by Lita Lawson
So completely shocked at that statement, she almost dropped their mugs of coffee. “What did you say?”
“It’s going to be bankrupt soon.” His eyes stared dully at her.
“How can that be, Austin? The farm has been in your family for years. Forever.”
“After my father died, my mother remarried. The man she married, well, he has quite a penchant for spending, living high on the hog. He bought a plane for the farm, supposedly for prospective buyers and breeders, but uses it for himself. He loves gambling in Monte Carlo and hobnobbing with people all over the world. This has caused the family coffers to get quite low over the last few years.”
“How can that be? Why does your mother allow it to continue?”
Austin snorted in derision. “I’ve tried to talk to her about it, to warn her what would happen. She never wanted to hear it, always thought I was angry because she remarried so shortly after my father died. She’s right about that, but I’m mostly angry with the man she chose to marry and how he’s running the farm.”
Austin jabbed his fingers through his hair. “She thinks I’m upset because she didn’t turn the farm over to me. I was too young when my dad died, too young for such a responsibility. By the time I had grown up and could handle such a responsibility, my father-in-law had no desire to relinquish the reign of control. So the spending spree continues and one day soon, I’ll be in the same situation as you.”
Cassi could hardly believe it. She didn’t know what was more ludicrous, that Keller Farms, an institution in the Kentucky racing region, was badly in debt or the fact that Austin, like her, would soon be in jeopardy of losing the farm he loved and grew up on.
“I’m so sorry, Austin. I had no idea. And here I practically begged you to help me save my farm, when the whole time yours was in jeopardy, too.” She reached her hand across the table and squeezed Austin’s. “I am so sorry.”
“Well, you might want to save your sympathy until I tell you the rest of the story. You haven’t heard the worst of it.”
Cassi couldn’t possibly imagine what could be worse than the news he had just told her.
“Before I tell you everything, Cassi, I want you to know that I care deeply for you, more deeply than I’ve felt for any other woman.” He grasped her hand in both of his. “I never intended to hurt you. Hell, when I first had that dinner with you, and you proposed the business partnership, I resented it. I thought you were like all the other women, out to use me for your own ends. Now I know I was wrong.
“I’m as loyal to my family farm as you are to yours. There’s nothing more precious to me, or you, in that regard.”
Austin looked like a man in desperate need of hard liquor. It scared her and she couldn’t imagine what else he had to say. She waited patiently while he struggled to get his next words out.
“Cassi,” he looked deeply into her eyes, “I made a deal with the devil when I went into the partnership with you. And I was the devil.”
“Austin, you’re not—”. The wave of his hand cut her off.
“Hear me out, please.” He took a drink of his coffee, his hand shaking slightly, before he continued. “I desperately wanted to have my own farm, and I knew it would be impossible to salvage my family’s farm. It’s far too valuable and far too indebted.” A smile came to his face. “And then you came along, offering me an opportunity. An opportunity that could result in my gaining your farm.”
Cassi withdrew her hand from his, a cold, empty feeling settling around her heart.
“I saw that as a chance for me to make a place for myself. You know farmland is quite expensive and hard to find. Your farm is located nicely and is the right size that I could afford. I mean, I thought your horse wouldn’t be much, but after I examined him, I knew he was a winner.
“That’s when I contacted Garrison, who I knew had been in trouble with the jockey association before, and offered him a chance to ride again when most respectable stables wouldn’t hire him. He had to agree to one condition.” Austin paused, then continued. “I asked him to be sure Foolish Gamble didn’t win.”
Cassi gasped. Her pulse pounded in her ears, her body trying to block out the sound of Austin’s voice, of what he was telling her. The man she had given herself freely to that morning, sat in front of her confessing the most heinous of things. It was unbearable.
“Please, say something Cassi,” Austin begged from across the table.
A chasm as large as the entire universe opened up between them. The division grew larger with each word Austin had uttered.
