Alick walked up behind me. “Cai, we need to get out of here. The police will be here any minute.”
Cailen pulled back and gripped my hand pulling me toward the car. Graham was still balled in a bloody heap next to the wall and the four men were in stages of getting to their feet. When we got to the car Cailen opened my door and help guide me into the seat keeping the marred skin free from touching anything.
The drive home was silent. Alick was holding Lila tight against his side while she let tears fall down her face. My hip was throbbing and I could feel gravel stuck to the flesh. Cailen stared at the road, his chest heaving.
I was suddenly terrified that I wouldn’t be enough to keep him with me. The emotion on his face looked a hell of a lot like resolve and if he wasn’t willing to fight for me then it was never going to work.
He picked me up off the seat and clenched when I gasped at the pain. He carried me to the bathroom and pulled my dress over my head. I looked in the mirror and my jaw dropped. There was no skin left on the entire side of my left hip and the side of my thigh was grated with gravel marks all the way around to my backside.
Cailen turned his head and clenched his fist. I walked up behind him and placed my hand between his shoulder blades. “You have to talk to me, Cailen. You can’t shut me out.”
He made no move and didn’t say a word. I pulled his arm around to face me. “Cailen don’t you dare shut me out. I gave up everything for you. I gave you everything I have. I gave you my fucking heart!” I screamed.
He flinched at my last words and stared into my eyes. “Emberly, I am no fucking good for you. Can’t you see! Every time I turn around I’m hurting you. Look at your leg for Christ’s sake. As long as you’re with me you’re just going to keep getting hurt over and over and I will NOT left that happen.”
“What are you saying?” He just stared at me. “What are you fucking trying to say, Cailen?” I screamed into his face.
An utter calm came across his face. “That I am going to make the decision that I can see you never will.” He turned and walked out the door without looking back.
I stood there, shocked. The horror of what just happened crashed down on me. I started screaming after him running as fast as I could. By the time I made it out the door he was slamming his car door and starting the engine.
I slammed into the side door screaming. He never looked over at me, he shifted the gear and I grabbed the handle trying to lift it but it was locked and slipped out of my grip. I slammed my hand into the window but he stepped on the gas and left me standing there, alone.
I was alone, again. Everyone I’d ever loved left me. My heart broke into a million pieces and shattered to the ground.
Lila came running from the house and grabbed me by the arms. “What happened?” She screamed.
I just stared at the tracks in the gravel where his car had just been. She shook me several times and I finally found my voice. “He left me.” I whispered.
I heard her take in a sharp breath then she pulled me into a tight hug. The tears were dry. I was hollowed out and empty. I pulled back from her embrace and walked back inside and straight to my room.
Lila followed me and I realized I was still in my bra and panties. She sat me on the tub and ran some water in the basin. “Stay right here, I’m going to go get some thing to clean that up.”
I stared into the mirror at the foreign woman looking back at me. I didn’t recognize her anymore. I was the happiest that I’d been in my life just hours ago and now I wanted to die. I just wanted to rip out the rest of the mangled mess inside my chest.
Over the next hour Lila pulled the gravel bits from my skin and disinfected the area. I pulled on my clothes and walked into the bedroom. Just the sight of the bed had me heaving. I turned my head and walked out not knowing where I was going but I couldn’t look at his memories anymore.
Alick was in the kitchen and rushed to me when I came in the room. “Emberly, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to fix it.”
I just shook my head and poured a glass of whisky putting it to my lips and draining the entire glass in one gulp. I sat the glass on the counter. “No one will ever be able to fix me, Alick. He broke me and there is no putting it back together again.”
He placed his hands on my shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Emberly. He loves you more than he’s ever loved anything and he thinks he is protecting you by leaving.”
“Well he didn’t protect me did he? He fucking crushed me is what he did. He took my heart and shattered it.”
Alick traced a finger across my cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
I looked into those violet eyes. “I know. So am I. I thought I was enough but clearly that was never the case.”
“You are everything to him, Emberly. Never ever forget that. No matter what happens he’ll never love another soul like he loves you. I can promise you that.”
I poured another glass full. “I can’t stay in this house. I need to get out of here.”
He nodded. “I understand. First I need to see if I can find him and make sure he doesn’t do anything incredibly stupid to himself. When I know he’s safe I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
My head snapped up. “What do you mean to himself? Would he hurt himself, Alick?” I asked, panic shooting through my body.
“I just don’t know, Emberly. I’ve never seen him so connected to someone like he is with you and without you to keep him from the dark I’m just scared of the outcome.”
“Take me with you. I have to see him, Alick. I knew he loved me but I thought he just didn’t love me enough. I can fight for him. I will fucking fight for him.”
