by Hill, Roxann
Even this description pissed me off. I was about to explain to the guy what spanking actually meant and that the details of his sex life did not interest me, but David clearly felt sorry for him and led him to the rear of the car, where they started talking.
In the meantime, Emma had come out and was clinging to my legs, as usual. She rested her head against my hips.
“You were right!” she said. “He said stupid things about our car.”
“Exactly!” I said. “He has no idea.”
The Citroën was hauled onto the tow truck in no time, and we climbed into the cab. Emma sat on my lap, with Baby—whom David had lifted in—taking up the rest of the backseat beside us.
From his perch up front, David asked me, “Where do you need to go?”
I gave my address, and the driver said, “We’ll pass by there on our way to take the Citroën to the service station.”
“Which service station are you going to?” I asked.
“To mine,” David said. Naturally. He was going to try to fix the car in his own garage.
Where was rush hour traffic when you needed it? Nothing got in our way. Even the traffic lights were working against us. They were constantly green. We drove on without any hindrance. Time was slipping through my fingers.
Emma cuddled up against me. “You’re not coming with us?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “Not today. I need to get home and check on my apartment. I haven’t been there in days.”
“And are you taking Baby with you?”
I hadn’t thought about that, but without hesitating, I said, “Yeah, Baby is coming with me.”
The brakes screeched as the truck stopped in front of my building. Emma clung to me. She picked up her head, and I saw that she was crying.
“Now, now,” I said. “You’re a big girl. Big girls don’t cry.”
“But you cry, too,” she said. “And you’re a lot bigger than me.”
I didn’t answer, just opened the door and slid out, placing Emma on the now-empty seat. Emma held my hand tightly. “You won’t go away for forever, will you?” she asked.
I didn’t know what to say. I cleared my throat because my voice was failing me. “The two of us will stay friends. No matter what happens. Right?”
“Yeah.” She turned away from me and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Her little body shuddered as she cried even harder than before.
David helped me get Baby out. First, the dog whimpered happily because he thought that we were taking him for a walk. But once he noticed how sad I was, his ears drooped, and he refused to take his eyes off me even for a second.
David came up to me. He seemed bashful. No, unsure. Or was he crestfallen?
“This is it, then,” he said.
I nodded. “This is it.”
“We made good time. I’ll make my appointment tomorrow, and you—you’ll get to do what you had planned.”
He looked strange. Vulnerable.
Since I didn’t want to cry in front of him, I tried to act like the brave one. I held out my hand and said, “Thank you for everything, and I hope to see you again.” It was the stupidest thing I could have done, but I couldn’t think of anything better.
David studied my hand as though seeing it for the first time. Then he took it and . . . something magical happened. Perhaps it was only a moment of weakness, or it happened because I’d been breathing in toxic fumes for hours. In any case, I leaned forward to kiss him good-bye on the cheek. But, as luck would have it, our lips met. And again, a powerful feeling surged inside me—it was a drive to hold him tight and never let go.
The nasty guy from the tow truck honked.
I pressed my hands on David’s ribcage and pushed myself away from him. We stared at each other, speechless. Then he turned around and left me. He climbed into the truck and it took off. Soon the Citroën, Emma, and David had disappeared from my life forever.
35
I took my copy of Gone with the Wind down from my bookshelf. It was a little dusty. I blew off the top edge and placed the book neatly in one of the big cardboard boxes I was filling.
I heard a key working my front door’s lock from the outside. Over the past three years, I’d heard this sound at least a thousand times. I looked toward the door.
Valentin wore an Armani suit with a camel hair coat draped casually over it, and a lily-white scarf. His Italian shoes shined impeccably.
He stood still for a moment at the entrance to my living room. Actually, it looked like he was posing so he could be properly admired. A tall, lean figure. Finely chiseled features, intelligent face. Carefully coifed hair tinged with gray. Really très distingué. Valentin von Gertenbach—a genuine dream man.
“Ah, Michelle! How I’ve missed you!” He emphasized his words with a fluid hand motion and stretched out his arm toward me. Then he paused. “What happened to you?”
I looked down at myself. I was wearing faded jeans and a sweatshirt. I only had socks on my feet. No jewelry, no makeup.
When I didn’t answer right away, Valentin’s expression became irritated. He scanned the room and settled his gaze on the cardboard box. “Oh, you’re working. How unbefitting. You should have the cleaning staff do this. That’s why I pay them, after all.”
I shrugged.
He stroked his hair and put some effort into conjuring up a dazzling smile. “Michelle, dearest—I have something to tell you.” He paused, clearly expecting an excited reaction from me. Since I didn’t move, he started again. “I’m about to fulfill our biggest wish. I’ve decided to separate from my wife, definitively, so that in the future I’ll be able to spend every free moment I have with you. What do you say to that, my darling?”
“Oh,” I answered.
Valentin pressed his lips together, then he opened his mouth and sighed. “I knew you’d be happy. But to see you totally reduced to silence . . . you’ve always known that I’m a man who keeps his word. Isn’t it a wonderful Christmas surprise?” He slipped out of his camel hair coat and carefully hung it on the coat rack, on the hook he always used. Taking big steps—in truth, he practically glided—he walked over to the sofa area to sit in the chair he always sat in while visiting me. He stopped abruptly. In his place was a blanket, and atop it a dog. Now the dog got up, growled warningly, and bared his fangs.
