by Lita Lawson
“No, I’m not hungry.”
“Come on, you have to eat something. After all, you don’t want to faint from hunger after the race, do you?” Austin held a hotdog wrapped in a napkin out to her. “You’ve got to eat, Cassi.”
“I’ll try,” she replied.
They made their way to a wooden bench in a grassy area beside the stables. They sat down to eat. Squinting up into the sky, Austin commented, “I hope the rain holds off until after the race.”
“Me, too.”
He watched as Cassi swiped a spot of ketchup from her lips with her tongue. He envied her newness to the game of racing horses. Austin knew the excitement she was feeling. It had been a long time since a race made him feel that way, probably when he was a teenager.
She made him feel jaded and old. Suddenly his food tasted like cardboard in his mouth. Tossing the remaining food in the trash, he washed it down with the last of his drink.
He had to tell Garrison to race Foolish Gamble to win. The revelation washed over him like a cleansing rain. Austin needed—wanted to let Cassi savor this moment—to enjoy the newness, the freshness, and the joy of winning for the first time. He wanted to give this to her, a gift from him that she would never know about.
He wanted to keep her from being nervous, but needed to rush and find Garrison before the race. He hated to do it, but he excused himself from her to go searching for the jockey.
Horses were being saddled up for the first race as Austin walked toward the building where the jockeys dressed. Looking around, he couldn’t locate Garrison. Austin had to find him soon. Cassi would be getting Foolish Gamble ready to race soon, and he didn’t want her to prepare the horse without him. He wanted to share the moment with her.
Practically running, Austin dashed through the hallway to the lockers. Looking around, he couldn’t find Garrison. He had to let Garrison know he had changed his mind about the race. But he couldn’t find him. There was no more time left and he had to get back to Cassi. He was practically in a sweat after jogging back to where she and Foolish Gamble waited.
“I was getting worried about you.”
He could tell by her voice that nerves now outweighed her excitement. “I ran into a few friends,” the lie easily slipped past his lips. At this point in time, what was another lie? His whole partnership with her was a lie. Austin didn’t want there to be any more.
Where the hell was Garrison? “Are you ready for your first race?” Austin watched as Cassi shook her head up and down. He knew all this had to be overwhelming for her.
“Let’s get him over to the paddock.” The announcer called the winners of the first race. The horses for the second race would be making their way onto the track now.
Austin breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Garrison walking out of the jockey area as Austin and Cassi walked Foolish Gamble around the paddock. With Garrison’s recently recanted probation, Austin couldn’t risk anyone overhearing about their trying to hold Foolish Gamble back.
The official placed the saddle on Foolish Gamble and Garrison stepped into the stirrup and seated himself.
“Remember what we talked about before?” Austin questioned Garrison.
“Right, boss.” Garrison grinned widely at him. Austin wanted to wipe the smile from his face.
Garrison stepped into the stirrup and swung himself over, straddling the horse. Cassi was next to him, preventing him from telling Garrison he had changed his mind without risking Cassi overhearing.
Austin’s heart wrenched as Cassi patted Foolish Gamble and said something to him.
They took their places in the grandstand to watch the race. Standing beside Cassi as she rooted for a win that he knew wouldn’t happen, he cursed himself for his part in ensuring the race was lost.
He watched the excitement fade from her as Foolish Gamble was only a distant sixth place as he rounded the backstretch. Austin saw her stop clapping altogether. It killed him to watch the hope in her eyes be replaced with resignation and sadness. All because of him.
Austin pulled her next to him as Foolish Gamble finished in sixth place. “It was a good first race.” He tried to convince Cassi. She mutely shook her head. Austin saw the tears well in her green eyes and he squeezed his own shut, disgusted with himself.
“He was probably nervous for his first race, you know.” Again no response. Austin continued, “He got pushed to the outside at the beginning. Odds of him making a showing from that position were practically impossible.” Still the damning silence was the only response he received.