He stared at me several moments then nodded and walked toward the front. I followed closely behind and grabbed my purse with my phone from the table.
When we were in the car I was calling him over and over. Every time it went straight to voice mail. I looked over at Alick. “Call him and find out where he is.”
He pulled his phone from his shirt pocket and dialed the number. A few seconds later I heard his voice on the other end. “Cai, where are you brother? She’s worried about you.” He shook his head in frustration. “I understand but you can’t just fucking run every time. You are making the biggest mistake of your life letting her go.” There was a pause while Cailen said something. “I’ll be there in ten minutes, just wait until I get there.”
He threw his phone against the console. “I’ve never heard him like that before. I’m scared.”
My throat closed and I felt lightheaded. “Hurry.” I breathed.
Minutes later we pulled in front of a marina. Alick jumped out and I ran after him. My feet slammed against the boards on the dock. Alick slowed and jumped onto a boat at the end of the dock. It was bigger than the one at the house but had the same layout, he slowed and walked down the side to the back cabin.
When we reached the doors Alick motioned for me to stand to the side and slid the door open. I heard Cailen’s voice and then Alick let out a long breath. I couldn’t stand it anymore and I stepped around the corner and shouldered past him. Cailen’s eyes widened when he saw me. He looked terrible. His eyes were swollen and red and the mask on his face was frozen in agony.
I walked right up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck holding as tight as I could. He gasped and buried his face in my hair wrapping his hands around my neck.
He pulled back. “You came back?” His words were laced with shock and pain.
I gripped his face in my hands. “When I said forever I meant it. I’m not going to let you leave me. I don’t work without you, Cailen. I’m different now. You changed me. It’s you and me against the world, remember.”
“I can’t keep hurting you, Emberly. I just can’t do it.” He whispered.
“Then stop trying to leave me because that is not going to hurt me, Cailen, it’s going to kill me. I promise you.” My voice was steady and calm.
He heard it too. He heard the sincerity in my words and i
t lit up in his face. His eyes were burning with indecision and torn emotions.
“I see you struggling and you should just know that I have no intention of leaving here without you.” I said evenly.
His eyes softened and I saw the last bit of that demon break away. A tear spilled over his eye and he pulled me against his chest laying kisses all over my head.
When he pulled back there was nothing but love staring back at me. “I can’t believe you stayed and you fought for us when I fucking ran like a coward, again. I love you so much, Emberly. More than I’ll ever be able to show you. But tonight, right now I’ve never felt more loved and I’ve never loved like I love you right now. It’s pretty fucking scary but I never want it to leave.” He leaned down and kissed me tenderly on the lips and pulled back to stare into my eyes.
“We’re more fucked up than a hooker with calculator.” I strangled.
He laughed once and sobered. “How do you feel?”
“Like ground up hamburger meat at the moment.”
His smile was small and I knew what he meant. “I’ll be fine as long as you are with me, Cailen. But don’t you ever leave me again. I won’t survive the next one and I know for sure you won’t because I’ll kill you myself. That’s a promise.” I was serious and he knew it.
“I would deserve it and take it willingly, love. I’ll never ever deserve you but I swear I’ll spend every fucking second trying. I’ll never leave you again, Emberly.”
I nodded. “OK. I accept that.” I looked down and my hip that was throbbing incessantly. “Now, could we please go back home because my hip is killing me and I just want another shot of whisky so I can feel numb.”
His face fell. “God. I’m so sorry. I can’t begin to tel-“ I stuck my finger to his mouth. “I know, Cailen. I know. Let’s just move on and spend the rest of our days making each other happy.”
He nodded and worried over my hip as I turned to walk out the door. Alick was smiling broadly as we made our way to the parking lot.
I looked over. “Is that your other boat?”
He nodded.
“Where the hell were you going might I ask? A cruise around the world?”
He grinned. “Not without you, love. I may have been strong enough to leave that house but I would never be strong enough to be any distance away from you. I truly would have been your stalker for the rest of your life.”
I just shook my head. “You’re fucking crazy, Carmichael.”
“I’ve been called that before.”
“Well it’s pretty damn accurate.” I grumbled.
He held the door for me and slid into the drivers seat. The ride home was quiet. I let the seriousness of the events sink in. I would need to address the Graham problem because it would inevitably turn worse now but for the moment I just wanted to heal with Cailen and put us back together.
He gently pulled me from the car when he parked in front of the house. Lila met us at the door with a shocked face that quickly melted into anger.
I held my hand up. “Not now, Lil. I can’t take anymore drama tonight. I’m going to get some whisky and relieve this pain and then I am going to take my husband and snuggle up in my bed.”