“Calm down, Baby,” I said, and the dog crouched back down in his seat without taking his eyes off of Valentin.
“What’s that?” Valentin said incredulously with a disgusted expression on his face. You’d think he’d just seen a cockroach.
“It’s a dog,” I said.
“I see that, Michelle! How did you come about this freaky creature? It’s not even a purebred!”
I hadn’t moved since Valentin had come in. I could see him well enough from my position. “You were in the middle of telling me your news,” I said. “Please continue.”
Valentin looked around the room, unsure, and finally took a seat at the outermost edge of the couch, as far away from Baby as possible. He swung one leg on top of the other dramatically, smiled victoriously, and said, “Now, my darling. As I was saying—I’m leaving my wife.”
I nodded slowly. “Fine. If I’m understanding things correctly, you’re leaving her just when she needs you the most.”
Valentin cringed as though I’d slapped him. “For years I’ve given her everything she needed. I was always there for her. And now? Now it’s my turn.” He hesitated and added, “I mean, it’s our turn.”
“Valentin, Valentin,” I said.
“Why are you shaking your head?” he asked, looking completely confounded.
“I’m just wondering something. Would you leave me in the lurch, too, if I needed your help?”
“You can’t compare this with that. And what does it even mean to leave in the lurch? What are you trying to in
sinuate? Between my wife and you, there’s a world of difference!”
“Difference?” I said. “Could you elaborate on that for me?”
Valentin struck his thigh with his open hand. “Sure. We are not married. We are together because we are soul mates. Because our destinies are in sync.”
“Ah. Well, that’s not enough for me.”
Valentin furrowed his brow, an unmistakable sign that he was slowly but surely losing his patience. “What?”
“It’s not enough for me to play the role of a kindred soul.” I walked over to the window, briefly looked out without recognizing anything, and turned back to him. “Can you guarantee that you’ll be there when I need you?”
“Michelle! What’s this about?” Valentin leaned back in his seat and stared at me. “Why are you harping on this? Why do you suddenly want and need so much? You can’t tie me down like that! Where is this new attitude from? This isn’t like you!” His next words were spoken with an almost conspiratorial tone. “Darling, we have an open relationship. And, before, you were always more than happy with it.”
I thought about it briefly. “Before no longer counts. There are new rules now. At least there are for me.”
Valentin didn’t answer at first. A look of realization began to appear on his face, quickly turning to an expression of horror. He jumped halfway up off the couch. “Oh, my God! You did take the pill, right? You know that I don’t want any other children. You aren’t pregnant, are you?”
“I’m not,” I confirmed calmly. Valentin went almost limp with relief as he sat back down on the couch.
“And, in truth, I’m happy about that, too,” I continued. “Because a child needs a father who will take responsibility.”
Now Valentin jumped up off the couch completely. Baby growled, but he didn’t seem to hear it. “What has gotten in to you? Is this revenge for my not being able to come to France?” He awaited my response. “You’re behaving like a bourgeois wife. Even your outward appearance is completely different. You look . . .” He searched for the right description, studying me, looking like he’d bitten into something rotten. “You look ordinary. All the polish is gone. Perhaps you’re just a bit confused. I know you’ve spoken to my wife. Perhaps that threw you off track. But when you think about it calmly, you’ll see things differently. I know, my Michelle. By tomorrow, it will all be just as it was before.”
Baby growled again. This time Valentin heard it. He pointed at the dog. “And this ugly mutt, we’ll have him taken to the animal shelter. Or better yet, we’ll get him put to sleep.”
Fury rose up in me. Valentin sensed my rage and looked down.
“Do not touch Baby!” I said. “Do you hear me? Nobody touches him. And don’t come here again tomorrow. I’m not going to think anything over. My decision is made.”
“What decision?” Now Valentin was stammering.
“You know what I mean.”
Valentin flushed red. “No one has ever ended a relationship with me! If something is going to end, then I’m the one to do it! You can’t be serious about wanting to break this off.”
“But I am,” I answered plainly.
Valentin’s face took on a vicious expression, which made him appear thoroughly unattractive. “You’re aware of who owns this apartment?”
I pointed to the moving boxes. “Of course. What do you think I’m doing with these? I’m packing.”
His eyes showed wounded pride followed by a flash of triumph. “Then, unfortunately, I’ll need to inform you of another condition: you’re also losing your job as a real estate agent.”
I shrugged. “You know what, Valentin? I’m not at all bad at my profession. I’m sure I’ll find something new.”
Valentin shook his finger at me in a threatening way. “When I discovered you, you were nothing. It was I alone who cultivated you. I put an endless amount of time and effort into you before I could even allow myself to be seen in your company. And now you go back to being exactly what you were before! A cheap, ordinary nobody.”
“So you should be glad to be rid of me!” I countered.