“Come on, let’s go get him ready for the trip home.”
The silence on the way home confirmed the damnation that Austin deserved. With every mile, he silently cursed himself further. Cassi sat, curled in a ball looking like a lost girl in the oversized seat during the entire ride back to Lexington. After twenty miles, he quit trying to talk to her, to reason with her, to convince her that Foolish Gamble would do better next time. The only sound during the remainder of the drive home was the windshield wipers slapping the rain.
Cassi’s heart was in her throat the whole drive home, a constant lump reminding her of her disappointment. Everything rode on Foolish Gamble winning. Sixth place wouldn’t save her farm, wouldn’t bring in the prize money, and wouldn’t pay her debt to Austin. She swiped at a runaway tear on her cheek. How could she have been so wrong? She was so sure Foolish Gamble had it in him. Now doubts fluttered in the corner of her mind about his capabilities. She also doubted her partnership with the man sitting beside her.
He had been so sweet earlier, trying to console her. It was a side of Austin she had never seen before, and she liked it. She would like to see a lot more of it. She appreciated his kindness more than he would ever know. Right now, though, she wanted to be alone.
They pulled into Keller Farms. Cassi held tight to the tears threatening to spill from her. A few more minutes and she would be home alone and able to cry. She knew Foolish Gamble would probably do better in the next race. After all, this was his first one. Cassi knew she was overreacting, but she had been so sure he’d at least place.
As soon as Austin had backed the trailer to the barn and put the truck in park, she jumped out and started unloading Foolish Gamble. The rain poured and she didn’t care about getting soaked.
“Here, let me do that.” Austin tried to push her inside the barn, but she ignored him.
“It’s the least I can do. I’ve got to keep up my part of our bargain.” The bitter words escaped her lips and she didn’t care. She led Foolish Gamble down to his stall as she heard Austin closing the trailer door. Saying good-bye to Foolish Gamble after securing him in his stall, Cassi hurried toward her truck. Jumping into it, she waved good-bye to Austin while he was unhitching his trailer.
When she pulled into her driveway, relief flooded her when she saw the house was dark. It meant her brother hadn’t yet returned from his track meet and she was alone. Parking the truck by the kitchen door, Cassi walked to the barn in the rain, heedless of the cold pellets hitting her. Turning on the lights, a dim yellow glow cast about in several large circles on the floor. She walked over to the stall where Foolish Gamble used to stay. Squatting on the floor in the corner of the stall, Cassi leaned her back into the wall. Finally alone, she let the tears of disappointment roll down her cheeks. A flash of lightning turned the open barn door white. A roll of deep thunder reverberated around her. It fit her mood perfectly.
“Cassi,” Austin yelled out, “where are you?”
The sound of Austin’s voice shocked her. Controlling her voice so it didn’t sound like she’d been crying, she called out, “I’m over here.” Listening to the sound of his footsteps approaching, She hurriedly wiped the tears from her face and tried to get control of herself. She didn’t want to appear like a kid who’d skinned her knee.
Austin stood in front of her. A flash of lightning illuminated his figure and he was about as wet as she was from the rain. Shadows from the golden light played across his st
rong facial features. Cassi took a moment to savor the look of him. Her heart fluttered in her chest. Could it be possible he came here because he knew her devastation, her pain? Was it possible that a man like Austin would care about someone like her?
He crouched down in front of her. “I was worried about you. You all right?”
Cassi swallowed hard as Austin’s golden gaze never wavered. “I’m okay.” Liar. He deserved better than that. “I’m disappointed, that’s all.”
Austin came and sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms, resting her head against his chest. His gut tightened at seeing her tear-stained face that he knew she’d tried to hide. She was a tough one, not wanting anyone to know that she hurt. Not wanting anyone to help her out. Austin admired her gutsiness and berated himself for causing her this pain.
