would cool the heat bubbling inside.
He lifted himself from his side of the booth, moved next to her, and licked her lips. “You taste like a strawberry.”
Dalton walked over mid-kiss. “Should I pack this shit up?”
Bowie’s lips never left hers, but she saw him give Dalton a thumbs up.
“Will do,” Dalton said on the tail end of his laugh. “I see you got dessert covered.”
The moment he left, Katie broke the kiss. “Bowie?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Take me home and disrespect me some more.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Mornin’, son.” Ben walked into the kitchen and pulled a mug from the cabinet. “Sleep well?” He lifted one eyebrow and smiled.
Bowie hardly slept at all. It had been that way for weeks. He couldn’t get enough of Katie. They spent every moment they could together. They worked next door to each other. They dined together each night and loved on each other every chance they got. When she slept, he watched over her and worried.
This was why he’d promised himself he’d never fall in love again. Love did crazy shit to the brain, not to mention the heart.
“Me? What about you?” He reached past his father for a cup and tried to beat him to the coffee pot, but Ben was too quick. He’d already popped in his K-cup and pressed the start button. “You just getting home?” His father hadn’t been spending much time at home, which left the house for Bowie to use as he pleased.
“It’s not like I can bring her here. First off, you and Katie seem to have the nocturnal lease on the place. Second, I don’t think I could do that to your mom. This was her house.”
Bowie understood that sentiment. Although he’d become comfortable with the bakery, he couldn’t bring himself to go upstairs to the place that was intended to be his and Brandy’s starter home. To make love to Katie in the apartment would seem disrespectful to Brandy’s memory. He knew he was being ridiculous considering it had only been a drawing on paper when she died.
Bowie picked up his dad’s steaming hot mug of coffee and replaced it with his empty cup. “Do you think you’ll ever get over the loss?” He leaned against the harvest gold counter and waited while the machine spit and sputtered out a cup of perfection.
“Get over it?” His dad shook his head. “Nope. How could you?” He walked to the table and took a seat. Reaching into the fruit bowl, he grabbed a banana and peeled it open. “The best you can hope for is to live with it.”
Bowie joined his father at the table. He turned his chair toward the window and watched the rising sun reflect off the lake. The water was still and reflected the orange glow of the sun like a mirror, making the water look like fire. Only the ripples of feeding fish disrupted the glasslike surface.
“Is that fair to others?”
Ben took a bite of his banana and chewed. A thoughtful expression of calm crossed his face. “Life isn’t fair, son.” He pulled the peel down and took another bite. As he chewed the fruit, it appeared he chewed on his thoughts, too. “Was it fair you got shot? Was it fair life took away your mother and your fiancée on the same day? That your father turned into a drunk? You can’t worry about fair as far as life goes.”
Bowie pulled in a deep breath and exhaled. “I know life isn’t fair, but I want to be. Am I being fair to Katie?”
Ben chuckled. “Katie seems pleased with the arrangement.”
In the distance, Bowie watched a rowboat cut through the water, leaving a wake behind. That’s what he felt like. Katie had cut through the calm he faked. Everything inside him felt unsettled and turbulent in a good way. She made him want more than mere existence. He wanted her.
“When I’m with her, I’m so happy, Dad. She’s amazing. We have so much fun together. It’s all so easy and so hard at the same time.” He leaned back in the chair and kicked up his feet on the empty chair beside him.
“You deserve happiness, Bowie. You’re too young to be alone. Hell, I’m too young to be alone.”
“Being alone is safe.”
His dad shook his head. “That’s what I thought, too, but it’s not safe. Being alone is simply lonely.”
Bowie looked out on the lake and spoke in a whisper. “It’s in the quiet moments when I struggle. I watch her sleep, and my gut twists because I’m afraid to lose her, too. Letting her in was dangerous.”
Ben sat his cup down and reached out to Bowie. He laid a solid hand on his shoulder and kept it there. “How many purple hearts do you have?”
“Three.”
“You didn’t get those because you were afraid. You got them because despite the danger you faced, you dove in head first.” Ben squeezed Bowie’s shoulder before he dropped his arm. “How many bullets did you take?”
He knew where his father was going with his line of questioning. He’d taken seven bullets, but not one hurt as much as the hole shot through his heart when Brandy died. “I don’t know if I could handle another hit like that, Dad.”