“You don’t want to hear what I want to say to you right now,” Cassi hammered out each single word. She started laughing, hysterically, the reverse emotion of the tears she wanted to shed. But she wouldn’t cry in front of him, wouldn’t let him see how much he had come to matter to her, how much he could hurt her.
“You bastard. How could you do that to me? To Foolish Gamble. If you wanted my farm, we could have owned it jointly. Why didn’t you make that one of the provisions in the contract?”
“You would have never agreed to that,” he replied.
Cassi knew it was true, but right now she would have preferred that to this deception. He had lied and connived from the start. Her stomach rolled and her hands began to shake.
“And what about us? Outside of the partnership?” She was afraid of the answer, but she had to ask. Had to know.
“That was always real. You have to believe me. I never lied about that.”
Cassi choked back the tears. “It was strange we never really went out together in public. Did I mean nothing to you? Or was I your dirty little secret?”
“That’s not true,” Austin replied.
Cassi could hear the anguish in his voice, but it did nothing to assuage her pain. “How can I believe anything you say now?” Her voice shook and she hated herself for showing that emotion to him. She didn’t want him to know how deeply he had hurt her. “I was the little poor girl that you were using to get her debt-ridden farm so you could start your own dynasty.”
“Get out.” She spat at him. “Get out now and don’t show up at any of the races. I’ll win them all, damn you, just so you’ll know what it’s like to not have your own farm.” She got out of her chair and stomped into the living room, not waiting for him to move.
She ran upstairs and threw herself across her bed listening for the screen door to close and for Austin to leave. When it did, she let the tears fall as she heard him drive out of her life.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Everything Cassi had dreamed of would be determined today. Her Stakes race at Keeneland would start in less than an hour. Winning the large purse would ensure she could pay off her second mortgage, keeping the farm. And she could repay Austin the entry fees and the other expenses, ending any ties to him.
Gazing out the window of the jockey’s dressing area, she saw Austin lead Foolish Gamble around the paddock area. Her broken heart still fluttered at the sight of him. Her throat closed with emotion. She had hoped she wouldn’t have to see him today, but deep down, a part of her hoped he couldn’t stay away. She could see he looked the same. Tall, tan, and sexy as sin.
She saw Foolish Gamble every now and then as Austin circled him in the warm-up area. Her horse would toss his head up in the air every now and then. She could see Austin talking low to Foolish Gamble, keeping him calm amid the crowd. He was in good hands.
She fought the memory of how his hands had felt on her, touching her intimately, and leaving his brand.
Tears welled in her eyes thinking about never being with Austin again. They could have had a future together, but his betrayal and lies made that impossible. How she had loved him and believed he was starting to love her. But someone who schemed to take away what mattered most to her wasn’t someone she could share her love and life with.
She had to focus. Had to banish all thoughts of Austin from her mind. The only thing she could concentrate on right now was the race.
As she move
d from the jockey locker room outside to the paddock area, she closed her eyes momentarily. She rubbed her hands over the silky uniform she wore. The colors were blue and pink, a color representing both her and Austin, their partnership.
Pushing him from her thoughts, Cassi focused on savoring this moment, this time, this place. Everything would be decided here this afternoon. Over in less than two minutes. Either way, this race was the last tie to Austin. If she won, she kept her farm and Foolish Gamble. And once she paid Austin back, she wouldn’t have to feel any sense of debt or gratitude toward him. They would go their separate ways.
If she lost, she would lose the battle to save the farm. Austin would own it.
The only things left of their time together would be the memory of his kisses, his touch, his smile. His tawny gold eyes would haunt her as she slept alone during the lonely nights that stretched before her.
Cassi neared where Austin worked with Foolish Gamble. She stood in the other portion of the paddock with the rest of the jockeys, and waited for him to lead Foolish Gamble to her. She steeled herself for the moment they would be face to face.
At the sound of approaching horse hooves, Cassi looked up.
