by Susan Lewis
Tierney tried to shrug, but it wasn’t easy when she was so close to breaking down. Picking up her brush she began pulling it through her hair.
‘Suit yourself,’ Skye muttered when she realised she wasn’t going to get an answer.
They were supposed to be driving over to Siena in a minute, but Tierney didn’t want to leave her mum on her own, not while she was this upset.
‘Listen to me,’ Skye urged, in response to Tierney’s reason for staying. ‘She’s shut herself away so she can do her thing in private where none of you can see her. I’m telling you, you have to give her some space. It’s what she needs right now, not to stress about how you’re feeling about things.’
Wishing she could get Maudie’s opinion on that, Tierney wandered to the window to stare out at the view. Her instincts seemed to be telling her to put her mum first, while the fear of seeing just how upset she was kept holding her back. However, she wasn’t going to allow herself to be pathetic. She needed to be strong for her mum, and even if there wasn’t anything she could do to make things better, at least her mum would know that someone cared.
She’d just drawn breath to tell Skye that her mind was made up, she was staying, when a car arrived at the top of the slope. She knew instantly whose it was, so it was no surprise when Marco got out. As he crossed the lawn she could feel her heart pounding. They didn’t need him here now; he was just going to complicate things, confuse and upset her mother even further.
When he reached the terrace he was only feet from her window, but she didn’t let him know she was there. She simply listened to him talking to Stacy, telling her he’d brought a new pool boy with him because the regular one had broken his arm. Then he asked if Lainey was around, and Stacy told him she wasn’t feeling well. He said something that Tierney didn’t quite catch, then finally he turned around and started back to his car.
Tierney was about to breathe a sigh of relief when she heard her mother calling out, asking him to stay.
‘She’ll be all right now,’ Skye murmured, as Marco returned to the terrace.
Tierney tensed. She hadn’t realised Skye was watching, and suddenly she wanted to slap her, or push her out of the way, or tell her to get the next flight home and never come back. Instead, she picked up her phone, stuffed it in her bag and went downstairs to join Max and the others.
‘Thank you,’ Lainey said, as Marco handed her a coffee he’d poured from a flask. With a smile she added, ‘You know, I could get used to picnicking with you.’
Smiling too, he sat down beside her and rested his elbows on his knees to gaze out over his own Sangiovese vines that, from this perspective at the top of his estate, seemed to flow right down to the shores of the lake. ‘I used to come here,’ he said, ‘when I was feeling as you are now.’
As her heart caught on the words, she sipped her coffee and let her eyes travel from the shining clusters of grapes in their tangles of leaves, across to the acres of olive trees and on to the red tiled roofs of his farmhouse at the heart of it all. Just beyond the farmhouse was the colombaia – dovecote – belonging to Lorenzo and Adriana’s barn conversion, and in the dusty yard in front of the wine caves she could see Adriana leading a small clutch of visitors off on a tour.
Marco had brought her here after her eyes had welled with tears as she’d tried to answer a simple question back on the terrace.
‘Good morning, how are you?’ he’d said, and to her embarrassment the lump that formed in her throat had left her unable to speak. In the end, in a strangled voice, she’d said to Stacy, ‘Please show him,’ and while he’d read the piece she’d gone back to the bathroom to pull herself together.
When she’d returned, she’d seen straight away how concerned he was. ‘I want you to come with me,’ he’d said, and taking her hand, he’d led her to his car. They’d driven first to the farmhouse, where he’d filled a flask with coffee, then he’d brought her here.
‘If you would rather be alone,’ he said now, batting a fly from his face, ‘I will come back for you later.’
She didn’t have to consider it for long. ‘I like you being here,’ she told him, meaning it. There was something calming about his presence, supportive yet not intrusive, perhaps because he was little more than a stranger. With someone she knew well she’d feel compelled to talk, even to make sure they weren’t worrying about her.
Then, realising this must be bringing back painful memories for him, she said, ‘You must be busy. If you’d rather go . . .’
His eyes remained on the leafy lanes of vines as he replied, ‘I have no pressing engagements this morning.’
