We whizzed through the streets of Edinburgh. People were walking, laughing and my heart felt heavy as lead in my chest. When I noticed the familiar road we traveled and the noticeable thickness in the trees I knew where we were going and my already mangled heart broke apart.
My childhood home.
I leaned forward resting my elbows on my knees as I tried to control my breathing. It felt as though a boa constrictor was squeezing my chest. He wrapped his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his side.
When we turned onto the long dirt drive my heart broke into a sprint. Everything looked exactly the same as it had twenty-five years ago. The trees were taller and fuller but it was precisely what I remembered walking every day.
When the farmhouse came into view tears spilled over my cheeks. Even the paint was the same. I recognized the huge oak tree situated in the front of the house where I used to escape and play out my fantasies every afternoon.
The car stopped at the front steps and Cailen reached for my hand opening the door and pulling me out. Once my feet were planted on the gravel I’d walked on thousands of times I just stared at the structure. Remembering the front window I’d broken when I tried to learn baseball. My eyes rolled over the scene and I could feel the happy memories flood my soul.
The front door still had the crack in the glass where I’d been too eager to get outside and play and had ran face first into the glass. I looked over and he was soaking up my reaction. My eyes darted back and forth between his face and the house.
After several moments I pulled him tight against me and buried myself in his chest. Somehow he knew exactly what I needed and had given me the one thing no one else could—closure.
Slowly he pulled my hand closer to the stairs and then stood in front of the door. He gave me a questioning eyebrow and I nodded. Then he took out his keys and placed it in the lock turning the knob.
Once the door swung open I was the first one to step across the threshold. Even the smell was exactly what I’d remembered. The furniture was different and placed out of order but it was all too familiar to me.
My feet pulled me into the room and I walked around touching walls and surfaces letting memories flood my eyes. He stayed close by my side and let me discover the place I used to call home.
My attention drew automatically to the kitchen, which was just several paces away. I looked at him and gave a pleading gaze and he squeezed my hand. I turned back and began walking forward.
The horrible memory of me stalking around the corner as a child thinking this was another game of hide and seek came to the forefront of my mind. When we rounded the corner and I took in the scene I wasn’t prepared for the round of hysterics that exploded from my body.
I began to shake violently and the sobs were deep as I began screaming and crying holding my chest tightly. His arms encircled me and he began to whisper in my ear,
“It’s ok, sweetheart. I’m here. Nothing or no one will ever hurt you again, I swear to God.” He chanted over and over.
After several minutes I pulled back and fisted the heels of my hands over my eyes.
“I try so hard to forget what I saw that day. My beautiful granpy lying there still, staring at the heavens. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t see his face flash in my eyes.”
Cailen touched my face and wiped a tear from my eye. “I know, Gemma.” He stepped closer until his face was just an inch from mine. “I want you to face this so we can move on together, love.”
I scrunched my eyes together and gave a slight smile knowing he was right. I pulled my hand from his and inched forward. The farmer’s sink had the familiar faded yellow stain and the window still held the flower box I once had to water everyday. My fingers trailed the surface of the wooden island I spent so much time preparing vegetables while my granpy readied the meat.
My sigh turned into a smile as I remembered the endless days I spent in this room—the heart of the house, granpy called it. Cailen let me explore for nearly two hours. Every step I took grounded me to a halt with another memory.
Finally I turned to him.
“Thank you.” It was the most honest two words I’d ever spoken.
His responding smile was beautiful. “Love is a powerful thing and you’ve just shown me how much of that I have for you, Gemma.”
A tear spilled over my cheek as I cupped his face in my hands. “And I you.” I sealed that declaration with a kiss.
We walked through the rest of the rooms downstairs and then he guided me up the steps. My feet became heavy as I approached my old room. The familiar creek of the floorboards filled the silence as I stepped in front of my door.
After a deep breath I turned the knob and opened the door. Again, the furniture was different but the bones were the same. I walked in and went straight to the closet door. When I opened it a huge smile spread across my face. The drawings of my family were still etched across the old wood. My hands traced the figures as I closed my eyes and remembered the faces of the people I loved so much.
Cailen appeared beside me and stroked my hand.
“Did you draw those?” His voice was full of surprise and awe.
I smiled. “I did those right before he died.” I pointed to my granpy’s face etched in ink on the door. “That is exactly how I remember him.”
He didn’t speak for several minutes then he turned me to his gaze.
“This was my room. I can’t tell you how many nights I placed a pillow against that frame and stared at those pictures thinking what a happy family that must have been. I’d never felt the bond and love of a family but that was the closest I ever came—staring at your drawings.”