Her lips pressed into a thin line but she kept her mouth shut. Cailen followed me and I grabbed two glasses emptying the last of the contents. I looked at him in horror and he smiled. “Got another bottle in the cabinet, love, no worries.”
I let the amber liquid burn a line down my throat then my belly. After a few gulps my mind became calmer and the throbbing on my side ceased. Cailen watched every move I made and when I drained the last of my glass I placed it on the counter and reached for his hand pulling him to our room.
When the door shut I walked to my side and pulled back the covers carefully folding into the mattress. Cailen tried to stay back afraid of hurting me but I pulled his arm around me and pressed tight against him. After everything I just needed him, his strong arms around me letting me know that I wasn’t alone.
Sleep came quickly, thanks to the whisky and I finally let my body rest.
When I woke the next morning every muscle in my body hurt from being so tensed with worry. My hip was burning and sore. I looked over and Cailen was propped on his pillow staring at me.
He pulled my hair from my face and spread it on the pillow stroking lightly. “I just have no words, Emberly. I was such a coward. I don’t deserve you. You love me enough to fight for me and that is something that I will cherish and hold close to my heart the rest of my life. I’m in awe of you and I’m also eternally grateful to you. You saved the only good thing I’ve ever had in my life. Us. I’ll be the man you need, that is a solemn oath that I make to you right now. I will fight as hard as you have and I will keep this family we’ve created together. The next time I leave you I’ll do it in a pine box six feet under. I swear to walk every step by your side. You will never walk alone again.” He lifted my hand and placed a kiss to each of my fingers.
The knot in my throat prevented me from talking so I eased myself up and placed a kiss to his lips whispering, “Thank you.”
He kissed me back and tucked my head into his chest. We laid there for hours just holding on tight.
There was a faint knock at the door and then it opened slowly. Lila was peeking from the other side. I smiled. “Come in bitch.”
A small smile hovered over her lips as she hesitantly walked to my side of the bed and sat down. I watched as she took several deep breaths before she said, “Cailen, there are some things that I need to say to you. First of all I don’t talk about feelings, don’t profess love, I just don’t open up. Ever. But I have things that I need you to know.” She turned more fully to him and trained her gaze to his eyes. “Emberly is the most important thing in the world to me. She has a wall that deflects people from hurting her but underneath it is all love and honor. I’ve kept people that could cause her pain at bay for years but somehow you broke through and she fell harder than she ever has before. I’ll do anything to protect her and that means from you, too if you are intent on hurting her. Because I have no qualms about hurting you or even killing you if you insist on trying. I want her to be happy and if it’s you that she wants I will be beside her every step of the way, but if you love her you will never put her through anything like that again. Now, I’ve said everything I came for. Just heed what I say, Cailen because when it comes to Emberly I fight harder.” She leaned in and kissed me on the forehead and walked from the room closing the door as she left.
I stared after her. That was the most sincere thing that had ever come from her mouth. I felt the tears welling and I realized I had people around me that loved me and cared for me. I wasn’t alone.
He rubbed his thumb over the streaks on my cheeks. “She loves you like I do, Gemma. I respect her immensely.”
I shook my head. “I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”
“I believe the luck is ours, love.” He said kissing my lips.
“When do we leave for Prague?” I asked.
“If you would still like to go we leave day after tomorrow.” He said searching my face.
“Ok. Would it be alright if I asked Lila to join us? Perhaps Alick would like to come as well?”
He smiled. “I think that is a beautiful idea, Gemma.”
I laid my head back against the pillow and just let myself be happy for a moment. My life was a complicated ball of shit but it just kept getting better with the people in it.
A little while later I tried to ease from the bed and Cailen jumped up to help lift me up. I hooked my arm in his and headed for the kitchen.
Lila and Alick were sitting on the stools drinking coffee. I walked directly over to her, cupped her face and kissed her right on the lips. “I love you, too and it’s forever.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I grinned and punched her in the arm as I turned for the coffee pot. I pulled out two mugs and poured them full. I handed one to Cail
en and looked at Lila. “So, we’re leaving for Prague day after tomorrow any chance you might be game?”
Her eyes brightened. “Depends on why you’re going. If it’s for a torn missionary trip I’ll pass.” She said grinning.
I laughed out loud. “This we know, bitch.”
I looked at Alick. “That means you, too, if you can make it.” I said blowing my coffee.
His smile was blinding. “I was going to stuff myself in her luggage anyway.”
She snorted and continued picking those ridiculous freaking nails.
I whipped up some eggs and peppers and fried a few strips of bacon. That’s the extent of my culinary magic. Basic prep. We ate and drank the remaining coffee before I retired back to the bedroom. I was emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted.
Pretty Bitches Page 24