Ben sighed. “I get it. I’ve lived your pain. I tried to drown mine in alcohol. You tried to erase yours with adrenaline. How’d that work out for you? My solution got me a pickled liver and a bad reputation. What’d yours get you?”
“A few medals and a lot of scars.”
“All I’m saying is, you're not the kind of man who hides. That was me. I hid behind a bottle. You ran into the thick of things and made a difference.”
“I’m no hero.” Bowie shook his head so hard, his brain ached. “Initially, I ran into the melee hoping I’d be able to join Brandy. After a while, I ran in because I wanted no one to feel the profound loss I felt at losing someone.”
“How many lives did you save?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s hard to say.” Bowie lost count of the men he’d carried on his back. The flow of blood he’d staunched with as little as a shoelace. The hands he held while a medevac swooped in for rescue. The faces blurred together. The names sounded the same. Saving his men wasn’t an option. It was what he did.
“Son, you’re a hero.”
“No, I’m just a man.” He finished his coffee and looked down at the grounds in the bottom of his cup. He was as significant and insignificant as one of the little brown specs. It took every single one working together to make a decent cup of coffee. One ground made nothing. He thought of that commercial that said, “An army of one.” Everything good in his life came in multiples. There was no army if there was only one. That thought was the moment of clarity he’d needed.
“Do you love her?”
“I’m not sure I’m there yet. All I know is, she makes it easier to breathe. It's so confusing. How did you let go of Mom?”
Ben placed both hands flat on the table and leaned forward. “I’ll never let her go. She’s a piece of me. I’ve tucked her safely into a corner of my heart, where she’ll live forever.”
“My heart is crowded with two women battling for space.”
A crease etched into Ben’s forehead. “There’s no battle, son. Brandy has a place in your memory and your heart, but she’s no longer in your life. How lucky are you to find two women worthy of your love? When it comes to life and death, choose life, Bowie. Katie is alive. Be alive with her. There is something magical about her. She’s an angel who came here to remind us how to live.” Ben stood and left his son to consider his words.
Bowie sat alone at the kitchen table. His dad was right. Bowie had lived for so long in the past, it had eaten into his future. He had denied himself everything, but he wouldn’t deny himself Katie and what they could have. There was still time for them.
He’d spent years trying to hold on to a piece of Brandy, but he had to let her go. Tonight after work, he’d visit the cemetery and say goodbye to his first love so he could make room for his second.
It wouldn’t be easy. He hadn’t been to the gravesite since the day they buried he
r. He still had nightmares of the crash and how the icy water seeped into the car while he tried to open the doors. His dreams were always silent, except for the gurgle of water exchanging places with oxygen in the car. He broke the window and tore his cheek, trying to get them out. On the icy shore, he covered them with his bloodied body, hoping to warm the death from their skin.
His mom had been gone since impact, but Brandy somehow hung on to life by the thread of a brain stem. She lingered in the hospital for three days, all but dead without the help of modern medicine. He never understood why Bea waited so long to let her go when the doctors said there was no hope. It was as if she expected resurrection on the third day, and when it didn’t come, she pulled the plug.
He shook the macabre memory from his mind. That was the past. He looked at the sun dancing across the lake, at the birds swooping down to feast on a floating bug. The wildflowers were in full bloom. Today was the first day of the rest of his life.
Except for a few stolen kisses at the back door, Bowie didn’t see much of Katie that day. She’d been busy baking cookies for a church group that was using the old campgrounds for a daytime youth retreat. Heart-shaped cookies covered every surface in the bakery. It was fitting because Katie had such a big heart. She never failed to offer a kind word, a warm smile, or a hug to whoever needed one.
He told her of his plans to stop by the cemetery to say his goodbyes. She looked both relieved and concerned. Before he left, she held him for a long time. In her embrace was where he found hope and courage.
When he arrived at the cemetery, he visited his mother first. On top of her headstone were trinkets his dad or Cannon had left behind. There was an arrowhead, a carved wooden angel, and a roll of cherry Life Savers. Mom used to say they were almost as good as a kiss.
He kneeled before the headstone and plucked at the weeds growing around his mom’s favorite yellow flowers. He felt like an awful son for staying away so long. He told her about everything that had happened since she went away. Although there was no answer, he imagined her soft voice telling him it was okay.
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