“Hey, Whitaker,” a voice called out. It was the jockey, Garrison, that Austin had hired initially to ride Foolish Gamble and throw the races.
“I’ll be racing Tobacco Jacko, and I’m going to beat you.”
Cassi’s stomach turned at the reptilian smile that snaked across his features.
“If you whip that horse like you whipped Foolish Gamble, I’ll be the one doing the winning today. You’ll be lucky to place.”
She stared at the jockey when he threw his head back and laughed out loud. Other jockeys nearby noticed the scene and gathered around to watch.
“You sure are cocky for a nobody.”
Cassi’s spine went rigid at the remark.
“Shut up, Garrison.”
Cassi heard the snarl of danger in Austin’s voice.
“The only reason you beat her in the last race was because you practically ran Tobacco Jacko into her. So I don’t think you have much to brag about or much to expect out of this race.”
Her heart squeezed with hope because Austin defended her. It didn’t make what he did to her any more forgivable, but it made the pain more bearable.
“Like the lady said, we’ll be winning today, not you.”
The conviction in Austin’s voice bolstered her confidence, and she savored the look of shock and disbelief on Garrison’s face. The man was left speechless. Then Cassi was left speechless when Austin’s gaze met hers and she saw his pain—his regret.
When she readied to mount Foolish Gamble, Austin was beside her. She could feel his presence and heat before he touched her leg. Cassi let him help her up into the tiny racing saddle. God help her, she still wanted to feel his touch one more time. Once astride the horse, Austin’s hand stayed on her leg a moment longer than necessary.
Grabbing the reins, she patted Foolish Gamble. She allowed herself to look down at Austin. As she knew he would be, he was looking directly at her. She didn’t say anything—couldn’t say anything. Unsaid emotions prevented her from uttering a word. Speaking would break down what little control she had, and she needed her focus to be the race—not foolish thoughts of the lost possibility of any happily ever after for her and Austin.
Their gaze was broken when a huge roar erupted from the crowd at the outcome of the current race. The horses reacted to the noise, Foolish Gamble included. As he reared back on his hind legs, Cassi tried to get him calmed down without much success. The next thing she knew, Foolish Gamble was back on all fours. Austin had grabbed the bridle and pulled him back to the ground. Once the horse had settled down, he walked over beside them and placed his hand on her calf. She glanced down at him holding tight to the bittersweet emotions threatening her resolve.
“Are you all right?” he asked her, his brow furrowed.
“I’m okay,” was the only thing she could utter through the lump in her throat. Sensing he wanted to say more, her gaze didn’t waver from him.
“Whatever happens, you keep your farm.”
His offer surprised her, knowing it would leave him without a farm. She appreciated the gesture, but it was too late. They had a binding legal agreement, and she was a woman of her word.
“No,” she shook her head, “If I lose, you get everything. A deal’s a deal.”
He spoke quietly as his tawny gaze held hers, “If you win or lose, I still lose. Everything.”
Tears sprang to her eyes, knowing he meant her, not their actual business deal. Hurriedly, she swiped at a tear threatening to trickle from her eye. Emotions threatened to make her fall apart. She couldn’t, she had to win the race.
Their gaze was broken as an official led Foolish Gamble through the passageway under the grandstand to the racetrack. The smell of the fresh earth and dying leaves invaded Cassi’s senses. She looked at the grandstand, at the thousands of people there. The sight threatened to overwhelm her. In the few races she had ridden, there was never a crowd this size or a horse park as large or grand.
This was Keeneland. The Stakes race. Her heart soared with anticipation, adrenaline, and hope—the possibility of saving her farm. This was her dream, her moment. Foolish Gamble would prove himself a winner and she would gain respect as a horse trainer and jockey. She could redeem her family name that her father had drug through the mud. It might not wipe out the years of taunting and humiliation, but it would certainly turn things around.
Winning meant she would keep her farm and be able to pay Austin back. She would owe him nothing. Then she’d be able to start to forget him and move on with her life.
