He shook his head and frowned, laughing softly to himself.
“What’s so funny?” I demanded.
He ignored me and walked straight into my room, grabbing his luggage. I watched dumbfounded as he threw his clothes into his bag in record time and pulled it out into the living room. His belt buckles rattled from inside the bag, but unlike that first night it didn’t fill me with the same nervous excitement. Now I was just plain nervous.
Deciding to stick with his lesson plan, I focused on anger. “Why are you suddenly mad at me? It was your idea to skip out on me!”
“It’s not about what you said; it’s about how you said it.”
“Come again?” Now I was confused.
“Your tone, the look on your face…you’re pissed off at me, and if it’s because I wanted what’s best for you, then whatever. I’m just over this.”
“Over what, exactly? Me being a jinx? Because you know that’s what it’s about. Once Ellie spoke to you, it’s like we went back to stage one all over again.” I paused, gritting my teeth as I recalled that unfortunate text. Dropping my tone, I whispered, “Or maybe it’s because of Roxie.”
I wish I had a camera to capture the look of utter shock on his face. Unfortunately, my phone was tucked neatly away in my purse.
“Mallory, I don’t know what—”
“Get out,” I interrupted, pointing toward the door.
His eyes widened frantically. “Why are you bringing Roxie into this?”
“Get out!”
He nodded his head and huffed. “Fine. Whatever you want. But remember, this is what you want.”
I watched silently as he walked out the door, my tears frozen in time, as if losing the ability to fall. When I could no longer see his retreating back, I quickly ran into the kitchen, feeling hysteria take over me.
“Arghh!” I yelled, pulling the now three pictures of me off the fridge door.
Rip.
First I tore up the picture taken just a couple days ago. It was when Asher was leaving my room after our first night together. Even with the look of embarrassment on my face, I was happy.
Not anymore.
Rip.
Next came the photo from our night of research. Had I known the shit storm waiting for me, would I have gone over to Gerald’s that night?
I wasn’t so sure.
As the torn paper floated toward the newly buffed kitchen tiles I paused, taking the last photo in my hand. I stared intently at the makeup smeared face and then switched my focus until I caught sight of my current reflection against the glossy photo. What I found was another smeared face. Guess those tears had finally found another way to fall.
Biting back a sob, I placed my fingers on opposite ends of the photo.
Rip.
“I wish I’d never had that stupid one night stand.” The sob escaped its prison, echoing inside my empty apartment.
Chapter 35
Asher
How did everything get fucked up so quickly? I’d just had the best few days of my life and suddenly they were gone in an instant.
“You okay, man?” My Uber driver glanced at me from the rearview mirror, his face marked with concern as if he were my long-lost buddy.
When did I suddenly become part of a clichéd chick flick? What was next? Finding Bradley Cooper or Kate Hudson straggling around outside?
I nodded, and without a word jumped out of the tinted SUV. Grabbing my things, I walked inside of the Callabrio Hotel, ignoring the familiar pinch I had in my stomach.
It was only my second time staying at the hotel; the first night ever was with Mallory. How could a building, just a stationary place, add so much fuel to my inevitable downward emotional spiral?
Within seconds, memories of our time together—memories of that night—flooded my mind.
“Shhh.” Mallory giggled, placing a finger against my lips as we stumbled toward the elevator. “You’re going to attract attention.”
She was a bit tipsy, but definitely not inebriated enough to warrant our night together as a bad decision. Despite her long curls hanging damply over her breasts, a result of spilling some vodka over her dress at the club, and even with her eyeliner smeared like a raccoon, she was gorgeous.
She was the most gorgeous creature I’d ever laid eyes on, that’s for sure.
Once the elevator doors opened, I placed kisses down the length of her jawline and smiled, whispering in the most sensual voice I could muster, “You are never going to forget this night. You’re going to be thanking me in the morning.”
Maybe not my smoothest line ever, but given that I had just gotten out of my first serious relationship mere months ago, I’d say I was doing pretty good for a guy scorned.
Once again she lifted a finger, this time booping me right on the nose. Flashing me a lazy smile, she leaned over, breathing against my ear. The sensation sent good shivers down my body. “No, boy. This is your lucky night.”
“Lucky indeed.” I snorted at the memory, trying to shake away the remnant feelings of longing and nostalgia.
After checking in, I walked glumly toward my room and found myself in that same elevator, only this time feelings of loneliness rather than horniness ran rampant through my psyche. The mirrored paneling was the same, and so was the brightly colored carpeting. You know what wasn’t the same? Me…and Mallory.
I couldn’t get over how sad, cold, and different things felt now. I also couldn’t wrap my head around what happened back at Mallory’s apartment. Had we broken up? Not that we had anything to break up from, but it was as close to a fucking break up as you could get.
“What the fuck happened?” I groaned and punched against the wall just as the elevator doors swung open.
I took a deep breath and let my head fall back with a sigh. I lifted my head and stared out the empty hallway with a grimace.
This time I really wasn’t in a hurry to get to bed.
***
The sun streamed in through a narrow slit between the oversized curtains, blinding me awake the next morning. Groaning, I rolled over, expecting to find Mallory’s head of corn-colored hair beside me, only to feel a cold, empty pillow under my fingertips. Disappointment flooded through me when I remembered what had happened only hours before.