“I know it was probably pretty ridiculous of me to think he’d win his first race.” Austin heard the quiver in her voice. “I’m overreacting.”
Stroking her hair, Austin whispered, “Shh. I know exactly how you feel.” He heard her sniffle. Pulling a bandanna from his back pocket, he gave it to her. As she wiped her nose, he could feel her body tremble. She was trying not to cry for his sake. But he knew it was because of him and his damned plan that she was crying.
He had to ease her pain. The pain he had caused her by fixing the race. He didn’t have much experience consoling women. He only knew of one way to make a woman feel good and forget her troubles.
This was uncharted territory.
Gently, his lips touched hers. The kiss wasn’t passionate as the ones he’d shared before with her. Austin wanted to console her, not make love to her. Continuing to stroke her hair, he sensed her relaxing, letting go of her pain. Pulling back, he pressed her head back down against his chest and whispered, “Shh. It’s okay,” his voice crooned to her. “I know it hurts.”
Cassi couldn’t believe this playboy could comfort her this way. Just when she thought she had him figured out, he went and did something nice that made her doubt her original impression of the man.
And that made her desire him more than she already did. Listening to the steady beat of his heart, her disappointment eased away. She enjoyed leaning against him. She hadn’t had anyone to lean on for such a long time, only herself. Savoring the feeling, Cassi allowed herself to stay against him a while longer.
Lifting her head from his chest, she looked up at him. His eyes looked like a golden sunset in the shadows of the stall. She could see the sympathy in his eyes. Her heart squeezed thinking that he might have feelings for her—more than desiring her physically.
Her lips sought his, but he didn’t move to meet her. So Cassi sat up straight so she could kiss him. Turning around, she settled down on his lap so she faced him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Cassi kissed him fully on the lips. She could tell he was holding back. Deepening the kiss, she ran her hands through his thick, dark hair.
“Cassi,” Austin’s voice was husky.
“Shh,” she whispered to him as he had done earlier to her. “Don’t say anything.” Cassi continued kissing him, slowly, savoring the taste of him. Shyly, she pressed her tongue, seeking entrance.
He pulled away from her. “Cassi, I wanted to make sure you were all right. I knew you were hurting.”
He continued stroking her hair. “I just wanted to make your hurt go away.”
Cassi pressed herself further into his lap, and felt his desire between her legs.
“I know,” she whispered back. Her hands slid down his sides. She started unbuttoning his shirt. “You can make me feel better, Austin.” Cassi heard the sharp intake of his breath. A small smile crossed her face at his reaction.
“Are you sure, Cassi?” his voice rasped. “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to, or regret tomorrow.”
She wanted him to crush her in his embrace—wanted his magnetism to hypnotize her—wanted him to make sweet love to her, right here, right now. She didn’t care who she was, who he was, that their worlds were universes apart. She could no longer deny her attraction to him. His coming here tonight to comfort her convinced her that he cared about her. She wasn’t just another conquest for him.
“Austin.” The huskiness of her voice surprised her. “I need you to make love to me.” She saw desire flicker and burn brightly in his eyes. She continued unbuttoning his shirt, running a hand against his strong, hard chest. “Please. Make love to me.” Everything seemed so right at that moment to her. Her desire for him was as natural as the straw covered earth they sat upon.
“Sweet Jesus,” Austin whispered in an exhale, before his lips caught hers, devouring them in a crush of passion.
She heard a moan escape her throat as a thrill shot through her. Pressing herself against his chest, she kissed him back with an intensity, a yearning, which would have surprised her before, but not now. She knew she wanted him and was tired of trying to convince herself otherwise.
He began undoing the buttons of her shirt, and she helped him. She couldn’t get his touch against her naked skin fast enough. He pulled her shirt from her and the cool night air caressed her bare skin. With a flick of his fingers, he undid her bra and her breasts fell free.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured.