My heart galloped in my chest. He was the most beautiful man I’d ever met. Fate had brought us to this very place. Two damaged souls that fight daily to keep our head above water.
I smiled. “Maybe now I can be your family.” I was silently praying to God that he didn’t scoff at my request and break my heart.
He took a moment to dip his head to the floor then he brought it back up and met my gaze.
“That is about as bloody close to heaven as I’ll ever get, Gemma.” Then he crushed his lips to mine.
He pulled back but kept his fingers knotted in my hair. “It’s you and me, babe.”
I smiled. “You have no fucking idea what you are getting yourself into Mr. Bagpipe.”
He threw his head back laughing.
We walked around the rest of the house and ended up outside on the porch swing. The night was mild and the air was light. We slowly swung back and forth, my feet scraping the old wood with each pass.
“Do you think they can see us right now?” I asked, then clarified, “I mean, my parents and Lorne?”
He averted his eyes to the sky before he answered, “Not sure, love but if they can I think they’d be smiling, at least I know, Lorne would.” He said with a wicked smile.
That gave me pause. I studied that for several minutes. My father would be bursting with pride if he saw the love I had for Cailen. That thought pulled an extreme smile to my lips.
“You know, as much as I love you and would love to screw your brains out right now, I just don’t think I can manage that here—in my childhood home.
He never hesitated. “I have a room booked at the Ritz, Gemma. No fears!”
I hung my head and snorted laughing. I would never call this man unprepared.
We strolled the property hand in hand until the sun began to set. The day was both heart wrenching and beautiful. I tried to think of a way to tell him how much it meant to me that he did this. But everything I came up with fell way too short.
So I did what felt right, I grazed his cheek with my forefinger and asked, “Make love to me?”
He hooked one hand behind my head and pulled me to his lips to give me his answer and I loved what he had to say.
Within an hour we were at the hotel. When we walked through the double door we were met with rounds of happy gestures and welcomes to Mi
ster Carmichael. I stared at him in awe. It seemed every single person knew his face and held him in high acclaim.
He genuinely returned each encounter with a beautiful smile and happy response. When we stepped to the desk we were promptly greeted by the concierge, whom knew Cailen well and were given our keys and personally escorted to the elevator.
Once we stepped in he pressed the twelfth floor and whistled as the metal box whirled upward. I tried to break the silence only to have his finger press against my lips in a silence gesture. I just fell against his back and enjoyed the ride.
When we came to a stop he held the door for me to precede him and I stepped out. The hall was long and led to a set of double doors. He pulled my hand and we nearly sprinted down the long corridor. He swiped the card and threw the door open waiting for me to enter. I slid past swiping my breasts against his chest and grinned wickedly.
He audibly sounded, “Uhhh haaaa.”
I continued in and was shocked still. There were hundreds of orchids placed sporadically about the room. Orchids are one of my most treasured things on earth. I love the simplicity yet the absolute beauty of the flower. I stood in awe for several moments getting my bearings. He stepped closer and analyzed my face.
“I’m speechless.” I glanced around the room taking in the beautiful flowers again. “I just can’t believe you know me so well. Its almost too much…”
He cupped his hand on the back of my neck tilting my head up to meet his eyes.
“I know you because I was born to know you, Gemma. I’ve waited on you for thirty-seven years. And now that I’ve found you I will never let you go, love.”
My initial reaction was to run. I always defer to my fear of commitment and haul ass in the opposite direction but with Cailen I just couldn’t. I’d tried to push him from my heart and mind but he was etched into my being. Every breath was connected and I just didn’t know what to think about that.
He is a better mind reader than a fucking psychic.
“You’re doing it again—over analyzing. Would you just fucking stop trying so hard to not be happy and let me just fucking love you, Emberly?” His tone was exasperated.
I sighed as I looked down. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I just…” I pulled my hands through my hair. “…Damnit, this is harder than the brochures describe in my therapist office.”
I let out a shaky laugh.
He blinked twice then shook with laughter as he pulled me into his side. “You’re going to make my life much more interesting.” He said as he slid his hand down my arms following the progress with his eyes. Then his brows furrowed and he slowly scanned my body finally meeting my gaze with a pained look. “Come on, Gemma, let me feed you. I know you are hungry, gorgeous.”
Funny, I hadn’t thought about food in about three weeks. I nodded and he grabbed my hand pulling me back out the door. He pulled out his phone as we were on the elevator and made a call. I heard someone muffle on the other end. He exchanged several sentences in flawless French and slid the phone back into his pocket. “You’re going to love this place.” He professed with a grin.