Sliding the goggles over her eyes, she prepared to enter the starting gate. Foolish Gamble was friskier than he had been at the other races. They had to circle around twice before he willingly went into the gate.
The horn sounded, announcing the next race would begin soon. Next to them, a horse bucked, and Cassi prayed the gates would open soon so Foolish Gamble didn’t start joining in the same antics.
Spotting Garrison on Tobacco Jacko in the first starting gate at the top of the track, Cassi knew she’d have her work cut out for her. It would be hard to work Foolish Gamble inside the track from their outside position, number six.
“This is it, boy—what we’ve been working toward. What you were born to do.”
And then the gates flew open and they hurtled forward. The sound of pounding hooves and whips and the cheering crowd filled her ears. She barely registered the mud splashing up on her face and goggles as she focused on getting Foolish Gamble out ahead of the other horses surrounding them. When they were a length ahead, Cassi squeezed her legs, urging Foolish Gamble to pick up his speed. Quickly they gained several lengths edging out the leader. She started leading her horse toward the inside of the track.
Foolish Gamble was snorting heavily as Cassi heard his hooves pounding the earth. She sensed a horse coming up behind them. Only halfway around the track, she had to pace Foolish Gamble so he wouldn’t run out of speed. They were neck and neck with the other horse for what seemed an eternity. She heard the jockey beside her whipping the horse furiously as they neared the finish line.
Leaning forward into Foolish Gamble, she tucked herself into the smallest ball possible, as close to him as she could be and still see the track. The horse beside her started gaining a short lead over them. Cassi squeezed her legs around Foolish Gamble with all her might and prayed he had the strength and desire left in him to go faster—to win. His pace picked up and in a flash they were again alongside the other horse. Cassi caught the colors of the silk beside her. It was Garrison on Tobacco Jacko.
Cassi willed Foolish Gamble on. She wanted so badly to beat this jockey. She wanted to win so badly for all the underdogs in the world. Right here. Right now.
The constant sound of the whip beside her disgusted her. Foolish Gamble’s gait was practically a lunge. They sped a
cross the finish line and Cassi believed they had won! It would be a photo finish, but in her gut she knew they had won. Elation shot through her. She, Cassi Whitaker, had beaten the odds to accomplish a huge long shot. They were winners!
Exhilaration coursed through her. She felt Foolish Gamble relaxing his stride as they slowed their pace. Leaning over, she hugged his neck while tears splashed down her face, dropping onto his mane.
She always knew he could do it. He was a natural, a winner, and now a champion. And she had ridden him there. Together they had won the stakes race. She didn’t hear the other horses catching up to them, slightly aware of the jockeys shouting their congratulations. It was just her and Foolish Gamble, riding together like they had so many other times, to the old oak tree on the back of her property. Her property. She had saved the farm!
The announcer’s voice crackled over the speaker, “A photo finish. First place, Foolish Gamble by a nose.” The sound of the crowd’s cheers penetrated Cassi’s haze of elation. She cantered Foolish Gamble toward the winner’s circle. Her heart leapt with joy.
When she realized Austin would be there, her heart fell. He had used her to try to gain control of her farm, and done it in the most despicable manner. Bitterness toward him welled inside her. He’d gotten the business deal he’d wanted to ensure his success. He shouldn’t have played with her heart. For that, she could never forgive him.
Entering the winner’s circle, Austin stood there, a dazzling smile on his handsome face. She steeled her heart to keep it from breaking. He grabbed the reins and led Foolish Gamble and her to their place of honor. A trophy was placed in her arms while a blanket of roses was hung on Foolish Gamble’s neck. Just like the blanket of roses she had been pressed against when she had kissed Austin for the first time in his barn. She looked at him now, his eyes smiling at her and her heart shattered into thousands of tiny shards. She had loved him, but he had manipulated and lied to her.
A check was handed to Austin. He tried to hand it to Cassi, but she pushed it away.