“Now you’re going to make me cry.”
“Then cry if you want to,” she said. “My shoulder is right here for you. If you want to cry—cry.”
At first, I didn’t—and then, out of a sense of relief that my long-buried secret would no longer be a burden to me, I did cry. And when I cried, it wasn’t just cleansing—it also was cathartic.
The ghost of my past had been laid bare today, but because of Alex and my closest friends, that ghost had been shot down by their love, support, and kindness. When I cried on Lisa’s shoulder, it wasn’t out of a sense of despair that they knew the truth about my childhood. Instead, it was out of a sense of gratitude that I had people around me who loved me and who would stand right there beside me—even through something as ugly and painful as this.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
THE NEXT MORNING, AFTER a brutal evening of contractions that were now slamming into me every minute, I’d already talked with Kate and Epifania, who’d called to send their best wishes and love, when my doctor arrived to examine me at ten.
“You’re ready,” she said after she examined me.
Alex placed his hand on my shoulder. “She is?” he asked.
“Yes—it’s go time.”
“But how about me?” I said to her in fear. “Who says that I’m ready?”
“I say that you are,” she said with a smile as she stood up. “You’re at ten centimeters. Shall we do this?”
“To be honest, I don’t know whether I’m ready for what’s to come, Dr. Grace.”
“When it’s the first time, no woman is,” she said. “I wasn’t when I gave birth to my first baby. Neither were any of my friends and colleagues when they gave birth to their first children. But guess what? All of us survived, and so will you.”
She turned to look at Alex, Lisa, and Blackwell.
“If you three are going to be in the room with us, I need you to go to the nurse’s station now. They’ll help you wash and suit up properly before you join us. In the meantime, since Jennifer is giving birth here, nurses will come in so we can prep her. None of us has any idea how long this will take, but the baby is coming, so I need you to get moving now.”
Dutifully, all three of them filed out of the room and moved into the nurse’s station. When they left, I asked my doctor to look at me.
“What is it?” she said.
“If there ever comes a moment when I scream out for an epidural, please give me one ASAP.”
“At this point, I’m afraid an epidural is out of the question, Jennifer.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re so far along, it’s no longer safe to give you one. But you’re not out of luck yet, because Entonox is safe.”
“What in the hell is Entonox?”
“Half oxygen and half nitrous oxide—otherwise known as laughing gas.”
“You expect me to laugh my way through the hell I’m about to endure?”
“I’d rather you do that than cry. So, if you need it, just ask for it, OK?”
“OK...”
She held out her hand to me, and I took it. “We call this a birthing room for a reason. When you arrived here yesterday, we wanted you to get comfortable with your surroundings, which you are at this point. But now this is going to officially become a medical room, so please allow our staff to change the sheets to make sure that everything is hygienic. After the staff is finished and you are properly prepared to give birth, what I need you to do is to lie on the bed.”
I moved toward the bed.
“Not yet,” she said. “Let them get it ready first.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m not thinking straight. I’m frightened out of my mind.”
“As many first mothers are.”
“And I’m giving birth two weeks early—I’ve said it before to you, but that can’t be good for the baby.”
“And I’m telling you that your baby is going to be fine, Jennifer.”
“But how do you know?”
“Because we’ve been monitoring you and running tests for months. Yes, it’s coming two weeks early. And while there is a small risk involved when it comes to that, I have to emphasize again that it’s a very small risk. So let me ask you a question. Do you know what you’re going to name him or her?”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Now, you’re just trying to distract me.”
“Maybe you need to be distracted. What names do you have in mind?”
“You already know if it’s a boy or a girl, don’t you?”
“I do—and I believe several months ago, I gave you the option of knowing your baby’s gender. Would you like to know? Because I can certainly tell you.”
“No, no. Alex and I want it to be a surprise.”
“And I respect that. So? What if it’s a girl?”
“Alexandra.”
“Well, that’s perfect,” she said. “And if it’s a boy?”
“Alex and I discussed that a few hours ago,” I said. “We had a different name in mind before, but then I told him about a person who once meant a great deal to me. A man who once went to war for me—and who might have even saved me. So we’ve decided to go with Aiden Alexander Wenn.”
“I love both names,” she said.
“And you already know which one I’m going with...”
“I do! Come on—let me tell!”
“No! I want this to be a surprise.”
“As you wish,” she said with a smile.
I was aware of nurses swiftly changing the bedding so that the area would be pristine. When they were finished, I collapsed into another contraction and took hold of Dr. Grace’s arm as the pain thundered its way through me.
“Are you OK?” she asked.
“Can I have the gas now?”
“Maybe we should wait a bit...”
“If that’s the case—and if the bed is ready—let’s just get on with it,” I said.
“With pleasure.”
I looked at her and then at the two female nurses who were in the room with us, each of whom was around my age, and I gave them a strained smile. “What I need everyone to know is that if I become an impossible monster during this delivery, please try to ignore it, because I promise that whatever comes out of my mouth has nothing to do with any of you. And I mean that—I’m grateful that you’re here to help me. But please accept my apologies now so that none of you think that I’m some ungrateful, impossible bitch when all of this is over.”