Why does it almost feel like a dream?
“Because you wish you could wake up from the nightmare,” I grumbled to myself.
The red numbers of the digital clock beside me read 10:00 a.m., and feeling myself wilt, I remembered it was almost time for Mallory’s audition with Damien.
Would she do okay?
Did she change her mind and want me there after all?
Frantically, I grabbed my phone to see if I had missed any calls or texts from her. What I found instead was a single message:
Roxie: When can we meet to talk?
My heart dropped to my stomach when I realized that Mallory had probably seen it when I had left my phone behind at the diner.
“Shit.” I threw my phone against the mattress. “Shit! Shit! Shit!”
All this time I was worried about other dimension problems when this one was dangling right in my real world.
Chapter 36
Mallory
“I don’t have all day. Are you ready or not?” Damien’s voice boomed from the middle seat of the third row as he looked at me expectantly. More than likely he believed me to be wasting his time once again and the fact that I even hesitated for a second to get my bearings straight was outright blasphemous to him.
Don’t sit up too straight but don’t look sloppy.
Asher’s advice rang through my head, but it was no use. It wasn’t the same without him.
Asher.
No. I would not let him ruin this for me.
Biting back the scowl I wanted to throw in Damien’s direction, I lifted my chin and nodded.
“Yes, I’m ready.”
“Then start,” he replied, flicking his wrist.
Dick.
Th
e room felt abnormally empty, Asher’s void was more noticeable than I had anticipated. I wanted him with me, but nerves and my pride had prevented me from calling him that morning. What could I say to someone so obsessed in the other world? If he did end up coming, he’d probably show up with garlic and Holy Water.
I shielded the smile on my face, trying hard not to giggle at the image. The jubilation was fleeting, because within a second I felt empty once again. I missed him, and this performance would not be the same without him dancing next to me.
But I couldn’t keep hiding.
I needed to do this for me…for us.
“This piece is called Jinx,” I called out, earning a disapproving tsk from my professor. Ignoring his premature bias, I sucked in a lungful of air, feeling my chest cool as it expanded. I curled my fingers and placed them on the keys, hitting middle C with my thumb and G flat with my ring finger.
At the sound of those first two notes, it was like something overpowered my senses. I closed my eyes and felt my body rock back and forth to the music. Each time I pressed down on the pedal, I imagined Asher’s feet tapping in time with my music, bouncing in his top rock. And each time my fingers moved up and down the scales, I could vividly picture him sliding across the floor, rolling his body as if he were an ocean wave.
The music took over me as it never had before; each intricacy of the melody singing to the world. By the time I hit my last note, my chest rose in heavy breaths and I felt satisfactorily exhausted in that way only adrenaline can cause.
In. Out. In. Out.
Breathe.
The auditorium was eerily silent. I opened my eyes slowly, expecting the other shoe to drop. Damien had never been quiet a day since I’d met him, so why was he being so creepy right now?
I quietly turned at my waist and sucked in my breath in shock.
Damien rose from his seat, clapping loudly. A trace of a smile decorated his face. Though it was hard to see from where I sat, it was definitely there.
Sometime during my piece other students had wandered in. I gasped when they too stood up to clap. Well, almost all of them. Sarah sat toward the back, fuming.
A relieved giggle escaped my mouth as tears clouded my vision.
“And that’s the passion I’ve been waiting for.” Damien’s praise reverberated through me.
***
“Just call him,” Claudia coaxed, placing my phone beside me. My eyes dropped, taking in the lavender silicone cover printed with crescent moons. If only I had a rocket ship to blast me off to space I’d probably never come back.
It was two days after my audition and I was still basking in the afterglow of sticking it to the man, as well as a middle finger in Sarah’s face. Though I didn’t steal the solo out from under her as I would have liked, since Damien thought it would be unfair, because you know how much a stickler for fair he was—insert eye roll right there—he did end up awarding me an extra solo spot toward the middle of the show. It may not have been the grand finale, but hey, it was a step in the right direction!
Being two days later it also meant it was time for Asher’s big return to competition. I felt empathetic twists of nerves thinking of how he’d feel stepping back out on the floor, and though I wanted to fulfill my promise and cheer for him, I couldn’t do it. No, I wouldn’t do it. He didn’t go to my big day, so why should I go to his?
I shook my head adamantly, crossing my arms tightly across my chest. “No.”
“And why not?” Claudia sighed, shaking her head.
“Because he acts like I’m some kind of wart,” I explained, trying my best not to let temptation cloud my better judgement.
“Wart? Like the genital kind?” She snickered loudly.
“Like the kind he wants to desperately cut out of his life, Claudia,” I snapped, clearly not in the mood for her games at this point.
My friend took an exasperated breath and groaned. “I don’t get why you’re being so stubborn about this.”
“He hurt me. I’m pretty sure that’s a big enough reason to be as tenacious as I am.”
“Tenacious,” she mused. “Big word.”
“Thanks,” I replied with a wave of a hand.