His hands cupped her breasts, gently massaging them until her nipples tightened. His touch was exquisite, sending shivers of desire through her. “Please, love me now,” she heard herself plead. His continued desire was rock solid beneath her. She pressed herself closer to him until she heard him groan.
“Are you trying to kill me?” His voice held a teasing note.
“No. I just need—I want you. Now.”
His lips captured her nipple and she shuddered, letting her head hang back. Arching backwards, the movement pressed her breast deeper into his kiss. Pulling his shirt from his pants, she traced her fingers along his chest, trailing her fingers down to the waistband of his trousers. Austin lowered her backwards, until she was inches from the floor. His tongue traced a trail from between the swell of her breasts to her belly button.
“We need a blanket.” He growled out.
Austin pulled her back to him, and lifted her, until they both stood. Her legs wrapped around him, he carried her, demanding, “Where’s a blanket?”
Cassi pointed to the end of the barn. “There’s a stall at the end by the door that has blankets.”
The storm continued raging outside. Lightning lit their way and the thunder vibrated all around them. Normally storms scared her, but Cassi was secure in Austin’s strong arms. She leaned forward, pulling a blanket from the tack-room shelf and let it fall to the floor. Austin lowered her so she could stand on her own as he spread it out. He gently pulled her back down to the ground beside him.
Cassi lay on the floor looking up into his eyes while he tugged her jeans from her legs. She watched as he took off his own trousers, revealing his arousal. He didn’t have any underwear on and she giggled.
“What’s so funny?” He looked at her.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you didn’t wear underwear.”
Austin knelt down in front of her and murmured, “There’s a lot about me that might surprise you.”
“Maybe I’ll discover some of these surprises tonight?” She reached out, touching his desire. Gently, she stroked his generous shaft and watched Austin’s eyelids close. Slowly he lowered himself onto her, melding their bodies together. Enjoying the weight of him on her, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He rained kisses down on her—from her neck to her breasts. He lingered there, teasing one peak and then the other.
His fingers delved into her core, and Cassi closed her eyes, savoring the sensation. Probing and caressing, he readied her. Cassi’s breath quickened and she rotated her hips to move with his touch. He smiled down at her. In this intimate moment, she was at home here with him. She wanted to linger and savor that feeling, but her body was on the precipice, needing the release only he could give her. He brought her to the br
ink, and just when she thought she would go insane with need, he entered her.
Love flowed like honey around her. He filled her, completely, heart and body, and she knew this was meant to be.
“You feel so damn good,” he growled.
Each thrust increased in intensity and she arched to match him, reveling in the sensation they created together. Rocking together, their heat rose to an inferno that couldn’t be denied.
The world began slipping away, and the feeling of rising, soaring to heights she had never been before threatened to overwhelm her. On the edge of reality, of consciousness, Austin loved her until shuddering and shattering, her world went spinning around her. Crying out, she rocketed to the heavens and heard him follow her as they flew through the thunderstorm around them.
Lying spent in Austin’s arms catching her breath, the night air cooled her love-drenched skin. She felt whole. Healed.
Austin rolled them over until she was on top. Still holding him inside her, she rained kisses on him, delirious in her happiness.
“I can surmise from your reaction it was good for you,” his voice drawled.
Even the sound of his voice sent sensuous spirals around her.
“Yes,” she beamed. Austin tightened his arms around her waist. All of a sudden, his body tensed beneath her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, worried she had done or said something to offend him.
“I didn’t use any protection.”
“Oh,” the small word formed on her lips. “Oh,” she repeated. Rapidly she tried to calculate where she was on her cycle, but her mind wasn’t functioning clearly. “I’m sure we’re okay.” She tried to reassure him and herself, not wanting the afterglow of their lovemaking ruined by concerns of an unplanned pregnancy.
“Austin,” Cassi murmured, “thank you.”
“For what?”
“For making love to me. I’ve never experienced anything quite like this before.”
“Me neither,” he replied, his hands sliding down her back, cupping her buttocks.