“Point taken,” Dr. Grace said. “And don’t worry about it—everyone in this room has heard it all.”
At that moment, I saw Alex, Lisa, and Blackwell enter the room in blue masks and scrubs just as one of the nurses inserted an intravenous line into the back of my hand to deliver fluids to me.
“Alex,” I said.
“I’m here,” he said as he came to my side.
“We’re good on the names, right?”
“We’re more than good on each name.”
“Are you OK?”
“I’m more than OK,” he said.
“Thank you for being so wonderful to me earlier.”
“Jennifer, I love you. We’re about to have a baby. And one day, we’ll have another. All I’m worried about now is you. And I’m here for you. All of us are here for you. Everyone in this room loves you—especially me.”
“Thank you,” I said as I felt another contraction hit. “Alright, everyone—please give me a kiss fast, because I think that I’m about to become undone.”
When Alex lowered his mask to kiss me, it was so loving and sincere, it almost made the contraction tolerable. With my hand pressed against his cheek, I looked at him and said, “We’re about to become parents.”
“So we are.”
“We’re finally here.”
“I’ve waited for this day longer than you know. I’m so happy, Jennifer.”
When I looked into his eyes, I saw the depth of his happiness. He’d already lost two children. His first unborn child had died wit
h his first wife Diana, who had been killed in a car wreck when she was pregnant. And then I’d miscarried when our plane crashed onto the island. This was my husband’s third chance to have a baby of his own. Now I needed to deliver that to him—safe and sound. No drama. At this point in his life, my husband deserved a healthy baby.
Our baby...
When Lisa and Blackwell stood on either side of me and kissed me on the cheek before they held my hands, I saw the concern on Alex’s face when Dr. Grace instructed me to push. And when I did, the pain was so excruciating, I gripped Blackwell and Lisa’s hands as I strained until Dr. Grace told me to relax and take a breath. This seemed to go on forever until at some point, my doctor asked me if I wanted the gas. But when I thought about it, I ultimately decided that I didn’t. I wanted to feel this. Remember this. I wanted to get there without it. And so I declined it.
The following hour was pretty much rinse and repeat until my doctor looked up at me and said, “You’re crowning!”
“If that’s the case, then where the hell is my tiara?” I said in delusion.
“I wish I could give you one,” she said with a smile. “But I think something better is coming. Now, push!”
As a searing pain overcame me, both Blackwell and Lisa leaned down to whisper words of encouragement as my body felt as though it was being split open—which it was.
“Jesus,” Alex said. “There’s the head!”
“One more push,” my doctor said. “Give it to me, Jennifer. One more push and this is over for you.”
“You can do it, my dear,” Blackwell said to me.
“One more push,” Lisa said. “That’s it. Go for it, lovey!”
“Lift my back up,” I said to them.
And together, Blackwell and Lisa formed a team and lifted me up so that I almost was in a sitting position.
“Push,” my doctor said.
I pushed.
“Almost there. Harder, Jennifer.”
As I squeezed Lisa and Blackwell’s hands, I looked over at Alex, who seemed overcome with concern. But I wasn’t about to let him down, so despite the pain, I gave it my all, I hunched forward, and I pushed until I felt that I was about to pass out.
But I didn’t pass out.
Instead, I gave birth to my baby.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“WELL, WHAT IS IT?” Blackwell asked. “You must know that we’re eager to know. Is it a boy or a a girl? The suspense is killing me!”
“It’s killing me too,” Lisa said.
“Don’t I get a vote in here somewhere?” I said. “Shouldn’t I get to know before either of you two do?”
“Always so selfish,” Blackwell said dismissively.
And then I looked at Alex, whose expression said that he already knew the baby’s sex—though I couldn’t exactly read what he knew. As he moved in closer to cut the umbilical cord, I saw how bright his eyes were—nearly brimming with tears—and then I heard him say, “He’s perfect.” He looked at me quickly when he said that. “Ten fingers. Ten toes. Two balls.”
“If they’re anything like yours, it’s no wonder I could barely push him out,” I said.
“Jennifer,” Lisa said.
“Well, it’s true. Because when it comes to Alex, you have no idea just how big his—”
“I know that you’re probably somewhere on Mars right now, but you might want to check yourself,” she said.
“Too much information?”
“To say the least.”
“Aiden is perfect, Jennifer,” Alex said.
“Alex, we had a boy,” I said as I looked up at him.
“We did.”
“I can’t believe it,” I said.
“Neither can I.”
“You’ve just given your husband an heir,” Blackwell said. “Well done, my darling girl. Well done!”
Alex looked at me. “I would have been just as happy if it had been a girl. Maybe that will happen the next time...”
“And how about if we talk about the next time a year or so from now?” I said, my voice barely a whisper due to the sheer exhaustion I was feeling. “You know, when I’ve pretty much forgotten how excruciating this was.”
I watched in wonder as Dr. Grace suctioned the liquid from my son’s lungs, and when she was finished, Aiden suddenly cried out with a sound that was so piercing, it was as reassuring as it was liberating. No child with those kind of lungs could be in harm’s way, even if I had delivered him two weeks early.