‘But don’t you – don’t you mind being here? I mean, if it’s where you used to come . . .’ She wasn’t sure how to phrase the rest of the question, so she simply let it fade.
He glanced at her briefly. ‘Things are different now,’ he told her. ‘The hurt – most of the hurt – has gone away.’
Because she needed to know, she said, ‘Did it take long?’
Snapping off a blade of grass, he said, ‘It would have taken longer if my wife hadn’t decided that she’d made the wrong choice.’
Lainey felt a stab of something that might have been jealousy, or perhaps it was a hope that the same would happen for her.
‘I expect Zav told you what Benito told him,’ he went on, ‘that Anna left to be with another man?’
Lainey glanced at his profile. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said softly. ‘It must have been very hard.’
His jaw was taut now, his eyes less focused. ‘She went more than a year ago,’ he said, flicking away the blade of grass. ‘I had been suspicious for a while, then one day she said she could not bear to go on pretending. She loved him, she said, she had to be with him, so she was leaving.’
Since she knew exactly how he must have felt in that moment, Lainey made to put a hand on his arm, but pulled back at the last. She didn’t want him to think she was offering the kind of comfort that would end up embarrassing them both. ‘Where is she now?’ she asked.
‘In London. She is not with him any more, she tells me. I’m not sure what happened between them, why it didn’t work. She says, after being with him, she realised she’d made a terrible mistake, but it is hard to know what to believe.’
Understanding how difficult it must be for him now, she dared to ask, ‘Do you still love her?’
He barely hesitated. ‘Yes, I love her very much, but I am afraid that it will not be enough to repair what has happened. There is no trust now, and without trust it is hard to see any happiness for our future.’
The poignancy of his words burned into Lainey’s heart. The trust had gone for her and Tom too, and no matter what happened in the future, she couldn’t imagine anything ever bringing it back.
‘I feel it is important for Benito,’ he continued, ‘that I try with his mother. Of course, because I love her, I want that very much, so I guess it is for both of these reasons that I am now trying in my heart to forgive her. If I can do this, perhaps a time will come when I can begin to trust her again.’
Both afraid of finding herself in the same position, and terrified she might not, Lainey began examining her own heart to see if she might be capable of the same sort of forgiveness. Considering how desperate she felt right now, anything seemed possible, but she knew how dramatically her emotions could change from one hour to the next.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t bring you here to talk about my problems,’ he apologised. ‘Please let’s change the subject.’
Lainey smiled. ‘As long as it’s not to my problems.’
He twinkled, but instead of agreeing he said, ‘I don’t want to pry, but it might help you to talk.’
Though she couldn’t feel sure of that, she knew she was incapable of thinking about anything else right now, so, in a halting, self-conscious way she began telling him about her marriage, and how she’d always feared that she loved Tom more than he loved her. Though there were moments when Marco turned to look at her, his eyes s
eeming as intense as the heat, he didn’t interrupt once, simply absorbed her words as though nothing else in the world could matter more.
In the end he reached for her hand and held it so tenderly that she had to fight down yet more emotion. She wondered how his wife could have betrayed him, when he was the kind of man most women only ever dreamt of. She wondered how Tom could have betrayed her, and for so long.
‘Do you realise,’ she said, after a while, ‘we might have been lifelong friends by now if I’d grown up in Tuoro.’
‘Yes, I have had this thought too.’
Shaking her head in wonder, she said, ‘It’s incredible to think I’m as Italian, by birth, as you are. I keep trying to feel Italian, and sometimes I do get a sense of something, but I couldn’t really tell you what it is. Probably a love of the wine.’
He laughed, and though he let go of her hand then, it was a long time before the feel of it went away.
‘So where is she?’ Tierney cried, all kinds of confusions tearing at her heart. ‘She never goes out all day without telling us where she is.’
‘She’s with Marco,’ Stacy reminded her. ‘They left here . . .’
‘I know when they left,’ Tierney cut in rudely, ‘I was here, remember, but it’s nearly seven o’clock now, so where’s he taken her, and why hasn’t she rung me?’
Stacy said, ‘I take it you’ve tried ringing her.’