In an attempt to answer, he opened his mouth and closed it again. Then he lowered his head, turned around, and grabbed his camel hair coat with one hand and my car keys out of a nearby bowl with the other. “You can forget that Z4 you’ve been driving! And the platinum card will be canceled immediately!” The door slammed loudly behind him.
Baby got up, yawned heartily, and looked at me with curiosity.
“We’re rid of him,” I said, and Baby wagged his tail.
At that very moment, my phone rang. It was the Hotel Grand Royal in Chamonix. My Prada bag had resurfaced and was on its way to me. The concierge was confident it would get to me by tomorrow. In return, I should now send the Swiss woman’s purse back to the hotel. Everything else would be taken care of by the Grand Royal.
I hung up. It was nice to be getting my property back. I’d had enough taken away from me recently.
One single question troubled me now: Where in the world had I left the stranger’s Prada bag?
36
We got hungry around noon. Baby nudged me numerous times with his wet nose and had a pitiful look in his eyes. With the exception of a bottle of Veuve Clicquot I’d planned to share with Valentin, my refrigerator was empty.
I briefly considered ordering sushi—as I often used to do—but then I thought about the state of my bank account, which would no longer be magically filled. And I thought about Baby, who surely did not care for seaweed and wasabi.
I vaguely remembered seeing a supermarket in the neighborhood. I put on my ski jacket and said good-bye to Baby. Not five minutes later I was standing in front of an Aldi.
After gathering myself, I grabbed a shopping cart and began wandering down the aisles. No problem. After all, just a few years ago, I used to shop at discount chains without even thinking twice about it. No prong would break off my crown for shopping here.
And it wasn’t bad at all, I soon realized. In fact, I could find everything I needed quite easily here. And more. It wasn’t even expensive. Dog food for Baby, a couple of frozen hamburgers (which I’d recently acquired a taste for), tangerines, stollen, gingerbread cookies, toilet paper, bread, milk, eggs, butter, cheese—and even a digital wristwatch. All this had nearly exhausted my budget. Then I realized that I didn’t have any Christmas decorations in my apartment. Valentin’s taste—or, should I say, his strict standards—were no longer of any concern to me. So I quickly grabbed myself a discounted Advent calendar, a string of lights, and a couple of red candles with holders in the shape of reindeer. In the checkout aisle, I found a Christmas CD—also inexpensive. I couldn’t pass it up. I stuffed my treasures in plastic bags and stomped home, weighted down but in the best mood.
Baby greeted me with a hobbling happy dance, as though I’d been gone for hours. It was the first time that someone had cheerfully welcomed me into this apartment.
As I heated up a burger in the microwave, I fed my new roommate. I poured him a big portion of dry food in a Rosenthal bowl made of porcelain, and he went at it with ardent zeal.
After eating, I decorated the apartment as best I could. I taped cotton balls on the string of lights and draped it around the window. I placed the candles on the coffee table. I prominently displayed the Advent calendar on top of the sideboard.
Next, I unpacked the Christmas CD and slid it into the player. David, Emma, and I had heard many of the songs on our trip.
I sat myself down on the sofa, and Baby lay his head on my thighs. I closed my eyes and pictured all of us together again in our pink-red Citroën, driving through the heavy snow.
37
Without a job, I had nothing to do and nobody waiting for me. I ate a few cookies, manicured my nails, polished them, found that color stupid, and chose another one. Then I brushed Baby with his hairbrush, the one that use
d to be mine.
The time didn’t seem to want to pass.
The doorbell rang.
I pushed Baby’s head off of my lap, got up clumsily, and went to the door. I looked through the peephole and saw my Prada bag being held up on the other side. The concierge had kept his word. The delivery company was reliable.
I opened up and nearly gasped in surprise.
No FedEx messenger, no DHL employee. Instead, there stood David.
He smiled somewhat bashfully and held out the purse. “You left it in the car.”
I grasped it. “Thank you, but it isn’t mine.” I sounded a bit dense, but my mind was otherwise occupied with David’s dimples, the curve of his cheekbones, the fine lines around the corners of his mouth . . .
David acknowledged my comment with an understanding nod, and we stood across from each other without speaking.
“Would you like to . . .” I pointed over my shoulder to my apartment. “Don’t you want to come in?”
David nodded again. He thoroughly cleaned off his shoes on the runner and came inside.
Baby scuttled off his chair as fast as he could, hobbled over to David, and pushed him with his paw. “Baby!” David knelt to pet him affectionately. Both forgot me for a while.
Typical males.
“How was the court date?” I asked.
David gave Baby another friendly pat, then got up and said, “Good. It went really well. I’m a free man. And I’m officially allowed to raise Emma.”
I smiled. “I’m so happy for you both! How’s the little one doing?”
David let his gaze wander around my apartment, but I had the feeling that he wasn’t really present. His thoughts seemed to be somewhere else.
“She’s well,” he answered. “But she misses you a lot.”
“Is Emma the only one?” I said without thinking.
David now directed his blue eyes at me. In a flash, any uncertainty they contained disappeared. “If I’m honest, I miss you, too.”
“Oh,” I said, before falling silent.