As the nurses took over and went through the motions of weighing, measuring, and preparing to deliver him clean to me, I became overwhelmed by the idea that with Aiden here, Alex and I finally had become a family. Moved, I watched Aiden squirm on the table and I saw him flush pink with oxygen as air and blood started to rush through his system. Despite my concerns about giving birth early, he appeared to be fine. In fact, no one was acting as if he wasn’t.
“He’s beautiful,” I said as I watched him. “Just beautiful.”
“Well,” Blackwell said with emotion in her voice. “I’m so happy for both of you right now, I hope you don’t mind if I shed a tear or two. Because this? This is something. It might not be Christmas yet, but after what you two have been through—especially today—it’s a miracle. I’m so happy for you right now, I could pop out of my Chanel.”
“Well, please save us from that,” Lisa said to her. “Because that’s something nobody needs to see.”
Before Blackwell could respond, Lisa leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. “You did it,” she said. “Just as I knew you would. You and Alex now have a baby boy—and Aiden is the perfect name. It’s the best name—a powerful name. The name of a hero and a warrior. I had no idea what name you two had chosen coming into this, but now I know the exact reason why you chose Aiden, and it’s for the best reason possible.”
“I have two heroes in my life,” I said to her. “The first is Alex. He’s been my hero for five years. My absolute rock. The one man I never could do without. The second is Aiden Gardner, the man who saved me from my father. And now we have Aiden Alexander Wenn. May he live long, may he be kind, may he be a force in the world, and may he find the kind of love that his parents found.”
“May it be so,” Lisa said.
“I love you,” I said to her. And then I looked at Blackwell, who was discreetly wiping away tears. “And I also love you, you old softie.”
“Old?” she said defiantly to me. “It took you two straight hours of pushing to release Aiden into the world. I could have gotten the job done in thirty minutes. So don’t call me ‘old,’ girl.”
We looked at each other for a moment when she said that, and then we laughed in relief that this was over.
“Alex,” Dr. Grace said after she’d looked over our son. “Would you like to hold your son?”
“Are you serious?” he said. “Of course I want to hold my son.”
“Well, here he is,” she said as she presented Aiden to him. “I believe he might even have your dimples.”
“Seriously?” Alex said.
“When he smiled at me a moment ago, I saw them in each cheek. So, here,” she said as she held out Aiden to him. “Take him. Hold him. Welcome him.”
Alex took Aiden into his arms so gently, it looked as though he was holding the most fragile thing on the planet.
“He’s beautiful,” Alex said as he looked down at Aiden. “Perfect.”
“Congratulations to both of you,” Dr. Grace said. “For the record, Aiden is seven-and-a-half pounds and twenty-three inches long. From my initial assessment, he is perfectly healthy. And just look at how he’s looking at his father right now—he’s captivated by Alex. So, good on both of you. Jennifer, you did it,” she said. “You came through like a champ, as did your friends and Alex. All of them were rooting for you today.”
“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Jennifer,” Alex said as I watched him touch our son’s cheek with the tip of his index finger. “Nothing. My wife and our son mean
everything to me. I’d move mountains to protect them...”
My heart swelled when he said that, and I felt Lisa take my hand and squeeze it when he did.
“Thank you,” I said to Dr. Grace. “I don’t think we ever could have done any of this without your kindness, patience, or guidance. I know that I’ve been a pain in the ass at times, but I hope you know that it’s only because—”
“Stop right there,” she said. “You went into this pregnancy worried about it for reasons that everyone knows. But all of that is behind us now. What happened with your last pregnancy can never be forgotten, Jennifer, but now it might be best to move away from grief and embrace the present.”
“I agree,” I said.
“Would you like to hold your son?” Alex said to me.
“Oh, I would,” I said. “I really would.”
With Aiden held tight in Alex’s arms, he came over to me, and then he leaned down and delivered our son to me. In a fog of wonderment, I looked at what Alex and I had created together—and I just sighed. He was a beautiful child. A handsome boy. One who already had a thick head of dark hair.
“What color are his eyes?” I asked as I looked up at Alex and my doctor. “They’re closed now. Does anyone know? Has anyone seen them?”
“I did,” Dr. Grace said. “And right now, they are the bluest of blues. Over time, that might change. They’ll either remain as blue as Alex’s or become as dark brown as yours. Or maybe somewhere in between. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
Blackwell and Lisa moved in closer to look at him, and after they’d spent a moment with Aiden, Alex claimed my mouth with his own. Immediately, Lisa and Blackwell stepped back while Alex and I kissed each other deeply. We told each other that we loved each other, and with one fierce kiss, I felt reenergized, despite how bone-tired I was.
“I love you,” I said.
“Words can’t describe how much I love you, Jennifer,” he said.
“And I love you,” I said in Aiden’s ear. “Every bit as much as I love your father, your grandmother, and your aunt. Thank God that you’re with us now. Thank God that you’re finally here.”
Holiday: Annihilate Them, #2 Page 12