We walked down the street feeling the wind whip around and the noise from the steady stream of cars inching through the streets. Pubs littered every corner, their doors propped open and Celtic music blaring. I inhaled taking in the aroma of stale beer and fried sausage. That’s when my stomach let me know that I had been depriving it. A long loud rumble came from the depths and Cailen turned to look at my stomach then me before a wide smile crossed his face and he quickened the pace.
We stopped at a French restaurant and he reached for the handle leading me through the door. The hostess greeted him with a big smile and addressed him by name. I took in the other patrons and was instantly aware of my uber casual appearance. I raked a hand through my hair and glanced at the floor.
He reached over and pulled my face to his. “We can go somewhere else if you like.” His tone was sweet and understanding.
I slowly shook my head. “No this is fine. I just feel out of place. I should have made an effort before we left, I know I look terrible.”
I put up a confident shell to the world but underneath I’m just as broken as the rest.
He snorted. “You have no idea how fucking beautiful you are, Gemma. It hurts to look at you sometimes.”
My laugh was bitter. I was ready to retort but changed my mind and pressed my lips into a hard line. He paused for several seconds then let out a sigh as we began following the hostess to our table.
We weaved through the tables of dining couples in the dimly lit room. Burgundy and tan draped the walls with gold sconces hanging between the curtains. The smell was intoxicating—butter and seafood hovered in the air. We stopped in front of a table in the corner almost secluded from the rest. He pulled my chair and gently slid me forward. The candle on the table flickered gold and amber rays danced off of his face. My breath hitched when I took in just how beautiful his features were.
His hair was so full and had just enough curl to make it glide back from his forehead and rest in a feathered coif. The tones of brown looked slightly auburn in the light and his pale skin tone was almost luminous. My eyes traveled down and I got the peak-a-boo of that sexy tattoo on the side of his chest near his neck. Each breath he took pulled his sweater tighter and I could see the flex of his pectoral muscles. My blood was thrumming through my veins and I suddenly felt the urge to fan myself.
My eyes drifted back up his glorious frame and I met a pair of amused eyes. A crooked grin formed on those puckered pink lips.
“Mind if I ask what you’re thinking about right now?”
My lips parted slightly and I tasted the lingering part of him as my tongue barely touched the crease on my lower lip. His eyes traveled to my mouth and I watched, as the artic blue becomes more of a sapphire color. I didn’t need to tell him what I am thinking because he was reading off the same page.
We didn’t say anything for several minutes we just locked our gaze. The waiter appeared and I couldn’t tear my eyes from his.
“Good evening Mr. Carmichael. It is wonderful to have you back.” His tone was so pleasant and sincere.
Cailen smiled and nodded but never left my gaze as he answered.
“Thank you. It’s lovely to be home.”
“May I get you something to drink?” The waiter asked.
“Bring us a bottle of Chateau Rieussec, please.” He was still staring at me and my legs began to tremble.
“Right away. Would you like for me to bring out your usual starter?”
Cailen nodded. “That would be perfect. Thank you.”
Once the waiter left the table I folded my hand underneath my chin and asked, “You seem to be very popular. Everyone appears to be quite fond of you, Mr. Carmichael.”
He smirked. “It’s the hair.”
I shook my head and smiled. When I looked back up he was still fixed on my face.
“That’s a distraction.”
He grinned wider. “I have other ways to distract you, too.” He leaned closer and swept his eyes from side to side theatrically as if looking for eve’s droppers before he added, “I haven’t seen the women’s rest room here but I know the men’s has a nice soft sofa.” His grin became a blinding show of perfect teeth.
I let out a shrieked laugh that had people turning in our direction but I didn’t care. I continued to shake with laughter as he openly enjoyed my reaction. I watched as he pulled out his phone and began snapping pictures of me across the table. I heard the shutter button flashing fast and the look in his eyes has my stomach flipping. He was lost in the moment and I saw the spark in his eyes as he captured our moments on film.
I waved my hand across my face and held it up to his phone.
“Ok Mr. photographer, that’s enough. I’m getting a complex over here and that’s just downright frightening.” I said it lightly but it truthfully hit a cord deep within.
He rested the phone on the table and traced his chin and lip
s with his thumb.
“You are an extraordinary canvas. I’d say you are my muse but that wouldn’t give you enough justice.”
He extended his hand across the table and placed it over mine. The heat from his palm radiated up my arm. I felt a faint flush rush my cheeks and I knew he saw it when I heard a low groan in his throat.
“You have no idea what that does to me, Gemma.” He shook his head slightly and closed his eyes before he looked back. “To know that I affect you as you do me, well it’s a bit humbling and certainly the most erotic thing to ever happen to me.” His burning gaze nearly had me hoisting myself from the seat and in attack mode.
Pretty Bitches Page 9