‘Of course, and she’s not answering.’ Her expression turned suddenly wild. ‘Oh my God, something’s happened to her. What if she’s had an accident? They drive like maniacs here . . .’ She turned to Max in a panic.
‘Cool it,’ he advised, offering her a beer. ‘She needed to chill after that crap in the paper, so that’s what she’s doing.’
‘But she’s in a highly vulnerable state right now. We should never have let her go off with him.’
‘Tierney, sweetie,’ Stacy came in gently, ‘you’ve met Marco, you know how lovely he is . . .’
‘It could all be a front,’ Tierney raged. ‘Some people are like that, they use their looks and everything to make you feel safe, then they turn out to be weirdos or psychos or . . .’
‘Stop, just stop,’ Stacy said more firmly. ‘I don’t know why you’re telling yourself these things when she’s only been gone a few hours.’
‘Nine!’ Tierney shouted. ‘She’s been gone for nine hours and she’s not answering her phone. Tell me that’s not strange. Have you got Marco’s number?’
‘No, but I have Adriana’s.’
‘Can I have it please?’
With a sigh, Stacy said, ‘If I give it to you . . .’
‘Just give it to me,’ Tierney growled.
‘T, you’re way out of order,’ Max informed her.
‘You want them to break up too,’ Tierney yelled at him. ‘Everyone does, except me and Mum, because she still loves him, and I know he loves her too, and I hate it that he’s not here, and nor is she now, and I hate you all for shouting at me . . .’
‘Hey, hey, hey,’ Stacy soothed, pulling her into an embrace as she started to sob. ‘Everything’s going to be fine, sweetheart, I promise.’
‘No, it isn’t, not now Dad’s with that other woman. Oh God, I don’t want him to leave us, Stace . . .’
‘Ssh, ssh,’ Stacy murmured, smoothing her hair.
‘How can he be so mean?’
Coming through the door, Lainey said, ‘What on earth is going on here?’
‘Mum!’ Tierney gasped, and rushed to hug her. ‘I’ve been really worried about you. Where were you? I thought you’d had an accident.’
Holding her close while regarding Stacy and Max curiously, Lainey said, ‘Well as you can see, I’m all in one piece, so no need for all this drama.’
Tierney pulled back to look at her. ‘Why didn’t you answer your phone? I kept ringing and ringing . . .’
‘I’m sorry, sweetheart. I turned it off while Marco and I went to talk to the priest in the village, and I only remembered to put it on again as I got back here.’
‘Where’s Marco now?’ Max asked, glancing towards the door.
‘He dropped me at the gates,’ and clutching Tierney’s teary face in her hands she planted a kiss on her forehead. ‘You’re a daft old thing, getting yourself so worked up over nothing.’
‘It’s not nothing,’ Tierney protested.
Lainey’s eyebrows rose. ‘No, I guess it isn’t,’ she agreed, ‘and I think you and I need to have a talk. Where’s Skye?’
‘Down at the pool with Brett and Ricky. They’re going back to England on Sunday.’ She almost added she wished they’d take Skye with them.
‘And you’re going on Saturday?’ Lainey said to Stacy, feeling a flutter of dread at the parting.
Looking decidedly fed up about it, Stacy said, ‘I have to, I’m afraid. I’m seeing Diana and the others on Sunday, ahead of a big meeting on Monday. But you don’t have to worry about driving me to the airport, because Lorenzo’s offered. Apparently he has to be in Florence on Saturday night, and he’s insisting that Pisa’s not too far out of his way.’
‘That’s kind of him,’ Lainey remarked, going to take a beer from the fridge, ‘and actually it could work out quite well, because Marco heard from Carlotta Calduzzi earlier. It seems her family, here in Tuoro, got in touch with her after his call to say why he wants to talk to her, and so she’s decided to come back early.’
Stacy’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘She’s cutting her holiday short in order to see you?’
Lainey shrugged. ‘I’m not sure it’s the only reason, but she’s definitely agreed to meet me. Now, aren’t you going to ask me what the priest had to say?’
Dutifully repeating the question, Stacy went to perch on the edge of the table, tossing Skye a towel as she came dripping through the door.