“Mal, I don’t see what’s so different between growing a pair of balls and calling Asher and growing a pair of balls and stepping up to Damien. I mean, look what happened now! You have Damien drooling every time he watches you perform. He’s like your number one fan. Why can’t you do the same with Asher?”
“Perform?” I grunted. “He’s already seen me perform.”
“No! I mean put yourself out there.” She shook her head with a snack of her tongue. “Gosh, do I have to explain everything to you?”
“Apparently I have to explain things to you,” I snapped.
“What do you mean?”
“The only reason I put myself out there was because of Asher. I wouldn’t even have had the chance to step up to Damien if Asher hadn’t opened his big mouth. There will be no stepping up to the plate by myself. Don’t you get that?”
“Oh that’s a load of crock!”
“Excuse me?” I replied in surprise.
“You played by yourself. Asher wasn’t there.”
“So?”
“So obviously you can step up to the plate all your own. Stop making excuses.” Claudia tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Besides, it sounds like you owe your success to him. Maybe you can at least call him as payment.”
“And you have officially dove into the deep end.” I was lying. We both knew I owed Asher a lot…even if he’d technically thrown my life into chaos.
Claudia smiled. “I know what you’re thinking, and please…call him,” she coaxed.
I pressed my lips together and shook my head. “No.”
“Aye, yi yi!”
“What's going on?” Jinny peeked her head through the narrow opening of my bedroom door and glanced around. “Is this a girls’ pow wow that I’m missing out on?”
“Come on in,” Claudia called out as if it were her room instead of mine. As much as I loved my friends, I really didn’t need them tag teaming against me. Biting back an urge to kick them both out, I settled onto my mattress and shut my eyes.
“You can’t ignore us, no matter how hard you try.” Though my eyes were shut, it was obvious that Jinny was grinning. I felt the mattress dip beside me as she took her seat by my head and asked, “So what’s going on?”
“Mallory doesn’t want to call Asher, even if I think she should,” Claudia clucked in disappointment.
“Eh, why should she? He ruined our fridge of shame! I’m surprised that you aren’t madder about it!” Jinny moaned in dramatic flair.
Claudia, our usual advocate for the fridge and all it represents, surprisingly seemed nonchalant about it. “Maybe it’s time to retire that thing, anyway.”
My eyes flew open the same time Jinny gasped, “What?”
Claudia shrugged. “You’re getting married and Mallory has Asher—”
“I do not have Asher,” I interrupted with a growl.
She ignored me and pressed on. “As for me, well, I’m hoping to settle down someday and besides, we’re all graduating soon. Maybe it is time to grow up.”
“Pigs are flying,” Jinny mumbled, causing me to laugh, catching her attention. Crap, why’d I have to make any noise?
In a soft tone, she asked me, “Why don’t you want to call Asher? Besides the obvious, I mean.”
“What obvious?” I asked, finally turning my head in her direction.
“You’re scared because you love him.”
Claudia nodded in agreement as I let out a loud gasp. “What are you even talking about?”
The smile on her face stretched wider. “Oh come on, it’s no secret that you have this thing against love. Why else do you think you’ve been so against me marrying Raphael?”
I winced. “I’m sorry I was so obvious about it.”
“Everyone could tell,” Jinny replied with a laugh.
&nbs
p; I glanced over at Claudia, who pulled her lips apart and nodded in agreement. Feeling a wave of guilt, I quickly pushed myself up and grabbed onto Jinny’s hands. “I hope you’re not mad at me.”
“Hey, I’m still here, aren’t I? I’m still getting married. We’re fine.”
I sighed with relief.
“It’s easy to forgive you because it’s obvious that your hatred was misplaced,” she quickly added.
I lifted an eyebrow. “And how so, oh wise one?”
I knew I had no right to tease her. She was being generously nice to me given that she had called me out on my immature envy. Still, it was fun…
“Well, since it seems like we’re airing all our dirty laundry, let me begin with this—truthfully, I was extremely annoyed each time I saw your eyes roll whenever I talked about my wedding.”
“I did not roll my eyes!” In front of you.
She ignored me. “And every time it looked as if you smelled a sweaty sock or something, I looked the other way.”
I gulped. “Why?”
“Because I realized you didn’t understand it. Any of it.”
“Understand what?”
Her large eyes twinkled. “Love.”
I blinked incredulously. “Uh, what?”
“You do not know how it feels to be absolutely, head over heels in love with someone and that’s why you couldn’t understand what Raphael and I were going through.”
“I guess…”
“The sad part is you had plenty of chances at love but didn’t seem to want to take it.” She pushed her red curls aside and lifted an eyebrow. “Why did all your relationships end prematurely?”
“Because my exes were dicks,” I muttered.
Both girls giggled. “No. I don’t believe that.”
“Then what do you believe?” I prodded.
“It was because you were afraid those relationships would turn into something much, much, more than the shallow hangouts you were so used to.”
I frowned doubtfully.
Jinny leaned forward in exasperation, her patience wearing thin. “Don’t you see? You were afraid of opening yourself up to them, so instead you focused on something you knew well, which was playing the piano. Each time your boyfriends remotely showered you with affection, you pushed them away. Now what I want to know is why exactly?”
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