‘Sorry, I forgot to take one with me,’ Skye mumbled, and keeping her head down she scuttled on through to the bathroom.
Lainey looked curiously at Tierney, as though seeking an explanation for Skye’s unusual reticence, but Tierney’s eyes were on Max.
Breezing past the moment, Max prompted, ‘Priest.’
Taking her cue, Lainey slipped an arm round Tierney again as she said, ‘He turned out to be a very sweet man, and the church in the village is . . . Well, I’ll come on to the church, but unsurprisingly, I guess, Father Benedict had never heard of Melvina and Aldo Clementi.’
‘What about Alessandra?’ Stacy asked.
Lainey shook her head. ‘However, he had heard of the Valente family and the villa is still there, about halfway between here and Cortona.’
‘So is that where you’ve been?’ Tierney asked, her face still pinched. ‘To have a look at it?’
Lainey nodded. ‘Only from the outside. It’s a home for dementia sufferers now, but you can see it was really quite grand in its day.’
For some reason they all fell silent, until Max said, ‘The church? You were going to come on to it?’
‘Oh, that’s right. It’s really peculiar, but I had an amazingly strong sense of déjà vu while I was in there. It seemed to come out of the walls at me. I wondered if I might have been baptised there, but even if I was, being less than a month old at the time I couldn’t possibly have any memory of it. Anyway, I guess it’s fair to say that my Italian family has a history there, because I’m sure it’ll be where Melvina and Aldo got married, possibly my great-grandparents too. Granny would almost certainly have been baptised there, probably had her confirmation there too, and the confessional would have heard details of all their transgressions. If that small box could only speak . . .’ Though she waggled her eyebrows playfully, inside she was reliving the sense of unease she’d experienced during those few short minutes in the church. ‘Even if it could, we know it’d never yield up its secrets,’ she continued, ‘but I’m telling you, I had a really odd sort of feeling when I was there.’
‘I expect it was God giving you your calling,’ Max told her. ‘Maybe he wants you to
be a nun.’
Rolling her eyes, Lainey let go of Tierney and took out her phone. Time, she told herself, to put the strangeness of the afternoon behind her and get back to reality. ‘Where are the boys?’ she asked, checking her texts.
‘Zav rang about an hour ago,’ Stacy told her. ‘They’re having dinner at the Stefanis and Adriana or Lorenzo will pop them back after.’
Lainey nodded, and made herself smile as she looked up. No messages from Tom. ‘So, what are we going to do about food?’ she asked brightly. ‘Will Brett and Ricky be staying?’
‘I’ll go check,’ Max responded, and picking up his guitar he ambled off across the terrace, strumming a lazy tune as he went.
‘OK,’ Lainey declared in a businesslike fashion, ‘I guess we should . . . What is it?’ she demanded, noticing the expression on Tierney’s face.
Tierney barely looked up from her phone as she started for her bedroom. ‘Nothing,’ she mumbled
‘Is it from Dad?’ Lainey couldn’t help calling after her.
As the door closed behind her, Lainey turned to Stacy and felt suddenly sorry she’d come back after such an easy day with Marco.
‘She seems pretty wound up about things at the moment,’ Stacy confided, ‘so I think your proposed talk with her would be a good idea.’
Pushing her hands through her hair, Lainey nodded distractedly. Then, because it was the only sensible thing to do, she set about preparing dinner.
Tierney was waiting as Skye came in from the bathroom, wrapped in fresh towels. ‘Look at this,’ she urged shakily, but as she tried to thrust her mobile at Skye, Skye brushed on past.
Tierney regarded her uncertainly. ‘What is it?’ she asked.
‘What do you think?’ Skye snarled, rounding on her. ‘Exactly when were you planning to tell me about Max’s girlfriend coming over? And don’t pretend you didn’t know, because he told me you did.’
Not sure what to say, Tierney glanced at her text again.
‘Just what kind of friend are you?’ Skye raged. ‘You know I’m his girlfriend, so who the hell is this muppet? How long’s he been seeing her, that’s what I want to know?’